This week has been bittersweet. True to his word, we haven’t left the house since we got home from Whit and Aaron’s. We’ve made love, talked, played cards and watched movies, just to name a few. We’ve not left each other’s sides for any length of time.
I was right in thinking that this was just going to make it harder. I fall more in love with him every single day. But I wouldn’t change it, wouldn’t change this time with him. It’s time I will cherish for the rest of my life.
“Ready, babe?” he asks.
“You know I’m the Monopoly champ, right?”
“So you say. I’ve yet to see these skills you speak of. I’m the champ around these parts, so you’re going to have to fight for it.”
“Bring it, country.”
An hour in and I’m losing—bad. He’s got all his property lined with hotels, and my cash flow is dwindling fast. “Why don’t we make this interesting?” I suggest.
“What do you have in mind?”
“How about every time I land on one of your properties, instead of paying you, I have to give you kisses?”
He smirks. “I have a better idea.”
“Do tell,” I say, rolling the dice.
He gathers all of his money and throws it on the board. “We call it a tie, and I make love to you. We both win.” He grins.
“You do drive a hard bargain, Mr. Wallace.”
He stands from the seat across from me and rounds the table. I scoot back in my chair, not sure what he’s going to do next. Bending down, he scoops me up bridal style and carries me to his room. He starts stripping out of his clothes, so I do as well. Mike climbs into bed and holds the cover open for me. I slide in next to him, only I don’t stop there, straddling his hips instead. Like the southern gentleman he is, he pulls the cover around me, around us; he knows I get chilly in this icebox he lives in.
He cups my cheek with one hand while the other rests on my hip. “I love you, James,” he says reverently.
“I love you too.” I slide my hand between our bodies and grip him. Raising my hips, I align him with my entrance.
“Condom, babe,” he softly reminds me.
I shake my head. “I’m clean. I’m on the pill and I want to feel you. All of you. I don’t want anything between us. I’ve never… I want it to be you.”
He places his hand over mine and together we guide him as I slowly lower myself onto his length. “Fuck, Jamie.”
“It’s so different,” I say, moving my hips, causing us both to moan.
His hand that still rests between us begins to rub against me. “I’m close, Jamie. I’m not going to last. I need you there,” he says, applying pressure with his thumb.
I grind against him, chasing my release. “Now,” I pant, and even through my orgasm, I feel him release inside of me. It’s the most erotic moment of my life. My hands are gripping his chest, my head is bowed and the tears are falling. It was beautiful and heartbreaking.
“Shower,” he says softly. I don’t know how he manages, but he slides off the bed, still inside of me, and carries me to the shower. He adjusts the water and steps in, me still in his arms. When he finally pulls out and lowers me to my feet, I can feel the mix of our release on my thighs. “I love you so fucking much. I love you.” He wraps me in his arms, burying his face in my neck.
“We should clean up.” Reaching for the soap, I pour some in my hands and rub them together before running them all over his body, not missing an inch. “I’m going to miss you so much,” I choke out.
“My turn.” He switches our positions and runs his soapy, callused hands over every inch of me.
We stay in the shower until the water runs cold. This time we don’t bother with clothes. After we dry off, we climb right back into bed and I snuggle into him. His arms are locked around me so tight I’m surprised I can breathe, but I love it, the feeling of love and security his hold brings me.
“I’m going to miss this, miss you,” I whisper.
“Baby,” he chokes out. “You have no idea.”
We don’t say anything else; no words are needed. There’s nothing left to say anyway. We’re both breaking our own hearts due to distance. It’s petty, but neither of us knows how to or is willing to sacrifice to keep it from happening.
It’s Friday night, the wedding rehearsal. It’s the first time we’ve left his house since I accepted the job. It feels good to be out, but I miss our little bubble. The day after tomorrow, I have to walk away from the only man I’ve ever really loved for a job. I have to do it, or I’ll always wonder what would’ve happened. We both understand that, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
The wedding is small with no wedding party. Although, that didn’t stop us from getting matching dresses. It’s just Whit and Aaron standing at the altar—well, with Lexi. Aaron promised her she could stand up with him. She’s having a hard time. Whit told me they hope by letting her be the only one who’s part of the big day with them, she’ll realize she’s gaining, not losing. She loves Whit, but she’s afraid she’s losing her Uncle Aaron. She’s the sweetest ever. McKinley and Evan should be proud of the little girl they’re raising.
