Chapter 19
Ian
I walked briskly through the halls of MTS that morning, nodding and smiling at all the familiar faces on the way. Even though I was in a good mood, I still resisted the few small attempts at conversation. More than anything else, I wanted to get to my office. I wanted to sit down and get to work. Admittedly, I hadn’t been getting a lot of work done, with all the plaguing thoughts of Kate whirling about my mind.
When I finally reached my floor, I sighed. Not with dread to be at the office, like usual. I wasn’t in a piss-poor mood or anything. On the contrary, I was in a pretty damn good mood. My sigh was one of longing, not irritation. I longed for Kate. I wanted her long limbs to be wrapped around me again.
A part of me felt self-conscious that I was sighing dreamily like a love-struck teenager, but luckily for me the top floor was deserted. It was still early, before most people arrived.
Janice — one of the first top-floor people usually in the doors— wasn’t even here yet. That was probably a good thing, because no one could read me quite like Janice. I knew we’d have some sort of conversation about it all. But in the meantime, I could actually concentrate on some work. Then I’d be doing well. I’d have a huge chunk of it done before Kate was even up and able to tell her father about us, or Janice was in the office to question me.
I trekked to my desk, laid my briefcase down, and wandered over to the giant windowed wall. Gazing out, I let my mind drift off, just like I’d been doing ever since first meeting Kate.
I wondered what she’d think about the view, and what she’d think of my office. After spending her life with Michael Murphy, she probably couldn’t care less about medical innovations, but maybe she’d be curious about how we ran things here.
No more thinking about Kate. I really needed to get to work. I sat at my desk and opened my laptop. For the next two hours, I worked steadily. I’d glanced up occasionally over the top of my screen and watched as people started to filter in. I’d only been distracted once, and that was when Janice had brought in a cup of coffee for me, her mouth turned up in a sweetened smile.
“You’ve been working on the new concept for a while,” she said. “How’s that going?” She leaned down to look at the screen.
I smiled. Usually assistants didn’t give a rat’s ass about anything technical with the company. All the other assistants in the office, in fact, skulked around and only focused on the job two-dimensionally. They only focused on knowing what they had to know. They only did the minimum. Janice wasn’t like that—she was concerned about what was going on. She knew my days in and out, and she helped me in times of stress and need — and God knows I had experienced plenty of those times after being left in charge of the whole company.
She was the best assistant I’d had. She felt like a mother, of sorts. She was a friend at the very least, and I needed friends in a business as cutthroat as this one.
“I think it’s going to be just what we need to slaughter the competition.” I chuckled proudly as I looked at the technology’s schematics.
“Slaughter,” she sighed. “I love that you talk about this like it’s war.”
“It is war,” I reminded her.
She sighed. “When I first signed up for this job, I didn’t realize how ruthless medical technology companies could be.”
“Any business that sells anything in a competitive market is ruthless. Especially in New York City.”
She patted my shoulder. “Let’s get you some of this coffee. You’ll like it, and who knows — it might actually get rid of this ridiculous stress knot right here.”
She pressed firmly down on my shoulder and immediately I groaned out in euphoric surprise. I hadn’t even realized that I’d been tense in that spot.
“That feels amazing. Look out, future wife of Ian Cross. She might have found her match with you,” I joked.
“What’s up with the really early start this morning? Everything okay?” Janice questioned. “Probably not good on the stress. You need to sleep more.”
“Actually, I think being here and getting work done is a little less stressful.” I said. “Everything’s great. Just getting started.” I smiled as I shifted in my swivel chair. “It’s about time that I get ahead again.”
“All the details are working out, though?” she asked.
I was sure, from her tone that she really didn’t care. She was asking because she knew it was important to me, and because it was important to the company. In reality, she probably had no interest in it; this was just conversation.
But then a terrible guilty feeling balled up in my stomach. The thought of how attentive she’d always been caused my eyes to drop to the floor in shame. I didn’t even know the first thing about Janice’s life, but she knew almost everything about mine.
“They are. Really well,” I said, relieved by the fact that things were starting to look up. I also felt immaculately at peace all of a sudden as Janice continued to rub my shoulders and upper back.
“And what about the reason you’re in such a good mood?” she asked, leaning over my shoulder so that I could see her face. She wore a mischievous smile.
“What do you know?” I asked.
