I’ve never had a one-night stand before.

Not once.

It’s not like I’ve ever had a thing against them and Lord knows my friends enjoy them, with or without discretion. I’ve just never… it’s never happened. My body heats everywhere, one place a bit more than others.

My thoughts race as Mason wraps his hand around my waist and leads me to the front door. The chill in the night air is sobering. I can’t explain how anxiety is shooting through me. My breathing comes in a little faster now that the alcohol's all but worn off.

All I can think about is how even the pace of our footsteps are and how I’ve never done this before.

I’m doing it. I’m going to sleep with a stranger. I’m going to sleep with someone other than Jace.

Jace and I met as children, paired up in boarding school. I’ve never been with anyone else. I’m so sheltered, I always have been. I nearly have a panic attack at the thought and my shoe slips on the paved steps, nearly making me fall, but I catch myself.

Mason’s quick to grab onto my elbow and waist; his hands are hot on my body. It’s like a shock, as something violent inside of me reacts to his very touch. I instinctively pull away, only just then releasing a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding.

Eight months alone… even longer since I’ve been touched. Moving on has never been such a dominating thought, or so terrifying.

I wrap my arms around my chest, fueled by both fear and desire. My pulse quickens as I look back over my shoulder and towards his car. Towards an escape.

Mason straightens his shoulders, squaring them and hitting the keys against his leg once. The jingle catches my attention. It’s the only sound in the cold, dark night.

I stand frozen as I look into his eyes. I’m a fool for doing this. It’s not me. Not the woman I am today and not the woman I was before I lost my husband. Mason’s steel grey gaze searches my own and I feel lost all over again.

A wave of denial is running through me. He doesn’t want me. Why would he? What was I thinking?

I part my lips ready to give an excuse, a lie, or even the truth. Anything to just go back in time and avoid this disaster.

To run just like I’ve been doing for the past eight months. Didn’t I say I needed a change? I said I needed something drastic, but that was back when the alcohol was strong and we were surrounded by a crowd of people.

Mason is tempting, gorgeous, and confident. But I can’t handle a man like him. I can’t deal with a situation like this.

Weak and alone. A low whisper from the self-loathing bitch inside of me resonates in my ears. I slam my lips shut tight without uttering a word, hating that she’s right.

I won’t leave. I suck in a breath and force myself to be determined. Right or wrong, I don’t give a fuck.

A moment passes with the two of us just standing still in front of his porch. Only three, four-foot wide steps are between us and his deep navy front door. I just have to get there.

My eyes flicker from the door to Mason. My palms are growing sweaty and my blood heats as he takes a single step closer to me. It’s only one step, but with it is something powerful. His height, his scent, and his very dominance overwhelms me when he’s this close. He radiates desire and my mind may be having second thoughts, but my body is pulled to him, magnetized by his presence.

It’s calming. Shockingly so, as I let my body move forward, closing the small space between us. He trails a finger down my collarbone, lightly, testing my reaction.

“I want to touch you Jules,” he says softly, forcing my gaze back to his all-consuming stare. I hadn’t imagined it’d be this intense. Not in the bar and not in his Mercedes. He didn’t push, and he didn’t do anything to make me feel trapped. How odd, now that we’re out in the open with no locked doors and no enclosed in spaces, it’s only now that I feel cornered. All because of the way he looks at me.

What’s worse, what’s maddening and suffocating, is that I love it. I fucking want this. The way he looks at me is addicting; it’s freeing in more ways than one.

I can’t chicken out. I won’t.

I nod my head once, as his fingers trail up to my throat and his hand wraps around my neck, his light touch feeling much rougher than he’s being with me. I tilt my head, as his grip moves to my chin. He just barely brushes his lips against mine. It’s a soft kiss that leaves me wanting more. I keep my eyes closed, I stay as still as can be as he hovers them so close and whispers, “I want to kiss you.”

“Kiss me,” I whimper, a pathetic plea, or maybe one of strength. My head feels so clouded, it’s hard to know what’s driving me. Raw, primal instinct or desperation. Perhaps a lethal cocktail of both.

He pulls away just slightly, but I don’t let him get far. I take a half step closer to him, my breast brushing against his shirt and I crush my lips into his. I need him. I need this.

