Pastel pink macarons, and crystal chandeliers. I love this place. It’s a tiny shop and the treats are too damn expensive for what they are, but it’s the vibe I love. I scoot my silver stool closer to the small round table and peel the cupcake wrapper as I listen to Suzette.

“I just want to know every last detail,” she says with barely contained joy. Kat looks between the two of us and hasn’t touched a thing on the etched tray in the center of the table. I know there’s something there that would make her smile, but she’s not interested.

I can feel both sets of their eyes on me, but I don’t look up. It’s too pretty in this little shop to feel this damn anxious. My eyes settle on the tall crystal flute of pink champagne and I take a quick sip, tilting my head up to look at the carved tin ceiling. Everything in here is pink, silver, shiny and new. So pretty to look at, but useless in saving Kat’s attitude.

“How could you not tell us?” she says, and her voice is low. She’s still standing, her purse on the stool and I don’t think she has any intention of sitting down in the least. She’s pissed. “That’s what I really don’t get.”

Her eyes are boring into me, and the disappointment in her voice makes my appetite for all things sweet and scrumptious vanish.

I knew this was coming. You can’t just take off from Katerina Thompson and not have her chew you out later.

“It wasn’t meant as an insult,” I start to answer her. It’s not like I was trying to upset her, and she should at least know that for a fact.

“It’s because you would have stopped her,” Sue says before shoving half of a tiny cupcake into her mouth and biting it right down the middle. She has no shame and gives Kat the answer as if it’s obvious. And I mean, come on, it is.

“No shit I would have stopped her.” Her wrath is directed at Sue now, and to be honest, I’m grateful. Sue doesn’t give a fuck. Literally, not a single fuck given. She stares Kat right in the eyes as she pushes the other half of the cupcake into her mouth with her pointer.

“It’s not that I was really thinking,” I say. There’s a small plea in my voice for Kat to just calm down.

“Of course you weren’t,” Kat snaps but immediately looks like she wants to take it back.

“Oh hush,” Sue says easily and then nods at me. “Good for you for going out and dusting off those cobwebs.” I snort a small laugh, and my shoulders shake from it. “He’s cute, too.”

“He better be,” Kat says beneath her breath, pulling out a bottle of water from her oversized Michael Kors hobo bag.

Sue rolls her eyes as she asks, “You gonna track him down and beat the shit out of him if he isn’t?” A smile forces its way onto my face and I try my damnedest to make it go away, but it’s not happening. Kat glares at Sue for a moment before returning to her water and taking a sip.

“So, your first one-night stand... how does it feel?” Sue asks.

I could write a damn book on the shit I’m feeling right now. The guilt and regret, the anxiety. But the other things, the bit of liveliness and… is it pride? Is that what it is? Knowing that I was wanted and desired like that? And that he still wants me? Yeah, that’s a bit of pride, which is odd to be feeling over something like this.

“He texted me this morning,” I confess and sway a little in my seat, picking at the hem of the tablecloth. “He wants to go out tonight.”

Sue’s mouth drops open as her eyes go wide. “Really?” She grins in slow motion and then makes a face as she wipes her fingertips on her napkin.

“What’s that for?” I ask her.

Sue shrugs and replies, “Nothing.”

“That’s not a nothing look,” I tell her right back, “That’s a something look.”

“You must’ve been good.” Sue pops a piece of macaron into her mouth and smiles wide. The tiered tray was filled with an assortment when we got here, but it’s almost empty except for the big cupcakes now.

My mouth opens some, and I have to force it back shut. By the heat on my cheeks, I imagine I’m beet red. Yeah, it’s definitely pride.

“So what’d you tell him?” Kat asks.

I’m embarrassed that I said I was busy and then said yes to the exact time and location he said originally, so I just cut to the chase. “I said yes.”

“You said yes to a date for tonight that was asked today?” Kat asks in a tone that makes it seem like my answer could be the difference between life and death.

“I did,” I answer slowly as Sue claps her hands and leans her head back with laughter. She’s so loud that a few customers in line at the counter look over at her.

“I love her. This is just too good to be true.” Sue’s smile just gets bigger and bigger until she spots the last tiny cupcake.

“I don’t understand.” I look between the two of them to find out what I’ve done wrong.

“You never say yes to a date on the day of.” My lips purse as Kat crosses her arms and looks at me like I should know better.

“Well, I told him no at first.” That’s my only defense. And really, do I give a fuck?

“But then you said yes,” Kat clarifies, and I nod in return.

“I just wanted to go out.” That weird feeling in my chest comes back. The one that makes me feel like I’m sick. Like all of this is wrong and I should feel guilty about it.