“Only that I have access to your emails, and your date and address books, and I know you’ve been seeing someone named Kate.”
“You dirty, rotten sneak,” I joked.
She grabbed hold of her chest and her mouth fell open in mock offense. “I absolutely have no idea what you mean.”
“Kate and I haven’t even known each other long,” I said, knowing that a blush was coming up on my cheeks. I didn’t know how to answer her question about Kate. I should have prepared myself, though, because I knew Janice — and I should have known she’d ask. “I can’t even explain it.”
“Sometimes you don’t need to explain anything,” she replied with the most knowing smile I’d ever seen.
“Look at the wise old owl,” I joked.
“Old is right. Not sure about the wise part.” She rolled her eyes and chuckled as she started straightening up my desk.
“I can tell there’s been a big change in your demeanor lately, though,” she quipped. “Some of it, not the best demeanor. Are you sure this is healthy?”
I cringed. I must have been acting like a complete jackass for Janice to say anything. In fact, I remembered snapping at her just the day before, right after my confrontation with Kate.
“Yeah, like my attitude last night,” I said, feeling terrible.
“I wouldn’t call it an attitude,” she said with a laugh. “You’re stressed.”
I held my hand up to stop her. “I might be stressed, but it’s not an excuse to treat you the way that I do sometimes. I’m sorry.”
She looked at the floor for a second before she glanced back up with a glistening film over her eyes. She threw a half smile at me, and I knew that she was holding back tears. I could only hope that they were tears of a happy nature. Maybe she was happy that I was apologizing, and not sad that I’d hurt her feelings yesterday.
I had to lighten the mood, and fast. I laughed, lightly. “You are right about one thing, though.”
“Oh, yeah?” she asked. “What’s that?”
“Things are going really well, and I’m feeling good about whatever’s happening.”
She smirked. “Happiness from the CEO? This must be a sign of Armageddon. This is my cue to leave.”
She turned on her heel and tried to walk away, but I grabbed her forearm gently, stopping her. “I really am sorry,” I said.
“You were a little bit of a dick,” she said.
When she’d said the word “dick,” she whispered it. Almost like she was ashamed of the word, or embarrassed. She was usually terrified to tell me off — or tell me when I was being a dick.
“But yeah, anyway, things are moving with this,” I said. “The relationship has been going pretty fast. I’ve never felt like this, but there have been a few other pressing matters. She’s moving to the West Coast soon — not to mention she has to take care of her teenage sister. And her family…” I stopped. I didn’t feel like airing out the entire sordid story. The term sleeping with the enemy was something I definitely took to heart in this case. I didn’t want it to get around the office just yet.
Not that Janice would say anything, but I couldn’t be too careful. So I closed myself off. I didn’t want to give too much away, and she seemed to understand. She changed the subject — only a little. We were still talking about my pending relationship.
She pushed my coffee cup toward me. “What’s she like?”
“Great. She’s a special education teacher. Very kind, sweet, and gorgeous.” I didn’t want to go into too much detail.
There was a flicker in Janice’s blue eyes, and it was fleeting, but it was there. The look of care. “She sounds wonderful.” She was smiling. “I’m sure whatever it is that’s causing the problems will settle with time.”
“Thanks. I hope so,” I said as I stood up and went to look out the window. I needed to gather up my scattered emotions, but I didn’t want it to be obvious. I could open up somewhat, but I couldn’t completely become an open book overnight, especially with someone I worked with. My employees needed to see me as fierce. They needed to think that I was emotionless as a businessman, that I was powerful, intimidating — the complete epitome of a New York shark.
I turned around and faced Janice again. She was just finishing up with my desk, straightening a folder as I turned to look at her.
I wasn’t sure why, but the moment felt a little intense. I wondered if it was because I was so uptight, so scared of the possibility of people finding out who I was dating. I hoped not, because that would seem like I was ashamed, and I wasn’t.
I was worried. That much was for certain.
Janice didn’t push anymore. She didn’t ask for another word about Kate. Instead, she talked about the task at hand — straightening the folder of papers and making sure my coffee was situated just so on my desk.
She always knew exactly what it was that I liked.
“You always make the perfect coffee,” I mused. I took a sip and enjoyed the feeling of the hot liquid sliding down my throat. It jolted my taste buds awake. I hadn’t gone to Starbucks that morning, hadn’t had time. I’d wanted to be at work early, and besides, I knew Kate was still sleeping off our night together.