The rehearsal went off without a hitch. I’m still not sure why we had to have one since there’s no wedding party, but in the end, it was good for Lexi to know what she’s going to do tomorrow.
Mike hasn’t left my side the entire night. The guys are over at the bar having a drink and he’s here with me, glued to my side, his hand on my knee. “Go say hi,” I whisper.
“No.”
“Mike, I’ll be right here.”
“And I’ll be right beside you. I have two fucking days, Jamie. I’m not leaving your side.”
Leaning into him, I place my lips next to his ear. “I love you, Michael.”
He turns in his seat and cups my face. His blue eyes are misty with tears. “I love you.” He kisses me softly.
That’s how we spend the rest of the night, his arm around my shoulders, holding me close. We laugh and talk with our friends, but not once does he let me go. The night ends early as the bride and groom have a big day tomorrow, so we say our goodbyes and head back to his place. He leads me to the bedroom and we don’t make love, just strip down to nothing and cuddle close. We hold each other, not willing to let go. Not willing to say what we’re both thinking.
Time is moving too fast. It’s too soon. We need more time. His love has changed me, and I’ll never be the same.
Eventually his breathing evens out and I allow myself to drift off to sleep.
Today’s the day. Whit and Aaron are getting married in just a few hours. I’m excited for my best friend and this new chapter in her life, but I’m sad for the one closing in mine.
Mike and I are both quiet this morning as we get ready. He woke me up with kisses to my bare shoulder. I rolled over to say good morning and the haunted look in his eyes almost broke me. We made love without saying a word, as none were needed. We’re both broken. We’re down to mere hours before I have to leave him. This time tomorrow I’ll be on the road, back to Chicago. Back to my life before Mike.
“Ready, beautiful?” he asks when I enter the living room.
“Yes.”
He stands to greet me and pulls me into a hug. “You’re gorgeous, Jamie.”
“You clean up pretty well yourself,” I try for humor, but neither of us is feeling it.
He guides me out the door to his truck. He drives us everywhere; my car is still parked in the garage where he put it the day after I arrived.
When we reach the farm, there are only a few cars, just like Whit wanted. Other than me and my parents, Aaron’s family, and the friends she’s made here are all she has.
Shit, I forgot my parents are going to be here today. I’ve been so wrapped up in Mike and the thought of leaving him that I didn’t call and tell them about the job. Guilt hits me hard.
“What’s wrong?” Mike asks.
He knows me so well. “I forgot that my parents are going to be here today.”
“O-kay?” he asks.
“They don’t know about the job. They know my plan was to come home tomorrow, but I’ve not talked to them to tell them about the job.”
He nods. “So we don’t tell them. We’ll be us today, and we won’t think about tomorrow or the fact that you’re going back to Chicago. Today we’re Mike and Jamie, madly in love and witnessing two of our closest friends commit their lives to each other. Stay there, I’ll help you out.” With that, he climbs out of the truck and walks to my side. I take deep, even breaths to fight back the tears.
He opens my door and holds out his hand. “Watch your step,” he says. Seeing my heels, he rethinks our situation and places his hands on my hips, lifting me from the seat and setting my feet on the ground with little effort.
I wrap my arms around him, holding him close. “I love you.” My voice is muffled against his chest, but I know he hears me.
“You are my heart, Jamie.” He kisses just below my ear and eases his hold on me.
We make our way to the backyard and I see my parents, taking a seat next to them. We say hello, Mike shaking Dad’s hand and kissing Mom on the cheek. There are less than fifty people who were invited, and it looks like most are here. Mike puts his arm around me and holds my hand that rests on his lap.
When the music starts, the crowd “awws” at Lex as she prances down the aisle throwing flowers. She’s grinning at the attention as she takes her spot up front, standing tall, swinging her empty flower basket back and forth.
The wedding march starts and Whit appears with Mike’s dad who’s walking her down the aisle. I can’t help but think about how our wedding would be if Mike and I were able to work this out and be together. I’ve never really thought much about my wedding but today, that’s what’s on my mind. Destination, I think, somewhere tropical.
