Chapter 18

Derek

 

As Rhys and I walked hand in hand back into the warm reception hall, Vanessa turned. Her eyes darted right to our hands, and her face lit up. Lifting her skirt so she wouldn’t trip, she hurried toward us from where she’d been chatting with some guests.

“Are you guys…?” Her forehead creased and she stared at us with a hopeful smile on her lips.

Rhys and I glanced at each other, both smiling. He raised his eyebrows, a look I recognized as I’ll follow your lead.

I turned to Vanessa. “We’re going to give it a try. It’s not going to be fixed overnight, but we’re—”

“Oh my God, that’s awesome!” She threw her arms around me, nearly bowling me over, and I laughed as I hugged her back. She embraced Rhys too, and when he glanced at me over her shoulder, his eyes damn near melted me all over again.

I almost lost you.

We almost lost this.

Suddenly I was almost overwhelmed with the need to hug him—hell, hug both of them. So I stepped in, wrapped one arm around her and one around him, and tried my damnedest not to cry because my little family felt whole again. It would take a lot to fix everything that was broken between us, but nothing in the world motivated me more to put in the effort than this moment right here. Whatever it took to get us on the rails and keep us there, I was all in.

The three of us separated, and Vanessa glanced back and forth between us. “So you guys are really okay?”

“We’re getting there,” I said.

Her forehead creased. “Getting there?”

“Hey, it doesn’t happen overnight.” I kissed Rhys’s fingers and smiled at him. “We’re off to a good start, though.”

She still didn’t seem entirely convinced.

“Hey.” Rhys put his free hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry about us, okay? Today’s about you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She waved him off. “That’s like telling me not to be nervous about the wedding.”

He laughed. “Fair. But there’s nothing to worry about here. We’re…” He turned to me, a soft smile forming on his lips. “I think we’re back on track.”

I wrapped my arm around his waist. “Yeah. Me too.”

“Thank God.” Vanessa hugged us each again. “Jesus, I am so relieved.”

“So am I, believe me,” I said. “Now come on. You’re supposed to be enjoying your wedding.”

She grinned broadly. “I’m enjoying it a lot more now.”

I smiled through the guilt that still prodded at me. It would take a while for my conscience to stop feeling quite so raw thanks to my near-divorce casting a shadow over our daughter’s wedding. “I think your man’s waiting for you on the dancefloor.” I nodded past her. She turned, and Corbin flashed her an “are you coming?” smile as he kept dancing with some friends near the edge of the crowd.

Vanessa turned back to us. “You guys better get out there too.”

“We’re right behind you, sweetheart,” Rhys said. As Vanessa headed for the dancefloor, he faced me. “You want to dance again?”

I grinned. “Thought you’d never ask.”

He took my hand and led me out into the crowd. Eyes locked, we pulled each other close again.

There were a handful of people in the room who obviously didn’t care for two men showing affection—including Corbin’s great uncle—but quite frankly, they could all go fuck themselves. After teetering on a precipice for so long, and finally stepping back into the safety of each other’s arms, we weren’t letting go. I needed to hold him while the dust settled all around us. Touch him while I caught my breath. Tell myself again and again that we’d put on the brakes before we’d passed a point of no return.

Whatever came next, I had a feeling we’d benefit from some outside help. So, as I continued dancing with the man I’d almost divorced, I promised myself that as soon as I had a few minutes alone, I’d start scouring the internet for a queer-friendly marriage counselor.

After a few songs, we both needed a break from the thickening crowd on the dancefloor, so we stepped away to get something to drink. While we were standing in line at the bar, my arm loosely wrapped around Rhys’s waist, Sara appeared in beside us. “And here I thought Vanessa’d just had too much to drink and started imagining things. But…” She gestured at us. “ I guess not.”

“Nope,” I said. “She wasn’t imagining things.”

“Good. I’m glad.” She smiled, but then sobered as she looked at Rhys. “Listen, I wanted to apologize for last night.”

