Maybe going to the party wasn’t such a good idea. When they arrived, Fin slipped off somewhere with Katie and left Rain and Quinn standing near the door.

Putting his hand on the small of her back he asked, “Drink?”

“Sure. Think there is anywhere quieter?” she said shouting above the music.

“Let’s see what we can find.” He steered her towards the back where there was a keg in a plastic tub. A number of random liquor bottles sat on the table amongst a sea of red cups. Being that they were in Seattle, there were actually a few bottles of cheap, but tasty wine, scattered around.

“Thank you, Trader Joe’s,” Rainier said, picking up a bottle. “Wine okay?”

“Sure, I’m not picky.”

Rain found a bag full of new cups, pulled two out, and tucked a bottle of something he recognized under his arm. Balancing the cups in one hand, he grabbed Quinn’s hand and walked her towards the back of the house. There was an open door to the backyard. Stepping through he found someone had lit the fire pit. The area around the flames was surrounded by curved bricks and gravel.

There were random chairs arranged around the pit, and it was deserted. It was a little too early as the drinking hadn’t reached its peak. He was sure that within a few more hours there would be some assholes lighting things on fire outside. That would be their cue to leave.

Directing Quinn to a seat, he sat down next to her and handed her one of the red cups. Pouring them both a glass he leaned back and took a drink, his eyes never leaving her.

She was staring into the flames with a distant look in her eyes.

“Deep thoughts?” he asked.

Quinn turned to him, a smile playing on her lips.

“No, well, sorta. I was just thinking that sitting around a fire having wine was not how I envisioned the evening progressing.”

“Is there something else you’d rather be doing? We can go back inside if you want.”

“Hell no. I like my eardrums the way they are. Besides, I’m guessing there is going to be a higher possibility of vomit inside.”

“I’m sure you’re right. This is nice as long as we are alone.”

“We are alone. Now what, Mr. Rochon?”

“Honestly?”

“I’d prefer it.”

“I was hoping we could chat for a while. I’d love to hear more about you. Afterwards, I’ll drive you home. During that time I’ll be desperately trying to convince you to let me take you out for a late night meal, and then I will cross my fingers and hope for a good night kiss. You know, a friendly one, not a date one, since we aren’t on a date.”

“No, we weren’t supposed to be on a date. Although I have to admit it feels like one. You are a crafty one, Rain.”

“I’m not intending to be crafty. I like you, Quinn. I don’t think that’s going to be a surprise to you. I’m willing to take it slow, but I can’t imagine walking away from you now that I’ve met you. We met for a reason. I think we are going to be in each other’s lives for a while.”

Quinn gave him a frown. “I don’t know about all of that. The meal is a possibility. The kiss, well, I hadn’t planned on that. You’re making me very confused about what I want. I don’t like that feeling.”

Rain didn’t want her to feel bad about their time together, but he also didn’t want to move backwards. “I’m just going to take a guess and say that it’s not because you don’t like me, but that you do and you aren’t sure what that means? And that it might even be a little scary?”

Quinn nodded. “I’m not usually scared of anything,” she admitted.

“I bet you aren’t. But isn’t it a little exciting to be a little scared? Like the moment you jump off a high diving board. Your heart is pounding, your skin is tingling, but you do it anyway because the rush is worth it?”

Her eyes were on his. They were seeking but soft. He knew she was feeling it, he could smell her desire.

“You make me think things that I have never thought about. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing. It actually scares me. The way I was raised, the values that I’ve always had. They don’t allow room for indulgence. I need to stay focused, and romantic entanglements don’t mesh well with my life plans.”

Rain liked that she admitted she was confused about her feelings. That meant there were feelings to have.

“Don’t be scared. Would it help for you to know that I’ve never really dated? I’ve had dates for prom and the like, but never anyone long term.”

“I don’t believe that. You seem like a football player that got all the girls in school.”

