Chapter Nineteen
Kevin sat hunched over his desk typing another memo. As different as this new job was, some things didn’t change at all. He couldn’t begin to count how many hours a day he spent at his computer typing and revising and e-mailing. But the rush to get his desk clear today would be worth it because this weekend, he would be free.
Just him and Kathy. A whole weekend where they had nothing to do but sleep, talk, fuck, and eat.
Well, maybe she might want to do some sightseeing or shopping or some other girly shit, and for her, he’d suck it up. As long as she remained naked in bed with him the rest of the time. Maybe they needed to write up a contract for how this weekend should go. He stared at the blinking cursor on the screen. He needed to focus on his job.
A soft knock had him looking up and when he saw Kathy standing in the doorway, he blinked, sure he was hallucinating. When she didn’t disappear, he stood. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you and it couldn’t wait.” She came into the room and closed the door behind her.
The serious look on her face scared him. In his gut, he knew he was losing his weekend with her. “What is it?”
She moved forward slowly and set his keys on his desk. “This isn’t working. Let me know what I owe you for the bed and breakfast. You probably won’t be able to get your deposit back.”
He stared at the keys for a full minute and processed what she said. Then it finally sank in. “You’re breaking up with me?”
She nodded and backed away.
“What the hell happened?” His voice was a little louder than he’d intended, but what the fuck had she expected?
Her eyes widened as she looked at him. “Look, I don’t want a scene. I promised you I wouldn’t just disappear like I did last time. So I’m saying good-bye.”
She reached for the door.
“That’s all I get? You swing by my office to be sure there won’t be a scene. You don’t offer me any explanation. Just drop my fucking key and say good-bye? What the hell is that?” He rounded his desk to stop her.
She spun before opening the door. “You said things were different and as much as we want them to be, they’re not.”
“What are you talking about?”
He watched as she took a deep, halting, shaky breath, sure she’d give him something, some information that he could refute. Instead she licked her lips and then pressed them together before speaking. “I wish you could understand how hard just doing this much was for me. Yes, it was a total cop-out to come while you were at work because I knew you wouldn’t cause a scene here, but I can’t do this. Please just let me go.”
Her eyes were so sad and scared, he couldn’t push her, no matter how much he wanted to. “I’ll call you later. This isn’t over.”
She opened the door. “Yes it is. It has to be.”
And she walked out.
Kevin stared after her for a long time and tried to figure out what he could’ve done to screw up. They’d texted yesterday before his meeting with Marnie. They hadn’t had any contact since then. He searched his brain and came up empty.
Then he went back to work. He accepted that maybe he’d lose part of his weekend away with Kathy, but this was a hiccup, a bump in the road. He’d figure out what had upset her and they’d fix it. She was overreacting to something simple. It had to be.
They weren’t over. No way.
It took all afternoon to write the few e-mails he had. His focus was all over the place. He couldn’t get Kathy’s eyes out of his head. He’d never seen them so completely despondent. As much as he wanted to dismiss what she’d said, he knew he couldn’t. When he left the office, he went straight to her apartment. No lights were on, but he rang anyway. Then he tried her phone. Voice mail.
“Kathy, we need to talk. I gave you the afternoon to calm down. Now I deserve an explanation. I’m at your place. Where are you?”
He went back and sat in his car and waited. He drove by the flower shop, saw that it was closed, lights off, and went back to her apartment. He called again. As the phone rang in his ear, he expected her voice mail again because she was clearly avoiding him and any confrontation.
“Stop calling me.”
“Wait.”
“What?”
He swallowed and his brain scrambled to figure out what to say. He hadn’t considered that she’d answer. “Please talk to me. We can fix this.”
“No, we can’t. It’s over.”
“You can’t just say that and not give me a reason or anything.”
“I did give you a reason. You weren’t listening. Good-bye, Kevin.” Then she disconnected.
As he drove to the store to grab some beer and a bottle of whiskey, he replayed the conversation in his office. As far as reasons went, what she’d offered was weak as fuck. What she’d said made no sense and now he was getting pissed off. He paid for his purchase and texted Jimmy to say he was on his way over to get drunk.
He’d followed his younger brothers’ advice to get the girl and it had seemed like it worked, but something had fallen apart. Maybe Jimmy had some words of wisdom. After parking near Jimmy’s house, he grabbed his liquor and went up the stairs. Jimmy met him at the front door.
“What happened?”
“I don’t even fucking know,” Kevin answered.
They went into the living room and sat on the couch. Kevin handed Jimmy a beer, and they both twisted the caps off the bottles. “Moira home?”
“Nope.”
Kevin downed half the bottle and prayed for clarity. “Things have been good, man. More than good. We were supposed to go away this weekend. We’ve been dealing with all of the shit from the past and handling it.” He gulped more. At least he’d thought they’d been handling it. “My hours at work have been rough, but even that, we’ve been dealing with.”
