CHAPTER TEN
Ryan
“OH, GOD!” CASSIE moaned as I woke her with my tongue between her legs. She was being loud and I knew that wasn’t a good thing when James was in the house, but I couldn’t stop sucking on that pretty pussy. Her back arched when my finger started massaging her clit. I would wake her like this every morning to be sure she knew I was not gay. The sounds she made as I licked her made me consider kidnapping her for the day so we could stay at home and have wild monkey sex.
“Mom!” James knocked on the door, breaking the moment and pulling me from between my wife’s legs. She quickly slammed her knees together, crushing my head in the process. In her panic, she kicked out, her heel catching me in the eye as I tried to move out of the way. Then she rolled off the bed, taking the comforter with her and wrapping herself up on the floor. I sat there holding my eye as it thrummed in pain.
“Be there in a minute, sweetie!” she called from the floor. I was sitting on the bed completely naked, blinking to see if I could see out of my eye. “What were you thinking? He could have walked in here at any minute. It would have scarred him for life!” she hissed.
“I’m not a moron. I locked the door. Do you really thinking cowering on the floor in the sheets would have shielded him from seeing me naked yet again? You rolled away and took all the blankets. If the door had been unlocked, he would have gotten a good look at my ass.”
“Sorry, I panicked.”
“I know. Now I have to explain to my clients why I have a black eye. I don’t think I can tell them that my wife kicked me in the face when I went down on her.”
“Just tell them I punched you because I thought you were an intruder.”
“You have a cover story for everything, don’t you?” I grimaced at her. “Is this some perverse way to take out your anger on me? Blame the kid?”
She smiled and got up to get dressed leaving me with a black eye and blue balls. Christ. I ran my hand over my head and took a few breaths to get my body under control. I never thought I’d be cock blocked a ten year old kid.
I dropped James off at school and headed into the office, but I didn’t even get to return any calls before Cassandra called me.
“Ryan, I got the papers. He’s taking us to court for visitation with the intention of gaining joint custody.”
“Alright. I’ll be right over. We can go to the lawyer’s and see what he says. Remember, he warned us that this was probably what Michael would try to do.”
“I know. I just can’t believe this is happening. He hasn’t wanted James all this time and now he suddenly wants to be a part of his life.”
“Just hang in there. Let me rearrange some things and I’ll be over to get you.”
I heard her blow out a breath. “Okay. I’ll see you soon.”
It was more difficult than I thought it would be to rearrange my day, but Logan took all the appointments that he could and then arranged for other managers to help where they could. I finally picked up Cassandra and we headed over to the lawyer’s office. My secretary had called to let him know we would be coming.
“Ryan. I’m sorry to see you under these circumstances.”
I shook Garret Ryder’s hand and pulled Cassandra to my side. “This is my wife, Cassandra. Cassie, this is Garret Ryder. I’ve known him for a long time and he’s an excellent lawyer.”
“Mrs. Jackson, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I specialize in family court and I assure you, we will do everything possible to help you keep your son. Why don’t we sit down. We have a few things to discuss.”
We took our seats and Garret started in on what would happen next.
“The petition he filed will require an appearance in court, which is not the same as a hearing. An appearance is where the lawyers try to work out something first with the guardian lawyer. Since Mr. Scott hasn’t made any attempt to be a part of James’s life until now, I’ll fight for supervised visitation only. I’m guessing that his lawyers will push for more and that will push us into a hearing.”
Cassandra covered her mouth and did her best to hold back her tears. I covered her hand with mine and gave it a squeeze. I would do anything to take this pain away from her.
“A hearing would happen down the road anyway if he’s serious about gaining custody. It’s just a matter of whether it happens now or later.”
“On average, how long does a parent have supervised custody before the court will consider custody arrangements?” Cassandra asked.
“It’ll be up to the social worker. That’s if we win supervised visits. It’s possible that the judge could just order visitation, but we’ll fight it.”
“What happens at a hearing?” I asked. I wanted to be as informed as possible going into this.
“At a hearing, we’ll get to state our side of the case. I would have you both take the stand and tell the judge what kind of relationship you have with James. If your parents are able to be there to attest to the relationships that have developed, that would be best.”
“Is our marriage going to be a problem? I mean, since we just got married recently?”
“It could go either way. Honestly, what will make the most impact is your current relationship with James. This whole proceeding is about what’s best for James. It’s my job to be sure I present the best case on your behalf. Still, that’s no guarantee. Ideally, this wouldn’t be a problem given his lack of interest in James, but there are a few judges that tend to lean towards the rights of the father. He’ll be ordered to pay back child support, but as long as he complies with everything the judge orders, he could very well get visitation and eventually shared custody. The judge wouldn’t just take James away, though. He’s had a stable home with you his whole life and Mr. Scott showing interest now won’t change that.”
The look on Cassie’s face broke my heart. She had done everything for her son for the past ten years and now that was all being threatened.
