“So what’s good here?” Jaret asked when we were seated. I couldn’t help but notice the hostess checking Jaret out. It was so unfair for one man to be that good looking.
“The duck fries. And literally any burger,” I answered. “Seriously, there’s nothing in LA that even comes close to this place.”
“That’s a pretty big call. I’ll have you know that I’ve tried basically every single burger place south of San Francisco.”
“Well, you’ll see,” I replied. The waitress came back with our drinks, and as her eyes lingered on Jaret for just a second too long, I realized I was jealous. Jealous!
Stop it, Michaela, I scolded myself. After all, this wasn’t a date. I wasn’t dating my brother. I’d slept with him, and I was pregnant with his baby, but he wasn’t mine. He could damn well get with the waitress if he wanted to.
I sipped my water slowly – no more alcohol, coffee or carbonated drinks for me for another seven and a half months. Woo hoo – while wondering why Jaret had invited me out for dinner.
“So. You’re gonna be an accountant, huh?”
“Well, I don’t know now. I mean, yes. Obviously. But the timeline’s going to be messed up. Shit, I had a company that was ready to pay for my degree and hire me. I bet that’s off the table now.”
My heart sunk in my chest as I made the realization.
This baby was really going to change my life.
“Hey. Don’t worry. If you can’t keep the job, I promise you, I’ll pay for all your studies. And a babysitter so you have time to study.”
How on earth did Jaret have all this access to money? He had already said his dad didn’t pay for anything.
“Are you a drug dealer or something?” The words were out of my mouth before I’d gotten a chance to decide if asking that was a good idea or not.
“What?” I think for the first time in my life, I’d actually caught Jaret Black surprised and off guard. Those perfectly shaped eyebrows rose while his eyes widened just a tiny bit. I was half tempted to lean over and plant a kiss on those perfectly plush lips, but knew that was a bad idea.
Get him out of your head. You’ve slept with him twice. Give it a break.
“Well, you keep claiming you have all this money. You’re like three months older than I am, and I live in a one bedroom walkup apartment. You rent a Tesla that probably costs in a week more than I pay in rent in a month. If you’re not getting your money from your dad, then where is it coming from?”
Jaret’s self-assured smirk came back.
“Wow, you really don’t know. I swear, you geeks live under a rock.”
“What don’t I know?”
“Believe it or not, I haven’t actually spent the last few years just getting stoned and banging chicks. I started a company, and I sold it. I’m doing ok.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. Why do you always look so surprised whenever I do something good? You’re not the only one allowed to be successful at shit.”
“Well, it’s not like you were mister work hard in high school.”
There was that grin again.
“You’ve got a point there. Smart-ass. But when it mattered, I worked. And I worked hard. And I made something with it.”
“That’s… actually awesome,” I replied. And I meant it. Starting up a company and selling it for enough money that he could afford what seemed to be a pretty nice lifestyle by the time he was 22 was really impressive. I had to admit that.
“Thanks. I think that’s the first time you’ve ever complimented me.”
“Well, you were bound to do something right eventually.”
Jaret laughed.
“Anyway, there’s my offer. I know we’re not going to be a normal family, and I know I probably won’t even be listed on the birth certificate as her father, but… I care about you. Fuck. I do. I care about what happens to you. You’re my fucking stepsister, after all. And now you’re having my kid. So yeah. I’ll make sure everything goes well. You’ll be able to do your studies. I’ll be here. I’ll move here.”
“You’ll move here?” was all I could say. This whole speech from Jaret was so surprising. He didn’t look at me at all while saying it, his eyes kept darting from the door, to the window, to his drink, to his plate, to everywhere except my eyes.
“Yeah. Why not. After all, it’s my kid, I should live close by. I don’t want him or her to grow up travelling across the country. And it’s not like I’m tied down to anywhere.”
My mouth just opened and closed without any words coming out as I thought about what he was saying.
“It’s funny,” I finally replied. “I moved here to get as far away from you as I possibly could. And now, I love it here. Who knew that you’d end up in the same place?”
“The world’s funny that way.”
“But yes. I would like that. I think it would be good for the baby.”
“Good. I’m glad. I promise you, Mikki. I’ll always take care of you. I promise.”
His eyes held mine as he said those words, and it was like an unseen spark of electricity passed between us. I knew, somehow, that he was telling the truth.
“I love you,” I whispered. And as I said the words, I knew I meant them.
Oh God. This couldn’t be happening.
I couldn’t be in love with my stepbrother.
For a second, I thought he was going to reply in kind. For that split second I actually had faith that he was going to tell me he loved me, and that we were going to live happily ever after.
How could I have been so stupid.
“Seriously?” he eventually replied, the serious expression on his face replaced by a joking grin.
“No! No, of course not,” I hastily replied. Why was I such an idiot? We weren’t having a “moment”. Why had I said it anyway? It wasn’t like it was true. Even though they felt true. No, I couldn’t love my stepbrother. I couldn’t be in love with Jaret.
Absolutely not.
Only the more I denied it to myself, the more I knew I was kidding myself. I did love him.
Great. Just great.
“Then why’d you say it?”
Why did I say it? Because my mouth had a habit of saying words my brain hadn’t had the chance to scan through yet. Because everything else in my life was pretty much a disaster right now, why not ruin everything with Jaret too?
“Just trying to trick you. To see if you would say it back,” I replied. Jaret just gave me a weird look.
“I never picked you for that type.”
“Look, it was a bad joke. Sorry. Hormones. Get used to it.”
That seemed to appease him a little bit more.
“Ok. Listen, it’s getting late, we should probably get you back to your apartment.”
“Alright.” Great. I’d ruined everything.
Jaret and I got up, he paid, and we left the restaurant.
“Thanks for dinner,” I told him, and he nodded.
“No problem. I told you, I’ll take care of you,” he said, but he seemed a bit more distant than before.
Of course I had to ruin it all.