My apartment was dark except for the light coming from the television. Haven looked up when she saw me come in. “Hey,” she said with a smile.
“I didn’t think you’d be up.” I threw my keys on the foyer table and removed my coat.
“I’m not tired.” Her words said one thing, but her expression read another. Something was off, and my guess was she heard the show.
After Natalie cut in for a commercial, the second part of my conversation with Apple was off the air. I immediately mentioned the gift basket, thanked her, and then asked how she knew where I lived. She claimed it wasn’t hard to find out by digging a bit on the Internet.
Needing to draw a definite line in the sand, I then informed her I’d be glad to help in any professional way she needed, but regarding a personal relationship I was seeing someone and thought it best she didn’t contact me any further. She agreed, claiming she was upset that she lost her shot and to let her know if things didn’t work out.
Then the rest of the show felt robotic and forced. Of course, among my crew I was the one who felt that way. I guessed time would tell once the weekly ratings came through. Funny thing, I didn’t care either way.
On the cab ride home I was hit by a realization that something had changed within me regarding my career. At the end of my contract, if Galaxy wasn’t interested in renewing my show, my gut said I’d be fine with that.
I should’ve dissected why I felt that way, why a huge professional goal was suddenly no longer my priority. The one thing I came up with was it had to be because of my newfound contentment. Had I used my own show to channel issues I didn’t even know I had?
Maybe.
I walked over to where Haven sat on the couch. “Hi,” I said before bending to kiss her. When she smiled wide against my lips, I asked, “What’s so funny?”
“I like this greeting.”
I plopped down beside her, exhausted from my day. “I’m just kissing my girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend, huh?”
“Even though you laughed at me when I asked, and claimed the use of the term dating was boring, I still consider us dating. Is that okay with you?” With amusement written all over her face, she nodded with a smile. “What did you do tonight?”
She pointed to her new laptop. “Recreating your calendar, my task lists, and everything else I lost. Thank God, I backed up my course assignments to The Cloud, or I’d be a very unhappy camper right now.” Reaching over, she ran her fingers through my hair. The unexpected affectionate gesture caused my cock to twitch.
“Mmm, that feels good,” I said, closing my eyes and enjoying her touch.
“You look tired.”
“I’m exhausted.”
“Tough show.” It was more of a statement than a question.
“You heard?”
“Yeah.”
“It sort of went off the rails. That dude who needed advice on how to tell his wife he wanted a threesome with another man redeemed the show.”
“Yeah, that was super hot.”
I gawked at her. “Don’t get any ideas.”
“Damn it,” she said with a smirk. “I’m joking,” she added when my mouth hung open. She continued massaging my scalp, and if she kept it up I’d be asleep soon.
“Vaughn?”
“Hmm,” I mumbled with my eyes closed.
“Do you want to meet her?” I twisted my neck to look at her face. “That Apple person. You can be honest.”
“A few weeks ago I did, that changed now because of you.”
“But if you don’t, won’t you always wonder what if?”
“There is no what if. I don’t know her. She’s a stranger who, the more I get to know, the more I think she’s a bit unstable.” I could tell by the look on her face Haven’s insecurities were rearing their ugly heads. “Hey,” I said, pulling her onto my lap. Remembering my conversation with Lizzy, I held her face and stared into her eyes. “There is one thing you never need to doubt. I want to be with you.”
“You do?”
“Without a doubt.”
My fingers tightened on her hip when she leaned in and kissed me deeply.
As always, our kiss went from sweet to smoldering within seconds. Without breaking the kiss, I stood with her in my arms and carried her straight to my bedroom.
Placing her on my bed, I kicked off my shoes before covering her body with mine. Her legs fell open causing us to perfectly align. I slipped my hands under her T-shirt and up her back. The feeling of her warm skin under my touch made me want to taste her everywhere.
I needed her more than I needed my next breath. Taking her would break my promise to go slow, but the way she responded to my kisses made taking it slow the hardest thing I’d ever faced in my life.
As if reading my mind, she pulled away from my lips and said, “I don’t want to stop, Vaughn.”
“Haven, you’re not making this easy on me.”
“I want to keep going.” Her eyes shimmered in the dimly lit room before a single tear rolled down her cheek.
“Hey, why are you crying?” I asked, just as my thumb caught a second one. “Haven, talk to me.”
“I need to know this is real between us.”
“It is real.”
“Then show me.” I couldn’t deny her. Yet, I couldn’t move. I just continued to stare into her eyes with a battle raging within me. She sensed my hesitancy, and went on to say, “I need you to make me feel you, all of you. I want nothing between us. I’m on the pill, and you know I haven’t had sex in a long time. I trust you. Please?”
