Catherine
Reality sucked. It was that simple.
I wanted to remain in bed with Eli and forget the life I had outside those four walls. He was my happy place. Much like the one I felt all those years ago, with the exception of the intimacy, he gave me that safe place to hold on to.
I crawled out of bed slowly, doing my best not to wake him, and made my way downstairs. The keys to the van Xavier had driven us in were on the counter. Grabbing them, I began moving toward the front door when someone questioned me from behind.
“What’s with the walk of shame?”
I spun around with my hand pressed tightly to my chest and came face to face with Isaac.
“Oh my god, you scared me.” I took in a deep breath to ease my racing heart. “I’m not walking away in shame, I’m doing my best not to wake up everyone in the house.” Lifting the hand that held the keys, I shook them. “I need to get my things and get home. I have to work later.”
“Scared if you let him know you were leaving he wouldn’t let you?”
The look on my face must have expressed the truth because Isaac chuckled before holding out his hand for the keys. “Come on, I’ll help you grab your stuff.”
After my bag was in my trunk and I was in my car, I rolled down the window and waved to Isaac in thanks.
“Thanks for leaving me with the cranky bear.”
I knew he was referring to Eli and the fact that he would most likely be moody after I snuck off. I expected him to call me when he woke up.
Less than fifteen minutes later I was pulling into my driveway to find Carl’s Honda Civic gone. I’d wished my mother was gone too, but no such luck. There she sat in her regular space at the end of the couch, a cigarette in one hand and her famous orange juice with what I was sure was plenty of vodka mixed in too.
“Look who finally showed up,” she sneered as she leaned forward and flicked her ashes on the coffee table, completely missing the ashtray. She did nothing to clean it up. “You know he’s pissed?”
I already knew who she meant. “Who?”
“You know who.” Lifting her cup to her lips she took a generous drink. “He’s been asking about your check. It’s Tuesday, and you get it on Monday.”
“I know when I get my check, Mother.”
I moved through the living room toward my room and avoided the words she mumbled from behind. The problem was she decided to follow me, not allowing me to escape.
“He’s gonna be mad as hell when he finds out that you’ve been gone the last few days and haven’t been working.” When I looked at her with a blank stare, she laughed. “I wasn’t about to tell him you were gone camping. He just figured you were staying at a friend’s or something. You can break the news to him.”
“Maybe he should get a job.” I turned away from her, knowing she was gearing up for a fight.
“Or maybe you should accept your responsibilities.”
I don’t know what came over me. Normally I ignored her shit but I guess knowing it was only her and me, I saw it as a chance to fight back.
“My responsibilities?” She flinched in surprise when I spun around and stepped closer. “What about yours as a mother? What about his as a man? What kind of piece of shit lives off his stepdaughter and forces his wife to be a whore?”
It happened before I had time to register it. A burning sensation covered my cheek when her palm smacked against it.
“You little bitch.” I could feel the spittle hitting my cheek as I looked down, still shocked.
“I give you all I can, and it still isn’t enough. He’s a loser and you know it.” Then I lifted my gaze to meet hers. “On second thought, I guess you don’t know that. You’re a loser too.”
That time when she lifted her hand I pushed my own out to stop her. The look of surprise covering her face felt empowering.
I don’t know where the sudden streak of rebelliousness came from but it hit me like a surge of energy. “You’ve always blamed me for your problems, said it was me that led you on the path you’re on, but it was you. You’re the one to blame. You chose to be a stripper and to sell yourself for your next bottle of liquor, not me.”
“Not yet.”
“Not ever,” I assured her. “I will never be like you. You’re pathetic.”
We stared at one another as if we were having some type of standoff, neither one of us backing down. Suddenly she pushed my hand away and spun around, leaving my room.
My heart beat so fast my chest ached, but for once I felt strong. That was until I looked in the mirror over my dresser to find the corner of my lip split and bleeding.
A defeated feeling took over when I realized how hard something like that would be to hide. I knew the only thing it meant was avoiding Elijah and avoiding work. Which meant I’d have to lie.
***
I called into work and Morgan answered the phone. I wasn’t aware I was talking funny due to my lip until she mentioned it.
“You don’t sound okay,” she insisted for the third time. “Did you secretly get your tongue pierced or something? Because Marcus tried that once and only wore it for two days before he decided it wasn’t worth it.”
