Emelie
“Maybe I shouldn’t go.” I fidgeted with the hem of my much too short dress again. It was Palmer’s idea to wear it and I guess I thought if I continued to tug it, I would somehow gain an inch or two at the bottom. “I should just stay home and tell him to go alone.”
“Which you know he won’t because he already said he wants you there,” Palmer told me again for what felt like the nine-hundredth time. Maybe it wasn’t really nine hundred, but at least ten times for sure. “It’s a party to celebrate both his and his brother’s birthday. You’ve gotta be there.”
“I just feel bad leaving Ethan.”
“Nope, because he’s with me. It’s not like you’re leaving him with some random stranger, so try again.” Palmer called me out at every turn.
“It’s the first party I’ve been to since—” I paused, feeling that nausea return to my stomach.
“This is not the same.” Palmer yanked me down onto the mattress to sit beside her. “Clayton is there and you trust him. Plus, you don’t have to drink. It’s nowhere close to being the same.”
I knew she was right, yet it didn’t ease the feelings I had inside me. I wasn’t a party girl anymore. This just reminded me of the days I had vowed to leave behind. I guess somehow I led myself to believe that if I’d gone to a party, it was going backward in life instead of forward. Like I was letting down my parents in some way, or even Ethan.
“It’s at his place with all his friends,” Palmer added as she bumped my shoulder with her own. “Go, have fun, meet the people he calls his brothers, his family. Be involved in his life too, because that guy is all about you and yours. He’s in this with you so heavy, I see it every time he’s here. When he’s with you and Ethan, you’d never guess he wasn’t here from the start.”
She was right. In the beginning I’d questioned every action, wondering if there was a reason besides simply wanting to be with us. But now, I could honestly say Clayton cared for us without wanting anything in return but our attention.
“Okay,” I finally said, taking in a deep breath and standing up once more. Of course, the first thing I did was tug on my skirt. Palmer reached out and slapped my hand away, giving me her best glare. “Will you leave the skirt alone? My god, you granny. It’s covering your goodies, and even if you bend over, you’re still good. The guy is gonna love this outfit and you need to own the fact that you have great legs.”
I scrunched up my face and gave her my best “eww” look.
“Please, like you’ve never looked at my ass in a pair of jeans and said, ‘hmm, her butt looks good in those pants.’” I tried not to laugh. “We all do it, it’s part of being a girl. In no way does it mean I’m willing to go in that direction, but I can appreciate a hot girl when one is in front of me.”
She waved me off, picked up Ethan from where he was playing on the floor, and left me alone with my lingering thoughts. I felt better, but I was still nervous.
I grabbed my keys and phone and followed behind them, pausing one last time to look at myself in the mirror. I did look really great. Dressing up wasn’t something I’d done often, and it made me feel pretty.
Ethan’s laughter was the first thing I was met with as I entered the living room. Palmer stood next to him as they both danced to the Elmo movie playing on T.V. I swear I could practically recite every Elmo video we had, word for word.
“Buddy, can I get a hug?”
He peeked around Palmer’s legs as I knelt down on the floor. Within seconds he was running for me and dove into my arms like a football player going in for a tackle. I shook my head, thinking he’d been watching too much football on Sundays with Clayton. “I love you,” I said, kissing the top of his head as I held him close.
“Lub you,” he replied, and I got that crazy warm fuzzy feeling I got every time he said it.
“Be a good boy for Aunt P, and keep your diaper on.” He giggled and started shaking his head “no” as he tried to move away from me. “Yes.” I tickled his tummy and he fell to the floor, wiggling all around.
Up and ready to leave, I paused at the door to look at him one last time and watched as he once again got absorbed in his movie.
“Bye, Mommy.” Palmer waved, still wiggling her butt to the beat. “I got this. Have fun and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’ll be home to—”
“Tomorrow,” she interrupted. “Bye.” Turning her back to me, she ignored me completely and for a few seconds I grew emotional. She was amazing, hands down the best person I could have asked for as a best friend. She loved my son something fierce and was more loyal to me than even my own parents. I adored her, heart and soul.
I forced myself to move forward, using the drive over to Clayton’s house to build myself up. I could do this, I knew I could. I just had to dive in head first and get over this small speed bump. After that I would be golden for sure.
Parking was a challenge, but when I finally found a space I gathered my things and started for the house. I ignored the lingering looks of a few guys I’d passed on my way up the front steps and in through the front door. The music wasn’t over the top loud, but it grew louder as I got deeper into the house. That was when I saw him, his back to me. A red hat was on his head, and he wore jeans that hugged his ass. I paused for a second, just watching as he interacted with a few guys. There was a girl a couple of feet away, watching him closely, and the need to announce to her and any other girl interested that he was mine hit me.
