Damon
We collapse on the bed as soon as we arrive at the house where it all began, and Alice curls up against me.
“I never saw the inside of this room the last time we were here,” she murmurs, mid-yawn.
“I wanted you in here from the moment I saw you in the hospital. I wasn’t expecting you at all, and then when you were here, you seemed to be wherever the guys were and not me. If you weren’t going off with Riv, you were standing half naked with Freddie.”
She’s too tired to laugh but I feel her chest rapidly move up and down against me.
“Seriously, we were just talking and that morning with Freddie was bad timing.”
“I know, what I’m trying to say is, I’ve wanted you for a long time and now we’re for keeps.”
She presses her lips to my chest, too tired to lean up and find my mouth.
“You always know the right things to say.”
With nothing left to be said, we fall asleep in each other arms.
I’m alone when I wake. The room is in darkness and when I see the time is after midnight, I shoot out of bed. I’ve been asleep for over thirteen hours.
After a quick shower, I slip into my jeans and plod downstairs. I hear River before I see anyone and find them out the back. Alice is tucked up under a blanket on a lounger and River is poking the dying flames in the fire pit.
“Hey, look who’s awake,” he booms and walks over to me.
I haven’t seen the guys in three months, only via video calls, and he throws his arms around me.
“It’s good to have you home, man,” he cheers and releases me.
I join Alice and slip behind her on the lounger.
“Where’s Freddie and Baz?” I ask him.
“Fred’s asleep upstairs and Baz is…somewhere,” he drifts off.
“Where is somewhere?”
He flicks his eyes at Alice and I know he’s hiding something from me. Sighing, he sits himself down on the lounger one over from ours and clasps his hands together.
“We don’t know, he shows his face a couple of times a week and disappears again,” he tells me.
“Why?”
“He hasn’t been the same since…we came back from the funeral.”
Alice tenses in my lap and I slide my hand around her waist. I’ve spoken to Baz as much as the others over the last six months and I haven’t noticed any difference in him.
“Why didn’t any of you say anything?”
“We’ve been looking out for him, we didn’t want to ruin your time away, you both deserved a break from everything.”
“You should’ve said, I would’ve come back.”
“And that’s why we didn’t. Plus, he didn’t want us telling you.”
This hurts. I’ve known Baz since we were in Kindergarten and he hasn’t kept anything from me before.
“When was he last here?” Alice asks.
“Three nights ago.”
“And you don’t know where he is now?” I ask next.
He shakes his head.
“We’ll go out in the morning if he doesn’t return tonight, I have an announcement to make and I want all my family here. Actually, we’re going to find him now.”
River is relieved more than anything and I want to get to the bottom of Baz’s disappearances.
“I’ll meet you in the car.”
He leaves us alone and I notice Alice isn’t wearing her engagement ring. Lifting her left hand, I rub my thumb over her fourth finger, it feels wrong.
“Why aren’t you wearing your ring?”
“I thought you’d want to tell everyone, and I woke up a while ago and didn’t want to explain it on my own.”
She pulls it out of her shorts pocket and slips it back on.
“I kept it close,” she says.
“Don’t take it off.”
I’m surprised how much it was a punch to my gut not seeing her wearing it.
“What are you going to do about Baz?”
“I don’t know, but we’ve been gone for six months and he’s been here, and fuck knows what he’s been up to. You should try and get some more sleep, I’ll wake you when I get back.”
“Okay.”
I walk with her back up to our room and while she snuggles down under the sheets, I get dressed and throw on my hoodie and tie my hair back. Grabbing my sunglasses and a baseball cap, I lean across the bed and wish I was joining her. Instead, I place a soft kiss on her warm lips and tear myself away from her before I decide to hunt down Baz in the morning.
“I’ll see you soon.”
I make it halfway across the room before she says, “I hope he’s okay.”
“So do I.”
I really fucking do.
“Why hasn’t Harry been tailing him?” I ask River when I join him in the car.
I don’t recognise the driver, or the minder already seated up front.
