CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
KELSEY
ANGER BURNED A HOLE INSIDE ME, hot and jagged. I gripped the steering wheel, struggling to see through the rain splashing on the windshield.
Goddamned Archer West. Why couldn’t he see what was so obvious? I pressed on the accelerator, the tires squealing as I hit the road. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t want to go home because Archer would find me there.
I drove through the residential neighborhood leading toward the university. Puddles of yellowish light shone on the wet pavement. I braked at a stop sign. A single headlight glowed through the darkness in my rearview mirror.
Tension gnawed at my chest. The windshield wipers whipped back and forth. I hit the accelerator again. The car leapt forward. I wound through the streets circling the university, knowing I could lose Archer in the tangle. I pulled away from the north side of campus and started on a narrow road twisting into the mountains.
My cell phone rang again and again. Archer, probably. Then Dean’s ringtone. Liv’s ringtone. I fumbled for the phone and turned it off, throwing it onto the passenger seat.
I’ve done a few of those high-class women… she’d like slumming… I’m going to take off…
Pressure flooded my veins. My own stupid voice echoed in my head.
Stay here.
He was still behind me. The single headlight burned through the wet night. I sped up and made a left turn. Pine and spruce trees grew in dense thickets on either side of the road. The only sound was the slap of the windshield wipers and tires.
He was getting closer. Fear lit inside me. Too close. I’d let him get too close. For all my tough-chick, I-can-handle-this crap, I’d broken the cardinal, unspoken rule and let emotions get tangled up with insanely hot sex. I’d asked too many questions, given up too much of myself, taken on too much of his pain, liked him too much.
I’d fucking surrendered.
My foot sank onto the accelerator. The car slipped on the slick road, veering toward the center yellow line glowing in the headlights. I yanked on the steering wheel to straighten it. The tires skidded again. Fear stabbed me. I hit the brake to slow down, as the headlights reached a dark curve in the road.
I swerved around it, trying to stay on track. My fear swelled into outright panic. The back tires skidded again. The front end of the car plunged off the right side of the road toward the guardrail. I gripped the wheel and just managed to bring the car to a screeching halt before the front end hit the rail.
My breath sawed through the air. I threw the car into reverse to get back on the road. The tires spun in the mud. With a curse, I pushed harder on the accelerator, but only drove the tires in deeper. The engine roared. The single headlight of Archer’s motorcycle was rounding the turn.
“Shit.”
Though I didn’t know where the fuck I thought I was going, I hurried to get out of the car. I only knew I didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to face him. The rain hit me like pellets as I shoved out of the driver’s seat.
“Goddammit.” My heeled sandals sank into the thick mud. In seconds, my blue suit jacket and trousers were soaked.
Archer brought his motorcycle to a sharp stop on the side of the road. He was a menacing shadow in the dark. My panic surfaced fresh. I stumbled backward, needing to get away from him.
He yanked off his helmet. “Kelsey!”
His voice was like thunder. Oh, god. He leapt off his bike and started toward me. Suddenly aware that he was the predator and I was the prey, I yanked my shoes out of the mud and turned to run.
“Kelsey, stop!” Desperation ripped through the order.
Driven by fear—of him, of myself, of knowing I had already given him everything and had nothing left—I ran, stumbling blindly through the pouring rain, tripping over wet branches and mud-clotted grass.
I had no hope of outrunning him, but I tried. My lungs burned. I made it up the slope back to the road away from Archer. Just as I reached the pavement, he shouted my name again.
Adrenaline burst through me. I picked up speed, running down the road, away from my car, away from the university, away from town, away from him. His boots pounded on the road.
He grabbed me from behind, yanking me backward, his arms locking like steel bands around me. My ankle twisted with the impact. With a cry, I felt myself careening off balance. Archer didn’t loosen his hold, keeping me upright.
“Don’t run,” he begged, his chest heaving against my back. “Please don’t run. I’m sorry. Jesus, Kelsey, I’m so fucking sorry.”
Pain lanced through me. I struggled for air. Before I could break away from him, he lifted me into his arms and carried me back to the car. He yanked open the door and put me on the backseat. Rain dripped down my face and hair. My ankle throbbed.
“Are you okay?” He crawled in after me, slamming the door to shut out the rain, his eyes bright and burning in the dark.
I scrambled backward, some part of me still needing to get away from him, overwhelmed by his presence in the confines of the car.
He reached up to flick on the light. Tension lined his features.
“Kelsey.” He grabbed my arms, trying to pull me toward him. “Don’t look so scared. You’re shaking… come here. Please.”
I knew if I got any closer to him, I’d be lost and never found again. As it was, tears flooded my eyes and ran down my already-wet cheeks.
