Emelie
I gripped his ass, pulling him against me harder and faster. My head was spinning. I swear everything seemed hazy, but it felt so damned good. My toes curled with each thrust of his hips, and I knew my fingernails digging into his flesh had to hurt yet he showed no signs of pain.
“Mm,” I heard him moan into the crook of my neck just before he bit me.
“Clay,” I whimpered, and he released his hold, kissing along my neck and shoulder. His pace would quicken just before he slowed, as if drawing out the pleasure. I didn’t want it to end either; it was too good to stop.
Our bodies slick with sweat, he lifted his body off mine and looked directly at me. “You’re amazing,” he groaned, pumping his hips again. I could feel myself building once more, and at that point I wasn’t sure I could survive another orgasm. My body felt weak and battered, but nothing had ever felt better. “I don’t wanna stop.”
“Me either, like ever.”
Dipping his face to mine, he kissed me, mimicking the movements of his cock inside me with his tongue, a gentle entanglement that made the intensity of the moment overpowering. “You’re everything, Em.” I closed my eyes tightly, fighting off the emotions inside me. “My everything.”
Just when I thought I’d gained some control he went in for the kill.
“I’ll always want you, and him. That will never change.”
My body ignited and I arched off the mattress, gripping his shoulders so tight he winced. With three hard thrusts, he tensed and moaned as he bit his lower lip. Slow and steady he moved out and in one more time before resting his body over mine once more.
Together we lay perfectly still, taking one deep breath after another.
Clayton Powell had ruined me, but in the best possible way. I was without a doubt, completely and uncontrollably, in love with him. It no longer scared me; instead, it freed me.
***
I left Clayton’s house after a long and very heated kiss as he held me captive against my car. He knew it too, as he tucked me inside my car and stepped back with a smirk. I had a feeling I’d released some type of arrogant beast inside him that would only manage to torture me at every turn.
When I pulled up at my apartment, I grabbed my things and realized I’d left my phone at his place. I thought of turning back around to get it but didn’t know if I’d be able to walk away from him a second time. I’d just use Palmer’s phone to call him and have him bring it over later after I had some time to recover from our night.
I entered my apartment feeling high on life and where everything had led me, and froze the moment I stepped inside. There on the couch sat my father, a displeased look on his face. Palmer was in the kitchen, feeding Ethan in a chair and she looked almost frightened as she looked up at me.
“It’s so nice of you to finally find your way home, Emelie.” My father regained my full attention. Suddenly I felt very small in his presence. “By your appearance, I’d be safe to assume that you’ve been out all night, reliving your past mistakes. Will I be supporting a second child in nine months?”
“It’s not like that.”
My father had always managed to make me feel so small, so inadequate. I’d spent my life trying to be who he wanted me to be, to live up to the standards he felt fit. But it was never good enough; I was never good enough.
“It’s exactly what it looks like.” He stood from the couch and stepped in my direction. “I came here hoping to find that my daughter had somehow grown up. Maybe she’d be a responsible adult for a change, taking care of those past mistakes that are now her obligations.”
I felt like he’d just kicked me in the stomach because I knew he was referring to Ethan as my “mistake.” Tears filled my eyes and I fisted my hands at my side. “He is not a mistake!” I’d never yelled at my father nor back talked him—until then. “He is my son, and don’t you ever refer to him again as something shameful. He is my son, damn it!” I screamed the last words even louder than the first.
Ethan began to cry in the background and I turned to him, feeling saddened that I’d scared him.
“It’s time you realize what life is about, Emelie,” my father said from behind me. I didn’t turn to face him; I couldn’t. “I’ve paid your last rent check. After this month ends, you’re on your own.”
“I’ve been on my own since I was old enough to make my own breakfast,” I mumbled, and he actually had the nerve to laugh. “You and Mother were never proud of me, you were never there for me. You’ve always just been a source for money. Tossing me a fifty whenever you needed to brush me off. So the only thing I’m losing now is that. I lost everything else long ago.”
I kept my back to him, feeling defeated. It wasn’t until I heard the door click shut behind me that I went and hugged Ethan close and finally gave in to the ache I’d felt inside me.
“It’s okay, Em,” Palmer assured me. I knew she was just offering me comfort, but I couldn’t handle it.
“It’s not okay.” I shrugged out of her hold. “None of this is okay.”
I spun around to face her. “You pushed me to let go, live a little. ‘You’re young, Em, you deserve to have a life. You need to get out and live, let the guy woo you. Go to the party, Em, stay the night.’” I was crying so hard I couldn’t even see her clearly. “Now look where all that got me.”
I walked away and slammed my bedroom door as I sat down on the bed and rocked Ethan. He fisted my shirt in his little hands as he sniffled. “I’m sorry, buddy.” Kissing his forehead I tried to soothe him.
Lying back, I curled over onto my side and tucked him close. “Mommy’s so sorry.” When he reached up to touch my face, I closed my eyes and a new round of tears fell.
I should have just listened and saved myself all the heartache. I was acting like a college kid with no responsibilities and the problem with that was I wasn’t the typical college girl. I was a mom who was about to be out on the streets with a two-year-old son. There was no way I could pay for this place and everything else on top of it.
At this point it wasn’t only my father who felt disappointed in me; I felt it too. Because I had let down the one person I told myself I never would.
Ethan.