CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Cassandra and Ryan
AFTER THAT WEEKEND a few months ago, I vowed that I would let go of my anger toward Michael and learn to deal with the situation like an adult. Cece and Harper both apologized for dragging me into their plotting, but honestly, drunk or not I agreed to do it. There was no excusing what I did.
So, over the next few months, I was polite to Alisha and Michael. I talked to James about trying to enjoy his time there and explained that he wouldn’t know if he wanted to get to know his dad if he didn’t try. It was still hard for me to drop him off, but I was dealing with it. There were a few times that Michael wanted to drop James off early or pick him up later. It was infuriating, but he was my son and I’d gladly take the extra time with him. Plus, it gave me leverage when I wanted something in return.
“Michael, I’d like to take James to the fair tomorrow. I know it’s your weekend, but I was hoping we could split the weekend.”
“Actually, Alisha wanted to take James. Look, if it was up to me, I’d let you keep the rugrat, but she wants to do this with him.”
“He’s your son. Can you please stop referring to him as a rugrat?”
He ran a hand down his face and sighed. “Sorry. You know this was never what I wanted.” He seemed to be really uncomfortable about something, but I wasn’t sure what. “Do you have a minute to come inside? I’d like to talk to you about what happened. You know, before..when I left.”
I looked back at the truck to see Ryan waiting patiently for me. “Give me a minute.” I went back to the truck and Ryan raised an eyebrow when I went to his side instead to the passenger side.
“Ryan, Michael wants to talk. Can you give me some time? Maybe twenty minutes?”
“Why don’t I come in with you.”
“No. I have a feeling that he wants to tell me something. He’d probably be more willing to open up if it was just me.”
“Alright. If that’s what you want.”
I went back and followed Michael inside as Ryan drove off. Alisha was outside in the backyard with James, so I was sitting alone with Michael in the living room.
“So, what did you want to talk about?”
“You’re so different than you were ten years ago.”
“It’s more like twelve. James is almost eleven.”
“Right. I don’t know how to talk to you anymore. You aren’t at all how I remember you.”
“Neither are you. When we met, you were this sweet guy that stole my heart, but then you ran off to basic and forgot about me.”
Michael sighed and leaned back in the couch. “I was never that guy. That’s just always how you chose to see me. Cassandra, I never came back for you because I didn’t want that life. I didn’t want the obligation of having a kid to take care of. If it had been just you, I might have come back for you. I never wanted kids.”
“And now? You sure are fighting hard enough for James.”
“Honestly, Alisha thinks that I need this so that I have no regrets.”
It made my blood boil to hear him talk so flippantly about my son. “If you don’t want him, then do us all a favor and leave us alone.”
“It’s not that easy. I’ve gotten used to having him around. He’s not a bad little dude.”
“No shit. I’ve known that for eleven years now.”
“Cassie, the reason I wanted to talk to you is that I wanted to clear things up between us. Everything was such a whirlwind back then. I was young and caught up in a lot of different stuff. You were a good time and I did care about you. I’m sorry that I abandoned you.”
“How can you be sorry when you don’t really want him?”
“It’s more like, I’m sorry because I know it was a shit thing to do. I’m sorry because I left you to take care of him all by yourself.”
“But you’re not sorry that you missed out on all that time with your son.”
He didn’t say anything, which pretty much answered any questions I still had about him. He was the boy that was sorry he got caught shoplifting but not that he stole the candy.
“Look, I want to keep trying with James. This stuff doesn’t come easy to me. I always knew that I would make a shit father. That’s why I never tried to be a part of his life, but I would try anything to make Alisha happy.”
“Doesn’t that strike you as a little odd that you would do anything for your wife, but not your son?”
“Cassandra, the situation is what it is. You have a good father figure for him. I’m trying, but-”
“You’re not trying. James comes home and tells me what Alisha does with him. You’re rarely mentioned.”
“Fair enough. Look, how about we meet at the fair? Alisha can spend a little time with him and then you and Ryan can take him home for the rest of the weekend.”
“Fine. Should we meet about seven?”
“That’s fine. I’ll text you when we’re there.”
I stood and walked to the door, hoping like hell Ryan was outside waiting for me.
✯✯✯✯✯
“I got it all recorded on my phone, Ryan. The jackass admitted that he doesn’t even want James. He told me he’s only doing it to make her happy. We have to take this to Garret right away so he can do an emergency hearing or whatever the hell it is.”
I was pacing like a mad woman around the house. This could all be over so fast and I would never have to speak to Michael again.
“Calm down, Cassie. We’ll get the recording to him tomorrow morning. He’s not going to be in the office at this time of night.”
“I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe that he has so little feeling for his own son. Everything he’s doing is for her. He told me he’s getting used to having him around. Not that he wants him around. How pathetic is that?”
I sat down on the ottoman in front of Ryan and started crying. He came over and wrapped his arm around me, rubbing his hand up and down my arm.
“Hey, this is a good thing. Why are you crying?”
