CHAPTER NINE
The cool sheets pressed against my bare skin. My eyes still closed, I stretched, pushing my toes down towards the end of the bed. Sleeping naked was a luxury I didn’t partake of nearly enough. Opening my eyes, I rolled over onto my back.
Cristiano’s bedroom was eerily quiet. I held my breath and listened for even the slightest noise in the apartment, but there was only the wind pushing against the building.
Running my hand over the back of my head, I sat up. The beginnings of a small knot was snarled in the back of my hair, and I did my best to run my fingers through it as I climbed out of bed.
The bedroom door was cracked. I peeked my head into the hallway, looking left and right. Still no noises, and no one in sight.
“Hello?” I called.
No answer.
Thinking it best to not walk around naked in an apartment where a housekeeper supposedly showed up every morning, I went back and pulled my dress on.
The dining room was clear from last night’s dinner, and the kitchen just as immaculate. What time did Cristiano say the housekeeper came? Eight? Did that mean she’d come and gone? If so, just how long had I been sleeping?
A sheet of paper sat on the polished island, a note scrawled on it.
Blaire,
I had to run to a meeting and didn’t want to wake you. Stay as long as you like and help yourself to breakfast. The coffee pot is full and ready to go. Have a wonderful day. Let’s talk later.
-Cristiano
I smiled to myself. The tone of the note seemed friendly enough, so hopefully I wasn’t intruding by sleeping in. I turned to look at the time on the stove. Almost ten.
“Wow,” I muttered under my breath. Apparently, the time I’d been spending with Cristiano was really taking it out of me. I couldn’t remember the last time I slept in so late.
A full fruit basket sat next to the coffee pot. I hit the brew button and grabbed an apple. While I waited for the java to finish dripping, I went in search of my stuff. I couldn’t remember where I’d left my purse, but I found it hanging on a chair in the dining room. My phone was half dead, and I had one text, a message from my army friend asking if I wanted to meet up for coffee.
I quickly responded. I didn’t see Seth near enough. We’d served together in Afghanistan, and he was currently in reserves. He was one of those people you could go six months without talking to and then just pick right up where you’d left off. Though it had only been about a month since we’d hung out, I still felt guilty about not staying in touch. I sent him the suggestion of the Starbucks right across from Maggie Daley park, then took a moment to think about the time. I really needed to go home and change first. But that would take way too long.
And then I remembered my clean gym clothes sitting in the truck of my car. I could just throw on my shorts and tank top. Plus, there was a pair of sneakers in the duffel bag.
Everything settled, I finished my apple and chugged half a cup of coffee, merely because I felt bad about brewing the whole pot and then not having any.
Not sure about what to do about the front door, I locked the handle and pulled it shut with a click.
A new staff waited downstairs. I felt self-conscious walking past them in heels and a dress. Though I’d washed the makeup off my face, I was undoubtedly still performing what could be classified as a walk of shame. They kept it professional, though, smiling and telling me to have a good day.
The valet brought my car around, which presented a problem relating to changing clothes. Just where would I do it?
After driving a couple blocks, I found a parking spot on the street, where I proceeded to change in the car.
Shorts under dress. Shirt on top of dress. Dress up and through shirt’s head hole. It was a method I hadn’t used in years, but I was thankful to summer camp for teaching me at least one usable skill.
The Starbucks bustled with activity. I stepped to the side and searched the place for Seth, but couldn’t find him anywhere. The crowd was a gaggle of businessmen and women in suits and moms in workout gear, strollers and kids at their sides. No muscled brunette guy with sparkling blue eyes.
“Looking for me?”
I turned at the sound of his voice. The door closing behind him, he stepped to the side to join me against the wall.
“You’ll do,” I responded, taking a step forward to give him a hug. A blonde coming through the door looked at us with a hint of jealousy.
“You look good,” Seth said, stepping back.
“So do you.”
