Chapter Fifty-six

We had driven past the accident. Allie’s mother's car was on its roof and crushed between a car and a pole. I knew as soon as I saw it, she wasn't walking from it unharmed.

I didn't know what was worse, her pain I had been feeling, or when I felt nothing at all. Her clouded jumbled mind disappeared. The pain she was putting me in was gone. I wanted answers as soon as we got to the hospital, but all we got was her mother in the waiting room telling us she had been taken into surgery with internal bleeding and a head injury. That was all we knew. The doctors had rushed her into surgery as soon as she got here.

We were at the private hospital which dealt only with werewolves. Humans thought it was a private and exclusive hospital, and they were right, but all you needed was our DNA to get in.

I was pacing the waiting room.

Just when I thought the night, well, day, now couldn’t get any worse, in walked the Falcon brothers and Ebony.

Chase and Blake went straight to Allie’s mom, hugging her and reassuring her. I hated how they had such a good relationship with Allie and her mom.

“Hey, Zane?”

My head snapped to Ebony, who was looking very nervous.

“What?” I didn’t mean to snap at her, but, right now, I was under a lot of stress, and my whole life was in a fucking surgery bay. Allie didn’t know how I felt about her, cause being the dick I was, I had pushed her away.

When she said she wasn’t fighting it anymore, I panicked. Now I was facing the reality I might never get to tell her I wanted to be with her. Fuck, all I ever wanted was her.

“Sorry about Allie. I’m sure she will be ok.” Ebony’s hand ran down my arm. I didn’t want her touching me. The only person I wanted touching me was Allie.

I pulled away from her. “Why are you even here? You hate her.”

She looked sheepish. “I’ve, um, well, been meaning to talk to her.”

“Well, she won’t be up for a fucking conversation.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ve been meaning to thank her for something she did for Blake and me. She, well, made him see reason when I did something stupid.”

I knew if the situation had been different and I had gone to Ebony to blow off steam about Allie, Ebony wouldn’t have done what Allie had. That was how much Ebony hated her.

“So, you came here out of guilt?” I looked at her.

“I came because my mate is currently freaking out, blaming himself because he didn’t go out with her, and you, my best friend, would be thinking the worst, so I’m here to support both of you.” Ebony reached out for me. “Now, do you want something?”

Yeah, I wanted to turn back time and not be a selfish prick to Allie. “Yeah, I need Allie to wake up, so I can tell her the fucking truth.”

The truth that I loved her. The truth that I wasn’t going to fight the pull or need to be with her anymore. The truth was I had been selfish and a dick. Now that I was realizing it, all I wanted was for her to be ok so I could tell her how much of a wonderful leader she was going to be beside me because Allie was kind, sweet, and had a fire in her when anyone threatened something that was hers.

She had proved that to me repeatedly when she thought her relationship with me had been threatened, but, really, the only one threatening our relationship had been me and my stupid limited thinking.

Something else that bothered me was my parents telling me how wrong she was for me. Knowing that, yet also knowing how wrong they were, because Allie was going to be the perfect leader.

And I was going to make sure it was by my side.

“She knows you love her, even though you have been ignoring her.” Ebony's words were kind, but she was downplaying it.

“I ignored her completely, Ebony. She put her heart on the line, and instead of accepting her and accepting how I felt. I ignored it. I ignored her!”

“You weren’t that hard on her.”

I scoffed.

“Ok, maybe you were.” Ebony frowned. “But she would know you have feelings for her.”

“I doubt that. Not how I’ve been treating her. Playing her hot and cold, like she was just any other girl. Not the girl.”

“You never treated Allie like any of the other women you’ve been with. Hear me when I say that, Zane. Never have you treated Allie like one of the many.” Ebony was saying all the right things, but it wasn’t helping.

“Harris.” Blake stood behind Ebony and linked his arms around her. “You know this is your fault, right?” His words were coated in anger. “Allie wouldn't have been out drinking if you had just accepted her and stopped playing fucking games with her!”

I kept my mouth shut. I was assuming Allie had been out drinking trying to forget her problems. Well, one problem. Me.

“You're a dick, Harris, and if I had it my way, I'd make sure she had nothing to do with you.” Blake let go of Ebony and stepped in front of her, looking like he would like nothing better than to punch me one.

Didn't he get that nothing he could do would even make a scratch on how I was feeling, knowing Allie was hurt and there was nothing I could do? Worse, it was my fault she was in surgery right now.