Shaking out of my thoughts, I focus on my best friend who’s glowing, wearing a smile that lights up the already sunshine-filled day. She’s beautiful, and my heart is so full for her.
The ceremony is quick. Whit didn’t want anything elaborate, just wanted to marry Aaron. Today she got her wish. The reception is underway, the DJ is playing music and people are dancing. Mike and I are sitting at a table with my parents.
“So what have you kids been up to?” Mom asks.
“Spending a lot of time with Whit getting ready for the big day,” I answer.
“You know, your father and I were talking about that on the drive down. Things always seem to happen for a reason. I think it was meant for you to be here with her during this time.”
“Your mom’s right, you know. You girls always were inseparable. This is life’s way of working out.” He winks at me.
I wonder what they would say about life working out if I told them I was seriously thinking about throwing away the job of my dreams to stay here with the love of my life. How would they handle me living so far away?
“Dance with me?” Mike’s voice is soft and low.
I nod and stand from my seat, allowing him to lead me out onto the makeshift dance floor. We don’t say a word as he holds me in his arms, mine wrapped around his back as we sway to the music. This is the outcome of the choices we’ve made. Although, I worry if I’m making the right one.
When we make it back to the table, Mom and Dad announce that they’re heading home. They’re going to drive halfway and stop to see some friends of theirs, where they’ll spend the night before driving the rest of the way tomorrow. Mike and I walk them to their car and say our goodbyes.
When we make it back to the table, Whit and Aaron are getting ready to cut the cake. I sit with my back against Mike’s chest, his arms around me as I watch my best friend bask in the glow of her happiness. I want that. I want what she has, and I can’t help but think I’ve found it and I’m just too afraid to take a chance and hold onto it.
“Jamie!” Whit screeches when she sees me. I hold my arms open and she falls into them. “I did it.” She smiles. “Can you believe it? I’m married.” She wiggles her fingers in front of my face to prove her point.
Mike and I both laugh at her.
“Woman, we just got married. You’re not supposed to be running off from me already,” Aaron says, wrapping his arms around her from behind. She turns her head and he kisses her softly.
“So when are you leaving for the honeymoon?” I ask.
“We decided to head out tonight, so I won’t be here tomorrow when you go back home.”
“Well, I’m going to need another hug, then.” I step out of Mike’s arms and into hers. “I’m going to miss you so damn much. I’ve liked having you just a short drive away again.”
“Me too, Jamie. It’ll all work out,” she whispers.
I can only pray that she’s right.
“When do y’all come back?” Mike asks them.
“We’re just going to be gone a few days. We’re going to Gatlinburg, so we should be back on Friday.”
“Be safe.” I hug Whitney and then Aaron. “Take care of her.”
“You know I will.”
I turn to look at Mike. “I guess we should get going. I have to pack too.”
His face falls at my words and hot tears burn the back of my eyes. This is all too much. With another round of hugs and goodbyes, Mike and I head toward his parents and his sister to tell them we’re leaving.
“Jamie, will you be at Sunday dinner tomorrow?” his mom asks.
“No, I need to get on the road earlier than usual. I have to get ready for my new job and I have no food in the house, so there’s a lot to do before Monday.”
“We’ll miss you.” She pulls me into a hug and I can’t hold the tears back anymore. She gives me a sympathetic smile when she sees them.
“Baby.” Mike pulls me into his chest. “We’ll see you later,” he tells his family, then leads me to his truck.
The drive to his place is quiet. He holds my hand the entire way, and I’m gripping him so hard I know my nails are digging into his skin, but I can’t bring myself to loosen my grip.
He parks in the garage and comes around to lift me from the truck. Hand in hand, we silently walk into the house, kicking off our shoes at the door. He leads me back to his room, no words spoken as we strip each other of our clothing. He kisses me deeply and I feel wetness on my cheeks. Opening my eyes when he pulls back, I see his are wet as well. Mike climbs into bed and holds the covers back for me, just like he always does. I take my spot next to him and he pulls me into his arms, kissing me. We make love for hours, neither of us willing to lose a single second of this last night together.
“Baby, you have to rest. You have a long drive tomorrow,” he says.
“I know.”
“Rest, I’ve got you. I won’t let you go all night, I promise.”
I nod and let the tears fall. Eventually exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep.