CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Jake
Present Day…
Gone?
What did she mean he was gone?
I was off the couch in a flash, setting Skye to her feet. Reaching for her phone, I pulled it away from her ear and tapped the speaker button so I could hear what Cadence was saying too.
“I thought he must be really tired after the busy day you all had yesterday,” Cadence was saying, “so it didn’t worry me that he hadn’t come out of his room yet. I decided to check a few minutes ago. He wasn’t there. I searched everywhere. I’m outside now, circling the building.”
“Pool,” Skye shouted into the phone.
“That’s the first place I went. He wasn’t there.”
Skye pressed her palm to her eye. “He was in his pajamas. He couldn’t have gone far.”
“No. I found his pajamas on the floor. His red tennis shoes are gone. Skye, his backpack is gone too.”
He ran away? Why?
As Skye kept talking to Cadence, something clicked in my memory.
When I was leaving, I’d heard the squeak of a door and someone called my name as I sprinted out of her apartment. At the time, I remember thinking it was Skye, but had it been? Had the voice said Jake… or Dad? Daddy? I couldn’t remember, the pain of leaving them had been roaring like a lion in my head. It was more like I heard the sound of a word instead of an actual one.
If it was Jagger who called out to me, had he seen that I was upset? Had he thought I was leaving him again? Had he tried to follow me? Gotten lost? Hurt? Picked up by some stranger?
“Call the police,” I said into the phone. “Report that he’s missing and that you think he might be somewhere between your place and my building.” I looked at Skye. “I think he might have come looking for me.”
Her hand flew to her mouth.
I rattled off my address to Cadence before adding, “Skye and I will head in your direction. You come my way. I walked to your place before and it took me about an hour. It would take Jagger longer, maybe a couple hours. I think I left around four this morning, I’m not completely sure.”
Skye was already heading for the door. I followed her, punching the elevator button over and over.
“Okay. I’m calling the police now and heading your way.” She cursed. “Damn paparazzi. Leave me the hell alone,” she screamed at someone.
“No! Cadence, listen to me. Call the police and then tell all those people that Jagger is missing. Tell them that I’ll do an exclusive interview to whoever helps us find him. Let’s get as many people on Jagger’s trail as possible. Tell one to stay at the front door and one to go to the back in case he comes home. They need to call the police if they see him and don’t let him out of their sight.”
“Okay. Got it!”
She dropped the call just as the elevator opened and we dashed inside. Trevor, the operator, looked startled. “Do you need assistance, sir?”
“Have you seen a little boy outside the building this morning? This tall…” I held my hand at hip level. “Brown hair and eyes.”
“No sir, but I haven’t been at the windows. I certainly haven’t had anyone of that description request an elevator ride.”
“Okay, if you do see him, call me. Stay with him. Don’t take your eyes off him for an instant.”
Trevor gulped. “Yes, sir. I hope you find him, sir.”
The door opened. “Me too. Thanks.”
We burst into the lobby, and I questioned the doorman, giving him the same instructions as I did Trevor.
“Do you really think he would try to come here?” Skye asked, her eyes wide with fear.
“I think so. It’s the only thing that makes sense. You take this side of the street. I’ll hit the other. Look behind everything. In the alleys, behind trash cans.”
She nodded, and I crossed the street. The moments passed in complete misery as we searched. We had to find him. We had to.
A half hour later, I saw Cadence up ahead. On the other side of the street were a few of the paps.
Cadence started crying when she saw me. “Nothing?”
I shook my head. A horn blasted, and I jumped, adrenaline dumping a new load into my system. Skye was running across the street, a taxi narrowly missing her. The two women clung together and cried while the paps took pictures.
“Why did your son run away?”
“Is he your son, Jake? Can you confirm?”
I whirled on them. “Listen to me. I’ll answer your questions once I find that little boy, do you hear me? You can help or you can take pictures, but get out of my way.”
“Wait!”
I jerked my head around at Skye’s voice. Her hand was on her mouth, her fingers twisting her bottom lip. “What?”
