Part of me wanted to wallow in my misery the whole weekend through, but I’d done that last weekend and I just wanted my family at that point. I wanted to laugh at their stories even if it hurt, because maybe for a moment in time, I’d forget the pain taking up residence inside me. I needed to remind myself that everything I needed was here in Cincinnati.

Jolene and I had had a girls’ night and stuffed our faces with Cincinnati-style pizza and Grater’s ice cream, which made me a little sad. I’d had Grater’s for the first time with Shane, the same night I’d fallen in love with him. However, when Jo saw my frown, she insisted we make new memories to go with the glorious-ness that was Grater’s. We’d danced with pints and spoons in our hands and passed out watching rom-coms.

When Sunday rolled around, I walked into King’s late since the customary construction traffic seemed to have been even worse today. I opened the door with an energy I didn’t possess, and a smile on my face, even if it was a little forced. Fake it until you make it, right? Luella and Evie greeted me with forced smiles of their own, and Jameson just stared from behind the bar. I stumbled over my feet a little, taking in their concerned faces. I fought off the furrowing of my brow and smiled even harder, refusing to let their worried expressions bring me down. I shrugged off my purse and walked to the table.

“Hey ladies.” I said with fake happiness in my tone, but it faded off when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jack appear from the back hallway, head bent as he listened to Hudson.

Hudson.

Fucking Hudson.

My eyes widened and I clamped my jaw shut to prevent it from hitting the floor. Jack looked pissed, which pissed me off because I could only imagine what the hell Hudson was spewing to him.

Catching Hudson’s eyes, I was met with a victorious glint. The jealous little weasel was using my family against me, and I wanted to make him choke on his balls. Fuck him. He didn’t get to come here and mess with my life. I opened my mouth and raised my hand, preparing to stomp over and lay into him good when the door opened behind me.

Jack’s concerned scowl morphed into a murderous glare, and I didn’t need to turn to see who stood behind me. Jack’s fists clenched as tight as his jaw, and he began taking long strides to the man behind me.

“You son of a bitch,” Jack growled out the words.

Jameson stepped out from behind the bar and intercepted Jack, holding him back. “No fighting in my bar.”

Jack didn’t even acknowledge him as he strained against Jameson’s arms. “You fucked my sister.” He roared it so loud, I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone on the block heard.

“Jack,” I said. I didn’t know what the hell I wanted. For him to shut up? For him to never ever say anything about me being fucked again? For Shane to leave? What the hell was he doing here, anyway? Did he want to torture me more?

I really just wanted to feel like I had control of the situation, of my life.

“Look man . . .” Shane started and his voice sent chills down my spine. I hated myself for feeling anything from his voice.

“In a fucking alley, like she’s one of the random whores you screw around with.”

Shane didn’t even try to defend himself. “Jack, I’m sorry.”

“Go, Juliana.” Evie muttered beneath her breath at the table, but still loud enough to hear.

“Shut the fuck up, Evie.” Jack didn’t even look at her as he snapped his words.

“Watch your mouth, Jack,” Jameson warned, his arm tightening around Jack more forcefully.

Jack was too far gone to acknowledge his mistake, too focused on Shane. “You’re like my brother. I trusted you. Just so you could screw my baby sister.”

“Enough,” I shouted. I was done being talked about like a child who wasn’t there. “I’m a big girl, Jack. I can make my own decisions, and you need to calm down.”

“Calm down? He degraded you. Used you.”

“Stop it!” The situation was spiraling downhill, faster than I could control it. I still hadn’t turned to look at Shane, but I could feel him. And Jack’s rage was another living being in the room, trying to break free of Jameson and unleash hell on Shane. “You’re exaggerating, and you need to get it together,” I said, pointing at him before turning my finger to Hudson, who was leaning against the wall like it was some free show. “And you’re a fucking, conniving dick.”

“Well that conniving dick—who was looking out for you—came to me after finding you crying last night. Shane is why you’ve been so depressed lately,” Jack said. It wasn’t a question. He was beyond any of my input. “So not only did he fuck you, but he hurt you by throwing you away. It’s what he does.”

“It’s not what-” Shane tried to defend himself.

“It is. I’ve watched you since I’ve known you use one woman after the next.”

“It’s not like-”

“And now you’ve moved on to my sister.”

“Jack, I-”

“I trusted you. You were my brother.”

“I am your brother. It’s not-”

“You used her like a-”

“I love her!” Shane roared.

The room fell silent at his proclamation. The words rattled around in my head and my heart beat too hard, unsure what to feel. My stomach churned as I tried to process it all. Evie and Luella gaped at each other. I blinked over and over trying to prevent the tears from burning the backs of my eyes.

I slowly turned, finally looking at Shane. He looked exhausted. Dark circles bruised under his bloodshot eyes. His shoulders dropped as his mouth opened and closed, searching for words.

“You what?” I whispered.

“I . . .I didn’t mean . . .Shit, Juliana. I didn’t-”

I stomped forward until I stood right in front of him, jaw clenched, shock and anger fueling the blood in my veins.

“What? You didn’t mean it?” I jabbed him in the chest. “You just wanted to try and salvage your family with whatever means necessary?”

“No. Jules, I didn’t-”

“Then why? Why?” I could barely form any other words. My throat was closing over the lump trying to escape.

His cheeks were red and he looked more unsure than I’d ever seen him. Stuttering over his words, starting sentence after sentence, but finishing none of them. Part of me wanted to let him off the hook, but my emotions raged so high after the stress of everything. The angry words thrown back and forth, Hudson coming to me Friday night, Hudson standing there after spilling my life to my brother. I was too pissed.

“I’ve missed you.” His words were soft, spoken only to me and it was the first bit of hurt to break past the anger, bringing a tear with it. But the hurt just added fire to the anger and I lashed out.

“Missed me? Like you missed me Friday night? Missed my moans when you’re inside me? My skin, my lips, my taste?” I ignored Jack’s growl as I threw Shane’s words back in his face from Friday.

“Juliana.” He said my name like a plea, filled with hurt. “No.”

“No? Then what is it about me that you miss?” I needed him to tell me he missed me as a human being, as someone who shared moments with him. Not just a body he missed fucking. I needed him to do more than stand before me, looking miserable. I needed words.

“I . . .I miss . . .” He looked around the room as he rubbed a hand over his hair to squeeze the back of his neck.

“You don’t even know. You can’t even say it.” I wiped at the stray tears falling down my cheek and hardened my voice. “You don’t love me. Someone who loved me wouldn’t leave me feeling so miserable over and over. Reject my love again and again. They wouldn’t say the things you’ve said to me, telling me I’m not worth the risk. You don’t even know what love is.”

I pushed past him and dodged to avoid his hand reaching out. Grabbing my purse, I ignored the scuffle of sound behind me. I ignored the sound of skin hitting skin as I tore open the door and made my escape.