“No, my tongue is not pierced, but my throat is sore and my head is pounding.”
“Have you spoken with Red?”
“No.” My heart began to feel as if it was hammering in my chest. “Why?”
“Xavier said they were coming in for pizza tonight and I think we both know the reason they truly come in is so that they can spend time with us.”
True. I mean no one could really eat pizza that often, could they?
“I’ll call him,” I assured her, only I didn’t. After I hung up the phone I sat down on the floor next to my bed and lifted the edge of my mattress. Just beneath it was the envelope where I had been stashing my money. I grabbed my bag and placed it inside, thinking it was time I found a safer place for it—like the bank.
I remained sitting on the floor, tucking my legs upward as I wrapped my arms around them and lay my head upon my knees. I got lost in the memories of my weekend away with Eli, because those thoughts were much better than what had taken place in the last couple of hours.
Maybe I should have stayed in bed with him.
I don’t know how long I sat there in that same spot until the sound of my phone ringing got my full attention.
I should have expected the call to come in. Elijah wasn’t the type of guy to let me be; he was invested and focused. On most days that was an amazing feeling but today I just needed my space. I couldn’t let him find out what took place; it was bad enough that Marcus had somehow figured things out. His reaction was extremely mellow compared with what I assumed Eli’s would be. I pictured a wild beast in search of the enemy to seek and destroy.
I wouldn’t let him ruin his future over people like my mother or Carl.
I’d get away soon.
When I didn’t answer it didn’t surprise me that the phone immediately began to ring again.
Taking one deep, calming breath, I answered my phone, doing my best to hide the soreness of my lip that was reflected through my voice.
“Hi.” I chose a hoarse whisper to shadow the pain of my split and swollen lip.
“Hey babe.” I closed my eyes and focused on his voice alone. It amazed me just how his voice alone gave me a safe feeling inside. “I went to Porter’s to see you, but Morgan said you’d called in sick.”
His voice was laced with concern.
“Yeah,” I winced when I realized I’d forgotten to be cautious of my lip. I lowered my voice and focused once again on slow, soft whispers. “I wasn’t feeling well. My throat’s bothering me.”
“Can I do anything? Maybe bring you something warm or just be there so you can snuggle up close?” My eyes closed as I wished at that moment more than anything he was there to hold me. “Or I can come get you and bring you back to my place. I can take care of my girl for as long as she needs me to.”
“I don’t want to give you this. I think it’s better if I wait it out.” I heard him let out a deep breath. “I’m sure I’ll feel better tomorrow.” I knew I’d have to come up with another excuse then, but for now I just needed to get through the night.
A loud slam echoed through the house and I froze when I heard Carl’s voice in the other room. My breathing picked up when I realized I was still on the phone with Eli.
“Listen, I’m gonna go.” Carl’s voice got louder like it was getting closer.
“Who was that?” Eli asked just as my bedroom door burst open.
“Listen, I’ll call you back.”
I didn’t wait for him to end the call; I couldn’t. That meant risking he would hear much more than he needed to.
“Where’s your check?”
“I didn’t get it yet.” I had intended to get it that night only I couldn’t go in looking the way I did.
He stood in the open doorway staring at me with an angry look on his face. I figured he was attempting to intimidate me before he’d finally turn to leave, but he didn’t. Instead he began digging through my dresser drawers, my closet, any space he could find.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I stood from the bed and backed myself against the wall.
He grabbed the edge of the mattress and with one heaving push, he flipped it up and over. He was breathing heavy, as if the actions had worn him out. “Where is it?”
“Where’s what?”
He looked crazed, almost out of control. I’d never seen him like this before, not this bad anyway.
He focused on something at my feet and I followed his gaze. My heart felt like it stopped. I know I held my breath when I saw the envelope I had just stuffed in my bag only moments ago stuck out of the top of my overturned purse.
We both moved at the same time and when he reached out to shove me away, I fell into the nightstand. My shoulder took the majority of the impact and for a moment I was sure it had to be broken. The pain was excruciating.
“You’ve been hiding it.” I looked up, seeing Carl thumb through the money in the envelope with his eyes lit up in excitement. “There has to be close to eight hundred dollars here.”
“It’s mine,” I stated as I climbed off the floor. I knew squaring off with him would most definitely end worse than it had with my mother, but he was holding my freedom in his hands and I wanted it back.
I lunged, then everything shifted.