“That day when we visited the Central Park Zoo, you told Jagg that if we ever got separated to go to—”
“The Alice in Wonderland statue,” I finished and took off at a sprint.
Weaving around pedestrians, I ran, footsteps echoing right behind me. Cutting into Central Park, I stopped to get my bearing. Skye raced past me. “This way,” she yelled, and I took off after her, catching her easily because of her sandals.
Side by side, we ran, and when I saw Alice and her friends in the distance, I looked around. There were joggers. Moms pushing strollers. Hurried looking people in business suits talking on their phones.
But no little brown-haired boy.
Still, I ran, even as a multitude of horrors ran through me.
“Jagg!” I yelled as we got closer. Skye began yelling his name too.
Then a miracle happened.
From behind the white rabbit, a little figure appeared.
Hope instead of fear shot a new dose of adrenaline through me.
“There!”
Skye sobbed and headed his way. I let her reach him first. Let her pull him into her arms. Let her kiss him all over his face. Then I sank to my knees and put my arms around them both, clinging to my lifelines of hope.
Jagger was dirty and shaking as he cried. I went to deal with the police as Skye comforted him, softly scolding him to never ever do that again.
The paps snapped pictures, and I promised to invite them each to a small press conference if they’d just leave us the hell alone for the rest of the day. I took their cards and they slunk away, but only as far as the trees, I noted. It was okay. It was enough for now.
I went back to my family.
Jagger had stopped crying and wrapped his arms around my neck as I lifted him into my arms.
“Did you come looking for me?” I asked. He nodded, and I squeezed him close and sank to the ground until he was sitting on my lap. “Promise you’ll never do that again.”
“I promise. I thought you were leaving me again, and I just wanted to tell you that I’d never be mean again if you wouldn’t leave.” He started to cry again. “I’d be good for always and always.”
My heart broke and swelled at the same time. I pulled back until I could see his face. “Jagger, I won’t leave you again. Last night…” How did I explain last night to a little boy? “Last night, I got very sad about something and went away so I could cry about it.”
He sniffed. “You cry too?”
I laughed. “You bet. Great big, ugly cries sometimes. But you know what I’m starting to learn?”
He wiped his nose with his shoulder. “What?”
“That sadness isn’t a bad thing. That it kinda indicates how important something or someone is to me.”
He peered closely into my eyes. “Am I important to you?”
My face burned, my throat threatening to clog. “Oh yes. You and your mom are the most important people in the whole world to me. And I want us to be a family.” I looked up at Skye, who was hovering a few feet away. Leaning close to Jagger’s ear, I whispered, “I want to marry your mom, with your permission of course, then you could be Jagger Daniel Crawford Truman. How does that sound to you? Can I marry your mom?”
He poked his tongue out of the corner of his mouth. “Can I have a puppy?”
I threw my head back and roared, then poked him in the stomach, making him giggle. “You’re quite the negotiator, aren’t you?”
He beamed, all the holes in his mouth showing. “I’m a man who knows what he wants.”
I stuck out my hand. “So, do we have a deal? I marry your mom and you get a puppy?”
He seemed to consider it. “And a snake?”
“Hmm… I think that might be pushing it, buddy.”
He tapped his lips with his finger, just like his mother did. “I think a puppy is fair, if I get to name it.”
I smiled and nodded. “Of course.” My hand was still sticking out, hovering in the air. “Deal?”
He shook. “Deal?” Grinning, he looked up at Skye. “Daddy’s gonna marry you,” he yelled before I could stop him.
“You’re not supposed to tell her, Jagg,” I said in a playful hiss.
He laughed. “Oops. Sometimes I talk too much.”
“Really? I’ve never noticed.”
With a grimace, I looked up at Skye again, trying to gauge her reaction. Her arms were crossed over her chest, an eyebrow lifted in question.
“Well, what do you think about that?”
She didn’t blink. “I think that is quite possibly the worst proposal in the history of proposals.”
