CHAPTER 30
GRACE

I was heartbroken. It had been a week since the robbery and I was already back at work. I needed something to distract myself from everything. From the physical pain I still felt, the betrayal that still made me angry, and the emptiness at not having Ryan around. I knew he was a criminal, but I also knew he was capable of so much more. He proved that to me when he came running after me to save my life. He proved that to me when he told me to be strong and to help raise our child and help with Jason. He trusted me, and I had trusted him.

It wasn’t as easy to let go of as I thought it would be.

But I was failing to hold myself together. I cried myself to sleep every night and woke up with nightmares clouding my vision. I couldn’t suck down coffee to wake myself up and seeing Harper’s smiling face every morning wasn’t the usual pick-me-up it used to be. Whenever I looked at her I saw the memories of Ryan playing with her. I saw the dollhouse and the slide in the park and the swinging on the swing set.

Everywhere I looked, I saw him.

“Knock-knock.”

Lionel’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.

“You know you don’t have to be back at work today if you’re not up to it,” he said.

“I need the distraction,” I said.

“Well I can’t have you distracted at your distraction.”

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” I said.

Instead of leaving, Lionel cocked his hip onto the edge of my desk. Great. What the hell did this man want? I looked up into his eyes and found concern written all over his features, and it settled a part of my soul.

Until he leaned in and tried to kiss me.

Before I could catch my actions, I cracked my hand across his cheek. The sound was so loud that people from the lobby whipped their heads around to see what was going on. I stood from my chair and gathered my things, trembling from the adrenaline of what I’d just done.

“I don’t know what it’s going to take for you to understand that I am not, and never will be, interested in you. You have used your position to flirt with me, to antagonize me, and now to try and kiss me. Lionel, you’re a pig and I’m reporting you to Human Resources.”

I marched out of my office as the entire bank stood there in shock. I felt emotion filling my aching rib cage as I whipped around on my heels. I couldn't take this job any longer. I didn't know what I was going to do for money and I didn't know who was going to hire me after slapping my boss, but I would figure it out. I always found a way to figure things out, and I had to trust myself.

If nothing else, I had to trust myself.

Lionel was rubbing his cheek as fire filled his eyes. He stormed out of my office and walked right up to me. He put his finger in my face with everyone looking at us, and I waited to see what he would do.

“What? Are you going to tell me my ‘pretty little face’ needs to be put in its place?”

His nostrils were flaring as I stood my ground.

“I quit,” I said.

I heard gasps and murmurs as I pushed out of the bank. I knew I was still emotional from everything that had happened, but I couldn't work there another second. It wasn’t safe. My boss wasn’t safe, my office wasn’t safe, and that lobby wasn’t safe. And I knew I had Ryan to partially blame for that.

I was shaking as I walked toward my car, and terrified of the future. Ryan was going to jail and I would be raising not two, but three children on my own. I had no job. I had no job prospects. I would be lucky if I could find a waitressing job that would work with my schedule. There was a chance I could find a job at the grocery store my mother worked at. But that meant literally being her subordinate.

Tears were threatening to spill over as I tossed my purse onto the passenger seat.

I fell into my car and put my face in my hands. What was I going to do? How was I going to get through all of this? I couldn't expect my mother to take on my financial burdens. I couldn't expect Amy to step up and help me out of something like this. And the one man I thought I was going to be able to rely on was no behind bars for fuck even knew how many years!

Lifting my tear-stained face, I stared across the road.

There was a man sitting on a bench, staring back at me. I wiped the tears from my eyes and when his face came into view I felt my heart stop. As I got out of my car, my eyes were blinking rapidly, trying to correct what I was seeing.

Ryan was sitting across the street.

How was that possible? He was supposed to be in jail being held until trial, or however the hell that stuff worked. I took a step through the shrubbery and stood alongside the road, waiting as lines of cars passed me by.

But my eyes weren’t deceiving me.

It really was Ryan.

He stood from the bench as I jogged across the road. I walked up to him, his eyes locked onto mine. I rose my hand up and cupped his cheek, my thumb running over his skin.

“How—how are you here?”

“They let me go,” Ryan said.

His hand rose to settle over mine and a comforting heat blanketed my body.

