CHAPTER SIX
Twenty-two. Twenty-three. Sometimes when I was overwhelmed, I sat at my desk and counted the windows of the building across the street. It worked as a meditative act, helping me focus.
Today it didn’t.
Today I felt...Giddy? Scared?
The strange emotions were much like the ones that had paralyzed me in the kitchen the night before, but now they were even stronger.
I couldn’t get Seth off my mind. All day long, in between the phone calls, the emails, the meetings, and the plannings, he was there.
I wasn’t a dumb-ass. And not as emotionless as I’d like to be. “Independent woman” and all aside, I had feelings. I could fall for a guy just as easily as the next girl.
I just tried to keep that shit compartmentalized. If it looked like crushing was about to happen hard core, I backed up — sometimes out all the way. I either started seeing the guy less, or not at all.
I’d done a pretty good job — except with Whit. Luckily, after him, I hadn’t fallen too hard for anyone. Probably thanks to my careful watch. But then Seth had refused to go up to the bedroom.
Seth and I had hardly spent any time together, and I was already ga-ga over him.
My grip tightened around the pen in my hand. I clicked the button, retracting the tip over and over.
I could just never see him again. I could ignore his texts and calls. I’d done it before.
But that would drive me crazy. I would hate myself for letting him slip away.
Letting him slip away…
Just thinking like that was dangerous.
I could call Matt and screw him, see if that got Seth off my mind.
But I already knew it wouldn’t.
Maybe there was a better answer. Maybe I wasn’t as infatuated as I thought. I barely knew the guy. The first conversation we had turned me off completely. Perhaps we weren’t that compatible. Seth happened to be semi-decent, as well as hot. It could be the combination, one surprisingly hard to come by. It had me reading way too much into my feelings.
Maybe all I really did want was to bang him.
But once wouldn’t be enough. It could take a few times, or more, to get him out of my system. I could drag it out over the course of a few weeks.
Or I could make it a quick project. Get my need for him out and over in one short weekend.
The idea hit me like a bolt of lightning. I dug my heels into the carpet and pushed my chair down the length of my desk, where I hit the keyboard.
In less than five minutes I found the perfect place. A beautiful weekend retreat just three hours out of the city. The lodge sat on the edge of a small lake and boasted canoeing opportunities, fishing, full room service, and couples massages.
It was perfect. One weekend spent there, banging Seth, and I’d come home beyond full of him. I’d never want to see him again.
I just needed a plan to get him there.
We had only just met. Inviting him to go away with me for the weekend seemed a little extreme. I played with my earring and bit the inside of my cheek. I’d have to employ the use of a little white lie. And I couldn’t feel bad about it. White lies were a part of life, used all the time in business and personal affairs, to keep ourselves and other people happy.
I’d tell Seth I booked the retreat months ago, planning on a weekend getaway with one of my friends. I’d say it was Heather and explain she ended up having to back out because of her sister’s baby shower. Much of what I said would be true. Heather did have to go to her sister’s shower this weekend.
It would be a half-lie.
Which meant it would also be a half-truth.
I called Seth right away and waited with bated breath while the phone rang.
“Hey,” he answered, sounding a little out of breath himself.
I tried to ignore the way my heart swelled and spoke slowly. “Hi. I hope I’m not bothering you.”
Had he also been thinking of me?
“Not at all. I just finished working out.”
The words, with or without a shirt on, almost popped out of my mouth. I could imagine sweat running down his tight abs.
“O-oh,” I stammered. “Great. Great, timing then.” I licked my lips and composed myself. “Listen, I wanted to see what you were doing this weekend. I know it’s kind of a long shot, but weeks ago I booked this retreat for me and my friend. It’s at this resort on the edge of Crystal Lake. Do you know of it?”
“I’ve heard of it, yeah. It’s supposed to be pretty nice up there.”
“Right, that’s what I’ve heard. So, here’s the thing. Unfortunately, my friend had to cancel, so now I’m headed out there alone. Unless you, uh, you would like to join me.”
I cringed and waited for his response. He would probably laugh and say I was crazy for inviting him away for a weekend, after us spending a couple hours total together.
A long, long, long few seconds passed.
“That sounds wonderful. I would love to go.”
My mouth dropped open. I could hardly believe it.
“Great,” I croaked. “That’s great. I’ll text you the information. How does leaving around seven on Saturday morning sound? We could go later if that’s too early for you.”
“That’s just great. Don’t worry about me. I’m an early riser.”
“Okay. Wonderful.”
I could already imagine us in a canoe, the sun playing over his biceps as he paddled us to a secluded side of the lake. I would spread out a blanket and open the picnic basket.
But instead of eating, he’d screw me out in the wide-open air till the sun went down.
And then I could finally get past him.