I looked down at Jagger, who gave me a you’re on your own look. I focused back on Skye. “So maybe I’ll do better next time.”
A smile played at her lips. “I should certainly hope so.”
“A snake!” Jagg yelled on a loud whisper. “Tell him you’ll marry him if you get a snake!”
***
A month later, I still hadn’t asked Skye to marry me again because, according to Jagger, the deal was still under negotiation. Actually, it had been a lot of fun watching Jagger think of new things to add to the deal. So far, he got a puppy, the damn snake, a battery-operated Corvette that he rode all through my apartment. I promised that he could come on our honeymoon to Hawaii — the island was his choice too. When I told him he’d be staying with Aunt Cadence in a separate villa so Mommy and Daddy could have some Mommy and Daddy time, he’d reluctantly agreed with a roll of his eyes. “You’re going to kiss her again, aren’t ya?” he asked, his tongue sticking through his missing teeth.
When, during one of our negotiation sessions, he said that he wanted a backyard to play in, that got me thinking. I thought I might like to have a backyard too. So I hired a real estate agent, told her what I wanted and it only took three visits to find the perfect place.
I piled the three of us into the SUV and headed that way for the surprise. Well, for the seal of approval I should say. Out on Georgica Pond, it was a vast estate that I learned was close to Rhett Hamilton’s, the owner of the Beasts, place.
“Are we visiting someone?” Skye asked as we drove through the gates, then said, “Wow,” as the house came into view. With six bedrooms, it was more than we needed, but I thought we could grow into it one day.
“Holy cow,” Jagger said from the back seat.
Not saying a word, I opened the door and before I could walk around, Jagg and Skye were out too.
“There’s a pool and a lake!”
Taking Skye’s hand, we watched our son run around the yard, blowing off some energy before heading to the front door. “Jake, who lives here?”
I just smiled at her and stuck a key in the lock. Jagg came clomping up the steps behind us. “This place is so cool.”
“Jake…” her voice had a warning tone underneath it.
I held up the key as we all entered the massive foyer. “This could be our home, if you like it.”
The look on her face was priceless as she stared at me, then turned in a circle to take in the elegant but open floor plan. She looked like she was in a trance as she walked room to room, Jagger racing ahead.
“Sooo?” I prodded when she’d been through the entire house.
“It’s incredible. Even more beautiful than your uncle’s home.”
“Yes, it is. But it’s livable too. Not some museum. A place for Jagger to play and not have to worry about getting things dirty. There’s a separate two bedroom guesthouse as well as a one bedroom pool house. There’s also one bedroom over the garage too. Cadence could move in one of the places if she wanted.”
I was rambling, overselling I knew, but I couldn’t seem to stop talking until Skye placed a hand over my lips, smiling up at me. “I love it, Jake. I’m overwhelmed a bit. I never imagined getting to live in such a place.
“Weeeee!”
We both looked up to see Jagger sliding down the long banister, a huge grin on his face.
“Well, I think he likes it,” I said with an equally large grin.
Skye grimaced. “I can see some trips to the urgent care in our future.”
I chucked her softly on the chin. “Hey now, we’re supposed to be living in the moment, remember. Not focusing on the past or future.”
That was another reason I hadn’t asked her yet. I’d started seeing a therapist and wanted to prove to Skye that I was serious about getting help. Since the day we found Jagger in the park, I’d seen her twice a week, working through all the shit in my head.
Skye was right. It was helping. I still jumped at loud sounds, but I’d started to learn to laugh when I did it instead of thinking badly about myself. I still had nightmares and sometimes woke to find Skye watching me from the chair, out of my reach.
It was working.
My little family was working. And it was time to make it official.
“Let’s go outside,” I called to Jagger, and he pounded across the floor, throwing open one of the many sets of terrace doors making up the back wall of the house.
We walked past the pool and down toward the water where Jagger started picking up rocks and throwing them in, raising his arms in the air each time one made a splash.
