CHAPTER THREE
Ryan
I GROANED AS I rolled over. Sunlight was shining in through the window and blinding me as I reached for my phone on the nightstand to look at the time. It was then that I remembered where I was and what I had done. After I came to my room last night, I raided the minibar and drank myself silly. Everything about what I’d done yesterday was such a bad idea. Cassandra didn’t want me for any reason other than what I could provide for her. She had made that perfectly clear, but up until last night, I just hadn’t really heard that.
Part of me had hoped that she really did like me. In the last year and a half, I had tried everything to get her to go out with me because I genuinely liked spending time with her. She was funny and sweet and I just knew that if she ever gave me the chance, she would see the man I really was. I had stupidly thought that this would be our chance to see where things went.
When she said that she would be sleeping in the same room as James, it really hit home that this would be nothing more than a convenience for her. I was so fucking stupid. I looked at my phone to see it was well past ten. I got up and went to the ensuite to wash up and try to get the smell of alcohol off. As I glanced around the room, I saw mini liquor bottles spread all over the floor. I’d pick them up when I got out of the shower.
“Ryan?” Cassandra called from the other side of the door.
“Yeah?” She opened the door and then turned bright red and spun around quickly. What the fuck? I glanced down to see that I was completely naked and had morning wood. I quickly grabbed the blanket from the bed and covered myself.
“What did you need?” She peeked over her shoulder and turned back around when she saw I was covered. She quickly took in the state of the room and frowned.
“Um..We ordered some breakfast. I wasn’t sure when you’d be up, so..”
“Yeah, I just need a quick shower and then I’ll be out.”
“Okay.” She hesitated in the doorway as if she wanted to say something, but then changed her mind and left, shutting the door behind her. I dropped the blanket and went into the bathroom, grimacing when I saw my reflection in the mirror. My face was pale and I had dark circles under my eyes. My head was pounding as the bright light from the vanity drilled holes in my eyes.
I looked like complete shit and that explained why Cassandra looked at me funny. That and the combination of the liquor bottles spread out on the floor probably wasn’t the most encouraging thing for her to see. I took my time in the shower, hoping that I would feel better when I got out. I didn’t.
After cleaning up the room and dressing, I walked out in the living room to see James and Cassandra finishing up their breakfast.
“Hey, champ. How’s it going this morning?”
James turned his death glare on me. “I was starving, but Mom wouldn’t order until you were awake. I’ve been up since six.”
I glanced at Cassandra, but I wasn’t getting any help from her.
“Yeah, sorry about that. I guess didn’t realize how late it was.”
“Whatever.” He pushed back from the table and mumbled something about going to his room.
I sighed and sat down, dishing out some breakfast and pouring some coffee.
“Guess I screwed that up.”
“It would have helped if you hadn’t drank all the alcohol in the room last night,” Cassandra said as she took a sip of her coffee.
“Look, I know I’m screwing this up so far. Just be patient with me. The last time I was held responsible by another person was right before I met you.”
“Girlfriend?”
“Yes. She broke up with me because I wasn’t available enough for her. She said I worked too much.”
Cassandra nodded. “I understand that you have other responsibilities and I won’t shove that in your face, but there will have to be some changes if we’re going to make this believable.”
“Alright. Just tell me what I need to do. I’m new to all this, so go easy on me.”
“It’s just little things. Like, it might have set a better example for him if you didn’t get up at ten o’clock in the morning the day after we got married.”
I slouched back in my chair and rubbed the back of my neck. “Sorry. I think it all just hit me hard last night and I got a little carried away.”
“I could tell. Your room looked like a distillery.”
I grimaced.
“I understand that this is a huge change for you and I stand by what I said last night. If you want out, it’s not too late to get this annulled.”
I couldn’t do that to her or her kid. That would make me a complete asshole to get her hopes up and then walk away, not to mention what it would do to the kid. I didn’t want him to think that all the male role models in his life had walked away.
“No, I just need some guidance. You have to let me know your expectations. I don’t want to fuck this up for you.”
“Okay, well first, I need to know what kind of schedule you have. We need to establish some kind of routine for James. If he’s going to be comfortable around you, he needs to get to know you. Maybe you can take him out and do some guy things with him.”
“I think you’re going to need to give me a pre-approved list of things we can do.”
“You mean, so you don’t take him out drinking?”
I barked out a laugh. “Okay, fine. I should have known better on that one. What else?”
“Well, do you even have a spare room that we can use at your house?”
“I do, but you won’t be staying there.”
“Excuse me?”
“I understand that he needs his own room, but if you’re going to trick everyone into thinking that we married for love, then you need to share a room with me. He’s ten. He’s going to think it’s weird if you aren’t sleeping in my room. Besides, if he told someone, it would destroy this whole sham.”
She nodded in understanding. “Okay, but I’m not sleeping with you.” She flushed in embarrassment and ducked her head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean for that to come out so harsh.”
“I’ll admit that I assumed that sex would be on the table, but you’ve made it clear that it won’t be. I won’t say I’m happy about it, but I’ll deal. You don’t have to worry about me mauling you in your sleep.”
“Alright. We’ll share a room. We’ll also have forms that you’ll have to be added to at the school, doctor’s office-”
“Yeah, I get the picture. Lots of paperwork. I would suggest that we stay and hang out, but I have to work tomorrow and we still have to get at least your essentials over to my place. I’ll check for flights and then we can hit the road.”
“Alright. I think it might be a good idea if you tried to make nice with him before we leave.”
“Like, you want me to go talk to him?” She raised her eyebrows and nodded. “What do I say to him?”
“You’re both guys. I’m sure something will come to you.”
“He’s ten. I don’t know any ten year olds.”
“But you were ten once.”
“Twenty some years ago,” I said in disbelief.
She patted me on the cheek and walked toward the bedroom. “You got this.” She gathered up some clothes and walked to the bathroom. I looked into the bedroom where James was sitting on the bed with a book.
“Whatcha reading?”
“Harry Potter.”
“Cool. Is that about someone famous?”
The kid looked at me like I was the dumbest shit in the world. “You don’t know who Harry Potter is?”
“I get the feeling that I should.”
“He’s a wizard. They made movies about him and everything.”
That sounded a little familiar, so I went with it. “Oh yeah. I remember hearing about that. The pasty guy played the main guy in the movie.”
“The pasty guy?”
“Yeah. He was really pale and he jumped around trees.”
“That’s Twilight, you idiot.”
I ran a hand over my face. This kid hated me. I had no clue who Harry Potter was and apparently that was a major crime. “Okay, well maybe I’ll read the book when you’re done and then I’ll know what the fu-fudge you’re talking about.”
“There’s not just one book.” I raised an eyebrow. “There are seven.”
“Seven? Shit.” I ran a hand over my face in frustration. I had just committed myself to reading some stupid wizard book. No. Not one. Seven. Seven fucking books. I couldn’t tell you the last time that I read something other than reports and contracts.
“I’m almost done with this one, so you can read it when I’m done.” He gave me a devilish grin. There was no way I was letting this little twerp pull one over on me.
“Fine. When we’re done with this series, I get to pick the next books we read.”
“Deal.” He stuck out his hand to shake mine, but I had something else in mind. I put out my hand and spit in it. He looked at me in disgust.
“This was how we made deals in my day. Spit or no deal.”
The kid looked at me questioningly, but spit in his hand and shook mine. I had forgotten how disgusting that was until I felt our saliva mixing and squishing through my fingers. Gross. I wiped the spit on my jeans and then stood up.
“I have to go check flights. We have to get home so we can get your mom and you moved in.” Like the last five minutes hadn’t happened, he ignored me and went back to his book.
I was able to get us booked for a flight that afternoon, which didn’t give us any time to get to her place and pack, so I stayed at her apartment. It was more cramped than I was used to and her bed was only a double, so I couldn’t spread out like I wanted to. Plus, she made sure that I stayed on my side of the bed by placing pillows between us. I slept horribly to say the least. I got up and made some coffee for us and quickly got ready for work. I had to wear the suit I’d worn on Saturday, but there just wasn’t time to go home and change first. I had meetings first thing this morning.
“Shoot. I am running so late this morning. I have a meeting I’m supposed to be at in fifteen minutes.” Cassandra came running out of the bedroom in a grey pencil skirt and white short sleeved blouse that wasn’t done up all the way. It reminded me of the first time I met her when her button had come undone and I got a peek at her breasts. I knew then that I wanted to fuck her.
“Could you drop James off at school this morning?” Her voice cut through my memories and back to reality.
“Sorry, what?”
She pushed papers into her briefcase and grabbed her travel mug, quickly pouring in coffee.
“I asked if you could drop off James this morning. He’s on your way to work.”
I looked at my watch. It would be close, but I could make it. “If we leave now, it should be fine. Doesn’t he take the bus?”
“It doesn’t come by for another half hour and I don’t want to leave him here alone, so I drop him off.”
“Where is he?”
“James! Ryan’s taking you to school this morning. He has to leave now!”
James came out of his bedroom dressed and ready for school. “What about breakfast?”
“Shit! I mean, shoot.”
Cassandra flung open cabinets, looking for something to feed the kid, but it was obvious that there was nothing there.