He’s quick to wrap his arms around me and pull my body up against his own. The faint noises of the night surround us and they seem to get louder as my breathing gets heavier. His lips travel down my throat and I throw my head back. It doesn’t escape me that we’re out in the open, but I find it too difficult to care. I may have been tipsy from the alcohol before, but in this moment, I’m drunk with lust.

“I want to fuck you, Jules.” Mason practically growls. He pulls me into him suddenly and forces a gasp from me as he nips my earlobe. “I want to make you cum so hard you forget everything.” I moan as his lips trail down my neck.

My nipples harden and my back arches as my pussy heats. “The only thing you need to remember is my name,” he whispers into my ear, his hands roaming further down my ass and waist until his bare skin touches mine. “Just my name and what I’ve done to you tonight.”

I title my head back and everything he’s saying is exactly what I need to hear. “Yes,” I whisper into the soft breeze that cools my exposed hot skin.

“Only tonight,” he whispers so low, I nearly miss it. My fingers slip under his shirt, so I can feel his bare skin too and it triggers him to pull away from me. Just slightly, only so he can look into my eyes, but I grip him harder. I’m afraid to lose what he’s offering me.

I want him. I want his promise.

I want to forget and feel alive again.

“Yes,” I whisper and then press my lips to his, moving a hand to the back of his head, my fingers spearing through his thick hair as his tongue strokes mine and he lifts me up into his arms by my ass.

I gasp from the sudden movement and wrap my legs around his waist. I can’t say no now. I can’t and won’t. He takes the opportunity to leave open-mouthed kisses down my neck and torture my deprived body.

Every doubt leaves me. All I need is to be held by this man. Fucked by him, and ruined by him.

I come alive for him, every nerve ending on fire, ready to burst into a flame so hot I can’t control myself. My fingers dig into his shoulders, my nails scratching along his shirt and wishing it were skin.

The pleasure is so intense already. It’s nearly too much. I want to pull away because the inevitable drop from this high is going to shatter me. I’m all too aware of it, but I can’t help myself.

He never stops kissing me as he balances me in one strong arm and unlocks the door. He never sets me down until he has me on his bed.

And he never gives me the chance to think about anything but the desire threatening to destroy me.

I bounce slightly on the bed and it throws me off balance, but I don’t have time to recover. He practically rips at my dress, desperate to have me bared to him. I reach behind me, unclasping my bra as he pulls the lace down my body. His fingers loop around my thong and takes it along with the black dress.

My heels fall to the floor, each thudding and mixing with the sound of my heart racing. I’m given a moment, only a quick moment as he pulls his shirt over his head. But instead of thinking about what I’m doing, instead of falling for the self-doubt and fears, I’m mesmerized by the rippling of his muscles and then by the girth and rigidity of his cock as he shoves his pants off.

It happened so fast. Like a whirlwind of chaos, that only surrounded the two of us. The mattress groans with his weight as I prop myself up on my elbows. He slides between my legs, not asking me to spread my thighs for him. My body behaves naturally, opening up for him as if he was meant to be there. As if my movements were controlled by his desires.

My heart beats so hard, it feels like it’s trying to get away from me. His hard, hot body pushes down against mine and I can’t breathe. But I don’t want to.

My head turns to one side and then the other, feeling the cool sheet beneath my cheek as the head of his dick brushes against my slick folds.

“You’re so wet for me,” he says and Mason’s voice is a mixture of wonder and reverence. I try to move my head again, but he captures my lips with his and suddenly pushes his cock deep inside of me, all the way to the hilt in one swift stroke.

I scream out, my neck arching and my back bowing as he stills and gives me a moment to adjust to his size. My heart squeezes in my chest, but then, he moves.

Not just moves. He fucks me with a punishing force. The bed slams against the wall with each thrust. He kisses me as though he’s breathing the air from my lungs. He pins me down and takes everything from me, forcing me higher and higher, all while giving me everything I never knew I needed.

It’s not until I’m left panting and recovering from waves of pleasure that I start to question what I’ve done. But it’s so late and I’m so exhausted. I forget it all, except what he’s done to me and give in to sleep.