CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
ARCHER
“PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES WITH STRAWBERRY JAM.” Liv extended two paper bags, shifting Nicholas to her other arm. “And some treats from the Wonderland Café.”
“Thanks.” I took the bags and put them in the saddlebag of my bike. “I have plenty of chocolate milk in a thermos, too.”
Liv smiled, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes like it always did. I couldn’t tell if she was mad or sad or what, but then she reached out to hug me with her free arm.
“Have a safe trip,” she said. “I’m really glad you came, Archer. I hope you’ll visit us again soon.”
“Thanks.” I didn’t know what else to say to her.
I took Nicholas’s hand and gave it a little shake. He grabbed my forefinger. Tight, like he didn’t want to let go. I pulled my hand away and rubbed his hair.
“Later, alligator,” I said.
He blinked. Liv turned to where Dean stood slightly behind her. She touched his arm and started toward the Butterfly House with Nicholas. An awkward silence fell between Dean and me.
“Good luck, Archer,” he finally said. “I’m sorry about everything.”
“Yeah, me too.” I searched in my saddlebag and brought out the medieval King Arthur coin I’d been carrying around for weeks. “I found this in the box of stuff Mom sent me. I don’t know how it ended up there.”
Dean took the coin. “You gave this to me as a birthday present one year.”
“Yeah.”
“I’d always wondered what happened to it. It was a great present.”
I almost smiled. “For you, maybe. I’d have wanted Legos.”
“I know.” He looked at me. “Can I keep this?”
“I brought it for you.”
“Thanks.” Dean closed his fingers around the coin. “I’m sorry, Archer. I know I fucked things up by telling you. I wish to hell I’d never done that. It’s the biggest regret of my life.”
I shook my head, embarrassed by how things had gone down. “Forget it.”
“No, I made a mistake. I didn’t know how to fix it, either.”
“It wasn’t always your mistake to fix,” I admitted.
“I could have tried harder.” He stopped and cleared his throat. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but by assuming you’d be happy to take the money after working here… I was thinking like Dad.”
I didn’t get it. “Like Dad?”
“Yeah.” Dean shoved his hands into his pockets. “Whenever I earned something… a trophy or scholarship… he made such a big deal out of it. Bragged to all his friends. And when I wasn’t at the top, like if I got a B instead of an A on a test, he thought I’d failed. It was shitty, being a disappointment to Justice West because he expected so damned much from me. I learned that anything less was the same as failure. It was a tough standard to uphold.”
I guessed it was. I’d known early on that I’d never live up to the standard Dean had set. But I’d never thought he was struggling, too. That it wasn’t easy for him.
“I do know that people can work and do good things because they want to,” he continued. “Not because they expect a reward. And I’d never wanted to think like Dad or be like him.”
“You’re…” I swallowed. “You’re nothing like him, Dean. Even I can see that.”
“I’ve tried not to be.”
“You succeeded. You’ve always succeeded.” For the first time ever, the admission wasn’t followed by the pain of jealousy because I knew my brother’s success hadn’t come without a price.
And he’d been right. I’d had chances to turn my life around. I just hadn’t always taken them. I’d fixated on what I’d lost rather than what I’d been given.
Maybe, at the very least, it wasn’t too late to change that.
“Thanks for everything,” Dean said. “You did some impressive work, and you helped us out a lot. I really appreciate it.”
I looked past him to the house. Even now, I was still glad I’d stayed for a while.
Dean hesitated. “And look, think about the money, okay?” he asked. “Even if you don’t want it, our grandfather set it aside for you. And the reason he did was because you’re family.”
I nodded. I still had the lawyer’s papers. I didn’t want to be an ass about accepting a huge amount of money, but the truth was I’d lived my life the same way for twenty years. I didn’t want or need a house or anything big like that. I no longer had Kelsey to spend the money on. At most, I’d buy a new motorcycle and stick the rest of the money in a bank account.
I scratched my head. “Look, if I take the money, could you tell me what to do with it? You know, invest it or give some of it to charity or whatever. Put it in a college fund for Nicholas. I don’t know.”
Dean’s expression eased. “I’d be glad to help you. Thanks for asking.”
I turned toward my bike, not wanting to ask my next question. I hadn’t seen Kelsey in the two days since everything had gone to hell. “Do you know if Kelsey is still around?”
“She went to her mother’s place to finish taking care of stuff. Left yesterday.”
I reached back into my saddlebag for a thick, beige envelope. “Could you give this to her for me?”
Dean didn’t ask what it was. He just took the envelope and nodded. “Sure.”
“Okay. Well, see you.” I straddled the bike.
“Hey,” Dean said.
I looked back at him.
“You said you were bad off for a while,” he said. “That you didn’t know how to get help. So what made you go straight?”
“A girl.” I pulled on my helmet and fastened the strap. “Sarah.”
I expected him to ask more questions, but he didn’t. Instead, he nodded, like he knew all about how a girl could change your life for the better and lead you places you never knew existed.
“Maybe you’ll tell me about her one day,” he said.
“Maybe.”
I knew Liv and Dean had had their own struggles. Maybe one day he’d tell me about them, too.
But I didn’t want to hear about them now. Dean had known from day one there would be a happy ending with Liv. Even I could see that.
Just as I had known from day one that a happy ending wasn’t in the cards for Kelsey and me. For her, sure, with someone else. Someone nice and successful. For us, it was temporary. A hell of a good time while I was here.
My mistake for forgetting that.
“I have your number on my phone,” Dean said. “If it changes, let me know, okay? I’d like to know where you are.”
“Sure. Thanks. Take care of Nicholas. Don’t forget about his tree house.”
“I won’t.” He stepped forward. “Come back sometime, man. I know it’s been tough, but maybe… well, it’d be good to see you again.”
I didn’t have a response to that. The idea of coming back and knowing that Kelsey—
Dean and I extended our hands at the same time and shook.
“Take care,” I finally said.
“You, too. Stay on target.”
“I copy, Gold Leader.”
I caught his grin before flipping down the shield on my helmet. I revved the engine and went down the driveway, through Avalon Street, away from the Butterfly House, away from Mirror Lake, away from Kelsey.