How long is long enough? I keep thinking it over and over again. As if I’m not a fucked up fraud for asking Jules to marry me.

It’s been two weeks of us falling perfectly into place. She’s still waiting for the other foot to drop. For this fantasy we’re living to crumble into pieces. I won’t let it though. I’ll give her everything she wants and that includes a ring, a sense of security that will seal us together and truly put our past behind us.

My eyes focus on the deep red petals scattered on every surface. I want her, and I don’t give a fuck about anything else anymore.

The only thing I give a damn about is making Jules mine in every way.

I don’t want her to tell me no. I can’t stand the thought of her turning me down or worse, if somehow just asking her to be my wife could push her away. It’s happened before, and I’m terrified to send her running again.

It doesn’t matter how fast she is though, how quickly she’ll turn me down and try to hide. I’ll find her, I’ll catch her and I’ll wait for her. Always.

I close the small, black velvet box, making the vision of the four-carat, cushion-cut diamond vanish and shove it into my pocket. Letting a heavy breath leave me, I turn and look at the living room. It’s fucking obvious. So damn obvious that I’m going to propose.

The second she walks in here and sees the crystal vases of deep red roses on every surface, she’s going to know what’s going on.

I can see her now, standing in the doorway, gripping onto the frame while her doe eyes go wide and she breathes in the floral scent. The lights are low and the tea lights are scattered around the room.

I’m not a romantic man by nature, but for her and for this... Hopefully for the start of our lives together, I can do romance. All for her. I’ll pretend to be someone else until both of us believe it.

At the sound of the doorknob turning, my heart skips in my chest, hammering harder than I anticipated. I take a step back, pulling the box from my pocket and preparing myself to get down on my knee. My blood heats, and anxiety suddenly washes through me. It’s really happening. I’m really going to ask her to marry me. The thought itself calms me.

Of course I am, I love her.

I run my hand through my hair and shift on my knee as she steps forward enough to come through the doors. I thought she’d be astonished by the sight of the room. I imagined her taking it all in, but she’s only looking at me.

“Julianna Lynn Summers, I would be honored-” I start, and already I’ve fucked up. I had this damn thing rehearsed. I thought I had this shit memorized, but having to look up at her and not knowing what she’s going to say fucked me up.

Jules covers her mouth with a gasp, letting the front door close shut slowly behind her. Her shoulders hunch forward some as her purse falls to the ground. I knew she’d be emotional; I just wish the shock would wane so I could see which side of her was winning out. The side that loves me and wants to live in the moment, or the side stuck in the past and afraid to move on.

Jules takes a few steps forward when I don’t continue, her thin heels clicking on the polished wood floors as she places her hands on my shoulders and starts to lower herself to the ground, but that’s not how I want her. I wrap an arm around her long legs and look up at her, still holding the ring out although she’s staring into my eyes.

“Jules, I love you and I want to spend every day of my life with you.” I hesitate to say the words, but I have to, even if she says she can’t. “I want you as my wife,” I say and watch her facial expression crumple with a hint of pain reflecting in her eyes as I say the words.

“I love you too, Mason,” she barely gets the words out as she covers her face with both of her hands and then wipes under her eyes. Her eyes are glassy with tears and her voice choked as she says it again. “I love you, and I didn’t know if I could …” Hearing her start her confession breaks my heart, and I get up off of my knee to hold her. She wraps her arms around me, squeezing me as though she needs me to stand. And in so many ways she does. She needs someone there, and I’ll always be that person for her.

So long as she’ll let me.

She pulls away slightly, trying to pull herself together as she brushes her hair out of her face and looks away, taking a calming breath, but that’s not the version of her I want.

“I want all of you Jules,” I tell her as I cup her chin in my hand and force her to look at me. “When you’re upset, I want to know so I can make you smile. When you’re angry, just tell me, and I’ll let you take it out on me however you need, then make you cum so hard you forget you ever felt anything other than bliss. I want the real you. Always. I never want you to hide from me.”

Those lush lips part and a soft breath escapes her as she stares into my eyes. She’s searching for something. She better not fucking wonder if everything I’ve just said is true or not.

“I want the same from you, Mason.” I’m surprised at her response. I stay still on the ground, wondering how she could think for a second I wouldn’t share all of me with her. Not my past. She doesn’t know shit about that, and she never will. None of it. I’m going to fix it all and keep it hidden in the shadows and buried deep where it all belongs.

She kneels on the floor in front of me and takes my jaw in both of her hands, planting a soft sweet kiss on my lips. Her touch calms all my worries. It rids the demons threatening to surface. She does this to me. She makes me a better person, and I desperately want to be that man for her.

She speaks with her eyes closed, her lips close to mine and her hot breath filling the air between us. Her long, thick lashes are damp with her tears as she tells me, “I love you for you. The good and the bad. And I do want to be with you, Mason.” Her voice is pained and I can’t help but reach up and hold her, pulling her closer to me. “I need you,” she whispers.

I kiss the crook of her neck. “All I need is your love.”

“You have it Mason, you have that and me and my life…”

She still has yet to answer; I need to hear her tell me yes. I want to be good enough to be her husband and if I’m not today, then tomorrow I’ll be better. I’m determined, and she needs to know that. I put my hands on her shoulders, brushing the fine lace of her blouse so I can look at her when I ask.

“I love you, Jules. Will you marry me?” I ask her, looking deep into her eyes.

She gives me a sweet smile, almost a shy one as she sniffles and finally gives me everything I need. “I love you, too. Yes.” Her words come out as if it’s obvious. As if it’s only natural.

I finally breathe a deep sigh of relief, heaving in the air and holding her close to me. I stand up, still carrying her and swing her in my arms as I rise.

I kiss up her neck and every inch of her exposed skin, making her let out a small, feminine laugh and push away from me slightly. This is the only kind of pushing I ever want her to do again. From this day forward, she’s mine.

I only set her down so I can pick up the ring from the box. I watch as Jules’ eyes widen once again. “Oh my gosh,” she says softly, eyeing the ring as though it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

“Do you like it?” I ask her as I slip the box into my pocket and hold the ring out for her.

She bites her bottom lip as she nods vigorously and says, “Mason, it’s beautiful.” Finally, she looks up at me as I slip my ring onto her finger. “I love it,” she whispers.

A small breath leaves her as she rubs her fingers over my five o’clock shadow and gently kisses me. I’ve never felt anything like what I feel for her. Seeing my ring on her finger makes it seem as though it’s all going to be alright.

As if the past will stay buried where it belongs.