CHAPTER FOUR
I gazed out the window over my kitchen sink at the pool lights glowing beneath the water. They danced about as the water rippled in the breeze, tempting me to join them.
I had work to do, but for the first time in a long time, I couldn’t bring myself to open my computer. I always had work to do. Things never stopped in my profession, and I liked to be ahead of the game. The big project for Stafford Scientific loomed close, and one of the consultants was expecting a baby, so needed time off soon. But I couldn’t even wrap my head around going into my home office and sitting down at the desk. Or going to the gym. Or making a run to the grocery store.
I just kept standing there and staring out the window.
Starlet’s nails clipped against the linoleum as she headed for her water bowl in the corner.
A vision of Seth’s blue eyes filled the kitchen window and stared back at me.
“Ugh,” I spat. Usually, when I couldn’t get a man off my mind, it was because of some worthwhile attribute, like his abs or his skills in bed. Eyes weren’t something I noticed. Yet I couldn’t stop thinking about Seth’s.
When was the last time I’d been so fixated on a man’s peepers?
Sophomore year at NYU. That had to be it. Whit Burke. We dated for six months, and then he broke up with me because he “wasn’t ready for a girlfriend.” I was crushed at first, but then quickly realized that I needed to focus on school and my career.
I’d been in love with Whit. That was for sure. Flash forward and here I was, in Whit’s shoes, “not ready” for a boyfriend. Or, more specifically, not interested in one.
I had to remember that last part.
I couldn’t be in love with Seth. Or even in like with him. I didn’t even know him.
And I couldn’t be crushing on him. Not after only one — annoying — interaction.
I huffed and pushed myself off the counter. I had to do something. Retrieving my phone from my purse, I pulled up Matt’s text from the day before. He’d been down to meet up last night, so maybe the offer still stood. My fingers hesitated over the keypad.
I couldn’t do it.
He was a pleasant person to be around, someone with a nice smile and a good pack of abs. Yet tonight he seemed incredibly unappealing.
Worst of all, each time I thought of him I ended up imagining Seth instead.
Damn it.
The bright yellow post-it stared up at me from my purse and begged me not to call Matt. There’s more out there, it said. It pressed me to pick it up and dial the number written across its face.
“Geez,” I sighed, snatching up the paper. “Fine.”
So, Seth was cocky and spoke out of place. Who cared? As for my obsession with his eyes, a taste of his body would likely take care of that. If we didn’t connect in bed, all right then. It might be good. If not, I could send him on his way and move on with my life.
But if we did connect in bed…
I gulped and keyed his number into my phone. I’d cross that bridge when I got to it. And here’s hoping I got to it soon.
I made the text as concise as possible, telling him thank you for his invite to dinner and would he perhaps like to come over for a drink instead? I thought about apologizing for my exit the other night but decided to save that for in person. Instead, I tacked on a bit about knowing it was getting late in the evening, but that tonight was great for me if he could make it.
He replied after only a minute. Sounds nice. I’m free now.
My heart beat lodged in my throat. I texted him my address and told him to come on over.
Tossing my phone down, I rushed to the bathroom. Thank God I shaved in all the appropriate places this morning.
I showered quickly, touched up my makeup, and pulled on a matching set of pink lace lingerie. I didn’t have to wonder where the night was headed. Seth was a man, and I was a woman. It was almost ten p.m. on a Tuesday night, and I’d just invited him over last minute for “a drink.” It was pretty simple math.
I opened the back door to let Starlet out into the yard. Being mid-August, the nights were wonderfully balmy. She scurried past me and headed for the fence, where she sniffed the boards to see what night critters had stopped by.
We’d been in the Mediterranean style house for almost a year, and I loved it. It was the first home I’d owned, the first place I’d lived in that wasn’t an apartment since high school in upstate New York. Buying a house meant something big to me. I’d achieved something gigantic. I was my own woman, one who gave herself everything she needed and wanted.
I didn’t need a man to hand me things.
Other than an orgasm every once in a while.