Actually, Seth always looked good. He was, without argument, a hunk. There had been a time, years ago, when I entertained the idea of being romantically attracted to him. But though Seth was extremely cute and we had a lot in common, one thing we didn’t have was that zing. He was more like a brother to me than anything else.
We ordered iced lattes and waited by the stools for them to come up. It was too loud to hold a proper conversation in the coffee shop, so once we had our drinks, we headed outside and across the street to the park.
“Something’s different about you,” Seth announced the second after our feet hit the paved trail that wound its way around the park.
I pulled my sunglasses on and innocently sipped my latte. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, so what is it?”
“You tell me.” I lightly jabbed my elbow at his side.
“You’re glowing... are you pregnant?”
I jabbed him again, but harder this time. “Har har,” I dryly said. “Very funny.”
He mischievously grinned. “Derek would be a good daddy.”
“Derek and I are done.”
“Really?”
“Yep. You didn’t read about it online?”
He rubbed his chin and looked thoughtful. “Come to think of it, I do recall seeing something...”
I’d never changed my status on Facebook in my life, so I knew he was lying.
“You’re not going to ask me what happened?”
“Oh, I can guess.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I don’t think you knew Derek enough to make that call.”
“Yeah, but I know you, and I only had to meet that guy a couple times to know he wasn’t right for you.”
“That’s what Evie said.”
“How’s she doing?”
I rolled my eyes. “She’s still not interested in you, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“Damn it. What did I do wrong?”
“You want an honest answer?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Yes.”
“She’s not really into... macho guys.”
He made a sputtering noise. “Whatever. Let’s change the subject.”
I chuckled. “Fine with me.”
“You don’t seem to be upset about this break-up.”
I shrugged and looked off in the direction of the tennis courts. “It was inevitable.”
“And you’re also fucking someone else. Or you’re about to be.”
I stuck my tongue out at him. Seth could be crass. It was annoying sometimes, but in general, I admired his bluntness.
“Come on,” he needled. “Spill.”
“I just started seeing someone,” I explained. “I don’t know where it’s going yet.”
“So that’s the glow.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“And yet you talk about it like you’re not excited.”
I sighed. “I...” I bit my lip and looked down at the pavement. “I am. I feel... really excited. And that scares me.”
“Hm.”
I wondered if I was getting too gooey and emotional for Seth.
“I feel like I can’t let him know me,” I further explained.
Seth guffawed. “Well, we all feel like that, don’t we? People who have served, I mean. At least to some degree.”
I looked at him. “I guess.”
“It’s why we need each other.”
I smiled at him, knowing just what he meant.
As we walked, a thoughtful look — or maybe it was a pained one — came over his face.
“There are things we can’t tell everyone,” he softly said.
My heart jerked. Seth didn’t share his past with a lot of people, but I knew more about it than most. When he talked about us in the military not always being able to open up to others, what he referenced went deeper than just holding onto a light facade. Seth had experienced real pain. Real loss. And though it was something we rarely talked about, us sharing the losses in our past was one of the deepest things that bonded us.
“It feels bad,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “That I can’t.”
Seth sighed. “It’s not so simple.”
“No,” I agreed. “It’s not.”
“You don’t have to feel guilty about it though. That’s just the way it is.”
We passed a garbage bin, and I dumped my empty latte cup into it. “It sucks.”
“Well, what are you going to do?”
I sighed. “Be honest... I guess.”
The thought made me cringe.
“I wouldn’t suggest doing that if it’s not good for the relationship.”
Seth looked at me with interest. He knew I was hiding something — something I hadn’t shared with him, though he was one of my closest friends. He didn’t say anything though. As blunt as Seth could be, he also had a tacit intuition. He knew when to push a conversation and when to keep his mouth shut.
I didn’t know what to say. Talking about the whole keeping secrets thing was making me feel even more down and I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing.
“I wish I could go back,” I muttered dismally. “And change things.”
“You can’t,” he said, a slightly sharp edge to the words.