“I did play ball, but I was the shy quiet type. You know the guy that was always the good friend, never the boyfriend. I think they made up that term “Friend Zone” because of me. Except I wasn’t trying to get with those girls. I really wanted to just be friends. I guess I was just waiting for something special. Nothing came along while I was in high school. I’m kind of glad that I never met anyone that turned my head until now.”

* * *

Quinn had heard him but was having trouble believing him. Was he saying that she was something different? That she turned his head? That didn’t make her problems any easier. She wanted him to do something that would clear up her indecisions. Her pessimism was waiting for the other shoe to drop, for him to show his real side, the one that would justify her dumping her cup of wine on his head and leaving. It was a bit dramatic, but she’d always wanted to do that. Rain Rochon might not be that type, but if he wasn’t, what type was he?

Instead, he was acting like she was his soul mate. But that was ridiculous. There were too many people on the planet to be able to only fall in love with one person. Not that he said anything about “love” to her. But he was still talking like she was someone different or important to him. In the world of college relationships that was way too fast, and practically unheard of.

“Rain, I’ve told you that I don’t want to get sidetracked this year. I’m in my senior year. I don’t have anything on my mind but class and working. By the way, I have to work tomorrow, so I can’t stay out too long.”

She didn’t tell him that she didn’t have to work until the afternoon and even if she stayed up all night it wasn’t a big deal. Working at a juice bar didn’t require a lot of mental focus. Juice, banana, blend, repeat.

“So you’re saying even if the perfect person came along, you’d pass up the opportunity for something great because of your plans?”

“My plans are what has got me this far. I grew up with my mom and nobody else. No dad, no relatives that gave a shit, just me and mom. She worked, sometimes two jobs, sometimes none. I was left alone a lot. I had to learn to take care of myself and figure out how to keep the neighbors from calling CPS because I was alone. My mom relied on me to do my part to keep us together.

That was a lot to put on a little kid. I wish it had been different, but it’s what I had to deal with. I’m not looking for pity or anything, it’s just the way it was. My mom taught me never to rely on a man because it would mean I was always at their mercy for money, for a roof over my head, for my happiness. She made those mistakes and I’m not going to repeat them. I’d be doing a disservice to all the hard work she’s done, and all the hard work I’ve done.”

Quinn’s dad had split before she was born and her mother struggled to make enough money to support them, find childcare, and keep a roof over their head that was decent and safe. Her mom wasn’t neglectful, but there were times that Quinn had to take on responsibilities that had been outside of her age abilities.

She learned to stay home alone, make herself snacks, keep the doors locked, and do her homework while her mom worked. Her mom often worked at bars as a server, and that meant there were nights that Quinn came home alone, made herself dinner, and put herself to bed when she was just seven-years-old.

In the beginning, Quinn and her mom had been a team. At least that’s how she liked to remember it. But really it was her mom teaching her how to care for herself, to cook, clean, and get dressed all on her own. She didn’t look back at those time as neglectful. She saw them as a testament to how strong her mom had raised her.

That was also the way she kept from being sad that her childhood wasn’t like the other little girls she had known growing up. The ones who were pampered and protected, with a mom and dad sharing the load. Hugs when they got home from work, dinner at the table together, maybe even a board game and a story before bed. All things she never had.

Her mom had often told Quinn that relying on a man would only bring her heartache and leave her vulnerable. It wasn’t some evil fairytale she was spinning, either, it was the reality they lived. Even before Quinn’s father, her mom would find all the wrong men. They would abuse her, steal from her, and treat her like trash.

For a while, her mother put up with it, thinking she couldn’t do any better. That was until she had Quinn. Her mom told her that being pregnant and giving birth alone gave her the strength to want more for herself and for her child. She had another life to provide for. Having a baby had made her stronger. But old habits were hard to break and the men eventually came back in to her mother’s life.