The doorbell rang. My heart fluttered. I nearly tripped over my own feet as I walked through the kitchen. I checked my reflection one last time in the mirror hanging next to the kitchen entry, then made my way across the foyer and unlocked the front door. Taking a moment to compose myself, I lifted my shoulders and wiped the grin off my face before turning the knob.
Seth waited on the stoop in a tight, dark blue t-shirt and jeans. His hair was messier than before, and it made him twice as delicious looking.
“Hi,” he said and smiled. “How are you?”
“Great. Come on in.”
He walked inside as if in slow motion, every step he made deliberate. I shut and locked the door behind him, sealing the fate of the night. Here we were. I’d done it. I invited him in. There was only one place to go from here.
“Wow.” He stopped and stared at the fountain that ran down the whole height of the wall. “That’s nice.”
“Thanks.” I admired the cascading water. “It was here when I moved in. Definitely the first thing I fell in love with. Would you like a drink?”
“Sure. Thank you.”
I led the way back through the kitchen to the breakfast room off to the side, where I kept my bar, aware of Seth checking out the house the whole way.
“What do you drink?” I shot a backwards glance at Seth, and my breath hitched up a notch at the thought of running my fingers over his barely concealed abs.
“What are you having?”
I studied the bottles. “Tonight? Whiskey.”
“That sounds nice.”
I poured the drinks into my fancy glass tumblers and gave him a tour of the downstairs, which consisted of the dining room, sun room, and entertainment room. Upstairs were the bedrooms and my office, but he would have to wait to see those. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself. We were still playing cat and mouse, and nothing could be gained by giving my strategy away.
We finished on the back patio, which overlooked the pool and the small guest house. I still harbored the dream I’d had when I bought the property of having big soirees that required filling up both the guest rooms and the three-bed guest house, but so far I’d been too busy to bring that dream to fruition.
Starlet trotted up to us, her nose turned up in interest at the newcomer. She tentatively sniffed at the bottom of his jeans, seeing where he’d been and who he’d met.
Seth put his hand down for her to sniff. “A fierce watch dog, huh?”
I sipped my whiskey. “Yes, against chicken and ham. She’ll devour any deli meat that tries to cross that fence.”
He smiled at my joke, the porch lights illuminating white teeth. “I better watch my humor then.”
I stared at him in confusion.
“So I don’t ham it up,” he explained with a smirk that revealed a sexy dimple.
“Oh!” I laughed out loud, partly because the joke was so bad and partly because it had gone right over my head.
“Sorry. It’s not very good.”
“You tried.”
He smiled again, and a light tremor went through me.
“Have a seat,” I offered, settling down on my favorite lounge chair, the one with the sunny floral pattern.
He took the matching wicker loveseat a couple feet away.
I cleared my throat. “I want to apologize about the other day. I was rude.” Although totally correct in my assertion. But since I’m just interested in sex, that’s all water under the bridge.
“Thank you,” he said solemnly. “And don’t worry about it. I apologize as well. What I said was probably out of line.”
“Oh.”
His apology was not what I expected. Was he being genuine, or just feeding me what he thought I wanted to hear, like I was with him? Did it matter? If we wanted the same thing, then it didn’t.
I smiled. “Thank you. I hope we can move on.”
Starlet jumped up into my lap. I scratched her ear, letting her settle there for the time being. She wasn’t being a cock block just yet. “How did you find me?”
His lips pursed slightly, like he was trying not to smile. “You weren’t that hard to track down. The second person I asked knew who you were.”
“Ah.”
“I like the name Mahogany, by the way, but it turns out most people don’t know you by it.”
I laughed out loud. “That’s what they call me at work. Mistress Mahogany, actually.”
He grinned. “Sounds like an exciting place to work.”
“Oh, it is. The interns love it when I punish them.”
Suddenly his face grew serious, his voice low. “I like Quinn.”
Something deep in my stomach twisted. “Thanks.”
