CHAPTER 29
EVAN
As happy as I was that Melanie was back in the house, I still found myself wishing she would open up to me. I woke up with her in my arms, right where I knew she needed to be, and I tried to think of all the things that could’ve happened to her. Maybe she’d had her heart broken, or a lover had died. Maybe she had been in a terrible accident like my brother had been and she was the only survivor. Maybe someone had hurt her, and that thought alone boiled my blood.
I was falling in love with her, and I would protect her from anything and everything I could. But I had to know what exactly that was. I felt that something had shifted the night before. Her need to be on top signaled a need to be in control but, the previous night, she had finally let me be the one calling the shots. I couldn’t help but feel that it was progress of some sort.
It bothered me that she knew about my past, but I didn’t know hers. It bothered me that she knew how broken I was, but she couldn’t trust me with how broken she was. Didn’t she understand that I would get it? I knew she was scared that I’d see her as damaged goods. That had been my fear in the beginning as well. But I knew she could never look at me like that. She wasn’t capable of it.
Didn’t she understand I wasn’t capable of it, either?
I ran my fingers through her hair as the sun began to rise above the trees. The kids were still sleeping and I groaned at the thought. I was hoping Liam hadn’t gotten Hadley sick because if he did that meant I’d have to travel into town to get them to a doctor. I couldn’t let something like that stick around in the house too long. Otherwise, we’d all get sick.
But I was enjoying the time with Melanie, even if she was still asleep.
I wondered if I should tell her how I felt. Maybe if she knew I was falling in love with her, she would tell me. She would finally tear down those walls and let me in. I didn’t want to be someone who had to roll a boulder down a hill to get her to open the door. I wanted her to open it on her own like I had done with her.
But I just didn’t know what would prompt her to open that damn door, and I was scared I’d push her away again.
Melanie began to stir on my chest and the sight brought a smile to my face. Her hair was tangled and mussed, still smelling of our adventures from last night. She groaned and stretched, her body cracking and warming up after a long night’s rest.
Then she looked up at me with her beautiful sleepy eyes and smiled.
“Morning,” she said.
“Morning, beautiful.”
I raised her up to me and brought a kiss down on her lips. She tasted like warmth and my cock, a combination I knew I could get used to if she stuck around long enough. I pulled her on top of me and she started giggling, her legs straddling my hips as my morning wood pressed against her ass.
“Someone’s ready to go another round,” she said.
But before we could get anything started, Hadley started crying in her crib.
“You get ready for work,” she said. “I’ve got the kids.”
I watched Melanie get up and quickly shower and get dressed before she blew me a kiss. I did what she asked and got ready for work, kissing the kids and the top of her head before I left. I had some work in town I needed to do that required me to pick up some wood and drop off some projects. I was ready to put a little more money into the bank and then I made a quick trip to the pharmacy to get the kids some things they would need to help them feel better.
Medicine, more soup, and popsicles.
As I made my way back up to the cabin, I made up my mind. I was going to tell her how I felt about her. I was going to let her know how valuable she’d become to this mismatched family of mine, and how I wasn’t going to let her go easily. I was going to tell her I was falling in love with her and that I hadn’t felt this way about someone in a very long time.
Then, I hoped she would talk to me about what was plaguing her mind.
I unloaded the wood into my shed then walked into the cabin and found that it was silent. The kids weren’t running around and Melanie wasn’t cooking in the kitchen. I set the bags of things down I’d gotten from the pharmacy and shrugged off my coat, my senses on high alert. Melanie’s car was still outside and nothing looked to be out of place. The cabin was clean, nothing seemed to be broken.
So where was everyone?”
“Evan! You’re home.”
Melanie was whispering down the hallway as she strode toward me for a hug.
“Hey there,” I said as I wrapped her in my arms. “Are the kids still sleeping?”
“Yeah. Hadley’s not feeling well either. I couldn’t get laundry done before you got back, so I’ll do that tonight.”