“I know,” I glumly agreed.
“All we can do is accept our decisions and move forward.”
I pursed my lips and looked at him. The light sparkle had left his eyes. Instead, there was a steeliness there. Complaining was useless. He was right.
All I could do — all anyone could do — was push forward and deal.
***
That whole day and the next felt torturous. Cristiano was busy with work, and I tried not to become too eager to see him, but I couldn’t help it.
I did my best to take Seth’s words to heart and promise myself to just share what I could of myself with Cristiano.
But the familiar nagging feeling wouldn’t go away. What if Cristiano and I became a serious thing? What if we dated for years, or ended up getting married? For just how long would I keep the details of my life from him?
Don’t think about it, I told myself as I dropped my lipstick and phone in my red velvet clutch.
The buzzer rang, and I hurried downstairs. A black sports car waited in the street for me. Cristiano stood next to it, looking absolutely delicious in a dark blue ensemble. My heart skipped at the sight of him.
He met me at the passenger’s side. As he opened the door, he pressed one hand against my back. I went in for a kiss. The peck quickly turned into a full out embrace. For a moment, we were lost in each other, kissing in the middle of the road, oblivious to the traffic having to dodge Cristiano’s car.
A honk pulled me out of the reverie. I dropped down into my seat and let Cristiano close the door behind me.
He climbed into his own seat and peered at me, his eyebrows pushing together. I realized that he was looking at something past me and turned to gaze out my window.
“What?” I asked, staring at the front of my apartment building.
“Nothing... your place doesn’t have a doorman?”
“No,” I laughed. “It doesn’t.”
“Does your apartment have an alarm system?”
I looked at him curiously. “Uh... no.”
“Hm.”
He straightened up and hit the gas. We soared into traffic, headed to our dinner reservation at a French restaurant downtown.
“Why are you asking?”
“The building doesn’t seem... very safe.”
I laughed again. “The door has enough locks, and there’s a fire escape. Granted, I’ve never used it, but it doesn’t appear to be rusted or anything.”
He didn’t so much as smile.
“It’s fine,” I promised him.
He glanced at me. “It doesn’t look fine. I can get a security system installed in your place.”
“What?” I sharply asked, feeling myself bristle.
We’d only been dating for a few days. Though I was falling hard and heavy for Cristiano, the idea of him offering to put in a security system in my apartment seemed... weird, to say the least.
“You don’t need to do that,” I quickly continued before he could say anything else.
“Blaire, I know you’re probably tougher and more street smart than most people, but there’s nothing wrong with taking extra precautions.”
I stared at him. Was he this protective with everyone he knew or was it just me?
I tried not to be annoyed over the whole issue. Clearly, Cristiano’s own home was one of the safest in the whole city. I also didn’t know the details of his childhood in foster care. For all I knew, something questionable or even traumatic could have happened to him in one of those homes — something that led to him being extra careful when it came to safety as an adult.
A softer feeling filled me. Just like Cristiano didn’t know the whole story of my life, I didn’t know the whole story of his. We all keep our secrets. That’s what Seth would say.
The best thing I could do was just be accepting.
I reached over and rested my hand on the back of Cristiano’s neck. “Thank you,” I told him. “I think the apartment is okay, but if that’s really something you want to do...”
“It is,” he finished.
We can talk about it. I had planned on saying. As in, talk about it, but never do it. Installing alarms was something a husband did. Or a boyfriend. Cristiano wasn’t either one of those. Not yet.
But it was incredibly sweet that he wanted to protect me. The more I thought about it, the more flattered I became.
I rubbed my hand around the back of his neck. His muscles loosened underneath my fingers. Apparently, he was satisfied with the conclusion of the conversation.
Cristiano glanced at me, his eyes smoldering. His gaze flicked down at the floral dress I wore.
“You look amazing,” he practically growled.
I tried not to smile too wide. “You do too.”