“So what happened?” As usual, Jimmy nursed his beer as he listened.
“She showed up at my office today, slapped my apartment keys on my desk, and said, ‘It’s over.’” He twisted the cap off the whiskey and drank straight from the bottle.
“Wait. What keys?” Jimmy scooted forward and braced his elbows on his knees. “You didn’t say it was so serious that you were swapping keys.”
Kevin finished his beer and opened another. “We didn’t swap. I gave her my keys to help her trust me. I wanted to prove to her that I have nothing to hide. I’m not bringing other chicks home to bang when I’m not with her, you know? She wasn’t ready to share keys because she didn’t trust me.”
He sank back on the couch cradling the whiskey in one arm. “I really thought I was earning that trust.”
“She was here last night. Moira said she was really upset.”
“Kathy was here?” He took another shot of whiskey.
“Yeah. Before I came home. By the time I got here, she was asleep on the couch. Moira didn’t give me the details, but she said Kathy was a mess and it was about you. I just figured you guys had a fight.”
“Nope. We don’t fight.” He took a swig.
“Everyone fights.”
Kevin shook his head. “Well, Kathy doesn’t fight. Ever. She gets upset and then she fucking runs away.”
The front door clicked and Moira came in. She took one look at Kevin and Jimmy and said, “Shit.”
“’Bout sums it up, babe,” Kevin said. “Can you give me the insight I’m missing? Kathy broke up with me and won’t tell me why.”
He popped the top on another beer. His third? He lost count. Didn’t matter. The alcohol was hitting his empty stomach hard.
Moira sighed and sat next to him on the couch. Weird. She never got within touching distance. Then she did the unthinkable: she placed a hand on his thigh. If he were sober, he’d crack a joke. Of course, Jimmy would beat his ass for that.
When Kevin looked at her, Moira’s face was filled with pity. Damn. This wasn’t going to be good.
“She saw you yesterday.”
“Saw me where?”
She took a deep breath. “She talked to her mom last night and was upset, and she came to see you at your office.”
“No, she didn’t.”
Moira stiffened and she arched an eyebrow. “Yes. She did.”
Kevin shook his head and it felt like his eyeballs were rolling around in his skull.
Moira nudged his leg. “She saw you with some blonde sharing a drink and laughing.”
“Huh?” He blinked slowly and deliberately. “Marnie? That’s the only blonde I was with yesterday. Kathy knew I was meeting with Marnie. I told her. I didn’t lie. It wasn’t secret.”
Moira held up her hands. “Look, as impossible as it seems, I defended you. Her emotions were raw. She was messed up from talking with her mom. You’ve never seen what that does to her, have you?”
He shook his head. “She told me about her parents. About her childhood, but she doesn’t say much.”
“They turn her inside out. And this was worse. She was coming to you for comfort, and she saw you with this Marnie person.”
“She’s a colleague!” Kevin stood and nearly dropped his bottle of whiskey. “For fuck’s sake.”
“What are you doing?”
“I didn’t fucking cheat on her. I wouldn’t do that!”
“You don’t need to yell at me. I told you, I defended you. I didn’t think you cheated on her. I just don’t think she was ready to hear it. She jumped to conclusions because she was upset.”
He set the alcohol on the table. He was done drinking. He needed to think. He needed a plan. “What the fuck do I do?”
“Sleep it off,” Jimmy said. “You can’t do a damn thing like this.”
“Always with the words of wisdom. Good thing you have Moira to do the talking for you.” Kevin sat back on the couch, which he needed because the room had begun to spin. Maybe Jimmy had a point. He looked at Moira.
“I don’t know, Kevin. I don’t know if there’s anything you can do.”
“Don’t say that. There’s gotta be something.” His throat closed and his eyes burned. No fucking way was he going out like this. Crying like a baby and giving up. He snatched the bottle of whiskey off the table and drank until the lump in his throat eased.
Jimmy stood and cleared the table. Moira took the bottle from Kevin’s hand. “This won’t fix it,” she said. “I’ll try talking to her again tomorrow. Get some sleep.”
He rested his head on the back of the couch. Moira got up and returned with a pillow and blanket.
He opened one eye and looked at her. “I’m sorry I was such an asshole to you when we were growing up. You know it was just because I liked you. You know that, right? Jimmy’s lucky to have you.”
“He sure the hell is,” Moira said.
Kevin sat for a while and thought about Kathy and everything they’d been fighting for. He’d sworn he wouldn’t hurt her again, and yet he knew that she was sitting at home hurting right now. He had to talk to her. He stood and the room was still spinning. Using the app on his phone, he called for a car.
Then he did what he learned to do as a teenager—he snuck out of the O’Malley house.