“Don’t worry about it. How are you feeling?” I asked.
“Fine. Do you know if they have any allergies?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Well, people do have winter allergies sometimes. Because the air’s so dry and their body reacts funny to it. I found a humidifier buried in the hallway closet, so I’ve got it going in Hadley’s room,” she said.
“Should I run out and get one for Liam?”
“I actually put him in the shower with me,” she said.
I quirked an eyebrow at her statement and she giggled.
“I was wearing a long shirt. Which reminds me, one of your shirts is hanging out to dry in your room.”
“Ah, gotcha,” I said.
“I steamed his sinuses open and he coughed up a lot of stuff before I put him to bed. He’s not happy with me for suctioning out his nose, but he’ll get over it.”
“Sounds like you’ve got it covered.”
“For the most part. How was town?” she asked.
“Same old, same old. I got some medicine and more soup and popsicles for the kids. And I unloaded more wood into the—out back.”
Melanie looked at me with a hesitant stare before she nodded.
“I’m glad you had a productive day,” she said.
“Melanie, there’s something I need to tell you.”
I took her hand and led her over to the couch before I sat us both down.
She smiled at me before she scooted into the crook of my body.
“You know, before you showed up on my porch, I was content to while away my years alone in this cabin. Well, with the kids, of course.”
She shifted and looked up at me. “What are you saying?”
I sighed. “I didn’t just move up here to try and escape my drug addiction. I moved here because I had resigned myself to never falling in love again; to never needing anyone again. After Elise left me, I figured that was it: my one chance to be happy. Then, when the kids came to live with me after my brother died, I knew that I couldn’t bring just anyone around them. I had decided to remain alone.”
“And I showed up and threw a big old monkey wrench into that plan, didn’t I?” she asked.
“You did. At first, I have to admit, I couldn’t wait for the snow to melt enough for you to get the hell out of here and leave me to my self-imposed exile, but then it did melt and I didn’t want you to go.”
She looked up at me sweetly and my heart sang.
“I know you have a hard time trusting people, and I need you to know that I understand. I get it. I haven’t trusted anyone until you came along. With your sassy little attitude and that cute little giggle of yours.”
I looked down and watched her cheeks fill with a healthy flush.
“What I’m trying to say, Melanie, is that I want you to let me in.”
I felt her stiffen and pull away before I reached out and grabbed her hand.
“Look at me,” I said.
She slowly turned her fearful gaze toward me, but she didn’t make a move to run.
“I’m falling in love with you,” I said.
“What?” she asked breathlessly.
“I’m falling in love with you, and all I want you to do is let me in. That’s all I’m asking. You don’t have to love me back right now—or even love me back ever. But I trust you. And I know after last night that you trust me, too. All I’m asking is that you let me in. That you try.”
I watched tears rise to her eyes before her breaths started becoming shorter. Her eyes flickered around the room before they settled on the door, and I knew what she was thinking. She was feeling cornered again and her flight response was kicking in. If I didn’t find a way to diffuse the situation, I might lose her forever.
“I’m not trying to corner you, Melanie,” I said. “I’m trying to get you to see that you can talk to me. That it’s okay. That I understand. Melanie, look at me.”
Her trembling body stayed seated next to me even though her hand slipped from mine.
“You are not damaged goods,” I said.
The shocked look that rolled across her face told me everything I needed to know. Tears spilled down her cheeks and I reached out, catching them with my thumb as they ran across the apple of her cheeks. She was violently shaking, not from being cold or frightened. But from hearing the words she’d longed to hear for so many years of her life.
“You are not damaged goods,” I said again.
I watched the dam break and held her as she shook and cried in my arms. I brushed her hair back from her forehead and just kept repeating that she was safe. Finally, her sobs calmed and her breathing returned to normal. She sat back and looked at me, her beautiful face streaked with tears and her vibrant blue eyes rimmed with red.
“Okay,” she said. “I’m ready.”