I stared at the two beds before me. April assured me she was fine with the arrangement, but I wasn’t too sure about that. Her eyes got as big as mine when they said we had to share a room. We both would’ve protested if there weren’t two beds. It was definitely a step up since the place we stayed at for Brody and Maggie’s wedding.

I had a feeling it was all Lila’s doing. Brody filled her in on my relationship with April, but he didn’t know everything. How could he? He didn’t even know we were an item until after it was over.

Maggie said April told her things, but she swore she hadn’t told Brody. I believed her or he would’ve been in my face about a lot of it. I would’ve deserved it, too.

The bathroom door opened and April walked out rubbing lotion on her hands. She stopped as soon as she saw me standing with my bag. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

I shook my head out of the fog it was in and tossed my bag onto the bed. “I’m fine about the beds. I’m not sure why I’m here.”

“It’ll be okay. I promise.” She raised her hands to her face. “I love the smell of this stuff.”

“You know some guy probably used it to jerk off.”

She put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes. “It’s my lotion, asshole. I always bring it with me.” She pointed at me. “And don’t get any funny ideas with it.”

I mumbled, “I bet Hank uses it.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” I opened my bag and took out a fresh shirt. The plane was hot. No one else seemed to notice, but I was dripping with sweat by the time we landed. If I had time to take a shower, I would’ve.

“What were you saying about Hank?”

I watched as she tied her shoe again. “If you tie it in a knot, it’ll stay tied. Why aren’t you wearing your heels? Is your foot still bothering you?”

“Maggie walks too fast.” She finished tying her shoe and stood. “Now, what’s this about Hank?”

“It was nothing.” I walked to answer the knock at the door. “Honestly, nothing.”

“Are you guys ready?” Brody seemed nervous. He pushed past me as soon as I opened the door.

Maggie and I shared a look as she walked in behind him. “We have plenty of time.”

“Yeah, I know.” He plopped on my bed. “I just want it over with.”

I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it to Brody. “Calm your tits. I’ll be a second.” I looked at April as I walked by. She was staring at my chest. I’d have to remember to get ready for bed before she did. Maybe I’d sleep like Brody and forgo the underwear and really give her something to look at.

* * *

We showed up at Lila’s a few minutes early. The plan was to meet at a restaurant to have a neutral setting, but the old man was refusing to go. That didn’t bode well. I didn’t understand the point of going if he wasn’t willing to meet us halfway.

Kennedy was cute and easily Lila’s clone. She was still afraid of Brody and hid behind her dad most of the time. When Lila wanted to get the ball rolling and get her dad talking, she motioned with her head for her husband to leave the room and take their daughter upstairs.

It took a little coaxing, but the promise of a snack and her favorite television show had her running upstairs before him. Dad sat in a chair at one end of the room and Lila got up to move to the chair closest to him. She had been sitting next to April on the sofa who was sitting next to me. Brody and Maggie were on the loveseat.

“Dad, it’s time we all talk as a family. It’s time we bury the hurtful things in the past and move on.”

“The only thing buried is the knife in my back for setting up this meeting.” He glared at her.

“These are my brothers. I will have them in my life. I would like for them to be a part of our lives. You and me.” She reached out and held his hand.

His hand shook as he accepted hers. I wondered if he was nervous or if it was due to his health. He wasn’t an old man, but time had taken a toll on him. His heart was failing and he was weaker than most men his age.

Lila looked at Brody and me. “How do you want to start the conversation? Does anyone want to ask questions?”

Brody wasted no time. “I want to know why you hated me for so long. I was a kid. What did I do to you?”

“You were born.”

Even I felt the sting of that, but Brody sat and took it as if he felt nothing. “So, you didn’t want kids, or you didn’t want me?”

“I’m not sure why you want to drag us all through that horrid past again, but it only proves just how selfish you are. No one here needs to go through this shit.”

“I do.” I didn’t, but I wouldn’t stand for Brody to be hung out to dry.

“Oh, just like the old days, huh? Coming to his defense when you don’t even know what the fuck is going on.”

“Then why don’t you tell us? Why don’t you spill your guts for every reason you hate us and cleanse yourself from it?”

He looked at Lila and she nodded her head. “Go on. This is what we’re here for.”

“Your mother had an affair.”

Brody scoffed. “Even if that were true, it’s no reason to take it out on your kids.”

“It is if you think that kid isn’t yours.” The air got thick and it was hard to breathe. No one expected that answer. “Look at you.” He pointed to Brody. “What part of me is in there?”

“So, you’re not my father?”

“No, I am. By the time your mother allowed the test, the damage to our relationship was done. She kept denying the affair, but I knew she had one. It was just after we were married. We married young and the man she dated before me had come back from a tour in the Army. He looked more like you than I did.

“You were twelve when she agreed. She couldn’t deny the fact you were getting bigger every day. You overpowered both of us by that age. I wasn’t good to you. I didn’t think you were mine. By the time I found out you were, we’d hated each other far too long.”