“I’ll try to prevent this from getting any further, but chances are, this will go to a hearing at some point.”
“Will James have any say in this?” I asked.
“Some judges allow it. There’s no set age that a judge will take a child’s wants into consideration. It’s based on if the judge thinks they are capable of making the decision. I would say that James would probably have a say, but it’s important that you don’t pressure him one way or another. Any kind of coercion would only work against us in court.”
After Cassandra asked a few more questions, we decided to meet again in two weeks to go over any further questions before the court appearance. As we walked to the car, I could feel Cassandra sinking into a depression. She was pulling away from me and I couldn’t help but feel that she was trying to distance herself from me for some reason. Instead of taking her back to the office, I took her home to talk about things with her before we got James from school. I wanted to be sure we were on the same page when we talked to him.
“Cassie girl, talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She slumped down in an armchair in the living room and stared at the wall. I knelt in front of her, needing to be as close as possible.
“I’m thinking that this is just the beginning. He’s going to get supervised visits and eventually ask for custody. I’m going to lose my son.”
“No, you won’t. Even if the judge eventually ordered shared custody, James wouldn’t be taken away from you because you’ve never done anything to make you look like an unfit parent. Besides, you’re all he knows. You can’t think like that.”
“Easy for you to say.”
I knew what she was doing and I wasn’t going to let that shit fly with me.
“It’s not easy for me to say. I worry about James and I will do everything I can to keep him, but there’s no sense in getting ahead of ourselves. If we act like it’s already over, James will think that we’re giving up on him.”
“You know, you’re just like Michael. You don’t get it! I’m the one that raised James for the last ten years. Both you and Michael are coming in at the last minute and suddenly want to tell me you know what’s best for my son!” She pushed me back and started pacing around the room as tears dripped down her cheeks. She was starting to get hysterical and I had to help her get ahold of herself. “Neither of you were there when he was born or when I had to stay up all night with him. I was there for all of it. His first tooth, his first steps. I was the one that had to take him to school for the first time. So, don’t you tell me how I should be handling this!”
“Cassie, I get that this is upsetting for you-”
She shoved me back causing me to stumble. I hadn’t been expecting that from her. I regained my footing just in time for her to start in on me again.
“You only married me to help me financially. You’re not his father and you never will be!”
I grabbed her by the arms, trying to stop the insanity spewing from her mouth.
“First of all, don’t you ever shove me or try to hit me. That is not how we deal with our issues. Second, I am his father and I always will be. It might not have started out that way, but you know as well as I do that we’re a family now. You can’t just wipe away everything that’s happened in the past couple of months.”
“Get your hands off me.” She tore her arms from my grip. “This was all a mistake. I never should have married you. I don’t know what I was thinking! The judge is going to see that we ran off to Vegas and he’s going to assume we were trying to manipulate the system. I’ll lose my son because of you!”
“You’re not thinking clearly right now, so I’m going to excuse all that bullshit you just hurled at me, but this isn’t over. When you’ve had a chance to think this through, we’ll talk again. I’m going into the office and I’ll pick James up from school. Pull yourself together before James gets home.”
I stormed out of the house and got into my truck. I knew that everything she said was because she was hurting, but I couldn’t help but wonder if she was right. Maybe I had fucked things up for her by taking her to Vegas. Would the judge think that she wasn’t acting in James’s best interest? No. I couldn’t think that way. I loved James and I would do anything for him. I couldn’t believe that he would be better off without me in his life.
✯✯✯✯✯
When James and I walked into the house, Cassie was sitting in the living room staring out the window.
“Mom! Guess what? I got an A on my math test today!”
Cassie turned to James and wrapped him in a hug. “That’s great. Maybe we should celebrate with pizza tonight!”
James nodded enthusiastically and was about to run off. I looked at Cassandra to stop him so we could talk, but she just sat there.
“Hey, bud. Your mom and I need to talk to you.”
“No we don’t.”
“Yes we do,” I glared at her. Cassandra sat back down with a huff.
“Fine.” She turned to James with a watery smile. “James, we need to talk about your biological dad.” She fidgeted with her shirt while James looked between us.
“Buddy, we have to meet with the court in a few weeks about you possibly visiting your real dad. When that happens, we’ll know if you’re going to spend time with him or not.”
James looked at his mom. “Do I have to?”
“It’s not up to us, honey. Your dad is going to talk to the judge and if the judge says that he gets to see you, then we don’t have a choice.”
“Okay.”
“No matter what, it’ll all be okay.” I said trying to reassure both Cassandra and James. Cassandra looked like she would throw up, but James looked like he was handling it pretty well.
“I have some homework to do. Are we still getting pizza?”
“Yeah, we’ll still get pizza.” Cassandra looked like she was zoning out, so I took over and ushered him up to his room to finish his homework.
“Cassie, you can’t just shut down. You’re acting like this is the end, but it’s just starting. We still have a lot on our side.”
