Chapter 11

Rhys

 

Things were bearable after we’d talked, but it was still another six long, uncomfortable hours before we pulled into Derek’s sister’s driveway.

“Okay.” I shut off the engine. “We’re here.”

“Finally.” Derek tucked his headphones into their case. “I think I’m about ready to call it a night.”

“Me too.” It wasn’t even that late, but the road was tiring, and the ongoing silence between us had been draining in its own way too.

I unbuckled my seat belt, but before I could open my door, Derek said, “Wait.”

I turned to him, suddenly nervous. What now?

Derek swallowed. “Before we go in, we should put our rings back on.”

“Oh.” I looked at my left hand, which was on the door handle. “Yeah. Good idea.” And good thing I’d remembered to pack it. I’d stopped wearing it a long time ago, and I’d been so stressed before this trip, it had nearly slipped my mind to bring it. “Uh, mine’s in my shaving kit.” I motioned toward the back. “Let me get it.”

He nodded.

It was dark out, and the night was cold enough that ice was a possibility, so I pulled my cane out from under the seat. Moving carefully, I went around to the back of the truck, opened the hatch, and pulled my shaving kit out of my suitcase. The ring was in a small box, and I took it out and put it on.

Wow. This was… weird. I opened and closed my hand, eyeing the ring in the dim floodlights in front of Amy’s house. The tan line hadn’t even faded yet, but the smooth, cool band already felt alien on my finger. As if it had been off longer than it had been on, even though I’d worn the thing for seven years.

Kind of like my relationship with Derek, I guess. Great for years, and then so shitty it’s hard to remember all the good years that came before.

I shoved my shaving kit back into my suitcase and zipped the lid. In silence—the oh so familiar damned silence—we gathered our things and headed up the walk to the front door.

Before Derek had cleared the top step, the door swung open.

“Hey!” Amy grinned and spread her arms wide. “Gimme hugs, boys!”

Derek and I both laughed, and in turn, we hugged her on the porch.

She took us inside and we greeted her husband, Nate, and their teenagers, Jackie, Robbie, and Kelly. I was seriously ready to take everything into the guest room and flop facedown on the bed for the night, but then she uttered those magic words that gave me reason to stay out here: “Do either of you want some coffee?”

Yes. Yes, we did.

While her husband and son took our things into the guest room, we sat on her huge, comfy sofa, and a moment later, she brought in a couple of steaming cups of coffee.

Unfortunately, after the last few hours—the last few days, really—the coffee didn’t do much. Within half an hour, I was flagging, and Derek was starting to get that spacey look in his eyes that meant he was running on fumes. I really hoped it was because we were tired from being on the road and not solely from the monumental effort of pretending everything was peachy between us. If we couldn’t handle an hour of that, we were fucked for the weekend.

Whatever the case, we both tried to stay engaged as Amy and her family caught us up on everything they’d been doing lately, but it just wasn’t happening. The minds were willing but the bodies were weak.

We glanced at each other, and I suspected Derek recognized my expression as easily as I recognized his—we were both just done.

“Well,” he said to his sister. “I think we’re going to call it a night. It’s been a long day.”

Amy grimaced. “I bet. And you’re going to be running yourselves ragged this weekend.”

“Don’t remind me,” he muttered.

I tried not to take that personally. He meant we’d be running ourselves ragged with all the wedding festivities, not our secret charade. That was all.

We said good night to everyone, then shuffled to the guest room. Derek shut the door behind us, and just like that we were alone in this familiar guest room with its familiar bed.

Knowing we’d be sharing a bed tonight, I’d expected a certain amount of tension and maybe even some sniping once we were in here, but neither of us said much of anything. We got ready for bed, got into bed, and shut off the light, and that was the end of it. Maybe that was good. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it meant we could do this. Maybe it meant we were both too tired and resigned to fight.

At least things were calm for the time being. I’d take that for as long as it lasted.

 

***

 

The first night in Amy’s house was, unsurprisingly, miserable. The bed was slightly smaller than a queen, so I didn’t dare move for fear of brushing up against Derek. I spent most of the night clinging to the edge, keeping my back to him and trying like hell to fall asleep.

Though we’d yet again come to something like a truce, the damage was done. Maybe we could pretend to be happily married in front of everyone at all the wedding festivities, but when it was just the two of us? Forget it. We both knew the truth, so there was no point in pretending we believed the lie. So now the air was cool between us, and I couldn’t sleep.

It didn’t help that my right knee throbbed mercilessly for most of the night. Four days of driving had definitely taken their toll, and now I regretted not taking Derek up on his offer to drive for a while. And of course whenever I was out of the car, I was favoring it, which meant putting extra weight on my prosthetic, which meant my left knee and hip were sore too.