The soft fabric of my T-shirt bunched between her fingers as they tightened in a desperate grip.
I reasoned it was never a matter of if we would have sex, as opposed to when. But I couldn’t help the uncertainty building with each moment that ticked by. And I knew, the more I’d let time pass, the more she’d think the worst. That was what forced me to say, “I want all of you, too… every part of you. Are you sure you want this now? We can take it slow, take our time, I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m sure. I need this.” She searched for validation, and I couldn’t blame her. There was no use arguing, she’d get the wrong idea. Even if my words were as clear as glass, if I refused her now she’d assume I had second thoughts.
“I need this, too. More than you’ll ever know, Haven. But before we do this, I need you to understand something. I may not have had such hopes or desires as long as you have been carrying them. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel them now as intensely as you do.”
She blinked as if processing my words. “Thank you for telling me that.”
“Were you just doubting me?” She looked away for a split second before a slow nod confirmed my question. “I know you were. I can read you like a book, Haven. We know each other better than we know ourselves. And the rest, we’re learning as we go along. I’m sure you already knew this, but I’ll say it out loud just to be sure. I’ll never lie to you, okay?”
On her second nod, I kissed her softly. I could feel her fingertips tighten once again, but it was the way her body pushed against mine that urged me to slide my hands up her back while taking her T-shirt with them. She raised her arms, replacing them on my chest once I threw it to the ground. The swell of her breasts begged to be kissed. As my hands followed the edge of her bra around her sides, I continued to kiss her warm skin while unhooking and dragging it off her arms. That soon followed to where her T-shirt landed.
A mess of chestnut curls framed her face. Her chocolate brown eyes focused on mine. She was so beautiful. How had I not realized that before? I always knew she was, I wasn’t dead. But thinking back, I tried to remember if there was ever a time I wanted her. It still confounded me that one kiss could flip a switch within me as it had. One kiss changed everything between us… everything.
I couldn’t resist admiring her, the curve of her lips, the smooth skin of her neck. With her breasts now bare, I dipped my head to lave at each nipple. The feel of first one and then the other in my mouth sent my lower half pulsing with need. There wasn’t much more I could take. I held one breast while continuing to suck and nip on her. My other hand traveled down her body and found the waistband of her jeans before popping the button.
A tiny moan escaped just as I lowered her zipper. Forcing myself to pull away, I pulled off her jeans and panties in one fell swoop, tossing them to the ground to join her other things. Next were my jeans and boxer briefs, and the way her eyes raked over every inch of me caused my already hard cock to throb.
This was the first time we were completely naked, the reality of the situation hitting us at the same time. An adorable blush tinged her cheeks the perfect shade of pink as her eyes continued to take me in.
Our eyes locked when I knelt at the end of the bed. Wordlessly, I gripped each of her ankles and pushed them up until her knees bent and her legs spread. The moment I bent to take her into my mouth, she bucked from the impact. Wanting to savor her, I moved my tongue over her in slow, long drags.
In spite of her moans, she rasped out, “Vaughn, later. I want you first.”
The tiny taste I just took wasn’t enough. I needed more, but understood what she demanded from me. I nodded at her request and settled myself between her spread legs with my cock at her entrance. A small smile played on her lips, and it caused my heart to swell with emotion.
Cradling her back with one arm, I linked my other hand with hers. Going in bare had never been something I’d done, and the anticipation of what I was about to feel overwhelmed me before it even occurred.
I drilled her brown eyes with an intense stare, and her inner muscles clamped around me as I slide into her in slow motion. When I was buried balls deep in her, I paused waiting for us both to savor our connection. I had no way to prepare for the barrage of feelings, both physically and emotionally that took over my body and mind. Based on the glassiness that again appeared in her eyes, I assumed she experienced the exact same emotions.
“You feel amazing.” I voiced out loud what I was thinking.
Her fingers tightened around mine. “Kiss me, Vaughn.”
I took her mouth in a heated kiss, and while our tongues tangled, I began to piston my hips in measured movements.
So many thoughts raced through my mind, with the most prominent being it just felt right. Being there, my body connected to hers in the most intimate of ways, felt like the most natural occurrence in the world.
Even though this was our first time, I could tell she was very close. I knew in the way she pulled away from my kiss to stare into my eyes, in the way her brow furrowed in concentration, and most importantly in the way she whispered my name.
The sound of it, combined with her vibrating around me, propelled my body to move faster, thrust harder, until I came inside her in an all-consuming release.
I just made love to my best friend, and the first thing that came to my mind was how much I wanted to do it again.