Chapter Thirteen
For the next two weeks, life was a blur. Kevin met with Brent, who was his City Connections counterpart. They had met with Mayor Park once, who made it clear to Kevin he wanted to be as hands-off as possible. Other than talking on the phone daily and one all-too-brief lunch date, he hadn’t seen Kathy at all and it was taking its toll on him.
She wasn’t pressuring him. In fact, she seemed about as cool as one could be, which was almost as irritating as Park’s constant demands. He was beginning to feel like their relationship didn’t matter as much to her as it did to him.
Every time he called to apologize and say he was working late, she said she understood. She couldn’t wait up for him or meet for a late dinner or drinks because she had to get up so early. He stared at the empty wall of his office, wishing for a window to stare out. He needed to figure out how to make time to spend with Kathy and still make everything happen here.
Realistically, he knew the beginning of this new partnership was going to be the worst. Once they established everything, it would run a little smoother and it wouldn’t be so time-consuming. He certainly wouldn’t be expected to work sixty- or seventy-hour weeks forever.
A knock on his door drew his attention. No one came to his office. Most of his work was done by e-mail. If he had a meeting, he used the conference room. Although he loved the privacy of his office, he was a little embarrassed by the room itself.
“Come in.”
Sheila pushed the door open. “You have a visitor.”
He looked at her for more information, especially since he wasn’t expecting anyone, but then Kathy pushed through the opening with a thanks to Sheila on the way. Kathy carried two plants and a plastic bag that smelled like dinner.
He stood from his chair. “What are you doing here?”
She set everything on the chair in front of his desk. “You’ve been working a lot and we haven’t been able to spend any time together.” She came over and kissed him. “I missed you.”
Every concern he had about her lack of involvement disappeared in that instant. He reached past her and swung the door shut. Then returned his complete attention to kissing her thoroughly. He tasted her like she was the most expensive bottle of whiskey known to man. He savored her because he knew he wouldn’t be spending the night with her no matter how much he wanted to. He’d be working late tonight like he did every night.
When he pulled away, he said, “Christ, I’ve missed that.”
“Me too.”
He stepped farther back because if he didn’t, he would start undressing her and that wasn’t a smart move in his new office. She smiled as if reading his thoughts, and looked around.
“You weren’t kidding. It’s bare-bones in here.”
“It’s nothing special, but it’s mine.”
“Hey, that makes it special. It’s your office. In city hall. That’s pretty cool.”
He pointed at the stuff she’d carried in. “What’s all this?”
“Plants, of course. No office is complete without them.” At his grimace, she swatted a hand. “These are easy to care for and they’ll totally brighten the space. And they’re not too girly.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, I have zero sunlight. They’ll be dead in a week.”
“This is a ZZ plant and this is a peace lily. Both are excellent for little to no natural light. I chose them knowing that you were currently living in a closet.” She chuckled as she said it and arranged the pots on his bookshelves. “There’s a handy little card next to each of them with instructions about watering. I kept it simple.”
She turned to face him and his heart tumbled. He had no idea how he’d managed to go so long without seeing her beautiful face.
She smiled. “What?”
“I can’t get over how much I missed you.”
She nodded.
He took her hand. “No. Like really missed you. We talk and I feel it every time we hang up, but seeing you now, it’s like a kick to the gut. Not seeing you fucking sucks.”
Her fingers stroked his jaw. “You just got a huge promotion and the project is demanding. I get it. When I opened the flower shop, I didn’t do anything but sleep and work. And sometimes, I didn’t even sleep. That’s why I suggested that maybe this wasn’t a good time to start a relationship.”
Oh, hell no. She was not going to break up with him when they’d come this far.
“But we decided to make this work, so here I am.”
Kevin was turning into an idiot. Never in his life had he spent so much time worrying about what a woman thought or how she felt or whether she was about to break up with him. With his thoughts racing, he kissed her again. Other couples managed this without a nervous breakdown. They could too.
When he pulled away, he asked, “You’re doing okay with this?”
“Not really. I need to spend time with my boyfriend. It’s hard to have a relationship with someone if you’re never together. I need to be with you physically. I need to date.”
His stomach sank. He’d figure this out.
“That’s why I’m here. I know you don’t have a ton of time, but everyone has to eat. Dinner is served. I figured you’d be tired of pizza, so I got Chinese.” She began to set the food on his desk.
