I looked at the clock and tapped the pen on the desk. Tim was late. He was usually on time for our Thursday morning meetings. It was the only time we had without Brody sulking in the office.

For the first six months after Brody had been shot, it was as if Tim and I never happened. He was always with him for rehab and to make sure he was healing well. Three bullets to the chest would knock any man down, but it was more the depression that followed when Brody woke up that he needed help through. I didn’t think Brody expected to wake up.

Who would want to live with memories of kidnapping a woman and holding her hostage? It wasn’t bad enough that he got her to trust him, but he was still messing with her by making Tim tell her he died. Brody claimed it was for her benefit so she didn’t live her life afraid that he would come back for her. I thought it was more about how she chose Bryce over him. If she thought Brody was dead, he’d never have to wonder why she didn’t love him back. Telling her he was dead took her choice away in Brody’s mind. She was never going to choose him.

The realization devastated him. He thought he’d found the love of his life, but he couldn’t be with her the way he wanted to be. I understood the feeling except I still had sex with the man I loved on Thursday mornings.

Occasionally, I’d be able to see Tim at my apartment, but his apartment was off-limits since Brody moved in with him. We were able to sneak in a little more time when Brody started his community service. I was grateful he took full blame on the case where Laney was concerned, but Tim still felt he should’ve had some kind of punishment for his involvement.

I told him that he was punishing himself by not living his life in the open. We should’ve been able to be free to be a couple, but Tim didn’t want to flaunt a relationship in Brody’s face. I tried to understand, but it was taking a toll. The only thing I had to look forward to was Thursday mornings and Tim was late.

I jumped up when Tim walked in. “You’re late.” I followed him to his office and locked the door behind me. “We are going to have to make up for some lost time here.”

He turned quick and crushed his lips to mine as he pressed me against the door. My hands went to his belt. His hands pulled my skirt up. He stopped kissing me when he touched my ass. I shrugged when he looked at me. “They’re in my bag. I’ll put them on when we’re finished.”

He nodded and lifted me to carry me to the desk. “I should’ve come in with a condom on.”

“Yeah, work on that next week.” I unzipped his pants and pulled them down over his hips. “God, I need this.”

He took a condom out of his wallet and ripped it open but tilted his head back when I wrapped my hand around him and stroked him. I let go when he put the condom on and positioned myself on the desk. My clit was screaming for attention and I obliged. My fingers would never be as good as Tim’s, but it was a good start.

“I’m sorry I was late. That looks like a wonderful breakfast.” He leaned down and licked me. “Exactly what I need to start my day with.” He licked again.

“Oh.” I closed my eyes. “Maybe you can come by tonight for dessert.”

He replaced his tongue with the tip of his dick and rubbed it up and down my slit. “Pretty soon, I’ll be able to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner whenever I want.” He slid in.

“Oh, that feels good. That’s what I need.” I kept rubbing my clit as he thrust inside. “Wait. What do you mean?”

“We’ll talk about it later.” He placed my legs over his shoulders and thrust harder. “I’ll never be late again.” He gripped my hips and pounded into me.

I grabbed his wrists. “Oh, don’t stop.” I could tell something was on his mind, but I needed the orgasm first. “We’re talking when we’re finished.”

He went faster and closed his eyes. “Fuck. You feel so good. I need something good.”

I looked at him but couldn’t get a feel for what it was that was bothering him. I wasn’t sure I could read him anymore at all, really. He hid everything so well. I closed my eyes to stop watching him and rubbed my clit again. He was going to come without me and I couldn’t let that happen.

His thrusts slowed. “Are you having a hard time?”

I opened my eyes but remained quiet. He looked at the clock and pulled his chair up behind him. “I’m making time for breakfast.” He pulled out, sat down, and licked my clit.

“Oh.” I ran my fingers through his hair as he sucked and nipped at my clit. I rocked my hips as he fucked me with two fingers.

The fast flicks of his tongue caught me up to speed. “Oh, right there. Just like that.” I arched my back as he went faster. “Yes, please, yes. Oh, God.”

I tugged on his hair. “Fuck me.” He stood and slammed into me. “Oh, shit.”