The mood shifted in the air, and I vibrated between giddy and anxious. Not knowing how to deal with this new feeling, I took another sip of whiskey, enjoying the familiar burn against my tongue, then set it down on the glass table between us. Two drinks were my limit, and I’d already had those at the hotel bar. The third drink at home was merely a formality so Seth wouldn’t feel weird drinking alone. If I kept feeling all gushy, though, I was going to have to fudge that limit.
“Where are you from, Quinn Laurent?”
I swallowed hard and tried to act blasé. “Buffalo, New York.”
“And how did you end up in Chicago?”
“I went to school at NYU, then came here because of business. It seemed like the best move at the time.”
“It appears to have turned out fortuitous for you.” He glanced around the patio.
“Extremely fortuitous.” I waited for his response, thinking maybe he’d try to talk shop again. If so, I’d let him. His trespasses could be forgiven. I was looking for a bedmate.
I leaned slightly in his direction. “And how about you? What brought you to the big, fierce city of Chicago?”
“I’m from north of here. From a little town a couple hours away. Friends led me here… and a need to just… get away.”
“And the Army Reserve. That’s impressive. What steered you there?”
He opened his mouth, then paused. A plethora of things flashed across his face, but none stayed long enough for me to pick up on them. “I didn’t want to go to college. I felt I needed to do something.”
He set his whiskey down on the table next to mine. “I didn’t see any art in your house. What’s up with that?”
I laughed. “We’re back to that conversation, huh? Well, I just moved in here last year, and I haven’t had a lot of time to think about decorating.”
His eyes sparkled. “I could curate the project if you like.”
I snorted. “No, thanks. They have professionals for that.”
Starlet stood and turned around in my lap, making a circle and then laid back down.
“You don’t trust me?” Seth asked.
“It’s hardly a matter of trust.”
He leaned closer, and the environment between us shifted. “You invited me into your house.”
“Was I wrong to do that?” I shot back.
The life in his eyes perked up a little bit. “What do you think?”
“I guess time will tell. But as far as decorating… that’s a big task to assign to someone, and I don’t know you.” I smiled to show him I was mostly joking — as well as flirting. “Sorry, not sorry.”
“All right, so you don’t know me… but I could change that.” The connotation in his words made my temperature climb.
I swallowed hard. “That would be nice.”
Seth moved in his seat, and I leaned forward slightly. Instead of coming over to kiss me, though, he patted Starlet and just rearranged himself in his chair.
I reached for my drink, trying to act like I’d been going for it the whole time and had not totally thought he was moving in for a kiss.
“Tell me something,” he said softly. “If you don’t mind… you’re, what? Twenty...”
“Five.”
“All right,” he nodded. “You’re a successful business woman, and, from what I’ve seen, someone who knows just what she wants. How did you become so confident?”
I automatically said, “My father. He taught me hard work.”
Seth studied me. “But it’s more than that.”
“What do you mean?”
“What you possess is more than that. I see you’re devoted to the idea of hard work, but lots of people are. That doesn’t get them to the kind of success you’ve already achieved. You have something else driving you as well. You know yourself.”
My eyelashes fluttered. “I certainly hope I do.”
“It’s refreshing.” His blue gaze was steady on mine.
I broke the eye contact, set my untouched drink down and stretched my cramped legs out. Starlet grunted in protest. “You don’t know many people like me, huh?”
“Maybe a few, but they’ve usually been through the ringer.”
“And you think I haven’t?”
He squinted his eyes at me. “Maybe everyone has in their own way.”
“I haven’t,” I admitted, taking myself by surprise with the sudden honesty. “Not really. Not unless you count a typical suburban upbringing as going through the ringer.”
“So you’re realistic too. You don’t see yourself as unduly treated.”
“No,” I said slowly, annoyed. He was working way too hard to figure me out. This wasn’t supposed to be some kind of date. I’d invited him to my house late at night for a reason. It was time to put my plan into action.
Lifting a sleeping Starlet, I set the dog in the chair next to me and then purposely leaned in Seth’s direction. He watched me with a blank expression on his face.
“Do you want to see the upstairs?”