“Because he’s such a jackass. He has such a good kid and he doesn’t even want to get to know him. I feel so bad for James that he has such a crappy sperm donor.”
“He’s the one missing out, not James. I know that it sucks, but James has known all his life that his dad didn’t want to be around. This is nothing new to him.”
“Yes it is because now his dad is in his life and treating him like crap. At least before he didn’t have to see him every week.”
“Well, with any luck, Garret will be able to use this in court. You did a good job, babe.”
“Ryan, I don’t know what I would have done without you all this time. You’ve been my rock through all of this.”
“Cassie girl, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You’ve had me wrapped around your finger since I saw you bent over in your office that first time. You were the most gorgeous woman I’d ever met and I was tongue tied just being around you. If you hadn’t agreed to marry me, I’d still be following you around like a puppy dog.”
“I just want you to know that I love you and not just because of what you’ve done for me, but because of the man you are. You are an amazing father to James. He really loves you and I’ve always dreamed of him having a father figure to look up to. I just didn’t think it would ever happen. I never would have been able to fight Michael in court the way you’ve allowed me to. I still can’t believe you didn’t walk away when I tried my damnedest to push you away. You are an amazing man, Ryan.”
“Mrs. Jackson, the way you list my accomplishments, I think I deserve a reward.”
I grinned and batted my eyes at him. “Really, Mr. Jackson. And just what type of reward do you think you deserve?”
“I’m thinking somewhere along the lines of a certain body part being treated like a lollipop.”
I pushed him against the couch and crouched between his knees. My fingers worked at his belt and I could feel him hardening under my fingers.
“How many licks does it take to get to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?”
“Why don’t you find out?”
✯✯✯✯✯
Ryan
“Where did they say to meet them?”
We had been walking around the fair for the last fifteen minutes and I couldn’t find the stand that they were talking about.
“Hold on. I just asked them. Okay, he said it’s behind the ferris wheel.”
“We need to go that way.” I pointed for us to take a different route and within a few minutes we saw them. Well, we saw Michael. I couldn’t see Alisha or James anywhere.
“Where’s James?” Cassie asked as we came up by Michael. He was playing some shooting game, completely oblivious that we had just walked up.
“Hold on.” He shot a few more times and then the bell rang signaling the end of the game. “James is right-”
He was looking around, which had me in a panic. Cassie and I started looking frantically through the crowd, but he was nowhere to be seen.
“Where’s Alisha? Is he with her?”
“No. She decided not to come since we were just dropping him with you.”
I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him to me. “Where the hell is he? Why the fuck weren’t you watching him?”
“He’s ten years old. I didn’t think he would just wander off!”
“Cassie, you go that way. I’ll look this way. Call me if you find him!”
I ran off in the opposite direction of Cassie, which led to a parking lot. I didn’t think that he would have any reason to go to the parking lot, so I started to turn back, but at the last second I caught a glimpse of something bright yellow. I turned back and started sprinting through the parking lot. Up ahead was James in his Pittsburgh Steelers hat being dragged away by a huge fucking guy. They were headed toward a van and I could see James fighting, but he was no match for the guy.
“James!”
The guy turned and saw me running toward him, so he dragged him faster, but now that James had seen me, he was fighting even harder. I pushed myself harder, but there were so many cars that were making it difficult to sprint around. I couldn’t think of anything but getting to James before he disappeared into that van.
James landed a well placed kick to the guys knee and he temporarily went down, but he kept a firm grip on James’s shirt. He pulled him the last few feet to the van and just as the sliding door opened, he shoved James inside.
“No! Get your fucking hands off my kid!”
My heart was pumping out of my chest as panic set in. The door slid closed and the tires squealed as it peeled out of the parking lot. I continued to chase after it. I wouldn’t stop until the van was no longer in sight. By some small miracle, a car pulled out in front of the van and the two collided, giving me just enough time to catch up. I flung the driver’s side door open and pulled the guy from his seat and flung him to the ground. I didn’t think twice as I kicked him in the fucking head and knocked him out.
I ran over to the sliding door and yanked it open, standing to the side in case the guy tried anything. He came out swinging and had some good moves, but I had anger on my side. I was in no way as good a fighter as my friends, but that didn’t stop me from beating the shit out of the guy that dared to fuck with my kid.
“Hey, stop! Someone stop that man! He’s hurting that guy!” Someone was yelling in the distance, but the red haze that filled me kept me from hearing or seeing anything else. I couldn’t stop. This guy almost took something I loved and I wouldn’t let him get away with it.
When he was finally unconscious on the ground, I stepped back and looked in the van. James was sitting back against the panel of the van with wide eyes. I held out my hand and he came leaping toward me. I squeezed him to my body and held on for dear life. I had never imagined that I would ever be so terrified in all my life, but then I’d never had someone almost disappear right out from under me.
Now that he was in my arms, the shaking set in for both of us. Before I totally lost it, I called Cassandra.