By the time the sun rose and I gave up, I was running on maybe two hours of sleep. Fortunately, my brief stint in the Army and over a decade as a teacher had left me with a seriously valuable superpower: the ability to function at ninety percent or better even when I was running on fumes. I might feel like shit, and I’d crash hard once there was nothing left standing between me and a bed, but in the meantime? I’d be fine.

A brisk jog in the biting cold helped wake me up too. A short one, though—both knees and my left hip were sore, so I went easy. Just a half mile or so around Amy’s neighborhood at a low speed. Enough to work some stiffness out of my joints and muscles without overly taxing anything. As a bonus, while it was cold as hell, the roads were clear. No ice to slide and bust my ass. Perfect.

When I came back in from my run, everyone else was starting to come out for breakfast.

“Did you have a nice run?” Amy asked cheerfully.

“Yeah.” I smiled. “I’m just going to grab a shower, and then I’ll join you.”

I was halfway out of the kitchen, when Robbie said in a disgusted voice, “Ugh, how can you run in that?”

Derek, who was sitting at the kitchen table, tensed.

I glanced down at my running blade, then back at Robbie. “Uh, why not?”

He gestured out the window. “It’s cold as balls out there.”

“Robbie,” his mom scolded.

“What?” He shrugged. “It is.”

I chuckled, relieved he’d meant the weather. Derek relaxed too. We should’ve known better—Amy’s kids were all well aware of my disability and they’d seen both my everyday prosthetic and the running blade before.

“It’s not that bad,” I said. “Not once you get moving.”

The kid shuddered and clung to his coffee cup. “No, thank you.”

“Wimp.”

“Hey!”

I shrugged. “What? It’s not that cold.”

He just shook his head, and the rest of his family laughed.

While they continued with coffee and making breakfast, I returned to the guest room for a shower. We’d stayed with Amy enough times that I didn’t even have to ask for a shower chair anymore—she’d left it propped against the wall before we’d arrived. Or maybe Derek had reminded her. Either way, I appreciated it.

By the time I’d finished my shower and come back into the room, Derek had returned as well. He went into the bathroom to shave while I got dressed, and that silence from last night lingered while we went about our morning routines.

I was just sliding my wedding ring back on—weird—when Derek broke the silence.

“So, um, we’re still on for the party tonight, right?”

Party? Tonight?

Oh. That one. Fuck. It was supposed to be an informal gathering so the families could actually meet before the wedding. Derek and I had met Corbin a few times, but neither of us had met his extended family. Well, aside from Derek briefly Facetiming with the kid’s parents.

So, I’d have the opportunity to meet Vanessa’s new extended family, and Derek and I could have a dressed rehearsal of pretending to still be happily married loving husbands. Yay?

I glanced down at the ring I didn’t feel right wearing. “Yeah. Yeah, we’re still on.”

“Okay. Good.” He paused. “And, um, as far as anyone but us knows, everything is fine between us.” His tone was flat, tinged with more fatigue than anger or bitterness. “I guess tonight will give us a chance to see if we can pull that off.”

“I think we can.” My voice didn’t sound much better. “It’s just for tonight and the next couple of days. We can do this.”

Derek met my gaze, and to my surprise, he cracked a small smile. “Yeah, we can do this.”

I managed to smile back just as faintly. “Um, what time do we need to leave for the party?”

“Probably around four.”

“All right. I’ll be ready.”

 

***

 

I was so not ready for this.

I mean, I was dressed and dutifully wearing my wedding ring, and we were in the truck with time to spare to get to the party on time. Ready? Eh, not so much.

We’d spent most of the day just relaxing. Catching up with Amy and the family now that we were awake. Running a few errands to pick up things Vanessa’s mom had texted saying she frantically needed. Helping Amy wrap her wedding gift because no one in Derek’s family had gift-wrapping game like I did.

Before I’d known it, it was almost four. Time to go be around people. A lot of people. So many people.

The party was being held in the VFW hall not far from the reception hall. I parked in the mostly full lot outside, and we headed in.

At the door, we stopped, and we both took deep breaths, straightened our jackets, and set our shoulders back. Then Derek offered his elbow.

It was easier than it should have been to slide my hand into the crook of his arm. Habit, probably. We’d been good at this longer than we’d been cold toward each other, so I let chalked it up to muscle memory.

