When I got home that night I went straight to bed. I was completely exhausted. After having sex with Jaret I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up, went back to the dance floor, had a bit of fun, then begged off from an after-prom party at Jen's place and just went home, where I collapsed into bed.
It had been one hell of a night.
Waking up the next morning, I realized I felt a little bit sore down there.
I had a shower, and as I let the hot water wash over my body I thought about the feeling of Jaret's hands all over my body, of him slipping inside of me, of how I lost my virginity on prom night. What a cliché. Except I didn't lose it to my high school sweetheart, I lost it to the guy I spent the whole year trying to avoid.
The shame was definitely overpowering. I had failed myself. I was going to resist Jaret. We only had a few weeks of school left. Then, whatever he was going to do, he wasn't going to be doing it near me.
God damn it.
How could I have been so stupid?
And yet, it had felt so good.
The cacophony of emotions made me want to spend the whole day curled up in bed feeling sorry for myself, but unfortunately when I got out of the shower I heard my mom calling up to me.
"Be down in a sec mom," I yelled out from my bedroom, throwing on some clothes and making my way to the kitchen where, thankfully, she had some pancakes ready for me.
I was definitely in the mood for comfort food.
"So how did your prom go last night?" she asked. "Was Pat a gentleman?"
I laughed. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's going to take less than a week before he and Amy start dating. Which is good, they've been friends for so long, I was honestly surprised he didn't take her to prom instead of me. But some of the jocks fell off the edge of the balcony and are in the hospital."
Mental note: I had to text Jen and ask her how Kyle was doing. I hoped he broke every bone in his body.
"Oh no! You're joking!" my mom exclaimed, and I shook my head.
"Nope. It put a bit of a damper on things for a while, but the guys are going to be fine."
"Well I'm glad to hear it. Such a shame for something like that to happen on such a big night."
I poured syrup on my pancakes while my mom continued.
"Listen, I'm going out for dinner tonight, and I'd like you to come along, if that's alright. There's someone I'd like you to meet."
"Sure, mom."
"Thanks, sweetie."
My mom was one of those serial daters. I briefly wondered what kind of loser she'd gotten into her life this time.
For a woman who made a good living as an account executive for a major company, on top of her night job to pay for my schooling without having to go into debt, my mom had terrible, terrible taste in men.
My father left before I was born, and my whole life has basically been a train of train wrecks. From the guy who she dumped after the police raided my mom's apartment looking for the drugs he was dealing, to the guy who tried hitting on me when I was fourteen, I figured my mom must have had two dozen different boyfriends since I was born.
And every time, she wanted me to meet them.
Though I had to admit, it had been a while since her last one. Maybe eighteen months? Whatever. I wondered how long it was going to take this one to decide to cheat on her.
I stuffed another mouthful of pancake in my mouth while I grabbed my phone and started texting Jen.
Hey. How's Kyle?
Her reply came less than a minute later.
Ok. Couple broken bones. Going into surgery today to get screws put into his leg.
Bummer. Definitely not a bummer. I hoped it hurt.
Yeah. Lucky football season's over.
For sure. Meet up later?
Def. Gonna be at the mall this afternoon. Food court at 2?
Done. See you then.
I spent the morning hanging out in my room, doing a little bit of studying for final exams, then I changed into something nice and told my mom I was going out to the mall.
"Remember to be back here by six so we can get to the restaurant in time," my mom shouted at me as I left. "Have fun!"
For two hours Jen, Carrie and I wandered around the mall, bought a few things, drank Orange Julius and reminisced about prom. I absolutely didn't tell them about Jaret. No. Definitely not. That was private, even my best friends couldn't know about it.
I wondered if Jaret was going to tell anyone. He had such a huge group of friends. I wondered if he was with them right now, drinking on the roof of the elementary school, bragging about how he bagged the "ice queen", and if on Monday every single student in the school would know what we'd done on the couch in the lounge room of the golf club.
No, surely not. Jaret was an asshole, but he wasn’t that much of an asshole.
Was he?
* * *
At ten past six my mom and I were led by a waiter to a table at the back of the restaurant. Already sitting in one of the chairs was a tall man, with black hair and a kind face. He looked familiar somehow, but I wasn't quite sure why.
"Ah, Marilyn," he greeted my mom as we arrived. He got up off his chair and took her coat, gently placing it on the back of her chair. Well, this guy was already a lot more promising than a lot of her other boyfriends.
"And you must be Michaela," he told me, holding out a hand. I took it and smiled. His handshake was firm, but not overly hard. He looked me in the eye as he greeted me. Yeah, this guy might not end up being so bad after all.
"Michaela, this is Alex," my mom told me, and I smiled.
"It's nice to meet you," I told him.
"Likewise," he replied, sitting back down. "Unfortunately my son's going to be a bit late, but that's him. I told him the reservation was for five thirty, so if we're lucky he'll show up sometime in the next half hour."
My mom laughed as the waiter brought over menus. I pretended to be super interested in the appetizers while trying to size up what was happening here.
Why had I been invited to this dinner? Why was Alex's son also going to be here? It seemed weird for being such an early date. And this restaurant was nice. I almost felt underdressed.
Maybe I was just overthinking things. Maybe my mom and her new boyfriend just wanted their families to meet each other, and maybe this guy was actually kind of normal, and had money, and wanted to take us somewhere nice.
There's a first time for everything, after all. Including my mom finding a guy that's actually good for her, for once.