“She loves you! She even told you! Still, that wasn't good enough for you! So, you know what, Harris. When she comes to, I'm going to personally tell her to cut ties with you. I'd rather my friend mateless and happy than with you miserable.”

My pain went to anger within a second of him threatening to take Allie away from me. “Allie is mine.”

“No, she’s not. You know her and Chase have always been close. Maybe I should encourage that.”

“Shut the fuck up, Falcon.”

“I'm just starting. You won’t admit you want her. She always deserved someone better than you. She fucking deserves a man that is going to worship her. I would have been that man if it wasn’t for Ebony.”

The look on Ebony’s face right now wasn’t even close to how pissed off I was feeling hearing this shit, which is exactly what it was, shit, coming out of his mouth.

“For Winters.”

My head snapped up, looking around Blake at the doctor. Suddenly, I couldn’t care what he had to say, and the anger I was feeling disappeared as soon as I thought I was going to hear how she was. Finally. It had been hours. Maybe five hours. Finally, news.

I immediately walked around Ebony and Blake.

“I’m her mother.” Allie’s mom got up. “Please tell me she is ok?”

“It would seem your daughter wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. If she were human, she wouldn’t have survived the blow through the windshield. She has swelling of the brain, which should subside, but it was her internal injuries that were concerning.” The doctor looked down at his case notes. “We are still unsure if she will have brain damage from the blow. Like I said, she wouldn’t have survived if she was human. We noted something about her being disconnected with her wolf, because she currently isn’t healing.”

“She’s reconnected, so there shouldn’t be a reason why she isn’t healing.” Her mom looked at my dad for answers. Answers he didn’t have.

“Well, is there any reason why she would not want to heal? This wouldn’t be the first case where a werewolf has decided not to heal,” the doctor said and every pair of eyes apart from his in the room went to me.

Even dad was looking at me disappointed.

I stepped forward. Time for me to man up. “Her and I were having problems,” I said to the doctor. If admitting Allie and I were having problems would help her get better, I would.

The doctor frowned. “You’re Zane Harris, right?”

I nodded my head.

“The next Alpha.” He frowned. “What are you, her friend or something?”

“Her mate.” It was the second time today I was saying that out loud.

Other people in the waiting room looked at me with wide eyes. Yeah, I had just said that. The pack was going to have a new female leader, and she was it.

She hadn’t been trained to lead. She hadn’t been brought up with it in her blood, but I still knew she could do it because I was going to help her.

The doctor looked at me shocked, and then looked at dad. “You never mentioned your son had mated.”

“Well I have, does it really matter if it was common knowledge or not?” I snapped, not liking how he ignored me and spoke to dad as if I was lying.

“Well, how connected are you two? Can you explain to me what she has been like the last few weeks? Are you able to feel her feelings, hear her thoughts?”

“We’ve bonded, yes. She’s been withdrawn, angry, upset, and mainly distant.” Disappointed was another word to describe what she had been feeling the last few weeks, and pissed off as soon as she knew I knew what she was feeling. “Last night she was upset and crying. I don’t know what about.”

Blake scoffed behind me.

“Might have something to do with me,” I added. Knowing everyone in the room was thinking it.

The doctor nodded his head and sighed. “In that case, I am going to recommend you don’t see her.”

“WHAT?!”

“You could be the reason why she isn’t healing. If she feels you, it could make her withdraw more. I think it is best for the time being for her family and close friends to be with her.”

“You have to be fucking kidding me.” I usually had a grip over my temper, but it was gone as soon as I heard I couldn’t see her. “I’M HER MATE!”

“And the reason she isn’t healing.”

“Dad.” I looked at him. “Make him let me see her.” Dad could order the doctor to let me see her. Hell, I could order him to let me see her if I was in charge.

Dad shook his head. “We have to think of what is best for Allie. Let her heal, and when she wakes up, she can decide whether she wants to see you or not. She will wake up, correct?” Dad looked at the doctor.

“If she heals. Yes.”

“I want to see her. Now.” Blake shouldered past me and snuck a glance over his shoulder looking smug. “I’m her best friend.”

“So am I.” Chase got up.

“Well, you two are welcome to go see her.”

I couldn’t believe this was happening.

“How long until she wakes up?” I snapped at the doctor. Feeling impatient, it was going to be a long wait. I had a feeling about that.