“Ah, so there’s something else I have to tell you about.”
“Spit it out, man.”
“Baz fired everyone.”
“What the fuck? Why?”
My eyebrows pull together in a mixture of anger and confusion. I haven’t been gone that long.
“In the beginning we couldn’t work it out, he would just fire anyone as he wished, there wasn’t a reason for any of them. It wasn’t until he fired Harry that it all came out he didn’t want anyone around who reminded him of Joel.”
I lean my head against the head rest and close my eyes.
“He’s gonna have to get used to it, because Harry is coming back, and Alice is here to stay. I asked her to marry me when we were in Paris and she said yes.”
I open my eyes to River bugging out, he gets over the shock pretty quickly and hollers his approval.
“Congrats, man. I knew she was different for you…Oh, you know what this means?” he smirks slyly.
“I’m going to be a husband?”
“Well, that’s a given, dickhead,” he chuckles, “I’m talking about your bachelor party. It’s going to be fucking epic,” he vows.
I’m about to destroy his hopes of a bachelor party when the new minder turns in his seat.
“Baz is at Club Bounce.”
“Take us to him,” I order knowing we’re not far.
I pray hard Harry wants to come back with immediate effect. I trusted him, and he was my friend.
“You should be ready for anything, he isn’t the same Baz you last saw.”
“How much has happened since I left, and tell me the fucking truth.”
“You’ll see for yourself in a minute.”
The car comes to a stop outside the club, and I throw open the door. We’ve all been here a thousand times over the last few years and the door men allow us entry without a problem.
The new minder sticks close to us as we make our way up to the VIP section and no one notices Riv or I until we stop at the top of the stairs. I don’t bother with anyone, I scan the area and stop when I see Baz lounging back on a couch with a chick on either arm.
Nudging River, I jerk my head in Baz’s direction and I push through the people until I’m standing at his table.
He’s in his own world of booze and women, he doesn’t see us until one of the chicks jumps up shrieking at our presence.
His eyes lazily roll around and fall on me. His pain is deep and shines from him, but he shoots up to his feet and hides it with his joy to see me here.
“You’re back,” he cheers, throwing himself at me.
“I sure am.”
I hug him back and then push him back onto the couch.
“Get out of here,” River orders the chicks and then we’re alone.
The only one missing is Freddie.
“Are you here to stay, or are you planning another trip?” he asks, filling shot glasses for River and me.
“I’m here to stay,” I say, pushing my drink away.
“What’s your problem? Have a drink with me,” he urges, pushing the shot back towards me.
“I’m not here to drink, I’m here to take you home.”
“Why? I’m having a fucking ball here.”
“We need to talk and I’m not doing it in a fucking club.”
He rolls his eyes at me and shoots my shot back in one, and then Rivers.
“I ain’t listening to your travelling stories, or watching a slideshow.”
“You don’t have to,” I sigh.
I stand and pull him up with me, he’s unsteady on his feet and together, River and I help carry him out of the club.
In the car, he falls asleep and the stench of alcohol on him is strong.
“Why didn’t you tell him about Alice?” River asks, keeping his voice low.
“From what you’ve said, and it hasn’t been a lot, I didn’t want to put that on him in public. Once we’re home, we’ll get this shit sorted out.”
If he had come to me, I would’ve helped him through whatever demons are plaguing him. If I’m honest, I didn’t think Joel’s death would have impacted him this much. I’ve been so dedicated to Alice and her grief, I forgot about my family.
The car comes to a stop and music is blaring from the house. When we left, Alice was going to sleep, and the house was quiet.
“Freddie must be awake,” River sighs.
And we all know where Fred is, the party isn’t far behind. As long as he hasn’t woken Alice up, then again, I’ll be shocked as shit if she’s sleeping through this.
“Come on, man, wake up,” River coaxes Baz, and he groans, coming around.
“Let’s go, sweetheart,” I laugh, helping him out of the car.
“Fuck off,” he grunts, “I’m fucking happy you’re back though.”
