Chapter 9
Malcolm
Ginger looked genuinely happy to see me. My eyes took in her beautiful form. The blue shorts she wore were surprisingly short, stopping just below the curve of her thighs. Her T-shirt fit loosely, but did nothing to hide the generous swell of her breasts.
After everything had happened, she’d taken her modest clothing to a new level, opting to be fully covered at all times. She’d worn nothing but sweatpants and long sleeved shirts, even in the dead of summer, for a full year.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
I put Shawn down, and he walked off toward the living room. “Why do most men stare at a beautiful woman?” I asked, wrapping my arms around her waist.
“Because they’re pervs,” she replied playfully, reaching behind her to pry my hands free.
“Because they appreciate what they see,” I corrected, trapping her hands beneath mine. Her hair was damp, and mostly plastered to her head minus a few strands that curled at the end. The soft, cherry blossom scent was more pronounced now since she’d just showered. I couldn’t help but let my mind wander to an image of her standing naked under the water, soaping her delicious body. Leaning down, I gave in to the overwhelming urge to kiss her.
She tensed; pulling her hands free, she gave a gentle push against my chest. I broke from the kiss, rested my forehead against hers, and let out a quiet sigh.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
I took a deep breath before stepping back to give her space. “Don’t be.”
Ginger turned her attention down the hall when we heard the sound of toys being spilled onto the floor, followed by Shawn’s babbling. Taking her chin in my hands, I turned her attention back to me.
“We’re taking things at your pace, Ginger, but I will probably slip up every once in a while. You make it hard not to.” I gave her a smile that would hopefully erase the worried expression on her face. “Like right now. Those shorts…they are driving me crazy.”
She immediately started pulling at them. “What’s wrong with them?”
“Only the fact that they make me want to double palm your ass and give it a squeeze.”
Her face turned red. “Sorry, I’ll change.”
“Don’t you dare. I will gladly look, but not touch.”
The sound of more toys being dumped took her attention away. “I’d better check on him before he makes a bigger mess.”
I followed her to the living room and allowed myself unrestricted gawking of her ass. It was a perfect, tight little ass, with that perky upturn. A delicious juicy booty. Fuck! These days it took very little to get me worked up. Her back being turned helped; it gave me time to adjust myself.
Entering the room, I saw that Shawn had indeed managed to dump out his bin of toys. He looked up and beamed as his mom approached him. He handed her one of the toys.
“Oh, congrats on getting the house,” she said, turning to look at me as she took a seat on the floor.
I didn’t have to wonder how she knew. It wouldn’t have even dawned on Macy that I would’ve wanted to be the one to tell Ginger. I loved my sister, but she tried my patience with all her nosy, mother henning.
I moved to join them on the floor. “Thanks. Now comes the home inspections and getting insurance and all the other fun stuff, but you know how it is.”
No matter how many times I’d come here, I never got used to how formal this place felt. It had changed a little with the addition of the baby stuff, but for the most part it felt stuffy, like it was all for show, and not for really living.
“Yeah,” she said. A smile tugged at her lips. “Buying my little bungalow was a headache, but the sense of accomplishment I had the day I closed couldn’t be beat. You’ll see.” A fleeting sadness shadowed her face.
I remembered her old place. It had fit her personality more than this current house.
“Speaking of closings, mine is currently scheduled next month, on your birthday. You won’t mind giving up a few hours of your day, will you?”
Shawn crawled through his mess to sit in her lap. “You want me there?”
“Without a doubt. Look, you’ve made it clear you feel like things are moving too fast, but I still want to share that experience with you. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less.”
She smiled and nodded. “I’ll be happy to be there.”
My fingers played with the hair at the base of her neck while she talked to Shawn. When he crawled off, she moved to sit on the couch.
“So, Macy said you went out last night,” she commented as she played with the wheels of the car she held in her hands.
I pushed myself up onto the couch. “Yeah. G showed up and wanted to go out, so I took him to Reign.”
“You have fun?” She looked over her shoulder at me. There was a weird tone to her voice, and I couldn’t tell if she was pissed or not. I could only imagine what Macy’s version of the night’s events were.
“Not really. I could think of better ways to spend my Saturday night. And with better company.” I placed my hand on the small of her back, letting my thumb stroke the small amount of exposed flesh. She jerked away and pulled her shirt down in the process.