His grip was tight on my hips as he thrust over and over again. My hand went back to my clit and rubbed it fast. He pulled out, put my feet on the floor, and turned me over to my belly. I moaned when he slid back into me.

He reached around my hip and rubbed my clit. “Your legs are shaking. You’re not going to be able to hold out much longer.”

“Fuck me. Keep fucking me.” I closed my eyes as his thrusts sped up and his fingers went faster. “Oh, God. I’m so close. Don’t stop.” He pulled on my hips to lift my ass a little and changed the angle. I gripped the desk.

“Yes! Oh, God, yes. Fuck. Right there. Don’t stop.”

He pounded me three more times before I lost control and my body shook. He groaned when I clenched my walls around him. “Yeah, baby. That’s it.” He grunted through his orgasm but kept rubbing my clit to draw out mine.

When we were both satisfied, he leaned over me and kissed my shoulder. “You’re fucking amazing.”

I turned my head and kissed him. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

He smiled and pulled out but smacked my ass before he put my skirt down to cover it. “I love your ass.”

I stood and waited for him to take care of the condom before I kissed him again. “I’m going to the restroom to freshen up and put my underwear on, but we’re talking about what’s bothering you when I get back.”

He put himself away and zipped up. “Brody’s leaving town. There’s nothing to talk about.”

“What?” I couldn’t believe what I heard. I held his face and made him look at me. “Where is he going?”

“He doesn’t know. He said he can’t stay here. There are too many memories, and he doesn’t want to take a chance and run into Laney.”

“He said that?”

“He doesn’t want her to find out he’s alive and be afraid. So, he’s leaving and she’ll never know.”

“You haven’t told him that she left town?”

“No, because he wouldn’t allow me to talk about her. Either way, I can’t now. He’ll go looking for her.” He sat down and leaned back in the chair. “I can’t protect him when he’s out there and I’m here.”

It was selfish of me to ask, but my heart dropped at the thought. I had to know. “Are you saying you’re going to go with him?”

“No, I don’t want to go with him. I want him to stay home.”

I stood between his legs and pulled him to sit up so I could wrap my arms around him. “This could be a good thing for the both of you. As you said, you don’t need to hide your life anymore. It’s time you lived for you, Tim. Stop thinking what’s going to happen to someone else if you make a decision about your life.”

“It isn’t that easy.”

“And you think living like you have been has been easy?” I pulled his face up to look at me. “You’re not happy. I want nothing more than for you to be happy, but you can’t do that by making sure everyone else is happy around you.”

“You haven’t been happy.” He motioned around the room. “Are you happy with quick fucks when we can get them?”

“I’m patient. I know what I want out of life, and I’m waiting for it. In case you don’t know what that is, it’s you.” I kissed him. “It’s just like the house I want. I have to save for it. All of these stolen moments to me are like a savings account we’re building on. It isn’t perfect, but it gets me you.”

He wrapped his arms around me tighter. “I’m so sorry, April. I don’t want you to have to save up. Let me get Brody to stay and we’ll start being the couple we both want to be.”

“What do you mean that you’re getting Brody to stay? I think it would be good for him to find himself. Give him a few months.”

He let go and looked at me. It was as if I just sided with his enemy and it disgusted him. “Let him go? Do you know what’s out there for someone who doesn’t have a purpose in life? He’ll go back to drugs.”

“Or, he’ll find his purpose. Tim, you can’t control his life. He’ll resent you, and then where will you be?”

He put one hand on my hip and nudged me out of the way. “Alone, I guess. Either way, I end up alone.”

“What am I?”

“You have your parents and your brothers. You don’t need me.” He logged on to his computer.

I walked to the front of his desk and didn’t care if he looked at me or not. “I won’t deny that I’m lucky to have a relationship with my family, but they don’t complete me. I thought you did that. I thought we did that for each other. What about the family we could have one day?”

He continued to work and ignored my question as if I wasn’t standing in front of him. I closed my eyes and walked away. I was too close to breaking down, and the last thing I wanted was for him to see me cry. He heard my heart break. I wouldn’t give him another glimpse of my grief.