Emelie
Me: He’s here!
Palmer: Who is he? And he is where?
Me: He is Clayton, ER guy, and where is the laundromat. As in the same place I am and the same place Ethan is.
Palmer: And?
Me: And Ethan managed to wander off and who do you think he found? Not just that, he stole his earbuds, and I found them sharing them as they were listening to music. Now, my son is safely tucked into Clayton’s lap as they again listen to music. Together!
Palmer: Aww
Me: ??
Me: THAT’S IT!!!
Palmer: How sweet
Me: You are not helping.
Suddenly my phone was vibrating in my hands with an incoming call from Palmer. “Yes,” I said in a hushed whisper as I looked over the washers and spotted Clayton holding Ethan as he swayed from side to side, as if grooving to whatever song played.
“What are they doing?” she asked, and I felt my chest ache with the sight before me.
“They’re dancing.” The words seemed to burn my throat.
“Are you kidding me?” I could almost see Palmer with that awed look on her face. It mirrored what I was now feeling. “I wanna see.”
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?” she barked. “Show me or I’ll come down there and see it in person.”
“You are such a brat,” I said as I pulled the phone from my ear and switched to video chat. I turned the camera and suddenly it was filled with Clayton and Ethan.
“Oh, my hell,” Palmer whispered, and I turned down the speaker low. “That has got to be the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen, Em. Not to mention my ovaries are pulsating from the sight. My lord, woman, he is a hunk.”
I lowered the phone and turned off the camera, changing it back to a normal phone call. “What are the chances that I end up here at the same time as him? And that Ethan wandered right up to him, of all people?”
“Fate.”
“Knock it off with the fate shit.” It was my turn to bark at her. “I’m being serious, Palmer, this is bad.”
“Why is it so bad? He likes kids, your kid to be exact, and he likes you.”
“You are not helping,” I said, almost in a plea.
“You want my help, fine,” she said, and suddenly I felt confident until she spoke again. “Stop being a wuss, stop hiding behind the damn washers, and go join them. For once, stop analyzing every damn second and instead enjoy the moment.”
I heard a click and pulled the phone from my ear, only to find she’d ended the call.
“What the hell?” I mumbled to myself.
I took in a deep breath and looked back toward Clayton and Ethan, unable to hold back my smile. Ethan had his head tilted back, looking up at Clayton. Clayton’s mouth was moving, his head shifting around, I imagined to the beat of the music, and I swear my knees almost buckled beneath me. Was he actually singing to my son?
Tears sprung to my eyes and for a moment, I couldn’t register how to take my next breath. Before the moment passed, I lifted my phone once more and hit the camera, snapping a couple of pictures. I felt like some type of creeper but I didn’t care.
I tucked my phone back in my pocket, and picked up my bag that contained all Ethan’s and my things. I hurried to gather my dry clothes into the large, rolling basket and moved in the direction of my son. As I got closer, I could hear Clayton’s soothing voice and I swear, in that second, my heart melted. I paused in the center of the aisle, my hands resting on the basket, I think more to hold myself upright than anything else.
Just then, Clayton looked up and saw me standing there. I’m sure I had a lost expression on my face. I saw his lips move, saying the word “mommy” just before Ethan looked toward me too. Both of them smiled back at me, and I found that my chest heaved as I did my very best to hold myself together.
With one foot in front of the other, I began to walk in their direction, forcing a smile. “You boys look like you’re grooving along nicely.”
“Just introducing little man to my favorite tunes.” I arched my brow and Clayton chuckled. “Hey bud, let Momma hear.” He pulled the earbud from his ear and passed it to me. I took it, kneeling and lifting it to my ear. I attempted to swallow past the lump that formed in my throat.
The tone was mellow, not the kind that made your ears hurt, it was soothing. It wasn’t what I had pictured when I thought of Clayton, not even close. When Ethan started to move his head from side to side, much like I’d seen the two of them do a few minutes ago, I joined him without a second thought. He giggled loudly and reached out to touch my cheek, and I leaned in closer to his touch. Of course, this only brought me even closer to Clayton and closer to his piercing eyes.
“What do you think, am I a bad influence?” The question was a loaded one and I wasn’t sure if he meant was he bad for me or my son.
“I’m still trying to decide,” I told him, trying to keep a straight face, only the moment he flashed that boyish grin of his I couldn’t fight it. “I imagine that grin gets you a lot of attention.”
“Are you trying to say, Emelie, that you like my grin?”
“I’m not answering that.” I stood once more and moved toward the table at his side, folding laundry and ignoring the way he watched me from the side. I was careful to keep my undergarments hidden as I didn’t need comments about my less than sexy panties and mismatching bras. Those weren’t a necessity; diapers were.
“Mommy can’t admit that I’m not such a bad guy, Ethan.” I heard him talking to my son, though he was talking much louder than he needed to. “She thought I was such a self-centered frat boy, but I think she’s starting to realize I’m not. Maybe you can help a fellow guy out here and later when you two are alone, put in a good word for me. What do ya think, bud, can you do that?”
I looked over just as Clayton leaned in closer to Ethan with his fist out and grabbed his little fist, bumping them together. “Thanks, little dude.” Ethan looked up at Clayton, completely oblivious to what he was saying to him or even what it meant.
Then Ethan did something that almost broke me. He reached up and touched Clayton’s cheek much like he did mine and Palmer’s, then he giggled. My chest heaved, my heart raced, and I felt like I would literally burst from the emotions. My hands shook as I continued to fold one item after the next.
When folding was done and I had nothing left to do with my hands, I dug through my bag to find the snacks I’d brought to keep Ethan happy. Teddy Grahams, fruit gummies, and a juice.
I took in a deep breath, bit the bullet, and sat down at Clayton’s side. Trying to ignore the way his arm pressed against mine was hard considering he only managed to lean in closer when he noticed me next to him. And when I say he leaned in closer, I don’t mean just his shoulder. He turned toward me, letting his head tilt my way. I swear each breath he took echoed in my mind.
“Ethan,” I said, holding a tiny bear between my fingers. “Buddy, are you hungry?” I was practically begging my son to pay attention to me and stop idolizing the man who held him.
I held the bear closer and kind of shook it in between him and Clayton where he was still staring. Please just eat the thing and give us all something new to focus on.
“Ethan,” I said his name once more, and before I could register what was happening, Clayton wrapped his lips around the tips of my fingers and consumed the teddy graham. “Num num,” he said to Ethan, yet he was looking at me. “That’s yummy.”
Again I felt my body grow weak, only this time for an entirely different reason.