Chapter 28 – Brian
The stadium was almost empty by the time I’d showered and changed after the game. It had been a good game. I’d made some great plays, if I do say so myself, and so had Hanson and some other teammates.
A win always left everyone in high spirits, and I felt ready for the season. My fitness was on point, and coach was happy.
But my mind hadn’t been on football for most of the day. Sure, I’d given it my all in the game because my team deserved that from me, but a part of me had kept going to the seats on the thirty-five-yard line, wondering if Sadie was there, watching me.
I would know in a couple of minutes if she had come. I hoped sincerely that she would, and I had a feeling that she would be at the program booth where I’d asked her to meet me. It was the easiest thing for her to find.
When I reached the program booth, she wasn’t there. I had told her to go to the one at the northeast gate. To be sure she hadn’t gotten the wrong booth, I went to all four of them.
She wasn’t waiting for me at any one of them. There was no way that she could be late. She would have been waiting since the game ended. She hadn’t come.
Disappointment tugged at me. I’d really believed that she would come. I had wanted her to come. I needed to talk to her about everything. I wanted to make it all right again.
I fished my phone out of her bag and called her.
“Where are you?” I asked. A part of me hoped that she would tell me she was somewhere in the stadium and she didn’t know how to get to me. I looked out over the green field.
“I’m at home,” she said, and my heart sank to my shoes.
“Oh,” I said.
“I’m sorry.”
I shook my head, even though she couldn’t see me.
“I know that the articles might be right,” she said.
I frowned. She had my attention.
“What do you mean?”
She sighed. “I mean, I’m starting to realize that maybe they pretty much say what’s been going on. I’ve been so angry, but I didn’t look at it and think that this is really what it looks like. That I’m doing all this to you.”
I shook my head. “Don’t do this,” I said. “I don’t even read them anymore because they come up with ridiculous stories.”
“Not this time,” she said. “I’m sorry. I came to the game to see you. But I realized what was happening, what I was doing, and I can’t keep going like this.”
What the hell was happening?
“So, at first you reject me because of what I’m doing to you, and now you’re rejecting me because of what you’re doing to me?”
“It sounds terrible when you lay it out like that. At least I realized what was going on.”
“That’s all fine,” I said. I was getting angry. “You’re having a little trip of realization, and I’m grateful for that. But no matter what you decide the reason is, you’re still pushing me away. I’m still the one that’s being rejected. Your revelation still leaves me without you.”
She was quiet. I didn’t know where that had come from, but it was the truth. It was how I felt. Did I care about the why? Did it matter to me why she kept pushing me away? It probably should have, but it didn’t. I just wanted to be with her.
“Brian,” she said, and she sounded tired.
“Look, meet me at High Rock. You know where that is, right?”
“The place where I had my accident,” she said.
“Right. They won’t get photos of us there. Will you meet me?”
I waited for her to turn me down again, but to my surprise, she agreed.
“Okay,” she said tentatively.
Yes.
Now just to make sure we could meet there soon, so she couldn’t go changing her mind on me, yet again.
“One hour,” I said and hung up.
***
I wasn’t at High Rock for very long before Sadie arrived. I had entertained the idea for a moment that she would stand me up, but then the cab arrived, and she got out. Her hair was tied back, and she wore a light jacket with her jeans. I was still in my post-game tracksuit.
“Come with me,” I said. I held out my hand, and we walked across the rocks, jumping from one to the next, until we reached the large, flat rock where everything changed.
“Do you remember this place?” I asked.
She walked onto the flat rock and out toward the place where she’d lost her balance and fell. She looked down, and I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. I hoped to God something would come back. I willed her to remember something, anything.
When she turned around, she looked apologetic.
“I know this is where the accident happened, but I don’t remember more than that.”
I sighed. I was going to have to let go of the past completely, wasn’t I? Her memories probably weren’t going to come back. I needed to get over that and move on.
I walked to her and pulled her against me. She looked surprised, but she let me hold her.
“Will you give me one more chance?” I asked. “I can’t promise that you won’t end up in the paper, and I can’t forget everything like it never happened. It was too special to me. But I want to try again. I’m not asking for anything more than a chance. If it doesn’t work, well, we tried.”
I was nervous of what she would say. Her gray eyes looked stormy against the blue skies behind us, and the wind whipped her hair around her face. She looked older and younger, all at the same time.
“Okay,” she said.
“Okay?” I’d half expected her to say no.
“Yeah,” she said. “I’ll try.”
I was wary. What if she pulled away from me again? What if she decided she didn’t want to do this after all? But I was relieved and excited that she’d agreed.
“Come home with me,” I said. “Let’s just hang out.”
She nodded and smiled at me, and this time, I think she meant it.