Chapter 19

Rhys

 

Everything was right in my world again, and it was surreal. I’d accepted on some level that things had changed and could never go back, just like they’d changed after my accident. And to some extent, maybe they wouldn’t. My relationship with Derek would never be the same as it was before I’d fucked everything up.

But maybe there was a chance it could be…better? Like now that we were this aware of how much we had to lose, we wouldn’t take anything for granted. I wouldn’t take anything for granted.

Derek cuddled closer and rested his head on my shoulder, our hands loosely clasped in the middle of my chest. “I really thought I’d lost you.”

“Tell me about it.” I kissed the top of his head. “Still doesn’t seem quite real, you know? Having this back?”

“No, it doesn’t.” He turned and lifted himself onto his elbow. “It isn’t going to be perfect overnight, though. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” I stroked his hair. “Maybe we should get some help from someone who knows how to handle all this.”

“That’s what I was thinking.”

“Fair warning—I’m probably going to be apologizing for the rest of my life.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know.” I let the backs of my fingers drift down his stubbled cheek. “But that’s not going to stop me.”

He came down, kissed me softly, and whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I caressed his face. “Whatever it takes to make this work, I’ll do it.”

“So will I. But we don’t have to do all of that tonight.” He covered my hand with his and kissed my palm. “Let’s just enjoy us.”

“We will. We are. But when we get home, whatever we need to do. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t.” He leaned in for a kiss. It started out light, like he’d only meant for a brief brush, but then he came back for more, and I wasn’t about to stop him. The kiss went on, and after a while, Derek tilted his head and teased my lips apart with his tongue. I held him tighter as he deepened the kiss. My cock was starting to get hard again, and as our hips brushed, I felt his doing the same.

His lips left mine enough to let him murmur, “How much lube do we have left?”

“Enough for the moment.” I nibbled his lower lip. “Might need to get some more before we hit the road, though.”

“Mmm, pretty sure that can be arranged.” And then he kissed me full-on, and neither of us said anything more.

I wrapped my arms around him as we indulged in this long kiss that was both lazy and suggestive. As if we were both signaling loud and clear that we wanted to go another round, but no one was in any hurry.

I sure as hell wasn’t. I was much too busy savoring his touch and this closeness.

For the rest of my life, I would regret cheating on Derek, but in a small way, I was glad we’d gone through this. I wished I could go back and bring us to this point without hurting Derek, but at least by some miracle, we’d made it to this. Maybe it was the cleansing fire we hadn’t realized our marriage needed. Maybe we’d just gotten damn lucky.

Whatever the case, I had him back, and I planned to spend the rest of the night making sure he knew how relieved I was.

 

***

 

As we’d promised before we’d even left for this trip, we met Vanessa and Corbin for breakfast—more like brunch—the day after the wedding.

The restaurant was one of Vanessa’s favorites. It was a locally owned place that she always took us to when we were in town, and they had an amazing breakfast menu. Fortunately for us, they also served breakfast all day.

Derek and I got there first and found a booth. Maybe fifteen minutes later, as we were sipping our second cups of coffee, our daughter and new son-in-law arrived. Both had on sunglasses and looked like they hadn’t slept in weeks.

“Did we party a little hard last night?” I teased as I got up to hug her.

“Ugh.” Vanessa groaned. “I probably should have stopped after that third glass of champagne.”

“Aww, come on.” Derek patted her arm. “It’s your wedding. You’re supposed to wake up hung over.”

“He didn’t.” She pointed an accusing finger at her new husband, though she was grinning.

“I’m a soldier, sweetheart.” Corbin tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “If I drank enough last night to be hung over, things would have gotten out of hand.”

“Showoff,” she grumbled.

Derek and I exchanged glances and laughed as we all took our seats.

“I remember those days,” I said. “My liver is probably grateful I didn’t serve my full enlistment.”

Derek snorted. “Mine says ‘lucky you’.”

“Hey, it isn’t like anyone poured it down your throat.” I bumped his shoulder with mine. “You could have stopped any time.”

“Well, yeah.” He bumped me back. “But I didn’t want to. So there.”

“Then you have no one to blame but yourself if you fucked up your liver.”

“Shut up,” he laughed.

I chuckled, and realized Vanessa was staring at us incredulously. “What?”

She shrugged, shaking her head. “It’s just… After everything that happened, it’s so weird to see you guys, you know, being you guys again.”

We glanced at each other, and instead of that tight, uneasy feeling that I’d gotten every time I’d looked at him recently, it was a flutter in my chest. I smiled as I put my hand over his. “It’s kind of a novelty for us too.”

“Yeah, I bet.” She gestured at each of us. “So, what happens next?”

“Well,” Derek said. “First things first, we’re going to start seeing a counselor as soon as we can. Then we’ll go from there. It’ll take some time, but…” He brought my hand up and kissed the backs of my fingers. “I think we’ll be all right.”

I barely suppressed a shiver. I wondered how long this would go on, feeling so profoundly relieved every time Derek reminded me that we had a shot at being all right. I kind of hoped it didn’t stop any time soon.

It was funny how on our road trip, I’d been dreading this post-wedding breakfast. After days on end of pretending we were okay, a quiet meal with Vanessa and Corbin sounded like torture because we’d have to keep the charade going. There’d be nothing to distract her from us, and we’d have to be extra “look how great everything is” in order to fly under her radar.

Never in a million years did I imagine we wouldn’t have to pretend.

And all too soon, the breakfast I’d been dreading came to an end. We’d all finished eating and had been chatting over coffee for a while when Vanessa sighed, turning to her husband. “We should get to the airport.”

Derek glanced at his phone. “We should probably get on the road too.”

“Yeah, we should.” I couldn’t help being disappointed. After all the chaos recently, was it really too much to ask for us to take some time to bask in everything being okay?

They had a plane to catch, though, and Derek and I needed to get going so it wasn’t super late when we made it to our hotel in Boise tonight.

So we paid the bill, and the four of us trooped outside into the bitterly cold but sunny early afternoon. Beside her car, Vanessa turned to us. “Thanks for breakfast. And I’m glad you guys worked things out.”

“Me too.” I kissed her cheek. “Now go enjoy your honeymoon. And don’t forget the sunscreen this time.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.”

“Hey, if you want another second-degree sunburn…” I showed my palms.

She shivered, chafing her arms. “Ugh. No thanks.”

“Well then,” Derek said. “Sunscreen.”

Corbin laughed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “We’ll get sunscreen. Don’t worry.”

There were more hugs and goodbyes, and then our daughter and her new husband got in the car to head to the airport for their honeymoon.

As I watched them drive out of the parking lot, I said, “Think they’ll actually remember the sunscreen?”

Derek barked a laugh. “I give it three days until there’s a sunburned selfie on Instagram.”

I chuckled. “Yeah. Me too.” Then I turned to him and grinned. “I guess we better hit the road too. We’ve got a ton of lube to go through tonight.”

He shivered as he snaked an arm around my waist. “Think we’ll have to stop and get more before we make it home?”

“That sounds like a challenge to me.”

“Mmm, does it?” He pulled me closer. “Are you accepting that challenge?”

“You better believe it.”

“Then yeah—we better hit the road.”

I kissed his cheek, and we headed for my truck, smiling the whole way like a couple of dorks.

I had no illusions that our future would be easy or that there was no work left to be done to bring our marriage back to life. It was going to take time, counseling, and so much patience.

But we really were off to a damn good start.