I yanked my arm from Archer’s grip and slapped his face again. A red imprint spread over his jaw. Grim satisfaction filled me.
“You want more?” Archer released me and yanked open his leather jacket to expose the damp white T-shirt underneath. “Go ahead. I’ll take it.”
“You sonuvabitch.” I flew at him, hissing and scratching. My fists connected with his chest, his face, his abdomen. “How dare you? How fucking dare you come here and turn my world upside down and then leave? How dare you think I would fall in love with a man I thought was less? You’ve never been less, Archer! You’ve always been more… so much more… too goddamned much…”
The impact of my fists barely moved him, but I felt his unleashed pain. I could hardly see his expression past the blur of tears. I slapped him again. His hand closed around my wrist to stop another blow.
“Goddammit, Kelsey,” he whispered. “I surrender.”
Oh, no. No. He couldn’t. I’d never wanted to conquer him.
Fresh tears spilled down my cheeks. I grabbed the front of his shirt. Our breath rasped in the space between us. He closed the distance, crushing his mouth against mine. A moan escaped my throat, my hand fisting in his T-shirt. He put his hands on either side of my head, angling my mouth to his, deepening the kiss.
Desperation flooded us both. The air thickened, rain still streaming down the windows. I knew I could never stop it, this heat that even now burned so hot between us. Tension coiled through Archer’s muscles as he moved closer, his knee pushing between mine. I shoved my hands under his shirt and dug my fingers into the ridges of his abdomen. He thrust his tongue into my mouth, licking, biting, sucking.
I gave up, gave in, gave over. With a sob, I let him push me back against the seat, his body edged with heat and urgency. He cupped my face in his rough palms, the gentle touch a striking contrast to the ferocity of his kiss. Lust sparked through my veins at the sensation of his chest pressing against my breasts, his erection throbbing against my thigh.
He ripped open my shirt and bra to expose my breasts. I gasped, curling my fingers into him as he drew the hard nipples into his mouth. Arousal flared through my lower body, driving my need higher.
I writhed beneath him, fumbling for the buttons of his jeans, my hands trembling. My need for him was drenching, all-consuming, like the fall of night studded by bright stars. He reached down to rip at the fastenings of my pants, lowering his head to slide his tongue over my neck. He closed his teeth around my collarbone.
“So fucking hot,” he whispered, pushing his hand beneath my panties. “You belong to me.”
Of course I did. I always had. Even before I knew who he was.
My face was damp. I struggled to pull air into my tight lungs as he pushed down my pants and underwear. His fingers moved with adept precision over my folds, sliding into me, his breath hot against my neck. I gripped his back as the pressure began to spiral through me.
“Archer.” My voice was strained. I was burning.
He moved back only long enough to shove down his jeans, releasing his thick erection. Need enveloped us. Sweat trickled down his temple. I parted my legs, letting him in, my heart beating wildly as the hard knob pressed against my folds. I drove my hands into his hair, guiding his face back to mine.
“Kiss me,” I whispered.
He pressed his mouth to mine the instant he pushed his cock into my body, filling me, claiming me hard and deep.
“Oh!” I arched upward, digging my fingers into his hips. I took the force of his thrusts, his tongue in my mouth, the scorching heat of him.
I needed him to drive away the darkness, to fill me with light and sparks and stars, even as I knew the clouds would fall again. I wrapped one leg around his thighs and braced the other on the floor. My head filled with the sound of moans and gasps, his flesh hitting mine, filling me.
I moved to grip his corded arms. Above me, his eyes burned through the shallow light. He lowered his head again, his lips on mine the instant the exquisite wave rolled through my body. I cried out against his mouth, shuddered around his cock, engulfed by his body. He didn’t lift the pressure of his kiss as he plunged into me again and again, his muscles flexing as his release ripped through him. I drank the low groan that rumbled from his chest, both of us sliding back down together.
I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes. His breath rasped against my shoulder. When our breathing calmed and he pushed away from me, I felt like part of me had been severed.
I opened my eyes to look at him. Wariness fell between us.
“Jesus, Kelsey,” he muttered, dragging his hands over his face. “When your car went off the road…” He shook his head. “Never been so fucking scared.”
I fumbled to close my shirt and pull up my pants. My chest ached.
“You were going to do it,” I whispered. “You were going to leave without telling me.”
Self-disgust crossed his expression. “Because I’m a goddamn coward.”
“No, you are not. Why… why can’t you see that?”
He yanked up his jeans with an irritated movement. “I’m sorry. I never should have… I was… ah, fuck, Kelsey. I never thought it would come to this.”
Of course he hadn’t. He’d just wanted to have a good time. So had I. That had been the deal.
