CHAPTER SEVEN
OLIVIA
PART OF ME WANTS TO SIT in bed forever with Dean by my side and our baby in my arms, but there’s a lot to do and even more to learn. The nurses bring Nicholas in and out for breastfeeding, instructions, tests, bonding. A lactation consultant comes to offer advice about positioning the baby to avoid discomfort, a photographer takes newborn pictures of Nicholas, and delivery people bring flowers and balloons from our friends.
Through it all, Dean sits beside my bed, sometimes holding the baby and sometimes just watching. He doesn’t say much, but I can almost see his brain processing everything as Dr. Nolan provides instructions for recovery, and a nurse discusses a very long list of things to be mindful of once we’re home with the baby.
Two days pass in much the same way. Dean rarely leaves. He sleeps on a fold-out bed in my room and showers in the adjoining bathroom.
He holds Nicholas whenever he gets a chance, learns how to change a diaper and use a bulb syringe on the baby’s stuffy nose. He takes notes about the symptoms that would require a call to the doctor when we’re home. He watches carefully whenever I try to nurse, and by the second day he’s using terms like “latching on” and “colostrum.”
Kelsey comes in with a huge chocolate bar for me and a mild scolding for Dean because he didn’t call her right when I went into labor.
“I was a little busy at the time,” he remarks dryly.
“You’re forgiven. When do I get to meet my godson?”
“I’ll ask the nurse to bring him in.”
After he leaves, Kelsey brings up a calendar on her phone and shows it to me.
“So I’ve got a schedule for people to bring you guys dinner,” she says. “We’re rotating on a four-day basis, and everyone’s instructed to bring at least enough for two meals.”
“Kelsey, you didn’t have to do that.”
“Trust me, you’ll thank me later.” She puts the phone back in her purse. “Allie is trying to get everyone to base their meals around a theme. There’s enough food in your fridge now for the next five days, but I’ll call tomorrow to see if you need anything. And I’m on-call if you want me to take care of the baby while you catch up on sleep or something.”
“Thank you so much.”
She waves her hand dismissively, as if she knows I’m about to get emotional. The door opens, and a nurse wheels Nicholas’s bassinet in. Dean follows.
“Oh my god, he’s beautiful.” Kelsey reaches into the bassinet to pick up the bundle of baby. After settling him in the crook of her arm, she smells the top of his head and starts cooing at him and making baby noises.
Dean and I exchange amused looks, even though both of us have always known Kelsey is a secret softie.
“Okay, I’m leaving you alone.” Kelsey shifts Nicholas carefully back into the bassinet and bends to hug me. “You’ve got a gorgeous kid there, Liv. Thank the gods he looks like you.”
She flashes Dean a smile. He responds with a wink.
“No argument from me,” he remarks.
“I’m number one on your speed-dial, so call if you need me.” Kelsey lets Dean give her a bear hug, even responding with one of her own, before she heads off.
Dean brings Nicholas to me, and I get him positioned for another attempt at nursing.
While both Dr. Nolan and the nurses are all lovely and helpful, by the time my discharge time rolls around, I’m very ready to be home. Dean and I pack up our things, and I dress Nicholas in a “newborn” onesie and pants that are so big they hang off his little arms and legs. I settle him in his carry car-seat and buckle the straps.
Among all the many other unexpected things in recent months, I’m surprised by how natural it already is to care for our son—and that had been one of the things I wasn’t at all certain I could do.
Turns out there have been a lot of things I wasn’t certain I could do—and yet I’ve discovered I can do them very well indeed.
After I sign the discharge papers, a nurse wheels me to the front door where Dean is waiting with the car. He settles Nicholas in the backseat and opens the passenger side door for me. I shift to get comfortable and pull on my seatbelt.
After Dean closes the door and gets into the driver’s seat, he doesn’t move. Silence fills the air.
“Dean?” I glance at him.
He’s watching me, his dark eyes filled with warmth and tenderness. He holds up his left hand. I put my left hand against his. We twine our fingers together, and our wedding rings make a familiar click that sounds like the bright, gentle ring of a bell.
Dean brings my hand up and brushes his lips across my fingers, then releases me so he can start the car.
“You, me, and now three, beauty,” he says.
“We’re a trio.” I smile. “Three sides, like a triangle. Isn’t a triangle the strongest shape in the universe?”
“According to mathematicians and scientists, maybe,” Dean says. “Not according to me.”
“So according to Professor West,” I ask, “what’s the strongest shape in the universe?”
“A heart.”
Of course. My beautiful, brilliant husband.
And so we bring our son home, moving together into our new future as parents—a future forever woven with the unbreakable golden thread of Liv and Dean.
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