“It’s okay.” Rhys smiled, tightening his arm around my waist. “I think it knocked over a few dominoes that got us here, so…”

“Still. I’m sorry.”

Rhys let go of me and hugged her. “It’s all good. I promise.”

Sara closed her eyes and sighed. “Thank you, Rhys.” She let him go. “And I’m really glad to see you two back together.”

“Yeah.” I wrapped my arm around him. “Me too.”

 

***

 

Not surprisingly, it was late when we let ourselves into my sister’s house. Amy and her husband had left the wedding a couple of hours earlier, but we’d stayed to help with some of the clean-up. Now, everything was done, and we were finally back at the house.

In the living room, Rhys’s eyes flicked toward the sofa where I’d slept last night. A blanket was spread across the cushions, and a couple of pillows were propped on the armrest.

“You’re, um…” He shot me a mischievous look as he pointed at the makeshift bed. “You’re not planning on sleeping in here again, are you?”

I tugged my bowtie loose. “Keep looking at me like that, and neither of us will be sleeping any time soon.”

Rhys hooked a finger under my belt and pulled me closer to him. “I’m absolutely wiped, but I’m pretty sure I can find a second wind.”

“Yeah?”

We both grinned. Then we headed upstairs to the guest room. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted, but I needed Rhys tonight. If I collapsed under the weight of my own fatigue, I’d spend the whole night dreaming that things had played out differently. That we hadn’t shared that dance out in the cold wind, and we hadn’t agreed to do whatever it took to make us work. No, I fully intended to fall asleep still aching from him so my mind and body knew damn well that everything was the way it needed to be again.

He closed the bedroom door behind us, and we got as far as taking off our jackets before we sank onto the bed together. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d kissed like this, and promised myself this wouldn’t be the last time. We needed to fool around like this more often. Kissing hard and deep. Clawing at each other’s clothes in an effort to get to the hot skin underneath. Making each other gasp and curse.

“We should really take all this crap off before we tear something,” he murmured between kisses.

“Mmm, I was thinking we should take it all off so I can put my hands on you, but not tearing something works too.”

Rhys laughed, a light, carefree sound that was so, so good to hear. His hands slid down over my ass, and we both groaned as he pulled me against him so there was no missing either of our hard-ons between us. “Derek…”

“Get out of those clothes,” I breathed. “I want you naked.”

We were both unbuttoning our shirts before we’d even fully separated. Rhys sat on the edge of the bed to take off his prosthetic and liner, and then we slipped back into bed beneath the covers. We came together in the middle, naked and hard and hungry for each other, and for ages, we lay like that—on our sides, kissing lazily and stroking each other’s cocks as if we had all night just to touch and tease.

A shiver pushed me closer to him, and I thrust my cock into his fist. He groaned, so I did it again, and then he was doing the same. We picked up speed, but then the bed creaked and we both froze.

“Damn,” he murmured. “Stupid bed’s going to give us away.”

“Mmhmm. But there’s… God, Rhys…” I shuddered. “There’s stuff we can do. Quieter stuff.”

“Yeah?” He grinned against my lips. “Like what?”

“Well…” I tightened my grip on his cock, and it was his turn to shiver and moan. “If you promise to be good and quiet, I can fuck you.”

Holy hell—that helpless whimper had to be the sexiest thing I had ever heard. “Yes, please.”

I laughed softly, stroking him harder. “That what you want?”

“God, yeah.” He pushed his dick into my fist. “So want it.”

“Promise you’ll stay quiet?”

“I can if you can.”

“That a challenge?”

“Maybe.”

I slid my thumb over the head of his cock, making him gasp. “Sure you can—”

“Just fuck me, damn it,” he whispered.

I chuckled. “You still have that lube?”

“Uh-huh.” He licked his lips. “Should we get it?”

“Well unless you want me to fuck you dry or something.”

