Chapter 1
“I just don’t want to fight with you anymore. I am tired and going to bed.”
Mila wasn’t going to take that for an answer. That was all her husband did, walk away when she wanted to figure out what was going on with them. They had been married almost five years and talked less and less as each year went by. There was nothing that she could do about it, but try and get him to talk to her.
Lars had heard and seen enough. Every conversation was about how he didn’t love her or show her enough attention. Those things were true and it was part of the reason that he hadn’t wanted to get married in the first place. Lars knew that it was his duty to marry, combining the two families for many reasons, but he would never love her. She had always annoyed him and as the first year passed and she had not given him a son, he had given up on that part of his marriage as well.
Feeling her hand on his shoulder, he tried to pull away. “Enough, woman. I have had enough talk today.”
Mila stopped, knowing that there was no point in arguing with him. “Fine, Lars. I will find my affections elsewhere.”
He turned around and shrugged. “I haven’t wanted your affections in years, wife. Why don’t you go down to the countryside and you will have all the freedom that you need there?”
Her mouth dropped open. It was not what she had expected to happen from her threat. She was hoping that he would see it as an attempt to make him jealous, to make him stay. But he didn’t care to see it as anything but her constant bickering that he had tuned out years before. She didn’t follow him to his chambers, knowing that she wouldn’t be invited anyways. He didn’t want her and that much was clear.
Mila instead went towards her lover’s home in the still of the night. Charles had been a part of her life since before she was married and he continued to be the only bright cloud in her life. With her inability to have children or make her husband happy, it was the other man’s arms that she found her solace.
Lars knew about her lover and if he had cared about her, he would have cared about him, but Lars knew that she was not for him. He had had his own lovers from time to time, something to take the edge off of his needs, but it was never what he wanted. It was like the wife that wasn’t what he had wanted. Instead she was a woman that was unhappy and she made sure to make him as unhappy as she found herself.
He went to bed without a thought of where Mila was. He was instead thinking about the next day and wondering if life was ever going to get better. Or was this all there really was, war and fighting with Mila? If it was, he didn’t see much that would make it better. But he held out hope that this was not all there was. There had to be more, there just had to be.
***
Sarah was as nervous as she had thought she would be. She was there, in that beautiful castle, not because she wanted to be, but because she had to be. Her family had made an arrangement with Lady Rosien that she would be her lady-maid. It was to save Sarah from herself and a love that was forbidden. Sarah’s parents wanted to save her from herself and it seemed like the best option was to send her away. Away where she wouldn’t be tempted by the man she fancied and it would keep her from ruining the reputation of the whole family.
But she was not ready to be a lady-maid. She had never worked in a fine place like that, sticking to what she knew in the small village. There she would sell fruits and vegetables from her family’s small farm. She was nothing in the grand scheme of things, but Finn had loved her anyways. He had promised to take her away from the life that she hated so much, but when it came down to it, her family found out before he could take her away from the mess she was in.
Sarah had hoped that he would come for her. But after a week of keeping her in the countryside, the family had found someone to take her in and now she was in the Roshelle Castle for the duration. She had been sold in a way and she knew that if she tried to leave, she would most likely be hunted down and sent into the stocks when she was found. This was her life now, she tried to remind herself. Finn wasn’t coming for her. She was there on her own.
The castle was magnificent and even the small room she was giving off of the kitchen made her feel like she was higher than she was the day before. Instead of a small bed that wasn’t much more than a crude pile of straw, she had an actual mattress and it was softer than she could have imagined.
“I don’t understand. This is where I will stay?”
Darlee nodded her head that it was. She was trying to size up the woman and she wasn’t sure if she was afraid of her own shadow, or the new place she found herself in.
“Yes. Maybe when you have been here a while, they will give you a room closer to my lady, but for now you will be here. It isn’t much, but it is nice and warm because of the ovens in the kitchen. It is much better than by the gates. It is always so drafty there. It is where I was put when I first came to live here. It will be better for you in this room.”
Sarah nodded her head and could see that it would be better there. She had a good feeling about it. Sarah wasn’t sure if she was happy about the change, but she knew that it was going to have to be okay. She didn’t know how she knew, but Sarah knew that at least there she would be away from her parents. But she was also going to be away from Finn and that was something that made it hard to think of anything else.
“Are you okay?”
She shook her head again and smiled. “Yes, there are just a lot to take in. All of these changes. Thank you for being so nice to me Darlee. I don’t know what I would do without you. I was very nervous, but I think it is going to be okay.”
The older woman smiled back at her and there was nothing she could say. She herself had been scared of the new place and all of the things that were different. But it had turned out to be the best decision or rather the best decision made for her and Darlee hoped that it would be the same for Sarah.
“You will be fine. It is not as hard as you would think. What did you do before this?”
“I worked in the gardens and with the animals.”
She shook her head like she knew it would be something like that. “I can tell. You look as though you are no stranger to hard work. It will be easier here. There are just a few things to watch out for.”
Sarah perked up, knowing that she needed to know as much as she could to keep herself out of trouble. “I would love any advice that you have. I don’t want to mess up and I have never been in this kind of place before.” Her hand went to the rest of the place, a gesture that Darlee did not miss.
“Yes, it is nice here, but I promise you that it will be fine. All you have to do is little things for the lady of the house.’
“How is she? Is she nice?”
Darlee wasn’t sure how to describe the lady of the house. After years of working for her, she still wasn’t sure that she understood her herself. “Well, I wouldn’t go as far as to say she is nice. She is not a happy person in anyway, but she is fair. You will just have to learn her moods and her habits.”
Sarah looked at the way she said the last part and she felt like there was something else she was going to say. It was frowned upon for the servants to speak of their Lord and Lady, but everyone knew that they did it. They were not allowed to have their own lives, so half of their existence was having the juicy gossip of the better men to talk about.
“Well that doesn’t sound too bad.”
“No it doesn’t. You will learn. I don’t want to give you too much to worry about. She is just someone you have to meet to understand. Just be wary of her moods. They change quickly and you don’t want to be on the receiving end of a bad one.”
Sarah nodded, her dark brown eyes widened a little, but she assured herself that it would be no worse than having to deal with her father’s bad temper. If she could learn from them, then she knew that it wouldn’t be that hard to stay out of one woman’s way.
“And what of the Lord?”
Darlee paused, not really sure what to say about him. “Well he is not here a lot and when he is, he is usually in a dark mood. The two have problems, so they fight a lot. I think that is part of the reason he isn’t here that much.”
Sarah just shook her head. It all sounded so sad and lonely. Maybe there were kids, something to brighten up such a dreary existence.
“So are there any children here?”
Darlee had a frown on her face. “No, that is what they argue about the most. My lord thinks that she is making it so she can’t have any. He just wants an heir and after many years together, the chances are low that they will have one together.”
“That sounds so sad.”
The older woman couldn’t have agreed more. She had always had more sorrow for the man though. He was the one that she would catch out at night, staring up at the moon as if it would have the answer he seemed so desperate to seek. His wife on the other hand, Darlee had caught her doing her own things to make herself feel better. The fact that she had a lover the whole time she had been married to Lars was common knowledge among the staff. It wasn’t the red-haired woman that she pitied, but the dark-eyed man that had never said so much as a cross word to any of the servants. The same could not be said for Mila.
“It will be fine, Sarah. Just make sure that you stay out of her way when she is angry.”
“How will I know when she is mad?”
Darlee just smiled and shook her head. “Oh honey, you will know.