I sat up slowly, still feeling his scent on me, the trickle of his semen between my legs, the abrasions on my skin from his stubble, his teeth, and his desperate grip.
Too much. It was all too much. I had gone willingly into a storm that I’d known would leave me breathless and aching. I’d also been delusional enough to think I could protect myself, but even if my sharp, scientific brain hadn’t see the truth, my heart now did.
I would never be able to protect myself from the storm. Because the storm was everything—love, desire, happiness, sorrow, pain. Life.
“You need to go,” I whispered.
Archer turned to look at me, his eyes dark and shuttered. He knew as well as I did that a safe, happily-ever-after life could never work for us. Not for two people who had such a reckless, urgent pull toward danger and risk. We’d end up hurting each other and hating ourselves for it.
This time with Archer had shown me that with striking clarity. I could manage to contain the storm inside me, but not the one in him too.
“I don’t want to go without you,” he said.
An ache split through my heart. “Please don’t say that.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Aside from the fact that there is no way I can go with you, it was never part of the deal, Archer.”
Because I knew him so well, I saw the flash of regret in his dark eyes. I latched on to the fact that I’d found a sore spot.
“No holds barred, no strings attached, right?” I said. “Do you not remember saying that? Do you not remember me agreeing?”
Anger flared in his eyes. I recoiled. He gripped my shoulders and lowered his face closer to mine.
“I remember,” he snapped. “But we both know everything has changed. I love you, dammit.”
Painful sparks went off in my veins, creating a hollow longing for everything I wanted and yet couldn’t have.
“You can’t love me,” I whispered. “You said from the beginning that we’d just have a good time while you were here.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t love you,” he said, his voice tight. “And I was a fucking idiot not to realize from the start that it would be so damned easy to fall in love with you. You’re mine, dammit. You’re brilliant and good and beautiful. You’re sexy as hell, you make me laugh and feel alive again… how could I not fall in love with you? How could I not have known that I would?”
My throat ached, even as his I love you and you’re mine swirled through me with all the youthful hope I never knew I had. I’d spent so many years trying to be tough, putting up walls, that I’d ignored the romantic dreams flourishing like flowers in my heart. A sweet, secret garden.
I pressed my hands to my face. Rain pounded on the roof of the car. I suddenly realized my wet clothes were cold and clammy, sticking to my skin.
I couldn’t ask him to stay again. Couldn’t stand the idea of trapping a storm even if the storm asked to be trapped.
I wanted to, of course. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg him to stay with me, to live my life and never leave, but I knew well the price of selfishness. I would never pay it again.
“I’ll call Dean to come and get me,” I said.
Archer tensed at the sound of his brother’s name, but he didn’t move to open the car door.
“Ask me to stay,” he said.
My heart broke right down the middle. “You can’t stay. You left home at seventeen, Archer. You’ve been on the road almost your whole life. You need freedom.”
“The hell I need freedom.” He grabbed my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face. His features were rigid, his eyes burning.
“I need you,” he snapped. “You are my freedom.”
I couldn’t speak. Love and despair battled inside me, hot and painful. I had never been needed by a man. Never needed one. Never loved one.
Archer released one of my wrists and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a quarter.
“Heads, I leave,” he said, his voice rough. “Tails, I stay.”
My heart crashed against my ribs. The edges of my vision darkened as he flipped the coin into the air. I grabbed it before it fell back into his palm.
Silence thickened the space between us. I heard the sound of his breath, sensed the desperation coiling through him.
Before I lost all courage, before the world could shatter me, I used the only weapon I had left. The one Archer had handed to me the day we met at the university.
“You need to go,” I repeated. I forced my voice to harden. I couldn’t look at him. “It was fun, but it’s over. You’d never fit into my life, Archer. We’re way too different. That’s exactly why it was just a good time. And why it’s time for you to leave.”
My words rang hollow, much as I tried to sound convincing. I clenched my fists, ready to fight again if I had to, but then the car door clicked open. It sounded like a bullet firing. Archer slid his hand beneath my chin, forcing me to look at him.
I searched his unwavering gaze, the pinpoints of light that I swore no one except me had ever noticed.
“I don’t for a second think you believe any of that,” he said, his eyes glittering. “We’re not so good together because we’re different, storm girl. We’re not night and day or sun and rain. We’re so damn good together because we’re the same. And you’ll never belong to anyone else. Ever. Neither will I.”
He released me and got out of the car. The door slammed shut.
I watched through the rain-splashed window as he walked back to his motorcycle. Then, like a cloud spinning into darkness, he was gone.
I looked at my fist and slowly uncurled my fingers. The quarter lay in my palm, flashing in the overhead light.
Tails.