He turned back to the traffic but kept glancing at me every few seconds. I kept my hand right where it was, resting above his shirt’s collar.
“You seem distracted,” I mused.
“How could I not be?” His gaze ran up and down my body again, dragging a pleasurable chill across my skin.
“You don’t sound particularly interested in dinner.”
His hand gripped my thigh, half of it on the fabric of my dress and half of it on my bare leg. “I would be happy with just eating you.”
All my muscles jumped. Yes! my body shouted.
“But,” he slowly continued. “I promised you a nice dinner.”
“Boo.”
He gave me a chastising look. “What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t follow through?
“I don’t know...” I paused and swallowed hard to gain the courage needed to go forward with what I wanted to say. I didn’t have a whole lot of experience with talking dirty, but it was starting to seem like a constant in mine and Cristiano’s relationship, and I was feeling anything but hateful of it. “The kind that screws me in a car, maybe?”
His hand tightened on my thigh, the nails digging into my skin. I waited to see if he would answer my almost rhetorical question. Half a block later, he took a sharp right, going down into a parking garage.
I looked at Cristiano with wide eyes. Was this the parking for the restaurant, or was he really about to take me up on my suggestion?
He took the winding path down, bringing the car to the very bottom and furthest corner of the deck. Only a few other vehicles populated the area, and Cristiano parked several spots away from the last one.
“So let’s do it,” he said simply, removing his hand from my thigh and looking at me with an expectant look.
I hesitated. Was he calling my bluff? Waiting for me to make the next move?
The spot between my legs pulsed with heat. No way was I retracting my suggestion. No way was I sitting through an entire one or two-hour dinner with my body begging for something other than food.
I reached over and ran my hand across Cristiano’s groin. He lowered his chin slightly, his golden eyes focused on my face. Unbuckling my seatbelt, I got to work unzipping his pants.
His dick broke free, hard and eager. I licked my lips, barely able to hold myself together. Two days since getting to touch him had been far too long. Bending down, I took as much of his length as I could manage into my mouth. Its sides pressed against my tongue and teeth, teasing me with the promise of filling other parts of my body.
I slowly moved my head up and down, working my tongue against the slick length. One of Cristiano’s hands rubbed the back of my neck, softly caressing there while the other hand went down my back. My dress slid up, exposing my ass. My thighs clenched, hoping they would be next to get some attention.
A hard blow hit my ass, making me whimper. The sharp pain shot through my rear, turning into pleasure as it traveled. Cristiano spanked me again, and I opened my mouth wider, taking more of him into my throat.
Over and over he smacked me. Each time his palm collided with my raw hide, I sucked harder on him. Soon, it was impossible to tell who was encouraging who.
I felt him get even stiffer, felt him get close to release. Grabbing my shoulders, he pulled me off of him and back into a sitting position.
“Ride me,” he commanded.
Not needing to be told twice, I pulled my panties off and dropped them on the floor as he rolled a condom down his length. Navigating to get right on top of him was tricky, but once there, he grabbed my hips and eased me down and onto him.
We both groaned as he pierced me. I settled all the way onto him, every inch of his length buried deep inside me. His hands worked their way up through the bottom of my dress to the lace bra I wore. My nipples stung as he pinched them and I cried out. A sly smile shot across Cristiano’s face, and he twisted both my nipples the slightest bit. I pushed my hips forward, riding him with fierce vigor.
Our heavy breaths filled the tiny car, and my head rubbed against the roof as I bounced up and down on him. Cristiano twisted my nipples harder. I cried out, the harsh touch bringing a pain so sweet it was hardly bearable.
Cristiano groaned and grabbed hold of my hips, sealing me to him as he pumped up and into me. I shook, his name escaping my lips, over and over. We came at the same time, the orgasms rippling through both of us as if one.
I collapsed backwards against the steering wheel. A honk from the horn made me jump.
Cristiano chuckled. “That good, huh?”
“Better,” I gasped and our mouths collided together once more.