“Glad you like it,” she said. “Enjoy the rest of it. Message me if you need anything!”
And with that she was gone, and I was back to looking at my computer screen.
A few minutes later, voices raised in argument outside my office. I glanced up to see what was going on. It only took a second before I saw a very red-faced Ben Murphy pounding his way through the hall toward my office door.
I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d somehow had some crazy big-brother attitude that prompted such an early — and unannounced — visit.
“Mr. Murphy!” Janice exclaimed in an indignant voice.
I knew she was trying not to disturb me, but I’d already heard a resounding, “I’m going in!” from Ben.
I wasn’t deaf, but I sure as hell was amused.
“You cannot go in there!” she yelled, chasing after him.
But he didn’t listen. Instead he continued toward my domain and barreled through the door, Janice hot on his tail.
“Nice to see you, Ben.” I rose up from my desk and walked around to greet him, without even bothering to button my jacket.
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Cross!” Janice yelled.
I waved my hand and winked at her. “No problem, Janice. Hold my calls.”
She nodded, out of breath, and hurried off, closing the door quickly behind her.
I walked toward him. I still didn’t button my suit, and I also didn’t bother trying to shake his hand. Instead, I stuffed my hands into the perfectly angled pockets of my bespoke suit pants and looked at him, a friendly grin on my face. I didn’t want him to think that scare tactics were going to work, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to back down from Benjamin Murphy, Tiny Tim of the business world. I’d seen newborn babies who were more intimidating.
The good thing, though, was that he didn’t seem to care. He didn’t seem like he was there to shake hands, anyhow. I just wondered what he was there for.
“Becoming a workaholic again, Mr. Cross?” he asked, almost in a snarky tone as he removed his overcoat and tried to hand it to me.
“What do you mean, Ben?” I didn’t even bother to call him ‘Mr. Murphy.’ He wasn’t polite enough to wait until I beckoned him, so I sure as hell wasn’t going to be formal enough to call him by his last name.
But to say that I wasn’t amused by him and his actions would have been a lie. I was definitely amused.
“I just want to cut to the chase,” he said, dryly. “Are you going to let me come in?”
“You already came in.” I laughed, not even bothering to pretend to be professional.
“I mean to have a seat,” he said.
I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell he was doing in my office — and not only in my office, but in my office and giving me attitude. It definitely took balls. I hadn’t known Ben had any.
“Well, come on in, Ben, and don’t forget to take a seat.” I kept my voice low. If he was on the rampage, I wasn’t going to give him the benefit of a childish reaction, although I did make a silly gesture toward one of the chairs, as if I were really excited to see him. Sarcasm through gestures—it was one of my specialties.
“Thanks for meeting with me,” he said as he made his way toward the chair. He’d calmed down, and now acted like nothing was out of the ordinary.
“Of course,” I said. Two could play this game. If he wanted to pretend everything was fine, then I could, too. I sat at the edge of my desk, directly in front of where he sat. I liked that my body was above his. It made him look even smaller than normal.
I looked through the interior glass window toward Janice, who was still glaring daggers at Ben. She didn’t like when people didn’t listen to her, and she sure as hell didn’t like when people “put her job in jeopardy.” Not that it was in jeopardy, but it was always what she worried about when things didn’t go to plan, or if routines or procedures were ignored.
I watched as he moved forward in his seat so that he was leaning toward me. Although he was no longer shouting at me or my employees, his body language still looked aggressive. I didn’t want to show that I was bothered by it, so I settled more against my desk like I was comfortable.
“Now, to business,” I said. “Let’s talk about why you’re barging into my office like a lunatic. It’s a rather early start, so tell me what’s going on.” I knew my face was stern. It was an expression I’d practiced in the mirror from a young age; it was my best attempt at a John Cross intimidation.
“You got me there,” he said, quite seriously. “It is an early start.” He leaned closer to me. It was too close for comfort, and his face looked almost menacing. “I think you should just drop this lawsuit.”
I shifted on top of my desk so that I was a little further away from him, and his head wasn’t so close to my package. He was here about the case? What the hell for? Given that he’d made the same request multiple times over the past week, I wondered why he was here. The request couldn’t have waited, or better yet, he couldn’t have sent the request to drop the lawsuit via email? Messenger pigeon? Smoke signal? Nothing really explained his presence in my office.