“Mal…”
“Don’t apologize to me again.” The words came out in an unintentional clipped tone.
Her leg started bouncing, and she kept her focus on the toy car in her hand until Shawn came over to take it, offering instead a cardboard book. She picked him up and proceeded to read him Brown Bear, Brown Bear for about two pages before he squirmed to get down again.
“Have you thought about what will happen when we don’t work out?” she asked, keeping her eyes focused on Shawn.
“You said that like you know us not working is a sure thing. Like you’ve planned on us not working out.”
Ginger swiveled so that she faced me, pulling her legs up onto the couch and folded them across each other. “No, it’s not that. I’m…look today when I was with Macy she told me how she didn’t really want this, us to happen.”
“Serious? Why can’t she just stay the hell out of shit?”
“S’it.” Shawn mimicked what I’d said. Luckily he got the word wrong. Ginger gave me a warning look.
It pissed me off hearing Macy had done exactly what I’d asked her not to do. Getting Ginger to agree to date me had already been hard enough with her fear of relationships, I didn’t need Macy adding to that. Ginger came up with plenty of reasons on her own why this wouldn’t work.
“Don’t be mad at her, Mal. She’s just concerned.”
“No what she is, is a fu...freaking nosy, busy body who has to be in the middle of everything.”
Pulling her knees to her chest, Ginger took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have phrased it as a certain thing,” she whispered. “It’s just…you and Macy have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. After…everything, I thought I’d lost my friendship with her, and that hurt. I…I’m just worried that if we can’t…I just don’t want to jeopardize my friendship with her, or you.”
Her fingers traced along the stitching of the cushion as she spoke. Reaching over, I took her hand, and she looked up at me. My thumb ran across the bumpy surface of the ring while I tried to come up with an answer for her concerns.
“Stop thinking so much about the what-ifs and all the things that could go wrong with us and put that energy into their being an us.” I brought her hand to my lips, and gave the palm a soft kiss. “I’m committed to you and making this work. If you’re committed to the same thing, there’s no way we can fail.”
I waited on her to say something, to confirm that she was as committed to this as I was, instead she avoided my gaze.
“Are you committed, Ginger?”
Silence.
She looked up at me, her lips pressed tightly together. She took slow, steady breaths as the seconds ticked on. Her non-answer was answer enough. I started to get off the couch, but then I felt her hand on my arm.
“Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean ‘why’?”
“You said you’d be patient with me.” Her voice held an accusatory tone.
“And I would be, but you don’t want to be here. Unlike him, I won’t make you stay in a relationship you don’t want.”
I hated bringing up that bastard, and I could see from the hurt expression on her face, she didn’t like it either. I knew, deep down, that the idea of a relationship freaked her out, but if only one of us wanted this, it wouldn’t work.
“You said I was planning for a future you weren’t sure you wanted, so I’m asking you now. What do you want? To end things before they get started?”
She stared off in the direction of where Shawn sat. “How many times have you been in love?”
“Once.”
She looked over and gave me a fleeting ghost smile. “Well, I’ve been in love twice. Both times they hurt me.”
“You think I don’t know that. I do. I was there, remember?”
“No, Malcolm, you don’t know. I’ve loved two men. I’ve been hurt by two men. My track record is oh-and-two, so…”
I took her hands in mine, trying my best to ignore the disheartening feeling that came over me when she said only twice. “So, third time’s the charm.” I reached out to touch her cheek. “I’m here for you, Ginger. Be it good, bad, or ugly. I’m with you. I just need to know you want me here.”
Shawn came over, and she pulled her hands free of mine to pick him up. She gave him a kiss on his head before bringing her attention back to me.
“I do want you around. There’s just so much happening, and I’m trying my best to adjust. I’m sorry if I’m not acting like you expect me to right now.”
“The only thing I expect is for you to be honest with me. Nothing less, and nothing more.”
She smoothed down the hair on Shawn’s head. “I’m trying.”
I wanted to argue that being honest with me shouldn’t be something she had to try to do, but I let it go. I was starting to realize I had to pick my battles with her, and this wasn’t one I wanted to fight. She said she wanted me around, so I was going to take that as another step in the right direction.