WILLIAM

 

“Tell me what the hell is going on here, Price.”

Sienna sashays into my apartment, anger rolling from her every pore. She shoves a magazine in my chest, effectively moving me out of her way.

“Hello to you too,” I drawl sarcastically.

This whole scene reminds me of another one that happened not so long ago. The day when Sienna confronted me after she returned to the States because I’d been stalking her place like a madman in hopes to get an answer about Anabel’s whereabouts.

Not a pretty memory or something I’d like to repeat.

“Don’t be dumb.” Sienna looks at me with narrowed eyes. Dropping her butt in the arm chair she lifts her feet on my coffee table. “What game are you playing?”

The jacket she’s wearing is open, leaving her pregnant belly exposed. I’m not sure how far along she is—six, seven months?—but she’s huge. It looks good on her, though. She looks happy and healthy. And pissed. She definitely looks pissed.

Her hand is covering the underside of her stomach, rubbing it softly. It seems like she’s not even aware of it.

“I’m not playing any games.” I cross hands over my chest in defiance. The last thing I want to do is fight or upset a pregnant woman, but her pissy behavior is getting on my nerves. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

One perfect eyebrow arches and she tilts her chin in the direction of the magazine, still tucked under my hand.

“What the hell is that then?”

Slowly, I peel the magazine from under my arm and open it to look for whatever made her so angry.

After everything that happened with Anabel last year we’ve grown close. I don’t remember doing or saying something to her lately that could cause this kind of rage thrown in my direction.

But when the magazine unfolds and my eyes look at the cover I know exactly what has her panties in the twist. Blood starts slowly boiling in my veins and I feel my own anger surface.

“This is bullshit!”

I throw the magazine on the table at her feet, but the offending assumption looks at me from the cover.

Trouble in paradise? New York Knights’ star quarterback seen with up-and-coming tennis player, Emma Hale.

The title is accompanied with the picture of me and Emma sitting side by side. Our bodies are close and we’re looking at each other—talking almost into each other’s ear—because the music was so loud we wouldn’t be able to hear each other properly otherwise. But I get how this can seem like something else to other people.

“I was with J.D. that night. Emma was there. She was supposed to meet a friend, but she bailed on her last minute, so J.D. invited her to sit with us. You called so he had to go home early, and we stayed a while behind. I wanted to go too, but I didn’t want to be rude. We had another drink and went home. End of story.”

“Did you tell Bel about it?”

“What? No! Why would I …?”

“She found out.” Her words freeze me. “We talked earlier today. She sent me the picture of the wedding dress and I called, and we talked … I asked her did you two talk, and then she wouldn’t let it go …”

The blood that was only seconds ago running wild suddenly slows down. Hands at my sides clench into fists so hard my nails dig into the skin, drawing blood.

“What did you tell her, Sienna?”

Her feet fall off the table and she gets up. For being pregnant, she’s quite agile.

“I told her the truth! I didn’t want her to find out from the internet! I thought you told her!”

My hands dig into the strands of my hair and I pull at it. The last thing I want is to go into a rage fit and do something I’ll regret later. Like strangling my best friend’s wife.

“What the fuck, Si?” I turn around and walk to the window.

The apartment suddenly feels too small. Walls are closing on me, and I feel trapped inside with no way out.

No way to get to Anabel.

No way to explain.

No way to make her listen.

“You should know better than that! Bel is feeling vulnerable now. That’s why I didn’t tell her anything.” I rub my face, trying to ease the throbbing pain in my temples. “You didn’t see her just before I had to come back home. She was fucking broken. She cried so hard. She begged and pleaded and demanded, but there was nothing I could do to ease her pain.”

I close my eyes, and I can see it all so clearly again. Bel’s tear-stained face, her blue eyes swollen and red. The memory of her fists pounding at my chest is so clear it matched the beat of my heart. And her sobs … Oh, God, those painful, broken sobs still hunt me in my dreams.

Chasing the memory away, I open my eyes and look at Sienna. All the fight that was in her when I opened my door is gone. Vanished. The only thing left behind is regret. Regret and sorrow.

“Will, I …”

“Don’t,” I interrupt her, shaking my head. “I have to call her. I have to make this better.”

Si nods her head in understanding. Her short, honey-colored hair swaying with the motion. “I’m sorry. I should have come to you first. I …”

“You should have,” I agree, taking the phone out of my pocket and turning my back on her.

This isn’t about Sienna. This is about Anabel. About my Tinkerbell, and I have to make it right before everything falls apart before it even began.