“Cassie girl, I’ve got him.”
“Where was he?”
“Someone had him. They were dragging him through the parking lot, but I got him back. He’s fine. We’re on Canal street by a white van. I need you to call the police and get them over here.”
Someone else must have called already because I could hear the sirens in the distance. I leaned back against the van and sank to the ground. My legs were shaking so bad that I couldn’t hold myself up anymore. James hadn’t let go of me since he jumped into my arms and I was perfectly okay with that. I needed to hold him just as much as he needed me.
“Sir. Sir.” I looked up to see a cop standing over me. He must have been talking to me for a minute or so, but I hadn’t heard him. I was still lost in the terror of what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten to James, if that car hadn’t caused the accident.
“Sir, can you tell me what happened?”
I told the officer the whole story, all the while holding on to James. He said that he needed to talk with James at some point, but James wasn’t up to it right now. I requested that they contact Sean and told them he was a friend. The officer called him right away and told him where we were.
“James!” I looked up to see Cassandra running toward us with Michael close behind. “James! Are you okay?”
Finally lifting his head off my shoulder, James ran toward Cassie and gave her a big hug. She was asking him all sorts of questions and he told her all about how I had chased down the bad guys and beaten them up. By the time he was done, I had superhuman strength and could take on the world’s most evil villain. If only I were that lucky.
By the time Sean got there, James seemed to have recovered from the experience, but I was a mess. I was still sitting on the ground by the van and shaking like I was an addict that hadn’t had a hit in days.
“You okay, man?” Sean sat beside me and took in my state of distress.
“Not even a little bit. That was too fucking lucky. If that car hadn’t pulled out in front of the van, he’d be long gone.”
“You don’t know that.”
“No, but you don’t know that he’d be alright either. Come on, Sean. You know how many times it goes wrong. How many times don’t parents get lucky?”
“I know, but you did and you have to focus on that.” He looked at my hands that were cut and bruised. “You really beat the shit out of them. I didn’t know you could fight like that.”
“I can’t. It was all adrenaline and rage. All I could think about was how I had to fight them and get my son back.”
“We should probably take you to get your hands looked at.”
“Nah. I’ll clean them up at home and put some ice on them. I just want to get the fuck out of here.”
“I know. Let me give you guys a ride back to your truck.”
We stood up and I saw Michael standing near James and Cassandra. “Do me a favor and get that fucker away from us before I start in on him. He’s the reason James was taken. He wasn’t fucking watching him.”
Sean walked over and asked Michael to leave. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I was pretty sure he wasn’t asking politely. Michael nodded and walked away, not saying another word to Cassandra or James. Once Sean drove us back to my truck and we got home, James and I went upstairs to read for the night. Maybe we should have done something different, but I just wanted to do something normal and this was our thing.
After James went to bed, I walked downstairs feeling completely shot. I had no idea what was running through Cassie’s mind because we hadn’t had a chance to talk. Now that James was asleep, I wondered if Cassie would be mad at me for taking over when we got home. I found her in her favorite reading chair staring at the fireplace.
“Cassie? Are you okay?”
“Thanks to you I am.”
“I’m sorry I took over when we got home. I just-”
She held up a hand to stop me. “Don’t apologize. I know what you needed. He’s your son and after what you did today, there is no doubt in my mind how much you love him.”
Tears started falling as she spoke to me. “I guess it hadn’t really hit me until now because by the time I knew what had happened, it was over. But you? You had to live through the whole terrifying experience. I’m just so grateful that you were able to get to him in time.”
“Me too. All I kept thinking was that if the van got away, I would never see him again. Cassie, if that car hadn’t caused the accident, the van would have been gone. It was pure luck that was on our side today. I’m no superhero. I didn’t run at superhuman speeds to get to him or beat them with one punch. I was terrified and that’s the only thing that pushed me on.”
She snuggled up to me and slipped her arms around my waist. “Whether you think it or not, you’re my superhero. I don’t care if you beat them with one punch or twenty. You got my son back and that’s all I care about.”
I cupped my hand on the side of her face and kissed her, but I flinched when her hand brushed against my bruised knuckles. She took my hand in hers and gasped. I hadn’t really looked at them yet. My hands were swollen and I had some pretty bad cuts on my knuckles. I hadn’t felt it before, but I had been slowly coming down from the high of everything.
“Let me clean up your hand.” She led me to the bathroom and washed my cuts and put ointment on them. Then she led me into the bedroom and helped me get undressed. It was so unusual to be the one being taken care of instead of me taking care of her, but I let her do it because I knew she needed it. After I sank into bed, I let my eyes drift closed only to open them minutes later when she put something cold on my hand.
“Just leave it there. It’ll help the swelling go down.”
She snuggled into my side with her hand resting on my chest. I could still feel the slightly erratic beat of my heart, telling me I wasn’t yet over the events of the day. When Cassie finally drifted off to sleep, I allowed myself to finally let go of the tension and go to sleep.