When we stepped into the crowded VFW hall, two things were immediately apparent—Corbin’s family was huge (oh God so many people), and he was not the first to join the military. Though everyone was in civvies, the haircuts on the younger generation were hard to miss. He had a number of older relatives who stood with that conspicuously stiff posture that came with wearing a uniform for most of their lives.

I glanced at Derek. Hopefully he was in a steady state of mind tonight and could handle people comparing war stories. Most of the time he was fine. If he was a bit brittle or his PTSD was acting up, he’d quickly bow out of those conversations. Easier said than done in a room full of military.

“You going to be okay?” I asked.

Derek nodded. “Yeah. I’ll be fine.” He glanced at me, and though he didn’t look particularly happy to be looking at me, nothing in his expression said get me the fuck out of here. Good enough.

It didn’t take long for us to find Vanessa. She was talking to some people I didn’t recognize, dressed in a blue cocktail dress with her blond hair tumbling over her shoulders and a couple of her tattoos showing.

She turned, and the instant she saw us, her eyes lit up. “Hey!” She threw her arms around Derek. “I’m so glad you guys made it!”

“Like we’d miss this.” Derek hugged her tight. “Congratulations, kiddo.”

“Thanks.” She let him go, turned to me, and pulled me into a hug too. “How was the trip?”

“Long,” we both said, injecting enough good humor into it to avoid her suspecting just how long the trip had been or why.

“You’ll have to fill me in on—” She glanced past Derek, and her lips pursed. “Damn it. Corbin’s mom needs me for something. I’ll be back.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Derek said. “We’ll be here.”

She released a long-suffering sigh, then hurried off to see what her new mother-in-law needed.

The party was, as these things often were, a whirlwind of faces and introductions. We’d met most of Vanessa’s mom’s family before, and of course we’d met the groom, but we hadn’t met his family before. And there were a lot of them. At one point, while catching up with Corbin, an older gentleman leaning heavily on a cane came up to offer his congratulations.

“So, this is my Great Uncle Bill.” Corbin gestured at us. “Uncle Bill, this is Derek and Rhys. Vanessa’s dad and—” His eyes darted toward me as if he’d suddenly drawn a blank.

“Stepdad,” I said.

“Stepdad?” Bill looked around. “When in the world did Sara get remarried? Did I miss that?”

“No. No.” Corbin waved a hand at us again. “They’re married to each other.”

“Oh.” Bill glanced back and forth between us. “Well, I got no problem with two men being married, you know.”

I could feel Derek bristling beside me, though he had a damn good poker face.

“That’s great,” he said with a convincing smile. “We’re pretty okay with straight people being married too.”

“Eh.” I made a so-so gesture. “Long as they don’t throw it in our faces, though. That’s obnoxious.”

Bill looked puzzled.

I put up a hand. “And as long as they’re not asking for more special rights.”

“Ugh.” Derek made a dramatic gesture of rolling his eyes. “Always with the special rights.”

Bill was definitely confused now, and I struggled not to snicker. But then he cleared his throat. “Well, one of the boys at my office married a man the day they legalized gay marriage.” He laughed dryly, shaking his head. “Not even a year later, the dumb kids got divorced. Can you imagine? Making such a big stink over wanting to get married, saying they should be able to do the same as the rest of us, and they can’t even make it work.”

Derek and I exchanged uncomfortable glances. Even his poker face had slipped.

“Bill, really?” Corbin touched his great uncle’s shoulders and gently steered the man toward the bar. “Looks like you could use a refill.”

Bill looked at the mostly empty drink in his hand, grunted in agreement, and headed toward the bar, muttering something about men marrying men when there’s so many perfectly good women out there.

Corbin sighed and turned to us. “I’m sorry about him. He means well—I think—but he has no filter at all.”

“You don’t say,” Derek said into his glass, but he sounded amused.

“How’s everything else going?” I asked. “Wedding prep in between”—I nodded toward the great uncle in question—“relative wrangling?”

“Crazy,” Corbin said. “Vanessa’s mom says that’s normal, though.”

“It is,” Derek and I said in unison.

Corbin chuckled. “Great. I’m probably going to spend half the honeymoon just catching up on sleep.”

“Good plan,” I said with a laugh. “I think I collapsed for almost eighteen hours after our wedding.”

“Me too.” Derek’s laugh was halfhearted. “I thought it was over the top to leave the reception in a limo because we could just drive ourselves. Good thing we did, though—I was asleep before it pulled out of the parking lot.”

Now I was the one struggling not to sound halfhearted. That had been one of my favorite memories from our wedding—that quiet ride in the limo with Derek dozing against me.

“Aw, crap,” Corbin muttered, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Will you guys excuse me for a second? Bill is stirring shit up again.”