“Hours, days, weeks. I don’t know,” the doctor answered. “Like I said, it is up to her. Now I’ll show her family and friends where she is.” He held the door open for Allie’s mom and her so-called friends.

I slumped down in a chair. I wasn’t leaving; not until she woke up. I didn’t care if I had to live here. I wasn’t going anywhere.

“That was rough,” Ebony said, taking a seat next to me. “Well, at least you know she is in good hands.”

I looked at her dryly. “Yeah, your mate’s hands.”

“Keyword being in that sentence. Mate. So, Blake is no threat.” She might be saying that, but we both knew it wasn’t the case. Blake loved Allie. His connection with Ebony was still new, but his feelings for Allie ran deep. Deep enough to be considered a real threat.

 

***

I was sitting in the waiting room, where I had been all week. I hadn’t eaten anything that hadn’t come out of a vending machine, and I knew for a fact I was only meters away from Allie.

She hadn’t woken up, but she was dreaming and right now I was focusing on it. Taking comfort in her dreams.

“Ayo, I walk in the room like '60 is here! I keep on saying it until somebody gives me a beer.” She was rapping to the radio looking at Blake while he was driving.

Blake looked at her, grinning. “Yeah, I walk in the room like PEZ is in the room. Make the most of it people, I'll be exiting it soon.” He rapped back to her.

She was laughing.

“You two are awful rappers,” Chase said from the backseat. “My ears are bleeding.”

Allie reached for Blake’s hand, linking her fingers with his free hand. “Why are you coming, Chase?” She turned to look in the back seat at him. “Anyone tell you, you are a third wheel.”

“Since when did you two go on a date to begin with?” Chase looked between both of them. “You could have told me you two were taking this relationship to the next level.”

“We aren’t,” Blake and Allie said together.

“Holding hands, rapping together. Finishing each other sentences. Sure, you two aren’t taking your relationship to the next level.” Chase grumbled, shaking his head in disbelief. “Like this song said, you two are stuck in denial.”

“You’re getting jealous, brother,” Blake grunted.

“All I’m saying is if I was with Allie, I would be making it official. This on and off thing you two have isn’t healthy. What are you going to do when you two find mates?”

“Simple. Keep fucking Allie.” Blake said, and Allie whacked his leg, causing him to groan. “What I’ve already told you that is what we are going to do. Just because we will have to be with our mates, doesn’t mean what we have will stop.”

“I’m darn sure once you find your mate, you will want nothing to do with me,” Allie scoffed and kept her eyes on Blake.

His face tightened. “Trust me. I will. Nothing is going to stop how I feel for you.”

“What about when I’m all loved up for my mate?”

Blake took his eyes off the road and looked at her. “Even then, I’ll still want you, and you will want me.” He smirked. “Because I know you better than anyone else.”

“My mate should know me well,” she challenged him.

“You saying you will do better than me?”

She laughed. “Yeah, you’re right, Falcon. I won’t be doing better than you.”

He nodded his head. “So, we have an agreement. We both find mates, and we still stay together?”

“Can you two hear yourselves? You aren’t even dating right now!” Chase said from the backseat.

“You won’t want me once you find her, but if you really want to hear it, you are the first one to have my heart, Falcon. So yes, I will always want you.” Allie tightened her grip on his hand. “Plus, I don’t think sex can get any better.”

Chase groaned from the backseat. “You two are doing it again, being a couple.”

“We aren’t a couple,” they said at the same time.

“Not even Dr. Phil could help you two,” Chase grumbled, and Allie was looking at Blake’s face, it was getting blurry.

“This is ridiculous.”

My mind was snapped from Allie’s because of Ebony’s voice. That wasn’t a dream. That was a memory, and she had just relived it.

A pair of fingers snapped in my face, and I was forced to look at Ebony.

“What?” What did she want?

“He won’t leave her!” she snapped. “Like he won’t stop holding her hand. As soon as he heard the doctor say she was healing, he basically decided it was him doing it and now won’t leave her. It’s been a week!”

She was talking about Blake and the fact I hadn’t been the only one living here. He had been too, but he got to hold her hand. He got to be in the same room as her. I was banished to the waiting room.

I hated the way he was with her. Hated it more when I realized she was dreaming about him, well, not dreaming, reliving memories of him.

“I’m busy, Ebony.” I wanted to get back in Allie’s head. At least being in here, alone, let me do that. I could live her every dream or memory.

