I hadn’t seen Tim since that Tuesday in his office. I dreaded all weekend coming back because I knew he’d come into the office on Monday. It wasn’t like him to stay away so long.

I wasn’t sure what our future held for us as partners in the center. I wasn’t sure I could stay. What I was sure of was any hope of getting the man back who I had fallen in love with was impossible. And that crushed me.

Hank knew something was wrong when I wouldn’t talk to him over the weekend, but he didn’t push for answers. I figured he’d be the first person I saw Monday morning.

“Good morning, April. How was your weekend?” He sat on the edge of the desk as he often did when he was talking to me.

“It was fine. How was yours? Any more lunch dates?” I continued to work because I knew if I looked at my friend it all would’ve spilled out. I couldn’t tell him any of it. He already sensed things were escalating between Tim and me. He knew it wasn’t healthy.

“How’s your mom doing?”

The question surprised me a little and caused me to look up. “She’s fine. Why?”

“You haven’t talked about her recently. I’m usually getting some new piece of gossip from back home, but it’s been a few weeks.”

“Oh.” I looked at my computer again. “I guess I’ve just been busy. I need to call her.”

“How about dinner tonight?”

I shook my head. “I don’t feel like going out, but thank you.”

“I can bring it to you then.”

Tim walked through the office. “She said she doesn’t want to have dinner and get your ass off the desk. It’s unsanitary.” He slammed his door when he walked into his office.

Hank stood and looked at the desk before turning back to me. “Okay, I’ll give you a few more days to work through whatever it is you’ve got going on, but I’m not giving you much longer than that.”

I nodded and went back to work. I kept glancing at Tim’s door. I wished Hank wasn’t in the office when Tim walked in. I didn’t know what his attitude was toward me. It was clear what his attitude was toward Hank, but that didn’t help me out.

I took a deep breath, grabbed a folder I had on the corner of my desk, and walked to his office. It was time to find out if we could work together or not.

I knocked and walked in without waiting for a response. “I have the estimate from the roofers who came by last week. They all recommend it be replaced.”

“So, hire one.”

“I thought you’d want to look them over and discuss it.”

He stopped typing on his keyboard and looked up. “Did you read them?”

“Yes.”

“Did you form an opinion on which company to go with?”

“Yes.”

“Then call them. Why do you need my permission?”

“I’m—” I stopped myself and took a deep breath before continuing with a lower voice. “I’m not asking for your permission. I’m asking for your opinion. We are partners, right? Isn’t that what partners do?”

“I trust your judgment. You don’t need me.” The last sentence held more meaning behind it than the repairs on the roof.

I walked up to the desk and set the folder down. “All three bids are in there. I may not need your opinion, but I do want it.”

He looked up again when I said I wanted it. I wanted more than his opinion. I wanted the man I fell in love with. A slow smile spread across my lips even though I tried hard to fight it. The exchange that happened between him and Hank at my desk a few minutes ago had run through my mind. I turned to go, but he stopped me. I needed to get out before I started laughing.

“What’s that smirk about?”

I shook my head and brought my hand up to my mouth to try to keep the laughter in as I walked to the door. When my shoulders shook, he reached me before I reached the door.

“What’s wrong?” He turned me around just as I began to laugh. “Uh, what’s funny?”

He took a couple of steps back as if I’d lost my mind. I clamped my teeth down on my lips, trying hard to keep it all inside, but the laugher kept bubbling out in giggles. It really wasn’t that funny, but I couldn’t stop.

He narrowed his eyes, but it was hard for him to keep a straight face no matter how hard he tried. “What is so funny?”

I couldn’t contain it anymore. I laughed hard and loud and soon tears were streaming down my face. “Oh, God.” I held my side and laughed more.

Tim was getting a little pissed since he didn’t know what or who I was laughing at. “Is there something on my face?” He brushed his hand over his face, which made what I was laughing at even funnier. I reached out to hold on to him as I laughed hard, but fell to the floor when he stepped back. I kept laughing.

“I don’t know what is wrong with you, but you can do this out there.” He tried to step over me the same time as I tried to sit up, causing him to lose his balance and land on the floor next to me. “Goddammit!”

I lay back and wiped my eyes, but it was no use. I kept laughing. I stopped the second he crawled on top of me and pinned my arms above my head.

“What is so fucking funny?”

I shook my head. “I’m not laughing.”

“You were. I’m not letting you up until you tell me what it was.”

I looked into his eyes and wished for more light moments with him. It had been too long since I laughed that hard. The release felt wonderful, but I knew it would be short-lived.

He adjusted his hips to fit between my legs better. I shouldn’t have, but I moved a little to make more room for him. He lowered his face to mine and spoke softly. “What was so funny?”

I smiled, not wanting to answer so I could’ve spent a little more time under him like that, but knowing I needed to get up for my own sanity. I would’ve spent the rest of the night crying for different reasons.

He let go of one of my wrists to wipe the tears off my face. “What was so funny?”

“You told Hank he had a dirty ass.”

“What?” He backed his head away. “When did I tell him that?”

“When you told him it wasn’t sanitary to sit on my desk.”

He looked at my lips and back up to my eyes. “And that was hysterical to you?”

“It was if you saw his face after you said it.”

One corner of his mouth pulled up. I longed for a full smile. His smile could get me to do anything. I brought the hand he let go up and held the side of his face as I ran my thumb against his lips. “What happened to us?”

His eyes were no longer soft and pierced right through me. I took my hand away. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but I braced myself for something the new Tim would say. I never expected the simple answer.

“You left me.” He got up and went back to his desk.

I sat up and looked at him, missing the weight of him on me. “I left you? What did you think I was going to do, Tim?”

“So, this is my fault? Okay, fine. I’ll take the full blame. You can fuck off and leave again now.”

“This.” I stood. “This right here is exactly why I can’t be in the same room with you. You are two different people, and I never know which one I’m going to get.”

He stood and stormed over to me. “You always got me. Always! You may not have liked the me you saw, but I was always myself with you, and if you can’t handle it or if you don’t think I fit into some perfect mold you think I should be, then just fucking go already!”

He got into my face. “But why stop at just leaving my bed? Why are you here every day to put up with the asshole you hate so much? Why? Why not just leave everything? I’ll send you your check from your half of the company every quarter and you can be a silent partner like you were in our relationship!”

“Silent? Silent!” I shoved him. “I begged you to talk to me. I begged you to get things out in the open, and all you would do was grunt and beat your chest that you, the almighty Tim, was fine. I knew you weren’t fine. I knew we weren’t fine and I begged you to talk. Just like I have to beg you to give me an opinion on the roof bids.”

“You want my opinion?” He stormed over to the folder I brought in and opened it. “No, this one did a shitty job across town at another business.” He picked it up and ripped it in half. He held the other two up. “I know nothing about either of these. Which one did you want to go with?”

I tried to control my shaking, but it was no use. He could see it when I pointed to the company I wanted.

He crumpled it in his hand and tossed it in my face. He placed the one I didn’t choose back into the folder and handed it back to me. “That’s the one we go with. Happy?”

He went back to his desk and pounded his fingers on his keyboard. I bent down and picked up the paper that bounced off my face when he threw it at me. Like hell I was going to call the one he chose.

I walked back out to my desk and tried to flatten the paper as much as possible. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get the kinks out and started to sob. I couldn’t work like that anymore. Something had to change and I was done asking him permission.