For a second his face became unreadable. The moment filled with anticipation, like when I watched a balloon being pumped full of air. I held my breath, waiting for it to pop, each second stretching into a minute. This was my favorite moment, the one right before I knew I was going to kiss a man for the first time. I wanted his touch so badly, I was dying to have his lips against mine, but I also never wanted it to happen, because that meant the magical before moment would disappear and never come back.
Seth didn’t move. He gazed back at me. My eyelids grew heavier, my palms warm.
“I’m good down here,” he replied. “Maybe next time you can show me.”
The entire universe screeched to a stop, the sound of its abrupt halt a violent noise that should have had Starlet jumping up and unleashing a barking frenzy.
Hold… On…. What the fuck?
A ball of fire spun in my stomach, leaching hot shame out into my veins.
I had just been shot down.
And by a man who, according to Rory, had a reputation of “getting around?” It made no sense. Was there something wrong with me?
I cleared my throat and grabbed my whiskey. Screw my two-drink limit. There were some situations that absolutely called for getting tipsy, and this happened to be one of them. I was pretty sure everyone and their uncle would agree on that.
“Do you go swimming a lot?” Seth asked as if the last two minutes hadn’t occurred, and I wasn’t now sitting in front of him drinking like a fish suffering through a major depression.
I swallowed the lump in my throat so I could speak properly. “When I have time. Every once in a while, I’ll have my friends over on the weekend, and we’ll lay out back here.”
“The friends you were at the opening with?”
“Yes… those friends.”
I resisted saying more. The night had turned out to be nothing like I planned and I was tired of small talk. Not only were Seth and I nowhere close to even halfway naked, our conversation was exceptionally… decent. Pleasing, even. At least it would have been to anyone else. Anyone who was interested in the end result of dating.
It suddenly struck me as sad that a nice conversation shocked me so much. After so many bad dates and hot men with rocks for brains, I guess I’d just forgotten that sometimes I could talk to a guy and enjoy keeping things at just that. When I did run across a man who held my interest, the option to keep seeing him wasn’t even there. I simply didn’t have the time. Or the desire to get attached.
So, what to do with Seth? Tell him goodnight and kick him out?
Keep the convo going and hope he eventually warmed up to taking things to bed?
Bed didn’t seem plausible anymore. The extra sips of whiskey warmed my limbs and made my head fuzzy, and it had been too long since I’d just sat around and shot the shit with a hot man I could bear to talk to.
I sighed and changed my mind about small talk. “What do you do on the weekends?” I let my head fall back against the headrest.
“Sometimes I have training to go to, but usually I’m free. I like to head out of the city, go camping.”
“By yourself?”
“Usually, yeah.”
“That sounds nice,” I murmured and blinked heavily. The lines of Seth’s body began to blur.
“My buddies Dawson and Mike sometimes come with, if they’re not busy.”
A slight breeze tickled my arms, relaxing me further. “Tell me more.” My eyes closed and Starlet snuggled up against my thigh, her heat and the lounge chair seeming nearly as comfortable as my own bed. All I needed was a sleep mask.
“One of our favorite places to go is Shawnee National Forest. You ever been there?”
“No,” I breathed.
One more minute and I would open my eyes. I would tell Seth I was uncomfortable outside, invite him in for another drink…
“It’s beautiful there,” he explained. “It’s a bit of a drive from here. Six hours, maybe. But it’s worth it in every way. It’s so lush with trees, and the rock formations are gorgeous. There’s this great spot I always hike to. You have to go through a valley with all these boulders. The trail winds around the rocks and the whole time it’s like walking through a stone labyrinth.”
The scene he described filled my vision, replacing the blank blackness. I saw the forest in the fall, reds, golds, and browns covering the trees and ground.
Seth kept going, but each word had less and less meaning. I was good and lost in his labyrinth, feeling my way through it with my palms pressed against the stones. He was there, next to me, his penetrating gaze drilling into mine. Out there in the middle of nowhere; there were no meetings to get to, no agendas or quotas to fill.
Only the crisp leaves and those deep blue eyes.