“No, you aren’t. You’re in a waiting room, Zane.” Ebony looked at me as if I was stupid. “Are you not even caring I’ve lost my mate?”

“I told you he was a threat,” I grumbled. She wouldn’t believe me when I had said, but his feelings for Allie ran deep. “He loves her.”

“He is meant to love me more.”

“He is still getting to know you. He has known her his whole life.”

“You seem very calm about this?” Ebony’s voice went up. “Why aren’t you doing something about it?!”

“Because he could be right. He could be making her heal and if that is the case, I want him there because as soon as she wakes up, she is mine.”

“That’s if she doesn’t jump my mate,” Ebony snapped. “I always knew there was a reason why I hated her.”

“Leave, Ebony, before you say something else.” I knew her. She didn’t stop with one insult. She wanted to tear limbs off Allie for having her mate’s attention.

“He won’t let me back in. Said I was in the way.” She crossed her arms.

“When did he tell you that?”

“Days ago, so I left. I thought it was a temporary thing. It wasn’t until I came back today, to see if he was thinking clearly again, but he isn’t. Still high on the thought he is helping Allie.”

“Go home then.”

“I am. I wanted to know if you wanted to come?” She gave me a look I had seen before. It was her ‘I want to fuck you’ face. Normally I wouldn’t turn her down. That was before I admitted to how I really felt about Allie. Now, not even Ebony could have me turning away from Allie.

“Not interested.”

She scoffed, “First my mate and now you.”

“You just want to fuck me to piss your mate off to get his attention.” I looked her hard in the eye. “Go find someone else.”

“Fine.” She got up. “I will.” And stormed off.

Good. I could go back to Allie. I reached out for her and found her easily.

Why would he do that to me? I don’t get him. I hate this. I hate him more. No, that’s a lie. I’m in love with him. Zane Harris will be the death of me.

She reached out for a shot.

Ok, backup plan. He doesn’t want me. What do I do? Run? Leave him behind? I could. He will treat me hot and cold for another two years, then I could leave. He won’t want me then like he doesn’t want me now.

Could I survive another two years of dealing with him? I barely survived this year. I told him I loved him. That wasn’t enough. He doesn’t want me. And I won’t be some, thing, he has to put up with.

He doesn’t want me, fine. I’ll leave. He will be glad to see the back of me.

She pushed herself away from the bar and got up.

Why does the thought of never seeing him again, hurt so bloody much? Why can’t he just love me back?

Alpha Harris could release me early. He doesn’t want me near Zane. He doesn’t want me as his son’s mate. He would release me, and I could go.

Leave.

Zane.

Mom.

Dad.

Jace.

School.

Everything behind.

Leaving Zane, could I do that? Why did my heart have to clench like that? Why did it have to hurt so much?

Ok, think, Allie. You love him. He doesn’t love you. I loved him enough to let him go. That’s what he wanted, wasn’t it? For me to let him go?

Her hand nervously opened the car door.

I could do that. I could let go of him, for him. Alpha Harris would release me. Zane could go back to his women and do whatever he wants, and I could… what? Live the rest of my life with a hole in my heart?

Well, there was no other option. That was what I was faced with.

She put the car in drive.

Tomorrow I’ll let him go. I’ll ask Alpha Harris to release me. I’ll leave. Zane wants that, but I don’t want that. ZANE WANTS THAT.

I wished I could just stop it. Stop everything. Stop the feelings. Stop the longing. Stop having to face a future without him. I just want it all to stop!

She looked at the dash, she was speeding.

He doesn’t want me. I won’t hang around being unwanted.

He doesn’t want me. She clenched her eyes shut for a second, tears running down her face. I’ll let him go.

I should have never come back to the pack to begin with.

Stupid, Allie! Thinking with my heart, not my head.

My wolf had been numbed, and that wasn’t nearly as painful as the thought of facing a world without Zane, but I would do it. He didn’t love me. Nothing I could do would change his mind. Hadn’t I done everything to try and show him that I was ready to commit?

He didn’t want that.

She wiped tears away.

Leaving is the best option. I won’t even say goodbye to him. He wouldn’t want that anyway.

It was a simple fact, Zane hadn’t said no, but how he had treated me, was telling me it was a hell no. So, you don’t wait around to be dumped again, Allie. You leave.

She turned her head and headlights were coming at her.

Her mind went blank.

She was leaving?