The short nap seems to have sobered him up, and he slings his arm around me. There are people everywhere when we walk inside, some I recognise, and a lot I’ve never met before.
“Now you’re here, we should totally throw you a welcome home party.”
“Look around, Baz. You’re in the middle of a party,” River laughs.
He seems fine to me, until everything stops. He freezes beside me when he sees Alice coming down the stairs, he watches her every step until she is beside me and I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her close to me.
“Why is she here?” Baz demands, his tone simmering with disgust.
“She’s here because…”
“Damo!”
I turn to Freddie standing in the doorway, holding a bottle of tequila in each hand.
“And look, little Alice is here too.”
“I’ll ask again, what is she doing here?” Baz growls.
“What is your problem?” I yell, losing my patience.
He glares at Alice and I find myself moving in front of her to shield her from his mood.
“You do remember the kid died, she doesn’t need to be here anymore, or are you keeping her around as some British pussy?”
I see red.
Lurching forward, I smash my fist into his jaw and he lands on his ass with a thud.
“Don’t you ever talk like that about her,” I shout, louder than I have in a long time.
We’re drawing a crowd and I catch a few of them holding their phones up to record us.
Grabbing Alice’s hand, I lead the way up to our room and slam the door behind us.
“I’m sorry he said that, you know it’s not true.”
“I know,” she murmurs, “What’s wrong with him?”
“I don’t know, stay here, I’m going to find out and I don’t want you caught in the crossfire.”
“Don’t hit him again, if something is wrong with him, he’ll need you.”
She is too kind for her own good, and fuck if I don’t love her even more for it.
Downstairs, the music is off, and everyone is gone. As fast as they appear, they can disappear just as fast.
Walking into the kitchen, Baz is holding a bag of ice to his jaw, River is leaning against the island, and Freddie, still swigging from the tequila bottle, is lying on the kitchen table.
“I don’t want her here.”
“Why?” I ask, staying in the doorway.
“She doesn’t belong here, she isn’t one of us.”
“She will be, as soon as she says, I do.”
He drops the ice bag and Freddie springs up like a jack-in-the-box.
“You’re marrying her?” Baz frowns.
“As soon as I can, yes. So, tell me, what’s your problem with Alice? And while we’re at it, why did you fire Harry?”
“You won’t understand.”
“Try me.”
I square my shoulders as he steps towards me. He doesn’t stop, not until we’re standing nose to nose and his breath stinks of alcohol.
“If you’re choosing her, then you’re not choosing me,” he sneers.
“It’s not about choosing,” I sigh, “You haven’t given me one good reason why you don’t want her here, I thought you liked her? What’s changed?”
“Everything.”
“Like what?” I urge.
He isn’t giving me anything.
“You brought that kid back, so you could play the hero and guess what, he died worshipping you. It still wasn’t enough for you though, was it? No, you had to fuck the sister and bring her home and fucking propose to her. Are you that insecure you need to be hailed every day?”
The vein in his forehead bulges as he screams in my face. When Baz is upset he throws his weight around and screams. Instead of getting into it with him, I throw my arms around him, and I don’t let go when he fights against me.
“Talk to me,” I say, in his ear.
“I can’t have her here,” he breaks, losing the fight to be rid of me.
“Why?”
He loosens up and clings to me.
“Because I can’t stand seeing him and she’ll just be a reminder on replay. It’s fucking me up.”
I pull away from him and I’m stunned when I see his cheeks are saturated.
“Him? Are you talking about Joel?”
“All I see is him in his chair with his head lolled to the side and his eyes wide open. Or I see him on the couch and the coroners coming for him. It doesn’t matter how much I drink, I can’t get him out of my head.”
River comes up behind him and pats him on the shoulder.
“You should’ve told us what’s been going on.”
“I thought when Damon got back, everything would go back to normal. When he sends Alice home, it will do.”
I reach out, but he moves before I can make contact.
“She is home, with me, with us. I’ll help you through this, but I won’t let her go. I love her.”
“I loved our lives before you brought death through our doors, and now you’re telling me she’s here to stay, so I’m done.”
