WILLIAM

 

Watching her walk away, seeing the tears in her eyes … It breaks me.

It fucking breaks me.

If I could take her pain I would. If I could do something to make even the tiniest of smiles appear on her lips I would.

I’d do anything.

Be anything.

But nothing I do or say will change the fact that this is our life. This is what we have to do—what we chose—in order to one day, eventually down the road, be together.

At that moment, now almost a year ago, it seemed like things couldn’t get worse.

When Bel left me for the first time, I was broken. I didn’t know what was happening. Why did she leave? The only thing I knew was that I needed her. She was my air. My heartbeat. Without her my life didn’t make sense. My chest was just an empty shell. I was existing, but I wasn’t living. At that moment, I thought I knew what pain was. Well, I was wrong.

The first time I had to turn my back to her and leave her behind?

The first time I watched her walk away and I knew I couldn’t do anything to stop her?

I don’t know which one was worse.

Her eyes were shattered into pieces. The pools without an end, drowning in tears. Her quiet sobs would bring even the strongest of man to their knees. Her swollen, red lips were begging me to kiss her. To take all this pain away.

But there is nothing that could ease the impact of our decision. Nothing that could make it better and take the pain away.

Not even the knowledge that we are together, that this isn’t the end, that we’ll see each other soon, could make all of this right.

That first time we held on for as long as they would let us. Until the very last minute—very last second ... Even as they were calling my name to board the plane, I couldn’t make myself untangle her from my arms.

Because leaving Bel behind was like leaving my heart.

But I sucked it up and did it. I untangled her shaking body from mine and took a step back. Then another and another. Until I couldn’t see her tear-stained face. Until her sobs didn’t reach my ears. Until she was just a memory that appeared when I closed my eyes.

That first time I left her behind, and then months later when I had to go through all of that all over again, only this time I was the one left behind I learned what a real pain—a real heartbreak—is.

It’s not something I would wish on my worst enemy.

It consumes you whole. You’re just a shadow of the person that existed once. Just an illusion. There’s nothing you can do but feel. Feel so much. So hard. So long. Those dark feelings that make you rethink and doubt everything you think you know.

As days turn to weeks turn to months and seasons change, we do it again and again. We meet, on both sides of Atlantic, we are together, and we savor every second we have together only to part at the end of the way. Only to go through all of it again. Through heartbreak and pain. Through tears and one big gap of nothingness.

I grip the railing that separates me from the woman I love. The woman that holds my heart. I try to even my breathing, to push the pain inside of the box and close it away. To shut down the memories, the feelings that these moments always bring to life.

It’s hard.

So damn hard.

Almost as much as letting go of her hand.

But I do it.

Every fucking time.

I let go.

We let go.

You know why?

Because at the end of the day, we do believe all of this will make us grow stronger. That the distance between us will make us cherish every second we have together and the love we share is fierce enough to withstand it all.

The distance.

The heartbreak.

The pain.

Because our love is forever.

*

ANABEL

 

Saying goodbye is not the only thing that’s hard. It’s also hard to return home. Or what I called home before I met William Price and he turned my life upside down.

The differences between our two worlds are as evident and as clear as day. It scares me, and it excites me. But more importantly, just as I’ve known since the moment I’ve met him, Will changed the world as I’ve known it and no matter what, nothing will ever be the same again.

“You’re yawing.” Valentina looks at me accusingly. “Again.”

But being the good friend she is, she signals the waiter to get us another round of coffee.

“Jet lag is killing me.”

“I think you spent more time traveling than you did at his place.”

“But it was worth it, Val.” I sigh contently when the smell of fresh coffee reaches my nostrils. There is nothing like coffee. My medicine for everything. “They won the freaking Super Bowl. How cool is that? What if it was the only chance he had and I missed it? No way.”

Val looks at me like I’ve grown another head and shakes her head in amusement. “Just the fact that you know what the Super Bowl is, is amazing in itself.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad!” I protest. “You should have seen me when I first came to the US.”

“I can imagine.” Val laughs, her blond curls bouncing with the movement. “I still can’t believe that the most clueless girl when it comes to sports landed herself a football player for a boyfriend.”

“The only thing you care about is his job and status,” I tease her. Valentina is a lot of things, but superficial isn’t one of them. I just enjoy getting the best of her.

“The fact that he’s good looking, smart, funny and kind doesn’t hurt, either.”

“I know,” I sigh again. This time, my content state and most likely dreamy gaze have nothing to do with coffee. If there’s one thing that I love more in this life than coffee, it’s William. “He’s perfect.”

“Please tell me there is another Will Price out there in the world. I would hate to have to steal your boyfriend just because he’s freaking amazing.”

“Hey!” I slap her hand on the table. “You keep your grubby paws off my guy, you hear me, missy? And anyway, don’t you have your own boyfriend?”

A dark shadow passes over her face only for a second. But I know her good enough to notice. I narrow my eyes at her.

“Is everything okay between you and Dominik?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” The wide smile that she forces on her face would look real to anyone but me. I know her better than that. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kick him in the butt if a doppelgänger of your boyfriend existed somewhere in the world.”

I open my mouth to tell her there might be a close second when her phone chimes on the table, signaling she has a text message and averting our attention off the conversation.

“I have to go. They need me at the office.” She gets up in a hurry and gathers her stuff. “Rain check?”

“Yeah. See you later.”

My lips press together in a tight line as I watch her sashay away.

Val got away this time, but I’ll get to the bottom of it. Something’s going on with her and Dominik. I’m sure of it.