The chirping alarm on my phone forced me to snatch it up and mute it. I didn’t want to wake her, especially since neither of us got much sleep last night between all the making out and talking… okay, there was much more making out than talking.
With one eye opened, I flipped to my other side to see nothing but an empty bed. My eyes cut to my bathroom, which was dark and unoccupied. Not bothering to put on pants, I jumped out of bed in my boxer briefs in search of her. I found her in the guest room fast asleep.
Her mess of curls fanned out in all directions. She still wore my T-Shirt, and I wondered if I lifted the comforter would I see it bunched up around her waist exposing her ass. A mixture of annoyance that she left my bed, and lust that she was lying a few feet away practically naked, combined to create a vortex of desire.
We hadn’t done much until then besides getting each other off. The need to take her at that moment became overwhelming. I should have left her to sleep, but proved I was indeed the selfish asshole I admitted to being when I slipped in beside her.
She stirred and turned toward me. I was careful not to touch her, and continued to watch her sleep from my side of the bed. As if she felt my presence, her eyes flittered opened before she blinked a few times to focus on my face. Propped up on my bent arm, my glare left no doubt I was pissed off.
“Hi,” she said with a blush that failed to hide her embarrassment. “You found me.”
“Yeah, I found you. Why are you in here?”
She shrugged while stretching her arms above her head. “I don’t know. To avoid the morning after awkwardness, I guess.”
“Is this how it’s going to be, Haven? You predicting the way things are going to be and acting before they happen?”
“No.” At my scowl, she amended, “Yes.”
“Can you not do that? You’re sabotaging us before we even begin.” The fact she didn’t respond meant I was right. I reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Look, on the scope of relationships we have a fuck-ton going for us. We’re already past the comfortable best friend part. We are way beyond the newness that comes from a new relationship. What we need to work on is the sexuality part. If we don’t let that get awkward, and enjoy it as it’s happening, then we’re way ahead of the game.” She quirked her lips to the side before she stuck her tongue out at me. “Put that away, or I’ll make you put it to good use.”
“God, I hate when you’re right.”
“Which is often.” I gathered her in my arms and lied back taking her with me. “I like you being here.”
“I like being here, but we need to talk about that. Yesterday I realized that I’m not comfortable being in my apartment anymore. It’s tainted now, no longer my home. I agree I need to move, but not here. Temporarily, I’ll stay a few days until I can find something else. I don’t think it’s a good idea to start our relationship by living together.”
“Why the hell not?”
“It’s too soon, Vaughn.”
I contemplated her words. “Would you feel better if you stayed in here, and not in my room?”
“Maybe.” I traced circles on her arm with my fingertips, waiting for her to gather her thoughts. I knew she had so much mottling her head because of the tiny line that formed between her eyebrows. Just as I smoothed my thumb over it she said, “A few weeks ago I’d have no reservations staying here with you. Things are different now, and most people don’t live together before they’ve even had sex.”
“We could settle that right now and have sex,” I quipped, dragging my thumb over her eyebrow and down her cheek.
She shoved me playfully. “Be serious.”
“I was.” I kissed her while smiling. “Haven, we’re not most people. You need to forget all you think you know about being in a committed relationship. None of this is textbook, but that’s fine. One thing I preach in my therapy is there are no rules when it comes to relationships. What works for some won’t work for others. If you and I are okay with it, then that’s the way it will be. If not, then we talk about ways to fix it.”
As I waited for her to digest what I said, I pulled her closer to kiss the top of her head. “Truth is, if you and I hadn’t turned this corner, there would be no argument from you regarding my wanting you here, right?”
She nodded against my bare chest. “So, that’s what this is. You’re simply making your best friend happy and nothing more… for today at least. We’re taking one day at a time. Okay?”
“Okay.”
I needed to steer this ship, because I didn’t trust her to trust in us quite yet. It was one thing to be scared, and I was as well. What I wouldn’t allow was her insecurities to mess with her head and ruin what could be a good thing.
When she leaned up and kissed me, I took it as a good sign. When she twisted free and jumped off the bed, my optimism diminished.
“Where are you going?”
“I have an early class on Mondays. I need to get ready.”
“Did I know that?”
“No. I only tell you what you need to know.” She dug in her overnight bag that sat on a chair pulling out a pair of jeans and her silly Hello Kitty T-Shirt.
“You don’t tell me everything? I’m hurt.”
“Do you tell me everything?”
“Yes.” She folded her arms in a challenge. “Okay, no. But I will. Here, I’ll start. Did you know that I masturbated to a fantasy of you on two separate occasions since our first kiss?”
Her forehead puckered for a split second before smoothing out. “You did?”
“Yes. You have to admit that was a heavy confession. So, now will you tell me everything?”
She raised two fingers in a Girl Scout salute and said, “I promise I’ll tell you everything you need to know from now on.”
“That’s one of Haven Castell’s famous loopholes.” On her nonchalant shrug I bolted out of bed toward her. Predictably, she scooted down the hallway and into the bathroom before I could grab her. “You have to come out sometime,” I said into the wood door that separated us.
A carefree giggle was all I got as a response… and fuck if it didn’t make me want to break down the door and fuck her against the tiled wall, bringing one of my fantasies to life.