“Hey, no one’s done…”
“I’m done,” Baz yells.
He brushes past me and River is quick to chase after him.
“You’re such a hypocrite,” Freddie snorts, stepping down from the table.
“You’re having a go now?”
“Nope, just stating facts. Who are you going to choose? The guy who’s had your back all your life, or the girl you’ve known for less than a year who walked out the front door five minutes ago?”
What?
Spinning around, the door is closed, and nothing is out of place. Rushing into the hall, I climb the stairs two at a time, and bounce into my room to find her cases are gone.
She’s gone.
Running back downstairs, I throw open the front door. She’s nowhere in sight and the car is gone.
Storming into Slate’s office, I search through his iPad for the driving company contact information.
I should’ve got his name last night. If Harry was still around, he would’ve come to me first before taking her anywhere.
Did she hear what Baz said? If she did, she would make the decision for me and take herself out of the equation, not that there is a choice to make for me.
I can’t find fuck all and chuck the iPad on the desk. I flip through the paperwork and freeze when I come across a contract for Joel’s song. Scanning each page, I crumple the papers in my hands and drown in the blood rushing around my veins.
What is Slate thinking of? Joel’s song was never meant to be a single, he wanted it on our next album surrounded by our music.
Slate is cashing in on the hype Joel created and I’m not standing for it.
“Baz doesn’t mean it, he’ll come around.”
“Riv, right now, I couldn’t give a shit. Did you know about this?”
I hold up the paperwork and he frowns, coming over to get a closer look. The overstated sigh as he cottons on to what he’s reading fuels my anger.
“This needs all our signatures, Damon. Nothing will happen if you don’t want it to.”
“Right now, I need the new driver’s number. I can’t find anything I need in here.”
He passes me his phone, and I ask, “What’s his name?”
“Rex.”
I scroll down to his name and hit call. Every ring drones on for what feels like forever and I’m ready to punch something by the time he picks up.
“Mr Thornton, what can I do for you?”
“It’s Damon, put Alice on the phone,” I grunt.
It goes quiet and I faintly hear him talking to her. It goes quiet again, and Rex comes back on the phone.
“I’m sorry, Mr Coleman, she doesn’t want to speak to you.”
I don’t give myself any time to let her rejection hurt and push forward.
“Put me on speaker,” I instruct him.
“You’re on, Mr Coleman,” he says, a few seconds later.
“Alice?”
She doesn’t answer me, I flex my hand into a fist and out again.
“Please, talk to me, tell me why you left? Where are you?”
Nothing.
It hurts worse than anything she could say. We’ve been through so much, there is no way it can end like this.
“Rex, turn around and bring her back.”
“Mr…”
“Bring her back, or you’re fucking fired.”
I hang up and lean on the desk.
“What’s happening to us, Riv?”
“We were hit with a dose of reality and we’re each handling it differently. Go and talk to Baz while you wait for Alice.”
The man himself strolls into the room and plonks himself down in Slate’s chair.
“Fred said Alice left.”
“You must be happy?”
“I haven’t been happy in a long time.”
Pushing away from the desk, I move around to stand in front of him.
“If you’re not coping, it doesn’t matter if Alice is here or not, the last six months have proven that. I’ll help you through this, but please don’t give me ultimatums. I love you both.”
“I’m just tired, I can’t sleep, and everywhere I go, all everyone asks me about is Joel. Seeing Alice brought it all back like it only happened yesterday.”
I understand now.
“Alice is on her way back, if you talk to her, you’ll see how she copes, how she feels a tiny bit better each day.”
He looks up at me and nods.
“For what it’s worth, I think she’s good for you. Congratulations.”
“I agree, thank you,” I smile.
“Maybe we should all get away for a while, work on a new album with the material you’ve been working on,” River suggests.
“I’m down for that,” Baz nods.
“I’ll be down for that if Alice comes,” I say.
It’s been ten minutes since I told Rex to bring Alice back, I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t, apart from fire him.