He shuddered, and I chuckled.

“Where is it?” I asked, sitting up.

He nodded toward the bathroom. “My shaving kit.”

It only took a second to find it, and I swore just getting my hand on that little bottle of clear liquid made my cock even harder. The anticipation was driving me out of my mind. I slid into bed beside him, and from the way he pulled me into his arms and kissed me, he was definitely on the same page. We made out breathlessly while we groped and ground, the bottle tumbling onto the bed somewhere between us.

“Derek,” he pleaded. “C’mon.”

I felt around and found the bottle again. It took a few tries, but I got the top open. Breaking the kiss took a few more tries, but I managed to do that too, if only because I needed to see what I was doing so lube didn’t end up everywhere except where it needed to be.

Rhys bit his lip as I poured lube on my fingers, and he parted his thighs. I capped the bottle again, dropped it somewhere I could easily find it again, and ran my palm up his inner thigh. I’d barely started teasing his hole with my fingertips before we were kissing again. He’d always loved kissing, and so had I, and tonight, there was a sense of urgency that had never been there before. Like we both needed to make sure we really had come back to this, and we also desperately needed to make up for so much lost time. Whatever was driving it, I didn’t complain.

Rhys exhaled sharply through his nose as my fingers slid into him. He gripped my shoulder and kissed me harder, squirming beside me as I worked them deeper. It didn’t take long to get him ready—never did—but I fingered him for ages just because I could. Because I knew he loved being fingered, and also because it was fun to tease him, knowing he loved taking cock even more than he loved this.

When his nails started to dig in and his breath was coming in short, sharp gasps, I knew he couldn’t wait much more. And I couldn’t wait either.

Sliding my fingers free, I murmured, “Turn over.”

“On my knees or my stomach?”

I grinned. “You know how I like fucking you.”

He visibly shuddered as he returned the grin, and then he turned onto his stomach. I positioned myself over him, heart thumping as I guided myself to his well-prepped hole. I started to ease my cock into him, and we both sighed, which turned into low groans as I slid past the tight muscle. I molded myself to him as I pushed deeper. There was more resistance than I was used to with him, though; he was probably still tense because of everything that had gone down.

“Hey,” I murmured into his hair. “Relax.”

“I’m…” He exhaled, letting his head fall forward. “Trying. I just… There’s been so much…”

“Shh.” I kissed beneath his hairline. “Only thing that matters right now is us. We’ll work everything out.” I withdrew slowly, then eased back in. “Right now, I just want you to feel good.”

“I do. Always… Always do when…”

“Then just breathe. Relax. Don’t worry about anything except enjoying this.”

“I am. God, Derek…”

“Breathe,” I whispered. “Everything’s good tonight.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled, and he started to yield to me. Carefully, I continued my slow, easy strokes, and little by little, he relaxed. He took me deeper, moaning every time I bottomed out, and I slid fluidly in and out of him.

“Fuck, baby,” I whispered. “I love…love the way you feel.”

He responded with a wordless sound that I knew meant he agreed. He stretched his arm out and gripped the edge of the mattress, muscles rippling under his tattoos. “Derek…”

I bit his shoulder. “Like that?”

He moaned, a sound I’d long ago learned to recognize as don’t you dare stop.

No, I definitely wasn’t stopping. I gave myself over to this with a degree of surrender I didn’t think I’d ever experienced before. Letting myself move in him and with him and over him, getting lost in the sheer ecstasy of being with him.

I couldn’t believe we’d made it back to this. It didn’t even matter that there was still a lot of work to be done—just the fact that what we had was salvageable at all gave me a profound sense of relief. I’d walk through fire for Rhys. How I’d ever thought that had changed, I couldn’t begin to imagine now. We still needed to find some forgiveness and close some wounds, but nothing that had happened seemed worth letting go of this. Letting go of him.