“I hate all these meetings,” he continued. “They’re using up our legal resources, and they waste time. I hate how all the customers and people within this community are always full of so many opinions and accusations because of the slander this lawsuit has created. I hate it all.”
He definitely had a point. I’d been feeling the same way.
Ben stood and walked over to the side of my desk. Now we were on the same side, and I wondered if some sort of negotiation wizard had taught him that trick. He stared down at my cup of coffee.
“Mind if I have some coffee? I haven’t had my morning coffee, yet.”
“Sure,” I said, not really sure how else to respond. It was a strange request—coming in here, metaphorical guns blazing, and then asking for coffee. I pressed the intercom and requested some coffee for Ben.
A few minutes later, Janice waltzed in with a cup. I wondered if she’d spit in it, but she had a strange look on her face—almost as if she felt hopeful about this meeting. She handed the cup to Ben, who mumbled a thank-you, and returned to her post outside my office. Even though the whole process only took a couple of seconds, it felt like an eternity of quiet. I wanted to know how he thought this conversation was going to go.
“You know, Janice really makes the best coffee,” he said. “Don’t ever get rid of her.” There was a smug look on his face. It reminded me of one that I wore whenever I was about to negotiate something. It made sense, since that’s what he was trying to do.
“Yeah, and she does every other aspect of her job perfectly. But you’re not here to talk about Janice,” I said, returning to the edge of my desk.
Nodding, he said, “As you know, we — and our legal team — have come across a bit of evidence that really incriminates MTS as being the ones who stole the patent in question.” He took a sip of coffee, and sighed. “I mean, I’ve known my dad was telling the truth the whole time, and when I got this evidence, I’ll admit, I was actually a little excited that I could shove it in your face.” he started. “But then came this new development with Kate…”
Ding ding ding. I knew that’s what all this was about.
“I’m just tired of all the bad blood,” he said, causing me to listen even more intently. “Frankly, I think we all need to grow up and end this petty rivalry that our fathers started. Our resources—yours and mine—are being wasted in something completely useless. We didn’t steal the patent. That’s all there is to it. We now have proof of that. So here’s your bone, Fido. Take it.”
I leaned back on my hands and glanced up at the ceiling. I’d assumed he wanted to beat me up for dating his sister, but apparently not—he really wanted to end the lawsuit. The more he spoke, the more I started to believe him. He was tired of the bullshit, just like I was.
“We have another lawsuit that needs to free up my legal team, and you need to save face for your late father’s sake,” he said. “It’s a win, win.”
I knew he had a point. If there really was evidence that my dad was as shady as I’d hated to suspect, then I knew it would ruin our reputation, and a lot of our longstanding customers would begin to distrust us.
“So how about it. Let’s settle?” he asked. Although it was a question that was relatively innocent in nature, it sounded like it was loaded. Loaded with what, I wasn’t sure. But loaded, nonetheless.
“Let’s put all the bullshit behind us,” he continued. “It’ll be so much better for both parties involved. Even though, I’ll admit, I was really looking forward to showing everyone how wrong MTS really was, and gaining our good name back. I’d wanted to prove to the world that this huge, ridiculous scandal was all bullshit, and that it wasn’t our fault.”
He rounded the desk and set the cup down right next to my hand.
“I’m just willing to give that up for peace’s sake,” he whispered as he leaned in and winked.
“You’re right,” I couldn’t help but say aloud. He was.
The whole lawsuit really was nonsense. Bullshit. Useless.
I’d known that from the beginning, but even more now that Ben had voiced it — that this all really was just our fathers’ pissing contest. It was stupid.
I couldn’t help but wonder something, though. Was this Michael’s olive branch? Did he want Kate to be happy? I’d assumed she told him. Was his daughter’s happiness really worth more than his hidden win in the shadows? Because I knew Michael Murphy, and normally, he’d be screaming out on the rooftops just how much of a “lying snake” my father had been.
But now it seemed like he was perfectly fine keeping it quiet. Hell, even keeping his own innocence quiet.
I smiled and took a deep breath. I knew my eyes were probably glazing over as soon as my mind drifted to Kate. I was lost in her. It was almost like I could smell her in that instance.
I started to feel an excitement that I hadn’t yet let myself feel because I was so worried about how it was all going to play out. With work. With her family. With me. With everything. But if Ben was extending this act of good will, maybe things could actually work out.