“Go get him,” Derek said with some more genuine amusement.

Corbin hurried off to corral his great uncle, and a second later, Vanessa’s mom, Sara, came out of the crowd, arms outstretched. “Oh there you guys are! Sorry, I’ve been running around putting out fires.”

“It’s a wedding,” Derek said with a laugh as he hugged her. “Wouldn’t be right if there wasn’t nonstop chaos.”

She let him go and shot him a pointed look. “Says the man who hasn’t been neck deep in the chaos this whole time. Ugh, why do weddings always seem like such disasters?”

Derek and I chuckled but didn’t look at each other.

“Well, I’m glad you two made it.” Her eyebrow flicked ever so slightly upward as her eyes darted back and forth between us. “In one piece, too.”

I glanced at Derek, not sure what to make of the comment.

He shifted a little, clearing his throat and avoiding her eyes and mine. “Yeah. Yeah. Made it one piece.” When he finally met her gaze, his smile was the least convincing one I thought I’d ever seen on him. “Wasn’t so bad after all.”

Sara nodded, shifting her eyes toward me. Her expression was still more or less pleasant, but steely too. A distinct “you better be glad there are people around.”

I gulped. Great. I was now on the shit list of the stressed out mother-of-the-bride who was also really protective of her daughter’s father. That boded well for the rest of the weekend.

After Sara left to put out some fire or another—something about the caterer, I thought—I cut my eyes toward Derek. “She knows, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah.” Derek slid his hands into his pockets. “She’s, uh, known for a while. Pretty much since the beginning.”

Oh. Awesome. So she’d gotten the story when Derek had still been spitting nails over what I’d done. That explained the warning in her eyes. God help me if she got me alone this weekend.

“Thanks for the heads up,” I muttered into my drink.

“I needed to talk to someone about it,” he snapped. I glared at him, and he returned it, but in the same moment I remembered where we were, he seemed to do the same. Expression and voice softening, he said, “She’s not going to say anything. I told her we’re keeping things on the DL until after the wedding. We’re good.”

“Uh-huh.”

He leveled a glare at me. “Rhys. Just—”

“Don’t.” I lowered my drink and returned the glare. “You just could’ve mentioned that she knew, okay? That’s all. Nobody wants any surprises this weekend, and that includes me.”

His lips pulled tight. I could hear the this could have been avoided entirely if you hadn’t… coming from a mile away, but he didn’t say it out loud. Something told me he would before the end of the weekend.

Pretending everything was fine, we continued mingling at the party. By the time we caught up with Vanessa again, we’d schooled all traces of our marital bullshit out of our voices and expressions.

“So do you and Corbin have any idea where you’ll be transferring?” Derek asked. “Or when?”

“Don’t know exactly when yet,” she said. “But he’s probably getting orders sooner than we thought. He’s thinking somewhere on the East Coast, but we don’t know for sure yet.”

Derek furrowed his brow. “How’s that going to work with you going to school?” I could practically hear him crunching the numbers on in-state versus out-of-state tuition, and I was doing the same. Along with her mom, we all contributed as much as we could so Vanessa wouldn’t have to cover it all with student loans, but out-of-state could get hairy.

Vanessa waved a hand. “Oh, I’m probably going to continue the program I’m in. They have online courses in the same field, and Corbin is looking into waivers for out-of-state tuition because I’m a military dependent. If we can’t swing that, there are some schools that have locations on bases that don’t charge out-of-state rates.”

“Oh. Good.” Derek visibly relaxed. “Just let me know if you need help with anything.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Vanessa glanced past us and straightened. “Oh! Corbin’s grandparents just got here. I need to go say hi. I’ll catch up with you guys!”

She hurried off, and Derek chuckled. “She’s going to be exhausted by the end of the weekend.”

“No kidding.” I turned to him. “By the way, keep me in the loop if her tuition does go up. Money’s going to be tight for a while, but I’ll help as much as I can.”

“I will. Thanks.” We exchanged uneasy smiles. At least we’d managed to keep the façade going in front of Corbin, his weird great uncle, Sara, and Vanessa, even if we flagged a little when no one else was looking.

Vanessa was going to be tired at the end of this weekend? We were going to be wiped.

And as much as I knew Derek was ready to break off contact with me, I hoped he took me up on my offer to continue helping with our daughter’s tuition. How I’d do that… well, I’d figure it out one way or another. I still wasn’t entirely sure how I was going to live on my own on a teacher’s salary. Even with my disability pay from the military, money was and probably always would be tight.

Guess I’d add find a roommate to my list of things to do after this trip was over.