My eyes stung, and I buried my face against his neck. This was the second time in a matter of days that sex with Rhys had overwhelmed me to the point of tears, but this was nothing like the last time. I wasn’t fighting anything back anymore. I wasn’t trying to pretend I wasn’t angry or hurt, or that this was just a Band-Aid over something we couldn’t fix.

It was all just so real and perfect, and I was so overwhelmed with emotions and disbelief. The invisible weight of the world rolled off my shoulders. Tension I hadn’t even noticed before melted away.

I rocked my hips and held him as close as I could. I was pressed up against him, buried inside him, breathing in his scent and body heat, and I still couldn’t get close enough. I couldn’t say if it was because we’d been so far apart for so long, or if I just needed to feel as much of him as possible to make sure we weren’t that far apart anymore.

“God, Derek,” he breathed, arching under me. “Baby…”

I exhaled against his neck as I slid an arm under him and hooked it over his shoulder, and we both groaned as I used the leverage to thrust deep inside him. It felt so damn good to give myself over completely. There was no holding back anymore, and that total surrender was the most liberating thing I’d ever experienced.

Beneath me, Rhys shivered. “Fuck…”

“Mmm, baby…” I let my teeth scrape the side of his neck. “I’m… I want to come in you, and then…” I thrust hard. “Then I’m going to blow you.”

Rhys moaned. “Yeah. Yes. That.” He rocked his hips in time with mine. “You feel so good…”

I buried my face against his neck again to keep myself quiet, and I held on tight and fucked him for all I was worth as my orgasm closed in. The need to hold back and draw this out was nonexistent—the sooner I came, the sooner I’d get to have him like this all over again.

He released a ragged whimper, and that was all I needed. A shudder forced me all the way inside him, and I pressed my teeth into his shoulder to force back my own cry as Rhys kept rocking his hips to keep me coming. He kept going until I stopped him with a hand on his hip, and after I’d paused long enough to let the spinning room slow down, I carefully pulled out.

“Turn over,” I said, and kissed the side of his neck before I got out of his way.

Rhys didn’t hesitate. As soon as he was on his back, I pushed his thighs apart and eagerly went down on him.

“Mmm, yeah,” he whispered. “Fuck…”

As I took him deeper into my mouth, I pushed two fingers into his ass, and he gasped. Again when I crooked them inside him. His back arched, and his fingers kneaded my scalp, raising goose bumps all the way down my neck and back, and he moaned my name as I licked and sucked his rock-hard dick.

“God, you’re so good at that,” he slurred just loud enough for me and no one else to hear. I hummed around his cock because I knew he loved that, and he rewarded me with a soft moan. Once we were home and didn’t have to stay quiet, his voice would be echoing off the walls while I blew him, but tonight, his restrained and barely audible sounds of pleasure were more than enough.

It didn’t take long to get him to the edge. Never did if I’d been fucking him before I went down on him, especially since I knew all the ways he loved to be licked and stroked and fingered. He held his breath, every muscle in his body tensing as he hurtled closer to the edge, and then all at once, he released his breath and the tension gave and hot cum shot into my mouth. Like he’d done for me, I teased him to keep his orgasm going, and when he’d had enough, I stopped.

I pushed myself up on my arms and came back to up to him, and as soon as I was within reach, Rhys wrapped his arms around me and drew me down on top of him. We kissed breathlessly, still tangled up and trembling. Fatigue was closing in even faster now, and my body wanted to flop onto the mattress and go to sleep, but…not yet. I needed a few more minutes of holding him like this.

After a while, I broke the kiss, and our eyes met. He smiled. Then I did. And then we both laughed. I wasn’t even sure why. Nothing was funny—it just felt good to let go and be happy with him again. Like we were returning to a place I thought had been burned to the ground, and we were both giddy with the relief of coming home.

I can’t believe we made it back to his.

But all I said was, “I love you, Rhys.”

He pressed a kiss to my temple. “I love you too.”