Now that Quinn was an adult she could see her mother’s bitterness. She didn’t blame her. She’d had a hard life and wanted her daughter to avoid the same mistakes she’d made. Quinn had hidden her first three boyfriends from her mother just because she didn’t want the hassle. Now her mom knew there wouldn’t be any chance of her daughter bringing home a girlfriend. Still, Quinn began to avoid romantic relationships. She wanted her mom to see her graduate and start her career before involving a man.

Quinn loved her mom for being strong and capable and giving her the skills to be the same. Her ability to take every shitty challenge that was thrown at her and overcome them made her Quinn’s role model.

* * *

There was silence in the backyard. Rain didn’t like what he was hearing for a number of reasons. He hated that she’d had a rough life, and that she had to struggle growing up. Of course, that made her who she was, but compared to his carefree childhood it made him and his animal sad to think of her lonely times. Her possibly hungry and cold times. Being left alone as a young child must have been terrifying. Rain had never been alone in his life.

“I think you have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can take care of yourself, Quinn. You will be whatever you want to be, I have no doubt that you will do an amazing job at it no matter what your obstacles. Anyone that has met you knows that about you.”

“Thank you. I’m not looking for an award, I’m just trying to tell you that getting involved with someone, no matter how cute, is not going to further any of my plans.”

“I’m just cute? That’s a blow to the ego, thanks.”

“Come on, what do you want me to say? If you had a poster I’d hang it on my wall?”

“Maybe. If there was a poster of me would you hang it on the wall?”

“For sure. You are a good-looking guy and I’m sure you hear it plenty.”

Rain shrugged. His looks had never mattered to him. He’d met too many pretty people who were nothing but ugly on the inside.

“You know I lied to you earlier,” he said.

“Really? About what,” she asked warily.

“I didn’t talk to you because you were just pretty. I didn’t talk because you were the most beautiful girl I had ever met, and I honestly was intimidated.”

“Pfft, you are so full of it. I’ve seen plenty of hot girls at this school, much prettier than me.”

“Maybe physically, but you just have to watch them for a minute or two and you can see their beauty fade. What’s inside them comes out and it turns their beauty sour. You on the other hand… one minute with you and your beauty increases until the entire room shines with it. It’s from your soul. It’s like a light breaking through.”

“You should have taken poetry as a major, Rain.”

“I don’t need you to believe it now, maybe down the road you’ll see that I was right. About your life plan…”

“It’s not just a life plan, or a goal. It’s what I have to do. I can’t fail in this. I need to do this for myself, and for my mom.”

“Let me tell you a little about my family. My family is big, really big. I have three siblings spread across a wide age range. I have cousins that are as close as brothers and sisters. My aunts and uncles are pseudo-parents all the time. I even have some cousins that are old enough that I have to remind myself they aren’t aunts and uncles. We all live in the same few towns. I have never been left home alone. I’ve never had to make my own meals, except when my older brother taught me to cook so that I’d stop raiding his fridge.”

Quinn laughed at that.

“I’m surrounded by love and support all the time and I still manage to do things on my own. Forge my own accomplishments. Having help doesn’t mean that you can’t do it by yourself, it just means you can do it easier by yourself. I don’t want to derail your plans. I want to encourage you and support you. I know we just met, but in my family, we believe in the spiritual connections between people. That it’s what links us to each other, to the earth, and to the universe. We acknowledge that connection every day and respect it. We, you and I, have a connection.”

“Are you guys some kind of creepy cult?”

Rain gave her a smile. “No religion, just respect for living things. The trees we cut down are strong on their own. But they don’t stand and grow for hundreds of years by sheer will. They are supported by the soil, the rain, the sun, and most importantly, the other trees and plants around them. Weaving together to make themselves stronger, digging deep into the earth to be able to withstand fires, floods, winds… all the things that would push them over and defeat them if they were alone.

A tree by itself, no matter how strong it is at its core, will break and fall over without all those pieces around it to keep it upright. Support is never something that makes you weaker, it makes you able to withstand whatever the world throws at you. I want to be that for you, Quinn. Let me hold you to the earth so you can reach the sky.”