“Wait.” He glanced around, and then grabbed the bag from her. “Let’s do a picnic.”
He plopped on the floor. Patting the spot next to him he said, “Carpet’s clean. Brand-new.”
She sat beside him and they opened the cartons of food.
“This way, we can share.” He held a forkful of fried rice to her mouth.
She looked at his thigh brushing hers. “I’m sure that was your first thought.”
“You naked is always my first thought. Touching you my second. If I get to my third thought, I’ll be really uncomfortable, so tell me about your day instead.”
She burst out laughing, and Kevin knew they had to find a way to spend more time together. He wanted to be able to come home to her and tell her about his day and hold her throughout the night.
Why the hell couldn’t he?
“What do you think about spending the night at my apartment?”
“When?”
“Tonight.”
She looked up from her carton of food. “I can’t stay here that late.”
“I’ll give you my key. Go home, pack a bag and go to my place. You can crawl into my bed and wait for me.”
“How are you going to get in if I fall asleep?”
“I have a spare.” He thought of the magnetic box Jimmy had made him put under his car long ago.
“You sure that won’t be weird for you?”
“What?”
“Having me in your house when you’re not there.”
“I don’t have anything to hide.” He leaned over the food and kissed her lips. “I really want to spend the night with you.” Another kiss. “And wake up with you.”
“Okay,” she whispered, a little breathless.
Yeah, they’d figure this out. There was no way he was going to lose her again.
* * *
Kathy was glad she’d surprised Kevin at work. The impromptu picnic on his office floor was a much-needed break for both of them. Now she stood in her apartment trying to figure what to pack. It shouldn’t be so difficult. It was one night. And she’d probably sleep naked. So all she really needed were clothes for work tomorrow.
But then she started to think about taking a shower. Should she bring some shampoo and conditioner? Kevin probably didn’t even know what conditioner was. What about a toothbrush? Just because she had an extra for him didn’t mean he’d have one for her. It wasn’t like this sleepover had been planned.
Why did everything stress her out so much?
After shoving some clothes into a bag, she went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. She grabbed a tube of chocolate chip cookie dough and cut it open. Cookie dough had been her go-to stress reliever for years. She’d been eating it since she was old enough to sneak the package and open it by herself.
She remembered the first time her mother had come to her apartment and found the open package in the fridge. Her mom had questioned why Kathy hadn’t finished baking them. For a few minutes, Kathy had felt like a nine-year-old all over again, trying to figure out the right words to say to keep the peace. Then she admitted the truth: she had no intention of baking them. She liked the dough raw.
Her mother of course threw a fit because raw dough could make her sick. Kathy had let her ramble with the litany of horrible illnesses that might befall her. She’d been tempted to take a bite right then in front of her mom, but she didn’t have the guts to do that. Moira would have. Kathy wished she had the courage—or at least the don’t-give-a-damn—Moira had.
She sighed and plopped down on her couch. This was ridiculous. She was a grown woman in an adult relationship. Her boyfriend had given her a key to his apartment so she could wait for him. It shouldn’t conjure memories of her mother and being stressed out with her family.
It was no big deal. In fact, it was a good sign that he wanted to keep their relationship moving forward.
It wasn’t like he’d cleaned out half his closet and invited her in.
Damn. Why did her brain go there? Was that what she wanted? With a groan, she wrapped up the remaining dough and tossed it on the table. She wanted to be with Kevin.
She was falling for him and it was freaking her out.
She’d been through enough therapy to be able to recognize that. She squared her shoulders. Yeah, falling for someone was scary.
Falling for a guy she didn’t totally trust even scarier.
Maybe she needed to trust her gut. Freaking out was a warning sign. She’d wanted to take it slow and as she’d pointed out to Kevin, slow went out the window when she pulled him into her bed. His key weighed heavily in her pocket. He was expecting her. What would he do if she wasn’t there?
He’d be pissed. Her stomach tumbled. She shouldn’t just blow him off, but if she called or texted, he’d talk her into going to his apartment. He had all the smooth words to convince her.
She needed to wrap her head around what she was doing and where they were going. Standing up, she grabbed her cookie dough to put in the fridge. She turned her phone off and went to take a shower.
When she crawled into bed a while later, she didn’t feel any better. She lay awake for a long time, staring at the clock wondering where Kevin was and whether he was angry with her.