“Come on, kid. We’ll go through the drive thru, but we have to leave now.”
“My name is James, not kid.”
I rolled my eyes and headed for the door. I was just about to walk out when I realized I hadn’t even said goodbye to Cassandra. I went back to her and leaned in to kiss her, but she moved her cheek at the last minute. I pulled back and tried for the other side and she did it again. I put my hands on either side of her face to hold her still and kissed her right on the lips. I had meant for it to be a little peck, but the moment my lips touched hers, I wanted more. She melted into me and kissed me back. It wasn’t a dirty kiss. There was no tongue and there was no groping. In fact, it was probably the most innocent kiss I’d had since I was a teenager, but tingles ran down my spine when she kissed me back. It felt like I was lost in another world with her until the shithead behind me cleared his throat.
“Gross. Can’t you do that when I’m not around?”
I pulled back slowly and looked down into Cassandra’s eyes. Her eyelids were heavy and her breathing shallow. While that had not been how I’d wanted to kiss her for the first time, it was memorable for sure.
“Office..I have to..” She waved toward the door and I nodded slightly, stepping back. She squeezed past me and her hand brushed against my growing erection. I groaned and she jerked her hand away from me. “I’m sorry..I didn’t mean to..” She waved her hand down toward my cock that was now pushing against the fabric of my pants and her eyes widened. She turned James around and pushed him out the door.
“We’ll be downstairs waiting for you.”
She closed the door behind her and I pushed against my cock to try and tame it. She opened the door again and caught me with my hand on my dick. Perfect.
“Um. I forgot to leave you the keys.” She threw them at me and slammed the door. We had to be the strangest married couple ever. After a few more minutes and thinking of some really nasty shit, I was finally able to make an appearance downstairs.
James walked over to me and I opened the back door of my truck for him. He sneered at me and threw his backpack in the back seat. This kid was never going to like me. I took him through the drive thru at McDonald’s and got us both breakfast, then took off for his school.
“Okay, so I just drop you off, right?”
“Yeah.”
I pulled into the school drop off area and about had a panic attack. There were cars lined up all the way to the end of the drive. It was going to take forever to get to the drop off point. After five minutes of not moving, I got pissed.
“Screw this.” I swerved around the twenty cars in front of me and drove up to the first car. There was a woman in a crossing guard outfit talking with the lady in the first car. I got out and walked around to James’s door and yanked it open. “Let’s go.”
He looked at me with wide eyes, but unbuckled and started to get down.
“Excuse me. You can’t park there and you have to wait in line to drop off.” The woman in the crossing guard outfit turned to me with a fake smile.
“The line isn’t moving and I have to get to a meeting.”
“I’ll explain to you as I just was to this lady. You pull up to that bike rack over there for drop off before 7:45. After that, you can drop off at the door. In the case of an emergency, you can park in the overflow parking lot at the back of the building and walk your child in.”
I looked at my watch. “Lady, it’s 7:50. This line should be moving already.”
“Well, every time I have to explain to a parent about the drop off rules, it delays everyone.”
“Why do you need drop off rules? Isn’t it pretty cut and dry? You pull up, you drop off your kid, and you drive away.”
“Well, that’s not all there is to it.”
“Lady, this isn’t the Battle of Gettysburg. Surely you don’t need that much planning to drop off your child.”
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to park your vehicle and go talk with the principal. I’m afraid your behavior just isn’t acceptable.”
“Lady, I don’t have time for this today. I have meetings to get to-”
She reached for the walkie talkie on her hip and brought it to her mouth.
“We have a code 13. I’m going to need assistance out front.”
“A code 13? Seriously? Is this prison now?”
She held up her hand like I would attack her at any second.
“Sir, I’m going to ask you to get back in your vehicle one last time and then I’ll be calling the police.”
“Are you fucking serious? You’re going to call the police for cutting line in the school drop off?”
“Sir, I’m going to need you to follow me.” A large man dressed in a security uniform came walking up to me. He looked like a body builder on steroids. He had to be at least seven feet tall and just as wide. “Your son can come in also.”
I shut the truck door and walked around to pull out my keys. As I walked behind the security guard, I noticed that James was sulking.
“It’s going to be fine. I’m just going to sort this out and you can go to class.”
“You’re such a screw up. Why couldn’t you just wait in line like everybody else? Now I’m going to get teased all day about you getting sent to the principal’s office.”
“It’s really not that bad, kid. I promise, this isn’t the end of the world.”
“Maybe not for you,” he muttered.
I spent the next ten minutes in the principal’s office being lectured about drop off safety and the rules. I was warned that if I didn’t follow them, I would be banned from dropping James off again. While I didn’t mind, I was sure Cassandra wouldn’t be quite as understanding.