“Hey, Jagg. Is this backyard big enough for you?”
“Yeah, way big.”
I stuck my hand out. “So, do we have a deal?”
His tongue poked out and his palm slapped mine, giving me a firm shake. “Deal!”
With a long exhale, I turned to Skye. “Whew, that took long enough.”
She was grinning like a fool. “So, does that mean you finally get to ask me a very serious question?”
My heart began to pound as I dug into my pocket and sank to one knee. “Skye, I love you. I’ve loved you all my life. I’ll love you for the rest of it. And I’ll love our son, take care of you both. It’s been a long and interesting journey for us to get to this but place, but Skye Crawford… will you make me the happiest and most grateful man in the universe and marry me. Please.”
Tears filled her eyes as I reached for her hand to slide the enormous diamond on it.
“No.”
Huh?
I rose to my feet, my legs a little unsteady. “No?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “No.”
I stared at her. “Um, well…” I was three seconds away from jumping in the water.
She gave me a soft smile. “You have one last thing. No, two last things to do before I say yes.”
I continued to stare.
“You have to ask my father…”
No. No. Nooooo. I wanted to drop to the ground and throw a temper tantrum that would rival Jagger’s on his very worst day.
I gulped. “Okay. What’s the second?”
It was her turn to stare at me, a brow lifted. I knew what she meant. “You want me to visit Trey’s grave?”
She nodded.
I grabbed her hand. “Okay, let’s go right now.”
***
It took a few hours to get there, and we were lucky that Jagg slept most of the way. Once we crossed the town’s line, my heart started beating hard. First, we visited my Uncle Paul, who cried the moment he saw me.
“I’m so proud of you, Jake,” he said for the first time in my life.
I promised him that we would be back later, and he offered to let us spend the night. I accepted gratefully, thinking I’d finally get to fuck Skye Crawford in my old bedroom.
Her house was harder.
Jagg burst from the car and ran up the small porch and through the door without even knocking. “Mamaw. Papaw. Look who’s here to surprise you!” I heard him yell all the way from the driveway.
Soon, the door opened again and Mrs. Crawford appeared, Jagger sitting on her hip. Mr. Crawford was right behind her. They were both grinning, then the smile slid off both of their faces as they saw me.
Shit.
It was awkward for the first hour. They tried to be polite, asking polite questions, serving polite lemonade with polite cookies. When I asked Mr. Crawford if I could speak with him, I thought for sure he was going to tell me no.
We went for a walk, and I told him the entire story. I didn’t leave anything out. Well, except the doing his daughter twice part.
“I want to marry, Skye. I want Jagger to have my name.”
He scowled at me. “Is that what they want too?”
I laughed and told him about the month-long negotiation process we’d just been through. For the first time, he laughed too.
“That kid is something. We don’t get to see him enough.”
“I’m buying us a place. It has a nice guesthouse as well as a pool house, and an apartment over the garage. We have plenty of room and would love for you and Mrs. Crawford to visit, stay for weeks, months.” I lifted a shoulder. “Move there if you want.”
He smiled, and it felt genuine. “Boy, you have more money than sense.”
I grinned at him. “Yes, sir.”
He scratched his chin. “Being closer to Skye would be good. It’s a nice offer. Thank you.”
The silence stretched, causing my nerves to stretch too. “So… about marrying Skye?”
He sighed, his shoulders going up then down with the heaviness of it. “Jake, I’ve known for years how my daughter feels about you. Hell, I’ve known for years how you felt about her. Now, I didn’t know about all those other shenanigans going on behind the scenes, and I don’t approve of you getting her pregnant, but now that I know the story, I can understand it better.”
A tiny bit of tension left my body.
He stabbed a hand in my direction, so fast I nearly jumped away from it. “I think you’ll make a fine son-in-law, Jake. Treat her and my grandson right and we won’t have any trouble.”
We shook, and I felt my face splitting open. “Thank you, sir. We won’t have any trouble at all.”