I squared my shoulders, channeled Palmer and her “take no shit” attitude, and moved across the room toward Clayton. Reaching out, I touched his waist and when he turned to look at me, I reached up and grabbed for the back of his neck, pulling him in close. His lips met mine and he moaned. Something was off, but I figured it was the element of surprise. I did practically just attack him.
He didn’t hold onto me like he usually does when we kiss, that gentle grasp of my hip, while his other hand combed through my hair. Instead he securely wrapped both arms around me, pulling me in close and tight. “Well, hello,” he said huskily, and I pulled back, just looking up at him. Something was off, like way off. “And you are?”
I just stared at him, lost for a second.
“Not that I’m complaining, sweetheart,” he said again, “but I’m not sure what I did to warrant this sweet attack.”
“Clayton?” I felt my heart race as I slowly looked him over. A mole, he had a mole on his upper lip. It was more like a little freckle or beauty mark, but it was still there. Clayton did not have a freckle.
“What the hell, Corbin?” Suddenly I was being pulled backward and my spine collided with something hard.
“What?” the guy I thought was Clayton said with a laugh as he looked over my shoulder. I followed his line of vision and my heart sank when I saw Clayton behind me. He was seething.
“Oh my god,” I mumbled in shock. Looking back at the guy in front of me, and then to Clayton once more, I hung my head and covered my face.
“Is this Emelie?” I didn’t look up as the two of them carried on and the guys around them laughed at what had just taken place.
“Yes,” Clayton growled.
“Well, hello, Emelie,” the guy purred, the guy I now understood was Clay’s infamous identical twin.
“Corbin,” Clayton said, and I could practically feel the heat flowing off his body as he still held me close.
“I didn’t do anything,” Corbin insisted. “She’s the one that grabbed and kissed me.”
“You kissed him?”
“I thought he was you.” I spun in Clayton’s arms and looked up at him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so pissed off. “I was nervous and I spotted him from the side, so I moved before I had the chance to think.”
Clayton took my hand in his and started to drag me off as his brother pressed his buttons just a little more. “Bye, Em, it was great meeting you, babe.”
I hung my head as I was dragged off. Climbing a flight of stairs, I looked up at Clayton to find him staring straight ahead. Suddenly the only thing I wanted to do was go home and forget the entire night.
We reached a door, and I watched as Clayton unlocked the handle before placing his hand on my back and nudging me inside the room. Once inside, I looked around and could see signs of him all over. Clothes I’d seen him wear tossed here and there, his hats hanging on hooks along one wall. There was a picture of Ethan and me in a frame on the stand next to his bed, next to a monster truck I know Ethan gave to him and told him it was his.
The sound of the door closing behind me prompted me to turn around and face him. He stood with his hands on his hips, his head hung as he looked at the floor. I wasn’t sure if I should try to explain again or leave it alone. I had never felt so torn over what to do before.
When he finally looked up at me, he just stared back at me, his nostrils flaring.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.
“Did you not sense the difference in him compared to me?” he asked as he took a step toward me. “The way he held you, or—” He stopped as he ran his hand through his hair in a frustrated manner.
I took a step toward him and placed my hands on his chest. “Yes, I knew something was off almost immediately.” When he tried to look toward the ground, I slid my hands upward and cupped each side of his jaw, forcing him to look at me. “It was just a simple kiss, nothing more and I knew, I just felt it. He wasn’t you.”
His chest rose and fell and I knew he was fighting against some inner battle. I was just trying to rearrange the words in my head to try and explain it all better, only he didn’t give me the chance. He turned me around and pressed my back to the door behind him before he was on me, his mouth claiming mine in a hard, demanding kiss, erasing the memories of what had just taken place. Clayton conquered our kiss. “This is me,” he growled, “and you are mine.”
I nodded my head, unable to speak because he’d once again kissed me. His body pushed my own toward the wood at my back as he gripped my hips. This was what I’d missed downstairs, that commanding stance, yet delicate. It’s so hard to explain but Clayton was different, he was more.
“That was hard to see,” he confessed, and my heart ached. “I don’t ever wanna see you with another man.” We were silent for a minute, and I still held his face in my hands, looking up at him, our foreheads resting together, his eyes closed.
“I’ve never wanted to kick my brother’s ass before,” Clayton’s words sounded sad, “until now.”
“It was all my fault, and I’m sorry.”
He finally opened his eyes and I waited for him. I needed him to show me this was okay, that we were okay.
“I should’ve picked you up or met you downstairs.” Then he stepped back and I sagged against the door behind me. “In the future, remember that Corbin has a freckle, and his front tooth is chipped from a baseball when we were twelve.”
I nodded my head, still feeling unsure.
“Plus, I’m much cuter.” Then I saw the trace of a smile and the tightness in my chest began to feel a little less overpowering.