When I got to the office, my secretary was wringing her hands and pacing outside my office. When she saw me, she looked up and ran to me.
“Sir, I’ve been trying to call you. Your client has been waiting for a half hour. He’s very unhappy and I didn’t know what to tell him.”
“Don’t worry, Patricia. I’ll take care of it.”
I walked into the office and over to my client. “I’m so sorry, Tom. I found myself in a rather unusual situation this morning.”
“I would have appreciated a phone call so I wasn’t sitting here waiting for a half hour.”
“I know, but I’ve misplaced my phone. I had to drop off my new stepson, who hates me, and I got stuck in the drop off line at school. Then when I tried to go around, the security guard took me into the principal’s office for a sit down meeting on the rules of drop off.”
He snorted and shook his head. “The fucking drop off line. I hate that line. My wife makes me drop off my kids several times a week and every fucking time, I get stuck behind some old biddy that wants to gab about the weather with the crossing guard. Like none of the rest of us have anything to do.”
I smiled in relief that he understood and wasn’t going to make a big deal about it. “It’s good to know I’m not the only one dealing with that shit. You’ll have to let me in on the inner workings of the school.”
He smiled. “I didn’t realize you were married?”
I held up my finger that now displayed a gold band. “As of this weekend.”
His face showed a pained expression. “Just got married and the kid hates you? That’s rough.”
“Better than being married for years and him hating me.”
“True.”
We got on with the meeting and I made it through most of my morning without any hiccups. Logan came walking into my office around lunch time and I dreaded talking to him.
“So, what happened this morning? I would have covered for you, but I had other meetings.”
“I got held up.” I wasn’t sure how to say, I got married this weekend and I have a kid now.
“You don’t ever get held up. What’s really going on?”
“Nothing. I just-”
“What the fuck is that?” I looked up at him to see his eyes glued to my ring finger. Fuck. I’d forgotten all about that. I pulled my hand back quickly as if that would somehow make it disappear.
“It’s-”
“Nothing?”
I sighed and leaned back in my chair. “I married Cassandra this weekend.”
He didn’t say anything for a minute and then he burst out laughing. “Weren’t you just telling Sean that he shouldn’t have married Lillian? Pussy whipped is what you called us, I believe.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Really? How is it then?”
I got up and shut the office door to be sure no one overheard us. I was sweating now. People were starting to find out and it would be real all too soon. “Cassandra has a ten year old kid. The dad came back and wanted to fight for custody. He hasn’t even met the kid before. She was so scared and I wanted to help.”
“So you married her? What does that solve?”
“I have money. I can help her fight this guy in court. Besides, he’s married now and they live in some fancy house. Cassandra lives in a cramped apartment. She was worried that would look like she couldn’t provide as well.”
“Still, it’s not likely the court would just hand over custody to him after all this time.”
“No, but he was also in the military. She’s afraid that will work in his favor.”
“In what way?”
“He was off serving his country. He just got out and now he appreciates life more or some bullshit. He wants a second chance with his kid. The courts are changing in the father’s favor now. I could see how she was concerned.”
“Still, you married her and now have a kid. That’s not something you take lightly. Where’d you get married?”
“I flew them to Vegas.” I swallowed thickly and took a deep breath in to calm my racing pulse.
“You flew both of them to Vegas? The kid was there?”
“Yes.”
“That must have put a damper on the wedding night.”
I leaned over as the pressure began to build in my chest. I felt like I was having a heart attack or something. I took a few deep breaths to calm my pounding heart.
“We didn’t have a wedding night. She slept in the kid’s room and I slept in the other room. Apparently, sex is off the table with this situation.”
“You don’t even get sex? Dude. You are so fucked. Figuratively, of course.”
I glared at him, but he just laughed. I got up and loosened my tie. It felt like it was choking me. My breaths were becoming more and more shallow. It was like I couldn’t fucking breathe anymore. I started pacing, but spots started to appear in front of me and I felt lightheaded. I looked up to see Logan looking at me like I had grown a second head. He was saying something to me, but I couldn’t hear him. The ground shifted and suddenly I was staring up at the ceiling. Logan started slapping my face and then disappeared. I just laid there staring at the ceiling as the black dots took up more and more of my vision.
Logan rolled me over to my side and then pushed me up to my knees. He held a paper sack in front of me and was yelling at me. It finally occurred to me that he wanted me to breathe in the sack. I grabbed it as best I could and forced myself to breathe into the bag. Slowly, my breathing became easier and the pressure in my chest eased. I sat back on my ass and draped an arm over my knee. Not even a full day of being married and I was already having a panic attack.
“Still think getting married was a good idea?”