After an hour or so, Skye and I left for the graveyard, leaving Jagg with his grandparents. My heart thumped as we drove over the patch of road where Trey died. It thumped harder as we pulled into the cemetery. It was beating wildly when we parked near his marker.
Skye linked her fingers through mine as we walked over to where he lay.
“I’m sorry, Trey,” I said to the granite when I was able to speak. I’d known that being here like this would be different, but I couldn’t have guessed how hard. “I miss you, man, and I wish I could tell you this in person. I wish things could have been different. I wish I could ask for your forgiveness. But they can’t, and I can’t.” Hot, burning tears seared my sinuses. “Just know that I love you. I think of you every day of my life. And it’s time I let you go rest in peace.”
I pulled my phone from my pocket and tapped the screen, bringing up his last voice message to me. My thumb paused over the delete button.
“Goodbye, Trey. You were the best friend a man could ask for. I hope you don’t hate me anymore.”
I tapped delete and watched the message disappear. The last link holding me to the pain and guilt. I wished some bird or rainbow would appear, giving me some sign that I had his blessing. But things didn’t happen like that in real life. Instead, my sign was the woman beside me who hooked her hand through my arm.
She was where my focus would be. Skye and Jagger, and any little ones who followed.
With one more stop to make, I led Skye back to the car and drove to the place in the woods where we first made love. There, Skye pulled her phone from her pocket.
“I need to do something too.” She went to her email and I realized what it was. “I never listened to the video message you sent me that night,” she confessed, her thumb hovering over the delete button. “Do I want to?”
I shook my head, remembering crying into the camera, trying to convince her she was better off without me.
“I didn’t think so.” With a sigh, she tapped the button and it was gone before also deleting the one I’m made for my son.
Poof.
I wished we could do the same in our brains so easily.
We smiled at each other, the weight of a million pounds lifting away from us both. It was time. I pulled the ring Jagger had helped me pick out from my pocket, an incredible five-karat French-set halo diamond with a cushion center stone.
This time, when I sank to the ground, Skye went down with me.
“Yes,” she said before I could ask, and we both laughed, kissing as I pushed the ring on her finger.
We made love in those same woods again, her back against the tree as I pulled her skirt up and her panties down. I’d worshiped her before, and I worshiped her then, with a new level of love and passion between us.
In these woods, we’d conceived a baby, creating a bond that even our stubbornness, pain, and stupidity couldn’t break. A large part of me wished she wasn’t on the pill so we could conceive another.
“I love you, Skye,” I whispered against her lips as I slipped a finger inside her, my thumb brushing over her clit.
She moaned, throwing her head back to look up at me. “I love you too. So very much.”
She sucked in a shuddering breath as I added a second finger, stretching her so she’d be ready for me. I touched all the places I knew drove her crazy, watching her face as I gave her what she needed.
She whimpered, one of the hottest little sounds I’d ever heard as she came, her muscles clenching around my fingers. I didn’t let her rest, just continued building her toward a second release.
As I watched her face, her body seized, and she keened. She shuddered, eyes screwed shut, breasts heaving, and I committed the sight to my memory forever.
While she was still panting, I slid inside her, groaning as she gripped every inch of me as I lifted and lowered her onto my cock. She held onto me so tight, it was like she never wanted to let me go.
I kissed her neck, her ear, her forehead, her lips, unable to get enough. Over and over, I told her how much I adored her, how beautiful she was, how perfect.
My fingers dug into the soft flesh of her hips as I made love to her, desperate to make her feel every inch of me. Time stretched out, snapped back, and froze just for us. Her moans reached a crescendo, ending with a wail just as her pussy gripped my cock so tightly I couldn’t hold back any longer. I plunged in one last time and came with a wild roar, shuddering with the force of my climax.
We stayed like that for a while, locked together. Kissing. Breathing. Sweating.
And as we walked back to our car, hands tightly linked together, the woods of our childhood were no longer haunted. Together, we’d exorcised the demons of our past.