That was right before the accident she had decided she was leaving. No wonder she wasn’t waking up, because she was only doing what she had planned; leaving me, although this way she was planning on dying.

I was up and out of my chair in a second. How was I going to get her to wake up?

I had caused this. All of this.

I walked up the hall, and my luck would have to be good because Blake was talking to one of the doctors at the nurses’ station which meant no-one was with Allie.

I knew which room was hers by the pull to her.

I opened the door, and there she was. Lying still. In the middle of the bed.

I walked to her side, taking the seat that Blake had obviously pulled to her side.

Her hand was cold as I took it which was odd because we normally always ran hot, but when it came to Allie, she never did what was normal.

Her black hair was framing her face. Blake had tucked it behind her ears. The piercing in her ear was coming out as soon as she woke up.

And she was giving up smoking.

I had her now. I was alone with her, and I had never felt so bloody nervous.

I could tell the way she was reliving memories she knew who was in the room which was why most of the memories she was reliving were of Blake and Chase.

That was the first one she’d had of me, and it gave me insight into what she was thinking before the accident. I had caused it, like I guessed, but her leaving. Did she really think I would let that happen?

But if she had gone to my dad behind my back, he would have released her. She would have left, and one day I would wake up to find out the person I loved the most was gone because I was a selfish prick that didn’t see what he had.

Allie was offering me her whole heart. The rest of her life and I had turned her down.

Dickhead. I was a dickhead.

I had her now so I could tell her how I felt. She could hear me.

I got up, still holding her hand, feeling incredibly nervous.

I lowered my mouth to her ear. “Don’t leave, Allie. Please don’t leave me.” If she knew she had me begging, she would laugh at me, but I would beg. I would do anything to keep her.

She didn’t want to face a future without me. Dying would ensure she wouldn’t.

“I’m a selfish jerk, Allie, and you have to hear me when I say I love you more than anything, so please don’t leave me.” I kissed her cheek. “Don’t leave me.”

I reached into her mind, but it was blank. She wasn’t dreaming. She was thinking. She wasn’t reliving memories.

“What are you doing in here?”

I turned to look at Blake. “She’s my mate, and I’m not leaving her.”

“Well, go back to the waiting room then because being in here could screw everything up!”

“No.” I let go of her hand and walked towards him. “I’m done letting you be with her. She’s my mate. I know she wants me. She might have thought I didn’t want her, but she was wrong, so maybe you should go and see Ebony because I’m not leaving.”

He looked at me smugly. “Has she been dreaming of me?”

How the hell would he know that? He couldn’t read her mind like I could. “No.” I lied.

“Funny, because I’ve been telling her story after story, and I have a strong feeling she is listening to me. I told her, and now I’ll tell you,” he took a step closer to me, “I’m taking her back.”

“You can’t have her, you have a mate!”

“Allie and I made a promise a long time ago we wouldn’t let mates get in the way of us. I’ve been reminding her of that.”

“So, what about Ebony?”

“I need Ebony, but I want Allie.”

“So, you are going to play both?” Like I was going to let that happen!

“No. I can still turn my back on Ebony. We might have mated, but that doesn’t mean I can’t distance myself from her. Like I said. I made a promise to Allie.”

“Yeah, you’re never letting mates get in the way of your two’s relationship. Yeah, I know all about it, but that was before.”

“So, she has been dreaming of me.” He grinned. “Knew she was listening, and I’m guessing before you realized you wanted her, right?”

“Fucking hell. She’s mine, and when she wakes up, I’m going to make sure the only person she wants is me.”

“And how are you going to do that, Harris? You’ve treated her like dirt, playing her hot and cold. Leaving her. Killing her wolf. Now suddenly she is to forget that and just be with you? No way you even have enough charm to pull that shit off.”

“Allie wants me.”

“Allie wanted me!” His fists curled at his side. “And I let you and Ebony get in the way of that, but I’m stopping that now. She said I would always have her heart and I’m going to make sure she remembers that.”

“Fine, she can pick.” I crossed my arms. “When she wakes up, you or me. She can pick.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “I might not be able to promise her everything, but I can promise her more than you. Like getting her out of this town. I can promise that. She never wanted to be stuck here, and that is all you are offering.”

It was a low blow, but he was right. That was all I was offering. A lifetime in this town. Leading the future, but I wasn’t just giving her that, I was giving her my heart, and I hoped that would be enough for her to pick me over him.