“Why didn’t you just leave her?”

“Pride, money, or just plain stubbornness. Take your pick. I wanted to make her hurt as much as she hurt me. If I left her, I would’ve let her off the hook. She would’ve found someone else to take care of her.”

“To take care of her?” I wasn’t going to sit around and hear him badmouth her. “She took care of you. She ran that house better than you ever could and that was proven when she got sick. You did fuck for her.”

April put her hand on my leg and squeezed. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to tell me to calm down or if she was trying to support me. Neither was working.

“You’re right.” He turned his attention to me. “I didn’t do anything for her but work my ass off to give her a roof over her head and food in her belly. It was more than she deserved, believe me.”

Brody cleared his throat. “I get she hurt you. I understand why you resented me. You’ll never convince us that she was the evil woman you’re depicting. She treated us better than you ever did. Even Lila talks fondly of her.”

He shrugged. “I won’t deny she loved you children.”

“You just don’t think she loved you.” I scoffed. “Children. We were children you fucked with. Tell me, Dad, which one of you was the better person? A father who was too selfish to love his children unconditionally, or a mother who tried to make up for what the father did until her very last breath?” I stood. “I need a minute.”

April grabbed my hand before I walked away, causing me to turn to her. “Don’t go too far.”

I nodded and walked to the stairs on the other side of the house. I could hear them talking, but I didn’t care what they were saying. The one person I needed wasn’t there anymore. The one person who loved me through it all left me, just like the others.

* * *

Brody’s knee bounced as he sat in the chair. It was hard for him to be sober so long, but he knew he needed to be with us. She didn’t have much time left. Lila sat behind me, and our father was nowhere to be found. He hadn’t been our father for most of our lives, but it got worse when she got sick. He moved out.

Lila was the only one who kept in contact with him. Mom made her. When things got too stressful for her, Mom sent her to live with him. Mom wouldn’t let anything screw up Lila’s last year in high school. She started to go downhill when Lila moved out, but maybe she was before that and was keeping a brave face. Maybe she was too tired to keep up the act.

I was in college and my grades were slipping, but I lied and said I was fine. I understood the energy it took to fake what you didn’t feel. I’d been doing it most of my life. I was never happy or positive, but those around me needed me to be. I was about to face my biggest challenge yet.

Mom held her hand out to me as best she could. “Get some rest.”

I took her hand. “We’re fine, Mom. We want to be here with you.”

The movement was slight, but I knew she was shaking her head. “Take them home.”

I nodded. I had a feeling it was going to be the last time I saw my mother alive. I stood and bent down to her ear to whisper, “I love you, Mom.”

She put her hand on the back of my shoulder to keep me to her. “Make peace with your father. All of you.”

I pulled back a little and shared an entire conversation with her just by looking into her eyes. She knew it would be nearly impossible, but she knew I would try. I never stopped looking at her when I spoke and addressed the other two in the room. “Come on, guys. Mom needs sleep and she can’t rest with us here. Let’s give her peace.”

* * *

I sniffed and cleared my throat. I had to pull it together. I blew out a breath and moved my head from side to side. I was startled when a tiny hand touched my shoulder.

“Are you going to cry? Did that big guy scare you, too?” Kennedy draped herself over my shoulder to look at me.

“Does it look like I’m going to cry?” I wanted the honest answer only kids could give, but I laughed when I got it.

“No, but you sound like you getting a cold. I have gummy vitomans you can have, but not the red. That’s my favrit.”

The youngest person I’d ever met was the first person to try to take care of me. My heart opened for her in an instant. I pulled her over my shoulder and sat her on my lap.

“That’s very nice of you, but I’ll get my own when I leave. You need your vitamins. From what I hear, you like to climb things. I bet I know your favorite thing to do at the park.”

Her eyes lit up. “Are we going to the park?”

“How high do you like to go?”

She smiled and raised her eyebrows as high as she could as she stretched out her arms. “Really, really high.” She put her arms back down. “Mommy says I can’t do that. I’ll break something, but nothing’s up there.”

“She means you. If you fall, you’ll break something on you.” I pointed to her chest.

“Oh, I not gonna fall.”

“I believe you. That’s why I’m going to let you in on a little secret.”

She put her nose to mine and whispered, “What is it?”

“I know the biggest thing in the entire world your mom will let you climb. It’s huge. Wanna know what it is?”

She nodded but didn’t back her face up from mine. She wanted that secret.

“Brody.”

She backed her head up and shook it as soon as I told her. “No, he’s scary.”

“He isn’t scary. He’s a big teddy bear. Just think how high you’ll be if you sit on his shoulders.”

Her eyes grew three times their size and a smile spread across her face. “That’s really high.” She pointed her finger in my face and it was hard not to laugh at the scowl she wore. “You prowmise he won’t hurt me?”

“I promise. I’ll even put you up there myself.”

“No!” She covered my mouth with her finger. “I wanna do it.”