Chapter Thirty-six

It was all-consuming, driving my every thought and defeating every possibility until I finally snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed answers.

That flicker of pain mixed with sorrow that had coated his face for that split second had not only left me staring up at Blake’s ceiling, but caused my mind to swirl with theories which resulted in me leaving the Falcon’s house and walking nine blocks to the pack house. It was official.

I was crazy.

And perhaps borderline stalking.

The pack house was treated more like a hotel than a home, although, in sharing that, it always felt like home; inviting and safe.

The Harris’s had a wing blocked off on the top floor which was solely their area which was fair enough because I wouldn’t take lightly to people storming in around my bedroom either.

Still, that hadn’t stopped me from walking up the four extra staircases.

I wanted answers.

I didn’t want just clipped double-edged comments from him. I wanted answers; admitting that still made my skin crawl.

If only I could just block him out.

But no, I had to want to sort things out with him. Now, as I stood in front of his bedroom door, there was only one thing on my mind - what the hell was I thinking!

Just because I wanted to melt the ice between us didn’t mean he would want to.

This was Zane Harris after all. The notorious jerk who treated women like a new pair of socks - use once then throw them away.

I chewed my bottom lip debating on what to do. While I knew that side of Zane extremely well, I had also seen the softer side. The side that took me out for dinner, the side that was the supporter kind and wanted to protect me when he thought I was in danger.

Taking a sharp breath, I was either going to regret this in a few moments or be thankful I did it.

With a closed fist, I quickly knocked three times on his bedroom door.

How could one second passing feel like ten?

I was about to turn and sprint when the door swung open. Now I was suddenly speechless for a whole other reason.

His beautiful topless upper body put the detailed masterpieces of tattoos on display. His hair was ruffled, but his eyes were sharp. At least I knew I hadn’t woken him.

“Um, hi.” I stood awkwardly in front of him, diverting my eyes from his half-naked body.

Stupid boys.

Stupid hormones.

Stupid Zane.

“Allie, what are you doing here?”

I was taken back by the hardness in his tone. “I came to see you.” I felt like I needed to be defensive, but my tone failed me, and like normal, it was soft and non-threatening.

“At three in the morning?”

I crossed my arms. “Didn’t realize you had a time limit on visits.”

“It’s common sense to not go knocking on people’s doors at this time in the morning!” he hissed, but it wasn’t what he was saying that grabbed my attention, it was the ruffle of noise in his room.

“Do you have someone in there?” I attempted to pry around him.

“Did you forget, Winters, that we aren’t talking?” He pulled the door closer to him, blocking any chance I had to see in his room.

“That’s why I came here. I wanted to, um, you know…” Why weren’t the words coming to me? I wanted to smooth the waters between us, why couldn’t I just say that?

“Well you can, umm, you know whatever somewhere else,” he said firmly, trying to brush me off.

“You’re being extremely cold, Harris.” I narrowed my eyes at him.

Sure, he wasn’t known for being overly welcoming, but this was ice compared to his normal cold heart.

“Zane, what happened earlier this evening. I wanted to hopefully well…I didn’t think that my moving back home meant that I was cutting our friendship in half.”

He scoffed, “You mean in fucking pieces then burnt them.”

“I wasn’t the one to cut our friendship into pieces and burn them.” I pointed a finger at his warm chest. “You were the one that did that.”

“Go home, Allie.” He slapped my finger away. “Before I lose my temper.”

Lose his temper! Who the hell did he think he was? He had NO reason to be angry with ME!

“You’re a stubborn cold-hearted jerk, Zane Harris!”

“Like I haven’t heard that before.”

“I hate you.”

“Heard that before too.”

I stomped my foot, feeling and most likely acting like a toddler. “Why couldn’t I have got a man that cared about me? That cared about my feelings! That didn’t want to treat me like an invisible blob!”

His face was flushed with rage now. “And why couldn’t I have got a mate that stood for everything I stood for! That wanted to lead by my side! That would protect our pack and lead our generation. No, instead I get YOU! A brat of a freedom fighter. A pack leech that is just waiting for her twenty-first birthday to come so she can leave!”

The pain that I had seen in his eyes earlier wasn’t pain at all now - it was betrayal. He thought I had betrayed him.

I opened my mouth, but he was quicker than I was.

“You’ve got that bracelet back on to block my contact with you, and I know why; because you’re planning with your mutt of a father and brother.” He towered to his full height in front of me. “I won’t ever accept you, Allie. I won’t ever let you near my family, my pack, my friends. I won’t rest until you and your mother are iced out of our pack, and then you will be free to be the scum you are.”

I was stunned to the point I couldn’t form words. I couldn’t say anything but just blink aimlessly, staring up into his furious eyes.

I hadn’t come here to fight.

I hadn’t come here to deal with all that family rubbish.

I had come here to sort things out.

But clearly what I had come here for, didn’t matter anymore.

I took a staggering step back from him.

“I didn’t come here for that,” I muttered, my vision blurring from tears.

“Because you didn’t think I knew about your dirty secret, or should I say plan,” he hissed at me, as if I was planning on destroying his family or something!

He wasn’t going to listen to me. He wasn’t going to believe anything I said so I did the only thing I could do to help him and me in the end. I turned and slowly began to walk away while a few stupid tears slid down my cheeks.

I stopped at the top of the flight of stairs; I turned back to look at him, not caring that he saw my tears.

“I would never have put you or your family in danger. All I would have ever done was love you. I hope that the woman you have in your bed right now can say the same.”

Turning, I fled down the stairs. I had come across death once when I thought I lost my father so I knew whatever it was between Zane and I had just died.

And so, death had finally touched me again.