She knows I love her, I don’t doubt that for a second, but this forced distance between us makes the lines blurry. Brings out insecurities we didn’t even know existed until the point they’re here. Impeding. Hanging over our heads and whispering things that don’t exist into our ear. Making us believe our worst fears and insecurities are more than just fiction.

The phone rings and rings. With every beep that goes unanswered I feel my heart sink down even lower, dread washing over me. Fear is squeezing my heart so strong I’m afraid it’ll break.

What if she doesn’t answer?

What if she already gave up on me? On us?

How do I make a girl that is so fragile and vulnerable believe that nothing, absolutely nothing, can come between us?

Finally, before I can tear myself with more what ifs, hows and whens, the beeping stops. At first, I think the call was disconnected but then I hear her soft breathing on the other side of the line.

Anabel maybe is hundreds of miles away from me, but at this moment I can almost feel her warm breath touch my skin.

I squeeze me eyes shut, allowing myself only a fraction of a second to enjoy the sound of her. Relief washes over me, but it doesn’t last long.

“Baby …?” I rasp, a note of desperation in my low voice.

It feels hard to talk. My throat is dry, and every swallow is painful.

“William …”

“Bel, babe, please let me explain. Okay?” I don’t let her speak. If I do, I’ll give her a chance to dump my sorry ass and that is not happening. “That is definitely not what it looks like.”  

She laughs, but there is nothing funny in her tone. “Why does this feel like something from a cheesy movie?”

“If it’s something from a cheesy movie than you should know that I’m right. Let me see you. Give me a chance to explain,” I plead with her.

There is nothing I wouldn’t do for this girl.

Silence stretches between us. Almost as long as the miles that separate us.

“Okay,” she finally agrees, and I don’t wait for a second longer. I pull the phone off my ear and select a video call.

Her face shows on the screen soon after. It’s slightly blurry, but soon she’s in focus. The room is dim, but I can see her lying in the bed. Hands are gripping the pillow under her cheek. She’s pale, and her blue eyes seem even bigger. They swallow her face completely. She’s not crying, but her eyes are still red which means she did cry.

“Tink …”

Her name is just a whisper that fills the space between us. My finger traces the screen. I want to touch her so badly. If I could I would go through the screen to be with her. I would wrap my hands around her body and pull her close to me. I would cup her cheeks and bring her face to me, kiss her senselessly. Long, hard, and possessive so that once I’m done there is no doubt in her brain that there isn’t and will never be anyone else besides her.

She’s my everything.

My forever.

Anabel is close enough that I can see tears fill her eyes. They slay me. She slays me. This—seeing her hurting, tears pooling her eyes—is worse than anything else. It’s like a punch in the nuts and knockout in one.

I swallow hard, Adam’s apple bobbling with the motion. “I love you, Anabel Majer. I love you with every cell in my body. With every breath I take and every beat of my heart. It’s all for you. I should have told you about Emma. I should have told you she joined us that night I went out with J.D. But that is the only mistake I made. One I do not plan to repeat again.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice is weak and raspy. I can feel her doubts and insecurities from the other side of Atlantic. “Did you think I wouldn’t l-let you hang out with her because she’s a woman?”

“What? No!” I yell, but when she flinches at my tone I lower it down a notch. “I know you wouldn’t mind me hanging out with her, but I know how all this long-distance shit and one of us always walking away has gotten to you. I feel it, baby. I hurt too. I’m done with walking away. I’m done with letting you go.”

“It’ll happen again. You have to travel for football.” Anabel sniffles softly.

“Yes.” I nod. “But you can come with me. Writers can work from wherever.”

“You’ve been thinking about everything.”

I shake my head. “You’re my everything, Bel. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

“Me too. I love you, Will.” One lone tear falls down her cheek. “Sometimes it scares the shit out of me how much I love you. I didn’t believe it’s possible to feel this way.”

“I know,” I agree.

My fingers itch to wipe the tear away. I want to kiss her so badly. Make her forget all the bad things and concentrate on good ones. I want to erase all the ugly memories and replace them with new ones. But I can’t because she’s in Croatia, and I’m stuck here in States.

“It scares me too. But what scares me more is the thought of losing you.”

“You’re not losing me.” Her finger reaches for the camera. It’s like she too wants to touch me but can’t.

“I love you, Bel.”

“I love you too, Will,” she whispers. Blue eyes shine just a tad brighter.

“No more secrets,” I promise.

Something falls over her eyes. Something dark, but she steers them to the side. “No more secrets.”

Her eyes come back to me, the darkness is gone. But, somehow, I can’t erase it from my mind. Is it really over? Are our secrets finally behind us?