“But there’s one contingency,” he said with a smile.
I sighed. Of course there had to be a catch. “Yeah? What is it?”
He lowered his voice to a growl. “This is all void if you don’t stop seeing my sister.”
My stomach dropped, and my mouth fell open in shock.
His act of good will was contingent on his sister’s personal relationship with me? It was fucking wrong. I was beyond pissed, as I felt my blood begin to heat up in my veins. I couldn’t believe Ben would mix business and personal life like this.
“You’re a rat bastard, if you’re going to bring Kate’s life into the business,” I said. “Mixing professional qualms with personal ones will get you nowhere in business. You have to separate your worlds.” I was honest, I had to give myself that. Truthfully, I should have bit my tongue for fear that he would ruin me. But I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to suck up for someone like Ben.
“Well, Mr. Cross, you decided not to separate the worlds,” he said. “You decided to bring it all together, into one big knotted mess.”
“No. I fell for a beautiful woman in a coffee shop. This had nothing to do with you or your shithead father.”
“Name calling isn’t going to change my mind, Ian,” he warned.
I laughed, mockingly. “You sound like you’re warning me, and you’re the idiot in my office.”
“What’s your answer?”
“You’re really going to do this?” I scoffed, with a hint of laughter underneath.
He didn’t say anything. He just stood there, arms crossed over his chest, and I could tell he was waiting on an answer.
The little fucker was trying to back me into a corner. There was no way that I was giving him an answer without talking to Kate.
I smirked and held the bridge of my nose, trying to wrap my head around what was going on. I wasn’t sure why I was so surprised. I dealt with backstabbing douchebags all day, every day. But I never would have thought Ben would have given me an ultimatum. If I hadn’t been so pissed off, I might have been impressed.
“Did Michael put you up to this?” I asked. “Of course he did.”
“My dad had nothing to do with this,” he said. “He only told me that you and Kate had been seeing each other, and that he wasn’t happy about it. So it was my idea to drop the lawsuit and let all of this go. So give me your answer.”
I couldn’t believe how Ben was behaving. This was completely opposite of the Ben I thought I’d known.
I couldn’t help but think about the impact the lawsuit had on me — my company — and what it had done to my dad.
He gave a short laugh and continued, “We have a lot on MTS, and I know this ‘means a lot to you’ because it meant a lot to your old man, to screw over BioResearch, but I’m really throwing you a bone by offering to let everything go.”
He was still talking, and talking about bones only made me want to beat him over the head with one, shove one down his throat, and feed him to a dog.
“It’s a bone that you didn’t want to throw to us, so you should be happy that I’m not the type to hold onto grudges.”
And there was that bone talk all over again. That little son of a bitch. He really thought he had the upper hand right now?
“You okay, Ian?” he asked. “You look a little tired.”
I didn’t answer. I knew he didn’t care how I felt, just as long as I stayed away from his sister. He was baiting me, trying to piss me off. He had to be. Because he was getting dangerously close to my face, and I was about to snap. I’d listened to him for his whole spiel and I wasn’t impressed.
“Are you sure Michael didn’t put you up to this shit?” I asked.
“I assure you, he did not.” His eyes flashed in annoyance. “So what’s your answer?”
I still couldn’t give him one. I needed to speak with Kate before anything else.
“No matter what you think,” he said, “even if you guys survive the long-distance — there’s always going to be family tension. Even if she isn’t part of the company,” he said, walking around me like a vulture circling dying prey.
I sniffed, trying to pretend like he wasn’t getting to me.
He said, “She’ll end up in the middle of all of this. And you know this world better than I do. People get hurt. She’s going to get hurt.”
He leaned into me once again, so close that I could smell his aftershave. I wanted to punch the scent right off his smug face. I stood up, quickly, balled my fists, but then he spoke — gently, in a small whisper.
“Do you want that, Ian?” he asked. “Do you want her to get hurt?”
I sat back down, slowly, my legs suddenly weak as adrenaline raced through my entire body. I was shaking like a fucking leaf. But I knew that he was right.
The internal conflict was painful. Business or happiness. Business or happiness. Because apparently I couldn’t have both. I cleared my throat and opened my mouth to speak. Only no words came out. I honestly didn’t even know what I was going to say until I said it. “Okay,” I managed. “Okay.”