“How is that possible?” I asked breathlessly.

“Apparently, I have marketable skills the FBI wants to leverage.”

“What?” I asked.

“When I was in holding, a man came to visit me. A Supervisory Special Agent who works with the FBI. He offered me a job.”

“He what?” I asked.

“Yeah. That was my reaction.”

My hand fell from his face and he took it within his.

“They’ve hired me on for a full-time position working with the FBI to catch men like me. Men who code on levels most coders can’t. They want me to help them strengthen the security of financial institutions and train men coming into the field to track people like me.”

“That’s—that’s incredible, Ryan.”

“I took the job in exchange for serving no time, but the job isn’t here.”

“Where is it?” I asked.

“D.C.”

I felt my heart drop to my toes as I slid my hand away from his.

“Grace, I will completely understand if you never forgive me. What I did was awful, and the danger it put you and our child in—”

I watched him swallow hard as my eyes filled with tears.

“I wanted to give you something.”

He fumbled with something behind his back before he showed me a book.

“What is this?” I asked.

“It’s a first-edition children’s book,” Ryan said.

My eyes widened as I took in the title of the book.

“Ryan, this is—”

“One of your stories, I know. Before all of this blew up, I thought of a wonderful birthday present for Harper. I went to Amy and asked her for one of your stories so I could turn it into a real book for her.”

I ran my hand across the golden title as a tear fell from my cheek.

“The Single Mom With A Single Swan,” I said breathlessly.

“Harper won’t be a single swan any longer, but the moral of the story still fits,” Ryan said.

“This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

“It’s the absolute least of what you deserve,” he said. “Grace, you have an incredible talent for storytelling and for communicating with children. Use that talent to provide for our child. And I’ll help in any way I can.”

“Who did the illustrations?” I asked, still flipping through the book in disbelief.

I looked up into Ryan’s eyes as a grin spread across his cheeks.

“I may have sketched out a few things to go along with the storyline.”

“They’re incredible, Ryan. It’s—it’s perfect.”

“You're perfect,” he said. “Which is how I know our child is going to be okay.”

I held the book close to my chest and drew a deep breath through my nose.

“Whatever it is you need from me, you’ll have.”

“I have no idea how I feel right now. I can’t even begin to answer that question.”

“I know, and that’s fine,” he said. I nodded my head and looked into his eyes.

“There’s a slip of paper tucked in the back of the book. It’s got my number as well as my work email address. I don’t have a physical location yet, but when I have that address for you I’ll send it.”

“Okay,” I said, trying to process everything. “Yeah. Okay. Is Jason going with you?”

“He is. He’s going to try and place out of high school early so he doesn’t have to switch schools again, but he’s excited.”

“That’s good,” I said.

“How are you feeling physically?” he asked.

“Good. I mean, my ribs hurt. But my head’s okay. Sort of.”

“And the baby?”

Was this what we had been reduced to? Awkward small talk? After everything that had transpired and everything we had indulged in? After he had captured my heart and soul for the second time in my fucking life?

I was overwhelmed. Part of me wanted to kiss and make up. To beg him to stay or tell him I was going with him. Yet part of me wanted to slap him. To curse the day I’d met him and spit at his feet. My mind was swirling and it felt like the world had tilted. But a warm sensation on my lips rooted me back into reality.

It was short. And sweet. And I wanted so much more of it.

Without another word spoken, I watched him walk away. He got into his car as sadness settled itself over my heart. My tears were choking my throat, preventing me from calling out to him and telling him to come back. I watched him look back at me one last time, like he was trying to commit me to memory.

Then he ducked into his car and drove off.

I stood there, the book clutched to my chest as tears freely poured down my face. I stood there and watched his car, hoping he would turn around and come back. Hoping he would come and scoop me in his arms and press his lips against mine again and tell me I was coming with him. Or that he could find a way to stay so we could be a family.

But I watched him fade off into the distance, my body shaking in the wind.

Turning to look at my car, I started walking across the road. I was in such a daze that cars were honking at me to try and snap me out of it. Or maybe I was simply in their way. I opened my car door, still clutching the book to my chest as I stepped in.

Then I leaned my forehead against my steering wheel and sobbed.