While Haven attended her class, I arranged for her locks to be changed before running to the Apple Store to pick up a new laptop. I left it on my kitchen island with her new set of keys to her place and a note that simply said—Don’t be mad. Vaughn x.
Once I got to my office I called my cousin, Lizzy, to thank her for helping Haven yesterday.
“Hey, you. How’s Haven?”
“She’s okay. I finally convinced her that place isn’t safe. She’ll be here with me.”
“Good. I agree with that.”
We hadn’t had a chance to discuss if we were keeping things a secret for now. Curiosity caused me to ask Lizzy, “Did she mention anything about us to you?”
Silence filtered over the phone confirming Lizzy knew some of what was going on. “Since you already know this part, I’ll admit I now know she’s been in love with you for years. The rest I’ll keep to myself. But in my professional opinion, I feel she’s just as confused as you are.”
“I know she is. I’m trying to alleviate that for her. It’s hard when I’m no better, though.”
“Vaughn, you need to steer this ship.”
“We are so alike,” I said with a chuckle at the exact analogy I had used in my mind earlier this morning. “I know I do. I just worry I’m not the right man for her. What if she is better off with someone else? Am I’m being selfish wanting to try?”
“Of course not. You care for her. Hell, I’ll even say it out loud… you love her.”
“I do, Lizzy. That’s never been an issue. I just don’t know if the love I feel is different than the kind she feels.”
“Can you imagine your life without her?”
An immediate, “No,” flew out of my mouth. It was the same question I asked couples frequently during their course of therapy. That one question could speak volumes, and reveal so much.
“Vaughn, do you want her to be happy?”
“Yes.”
“Are you attracted to her?”
“Very much so. I wasn’t always, though. I never really saw her that way.”
“So what? You are now, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Then you are feeling the same love.”
“It’s really not that simple.”
It was her turn to chuckle over the phone. “Vaughn, you and I both know it can be that simple. Haven is scared, so are you. She worries she’ll lose you, and you worry about the same. You both have the same invested goals going in. You’ll have to work at it, as do most couples that are in love. The reward outweighs the negative and open communication and patience will get you where you want it to go.”
She was right. “Thanks, Lizzy.”
“My pleasure. I believe in you two. I told her the same. I’m here if you need me,” she said before ending the call.
Having a few minutes before needing to get to the studio, I dialed Haven’s number.
“Vaughn,” she scolded.
I knew she’d be angry. “It’s a business expense. You work for me. If your office was broken into and your desktop was stolen, I’d be replacing that.”
“Not with the top-of-the-line MacBook Pro!”
“I miss you,” I deflected. Her sigh meant it worked. “I can’t wait to see you later.”
“Me, too. Have a good show, I’ll be listening.”
“Thanks, babe.”
It was clear the swagger in my stride as I made my way to the studio had everything to do with Haven. It’d been a very long time since I felt… what was it I was feeling? Happiness, of course, but it was more than that.
Optimistic?
Elated?
Content?
Yes, to all of the above.
“What the hell happened to you Saturday night?” Daryl asked the moment he barged into the studio minutes before show time.
“Haven’s apartment was broken into. She was pretty shaken up.”
“Oh, fuck. Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. They trashed the place. We had the locks changed, but she’s staying with me a few days.”
Natalie took her seat beside me with a sad smile. “I spoke to her yesterday, poor thing. She called me to ask if I wouldn’t mind forwarding your Galaxy calendar to her email since she didn’t have her laptop any longer. Those bastards took everything she loved. Thank goodness she wasn’t there.”
The thought caused a renewed chill to travel down my spine. I refused to allow myself to think of what could have happened if she had been home.
We moved through the rest of our show prep in silence. Minutes later, the On Air sign blinked on and I recited, “Good evening, America. I’m Dr. Vaughn Lair. Welcome to The Love Lair. Let’s talk sex. Tonight’s topic, the importance of communicating your needs to your lover.”
The very first caller who popped up on the call screen was Apple. I hadn’t heard from her since I came right out and asked if her motives for calling the show had nothing to do with soliciting advice, and all to do with meeting me. After her denial that it was the latter, the conversation took an awkward turn and that was the last we spoke.
Natalie met my eyes, raising her brows while mouthing, “Yes?”
I nodded, once again curiosity causing me to connect the call. “Hello, Apple.”
“Hey, Vaughn,” she drawled in her southern accent. “Thanks for taking my call.”
“Thanks for calling.” She never responded to my text thanking her for the apples, but I wasn’t about to bring it up now. Instead, I asked, “Are you interested in discussing tonight’s topic, or do you have a specific problem you’d like to talk about?”
“I’m calling to answer your last question. You had asked me, off the air, if I truly had a problem I wanted to discuss or did I just want to get to know you.”
“I remember.”
“Well, my problem is you.”
“Why am I your problem?”
“You’re still all I think about. I met you once before you started your show with Galaxy. And although I wanted to keep myself anonymous, I’m now second-guessing if that was right decision.”
She had to be Abby.
Even though we were nowhere near the time for a commercial, dead air forced Natalie to say, “Hold that thought, Apple. We need to break in with a word from our sponsor. Sit tight listeners, we’ll be back in a few.” Natalie flipped off the On Air sign and said to me, “She wants you.”