My mom and Alex made small talk for a minute before also moving to the menu. When we'd all decided what we wanted, Alex turned to me.
"So Michaela, your mom tells me you're the top student at Wildwood Academy."
I blushed. "Well, top student might be an overstatement."
It wasn't, but modesty is a pretty good policy.
"I think it's wonderful. An education is so important, and by starting early in high school you're setting a great groundwork for college. Do you know where you're going yet?"
I shrugged. "I'm not completely sure. I was thinking of somewhere local, maybe. So I can live at home, keep things a bit cheaper."
Alex nodded. "I see. That's a good idea. Student loans these days are getting so incredibly expensive. I wish my son was more like you. I think his plan is to go to New York. He wants to get away from me, I think, but I'm not sure he's exactly ready to go out in the world without adult supervision."
I smiled at what was obviously a half-joke.
Suddenly, Alex's face lit up.
"Speaking of, here he is."
I turned around, and I'm pretty sure all of the blood immediately left my face.
Standing behind me was Jaret Black.
"Wait, Jaret's your son?" I blurted out, unable to help myself. Jaret just stood there, a small smile on his lips, always playing the part of the cool, confident guy while inwardly my brain was in a panic.
"Yes, I suppose you two would know each other, being in the same grade and all."
Holy crap. Nope. This wasn't happening. Nope. Absolutely not. My mom was not dating the father of the guy I'd lost my virginity to last night.
Surely not.
"Yeah, I know Mikki a little," Jaret replied, a small smile forming on his lips as he sat down.
God, this was going to be insuffrable.
"Oh, good. I'm glad," Alex replied. "I didn't think the two of you would run in the same circles."
We didn't. And I certainly didn't think my mom would run in the same circle as state Senator Alexander Black. But apparently I was wrong.
"Well, we don't know each other well. We've just been... exploring each other, recently," Jaret told his father, and I hoped no one noticed the deep shade of red my face turned as soon as he said it.
There was no way Jaret was going to make this easy.
Did the guy seriously have no shame?
"That makes it easier then. After all, Marilyn and I invited you two here because we wanted to tell you something."
Uh oh.
"We're getting married," my mother squealed, spoiling the surprise.
This time, even Jaret couldn't pretend to be the cool, calm collected asshole he usually was. We both sat there, completely stunned.
"Congratulations!" Jaret finally said, and I repeated his well wishes.
"We know we didn't tell you kids about the fact that we were dating. We wanted to keep it private, until we knew it was serious, and that it was going to work out," Jaret's father told us.
"And then last night, when Alex proposed to me," my mom continued, shooting a loving glance at the man that was going to be my stepfather, "I said yes of course, and we realized we had to let you kids know as soon as possible."
Great. So while Jaret was taking my virginity last night his dad was proposing to my mom.
Great.
Absolutely great.
"So, uh, how long has this been going on?" I asked. Everything about this conversation was completely blowing my mind. There were so many different thoughts running through my head that I was starting to feel dizzy. I couldn't focus on anything.
"Well, we met about six months ago at a fundraiser that Marilyn's company sponsored," Alex replied. "And then we started seeing each other casually, then more seriously. And I've realized that for the first time since Jaret's mother passed away that I'm ready to love someone again, and that person is Marylin."
He looked at her with a look of such longing and sweetness that I couldn't help but be happy for them, even though it meant that I had completely screwed up my life.
I'd had sex with the guy that was going to be my stepbrother.
Ew.
That was so wrong, even the thought of it made me want to run away and hide my head in shame.
Good God, what if Jaret had told people?
Then what if people found out?
I'd never hear the end of it.
Ugh. This was definitely not good.
Still, I had to put on a brave face. Pretend for my mom that everything was cool, that I was really happy for her.
And honestly, I would have been if it wasn't for my new stepbrother. After all, I'd seen my mom get her heart broken so many time by losers that a state Senator could only be a step up, and he genuinely seemed nice.
I wondered how he managed to raise a son who was such a douchebag.
"I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable," my mom told us, noticing that both Jaret and myself were being especially quiet. "It's a lot to throw on you kids at once. But we hope you'll get used to it, and we can be one big happy family."
"Oh yes," Jaret finally answered with a grin. "I know just how good Mikki makes me feel already."
If looks could kill, Jaret would have been dead in his chair right then.
Did he not realize how big of a deal this was? We were going to be step-siblings!
Step-siblings!
And we'd had sex.
Oh God.
This was bad.
And the worst part was, there was no one I could tell about this.
I couldn't tell my friends. Hell, I couldn't tell them that I'd had sex with Jaret before I found out he was going to be family. What the hell could I tell them now?
Nope, this was definitely one of those secrets that was going to the grave with me.
Luckily, before we had to have any more of this incredibly awkward conversation, the waiter came over with our food, and we all started digging in. I had never focused on chicken and bacon carbonara so hard before in my life.
When dinner was finally over, my mom and I went back to her car.
"I hope it wasn't too bad that I kind of sprung that on you, sweetie," my mother told me as she pressed the 'unlock' button and the car beeped twice.
"No. It was just a shock, I think. I had no idea you were even seeing someone."
"I know. I wanted to keep it a little bit private. After all, I was thinking about how many men I've dated since you were born, and I figured maybe hiding things until things were definitely serious wasn't a bad idea."
"Yeah. Thanks mom. I think I'll be ok with this. I just need some time to process it."
Nope. I wasn’t going to be ok with this. Definitely not.
Never, ever.