“With a stranger!” It’s Kat this time that gets the attention of the customers, and between the two of them I wish I could just leave.

“Well, not quite,” Sue interrupts, “they did fuck.”

Kat grabs her head in her hands and looks down at the ground groaning, “Oh my God.”

Her response makes me feel like complete and utter shit. “Just leave me alone. Seriously,” I grumble and shove the tiny white plate away from me, hating that I feel like this. That my friends are making me feel like this. “I haven’t gone out in-” my throat gets tight, and my breathing picks up. I refuse to fucking cry right now, to cry over this shit. I won’t do it. I won’t be made to feel guilty about it either. Not more than I already do.

“I didn’t plan this, Kat.” I point at my chest for emphasis and stare into her green eyes. The only emotion in her expression is regret. “You don’t think I feel like…” I swallow the sharp lump in my throat and try to will away all the shit emotions.

“No, no,” Sue speaks up and gets off her stool to get closer to me. “Don’t get all upset over this.” She shakes her head as she tries to calm me down, but it’s not working.

“You too!” I yell at her, and I don’t even know why I yelled. Yes, the questions are irritating the fuck out of me, but at least Sue isn’t trying to make me feel like shit.

She raises both her hands defensively. “Hey, I’m not the one slut-shaming.”

Kat whips her head to Sue and says sharply, “It’s not slut-shaming.” Everyone in the entire fucking shop is looking at us at this point. “He could have been a murderer!” she practically shrieks.

“Oh, calm down!” Sue looks genuinely pissed. “She was safe. I knew where she was,” Sue talks more to Kat than me, “and she was fine.” She emphasizes the word "fine” then slips off her stool, grabbing her purse off the table. “I actually have to get back to the office.”

I take a sip of my champagne, but there’s practically nothing in it. Fucking figures.

“You have fun tonight,” Sue says with a wink, like the last five minutes didn’t happen. I give her a small smile back and kiss her cheek before she moves to the other side.

Maddie’s not coming to this little cupcake brunch, so it’s just me and Kat now. I don’t like the feeling that I need armor to have a quick chat with one of my closest friends. I bite the inside of my cheek as I watch Sue leave completely nonplussed, the bells above the door jingling as I shift on the stool.

I know Kat’s looking at me, waiting for me to say something. Why do I feel like I owe her an apology? I let out a quick breath and face her, my shoulders square and my heart out on my sleeve. It’s always there; that’s how I’ve always lived my life.

“Kat, look-”

“Nope,” she cuts me off and holds up her hand. “It’s fine. Last night was fine. Tonight is fine.” She nods her head once, moving the purse from on top of her stool to the one Sue was sitting on. She finally takes a seat, tugging her black pencil skirt down. Her white blouse is nearly see through, but she still looks professional. She always appears on top of everything.

I start to explain my position. “I know it upset you for me to leave and not tell you.” I lean forward, putting my hand closer to her on the table.

“I think I overreacted,” Kat says not looking at me at first, but then she lifts her eyes to mine. “It really is okay, and I’m not trying to make you feel bad.” Her words come out with sincerity, and it surprises me how much I needed that. “Or slut-shame you or anything like that.”

“Thank you,” I reply and my voice cracks some and I roll my eyes, looking for my glass, but again finding it empty. I run my fingertips down the stem, feeling overwhelmed with guilt even though Kat’s told me she’s not shaming me.

She isn't why I feel guilty.

“Am I a bad person?” I ask Kat, finally pulling my eyes from the empty flute to look at her.

“No,” she answers with sad eyes, taking my hand in both of hers.

“Honestly,” she hesitates and it makes me that much more nervous. “I’m surprised after everything that happened...”

You must really live in a shit world when your closest friend says “everything that happened” and you need clarification on which specific thing she’s talking about.

I’m quiet waiting for her to finish, but she doesn’t.

“Just tell me that he’s not going to make you miss your deadline.” Kat’s trying to ease the tension. She’s my editor, and this manuscript is due in two weeks.

A smile grows on my face, but it’s not genuine in the least. I know for a fact I’m going to miss that deadline. She doesn’t need to know that though. “He won’t.” I shake my head cheerfully, my hair swishing against my shoulders.

“Okay then,” she says and raises her brows and finally picks up a cupcake. Kat goes for a large cupcake with hot pink icing and an Oreo stuck in the center. “Please tell me you’re at least using condoms until you get back on the pill or something.”

I know she meant for that to be funny, but when I give her some side-eye and shrug, she practically chokes on that damn Oreo.