Cassie turned to me with a resigned look on her face. “This is the beginning for me. Ryan, you’ve been great with him, but let’s face it. This is on me. You’re not really his father. You’re doing a great job at playing at it, but in the end, this is on me.”
“How can you say I’m not his father? I’ve been doing everything I can to show you how devoted I am and now you’re throwing it in my face? I’m not playing at anything.”
“You’ve been with us for a couple of months. That’s a great effort, but it’s not being a parent. When this starts getting bad, you’re going to want out.”
“You don’t speak for me. You have no idea how I feel about any of this,” I said as the anger built inside me.
“And how do you feel about this? About us?”
She didn’t look at me with hope. She looked at me like she’d already made up her mind about me and I didn’t measure up. Somehow, all the progress we’d made over the past two months had just been erased. It was like we were back in the first week when we were trying to figure things out. She didn’t trust me to stick around.
I wanted to tell her that I was falling in love with her. I wanted to tell her that I loved James and they were it for me, but she didn’t want to hear it. She wanted to go it alone and pretend like nothing between us was real.
“I’ll go get the pizza.”
I turned and walked out, having never answered her question.
✯✯✯✯✯
The night was tense after that, but luckily James didn’t seem to catch on. We did our nightly routine of reading Harry Potter upstairs together. I was getting to the end of the second book and he was on the third book. They were actually not that bad. I had really started to like the time we spent together reading every night. Sometimes he would ask me what part in the book I was at and then he would get all excited and tell me his favorite parts.
When James went to bed, I went back downstairs and pulled out all the work I had brought home. Since we’d had the meeting today, I had a lot to catch up on. I wasn’t sure what Cassandra was up to and I didn’t really want to be around her, so I went downstairs to work. I kept getting distracted thinking about my situation with Cassandra, so it was well past two in the morning when I finally went to sleep.
The days got tense between us leading up to our court appearance. There was no more sex or even flirting. We existed in the same house, but we barely spoke. James seemed to pick up on it when Cassandra started insisting on James riding in with her in the morning. The first day I didn’t drop him off was hard. It was like she was punishing me, but I wasn’t quite sure why.
We had a meeting with the lawyer a week and a half before our court date, but that only made things worse between us. He made it very clear that the tension between us wouldn’t look good in court and we had to try to put up a united front the day of our appearance.
On the morning we were due in court, I woke up to the sound of Cassie throwing up in the bathroom. She must have just run in there because the door was wide open. I ran in and pulled her hair back out of her face and rubbed her back.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. I think it’s just nerves.”
“Cassie, I-” She pushed away from the toilet and walked over to the sink, doing her best to ignore me.
“I need to take a shower and get ready. We have to drop James off early so we can get to court.”
She rinsed her mouth and then looked at me like she expected me to leave. I shook my head and walked out of the bathroom, pissed that she was shutting me out. I paced around the bedroom trying to figure out what to do. We couldn’t be like this in court and she was so nervous she was throwing up. Fed up with the situation, I walked back in the bathroom and took off my pants. She was standing in the shower and was about to tell me to get out, but I wasn’t standing for it. Enough was enough.
“Ryan, get out.”
She covered her breasts and her pussy, but I stepped in with her anyway. I backed her up against the wall and caged her in with a hand on either side of her head.
“No. You don’t get to do this anymore. We’re in this together and no matter how hard you try to push me away, I’m not going anywhere. I want to be here with you. You and James mean everything to me and I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner, but I’m saying it now.”
“Ryan, it’s not enough.”
“Yes it is. You just have to trust me. I’m not going anywhere, Cassie. Stop trying to push me away.”
“When this is over, you’re going to leave,” she said through her tears.
“No, I’m not. Get that out of your head. I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to leave James. I want us to be a family and I want to stay married.”
Her head dropped so her gaze was no longer on me. I couldn’t see what was in her eyes and I needed that. I raised her chin back up and forced her to look at me. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears.
“I want to believe you so bad,” she whispered. “I want you too, Ryan, but I’m so scared that you’re going to freak out and decide you’ve had enough.”
“Cassie, in case you didn’t notice, I wasn’t the one that freaked out. I never said I didn’t want to do this. You just decided that. I get that Michael hurt you when he walked away, but I’m not Michael and I’m not going to leave you. I love you.”
A sob broke free from her as she rested her head against my chest. I held her in my arms as she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me to her. My chin rested on her head as I waited for her to calm down. When she finally stepped back, she gave me a small smile.
“I’m sorry I did that to you.”
I ran a hand down the side of her face and cupped her cheek. “I know. Enough okay? We need to stick together and get through this.”
She nodded and I took the shampoo down and washed her hair, massaging her scalp. I did everything I could to ease the tension in her body before our court appearance. By the time she was ready to go, she looked a little calmer. We dropped James off and then held hands as we walked into the courthouse.