Chapter Sixty-three

ZANE

I couldn’t feel her. Couldn’t reach out to her. Couldn’t feel if she was close or not. It was doing my fucking head in. I didn’t know if she was here or not. We hadn’t had any classes together this morning.

I had hovered near her locker, but she didn’t show. I had searched the grounds mentally for her, but I couldn’t feel her. All I could feel was a headache every time I reached for her. I still had a headache. I didn’t know if it was from her, or if I had one because I went on a bender with Taylor as soon as she left.

It wasn’t a sex bender, it was a drinking bender, and like the best mate Taylor always was, he was there for me. He didn’t even judge me when I said I marked Allie. I didn’t tell him though she marked me.

So, I was sitting at the back of the class with Ebony and Taylor in Math. Waiting. Waiting for her to show up.

The bell rang, and she hadn’t entered.

She hadn’t skipped the day, had she? Had she done that to avoid me? I attempted to reach into her mind again, but again, my headache just got worse. Why the hell did I drink so much yesterday?

The door slid open and in walked Blake.

He was the last person to be with her. He would know where she was. Normally those two were glued together at school.

Well, when he wasn’t with Ebony.

And since their fight, he was staying clear of Ebony.

Which was really pissing her off. She had gone into details about it this morning.

“Falcon.” I sat up in the chair and called out to him as he took the desk in front of ours.

“What, Harris?” He didn’t look back at me.

“Where’s Allie?” Surely, he wouldn’t be a dick about it. He would tell me if she was here or not. Maybe she was just avoiding this class because I was in it.

Maybe she was just avoiding me altogether.

Blake turned in his seat with a smug look on his face. “Last time I saw her, she was in my bed.”

Anger. Complete. All-consuming anger. That’s what I felt hearing that. I told her not to get in his bed. Had I not made myself clear to her? Our fight was over just that! Her being in his bed!

“She isn’t,” Ebony snapped at my side. “So stop lying, Blake.”

“How would you know?” Blake looked at her with disgust.

“Because I went to your house this morning and your room was empty, and I didn’t pick up on her scent so stop lying.” Ebony sounded more pissed off that he was lying than at the fact he was saying he shared a bed with another woman. I guess he was lying, so she didn’t need to get upset about it.

“Stay out of my house!” Blake glared at her. “You aren’t welcome.”

Ebony’s temper snapped, and she said laying into him all the reasons why she was allowed in his house.

I got up, not needing to listen to their fight.

“Where are you going?” Ebony asked as I collected my shit.

“Leaving. I’ll see you guys later.” I left them. Allie wasn’t here, and she wasn’t with Blake which meant she had to be at her house.

I didn’t listen to the teacher as I walked out. All I cared about was finding Allie and fixing the damage I had done. I thought she was avoiding me. Clearly, she hadn’t shown up today because she was.

She should know by now I wasn’t letting her go that easily.

 

***

I knocked on their front door. I had been so impatient to get here, I ended up speeding, ignoring all dad’s warnings that he would take my car off me if I got caught speeding again. I waited what felt like a lifetime for someone to answer the door. I heard footsteps on the other side of the door just before it opened.

“Oh hi, Zane.” Allie’s mom smiled.

“Is Allie home?” It really bothered me right now that she wasn’t back living at the pack house. At least there I could just barge into her room and see her. Here I had to play nice to get to see her.

Also at the pack house, I would know if she was there or not. Hell, I would have known this morning where she was, then I wouldn’t have been worrying if she was with Blake or not.

“She is,” Allie’s mom answered and frowned. “But I don’t think now is the best time for you to see her.”

I wanted to groan. This was another reason I hated her not living at the pack house.

“I need to see her,” I gritted out, doing my best to sound friendly and non-threatening. “Please.”

“She’s not well.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

I would know if she was sick. I would have felt it.

“She only finally got to sleep. I don’t want to wake her.” Allie’s mom sounded more like a mother right now than she usually did. Normally, she would just step aside and not care.

She lived to please dad, and I was guessing she would follow me the same when I took over but, right now, she had her mind set on Allie sleeping.

“I won’t wake her.” I wanted to add all the reasons why I wouldn’t want to wake her, especially if she was sick, but I didn’t. “I promise.”

She frowned. “Allie said not to let you inside if you came.”

And there was the reason why she was being so firm. Allie had asked something of her. Allie never asked anything of her.

“I promise, Miss Winters. I won’t wake her, and she is asleep, so she won’t know you let me in.” Please, just let me see her!

She sighed. “Ok but only because I saw the mark on her neck.” She opened the door for me.

I exhaled slowly. Thank fuck for that. I wasn’t sure I would be able to convince her to change her mind and let me see Allie. My mark on her was already the best thing I ever did.

“You know what room is hers, right?” Allie’s mom asked, closing the front door after me.

“Yep.” I was already walking up the staircase. I had gone a day and a half without seeing her, and it felt like a bloody lifetime. Nothing I had experienced came close to the torture I felt being away from her now she was marked.

I opened her door quietly and saw her.

Taking a deep breath.

God, she was beautiful.

I closed the door. Her scent hit me hard and fast. Her room engulfing me.

I kicked off my shoes and slowly laid down on the bed beside her. My arm automatically going around her, pulling her back to my chest. My headache was finally easing, and I didn’t know if it was because I had Allie back or if I had finally drunk enough water for it to go.

Either way, it was lifting, and I could finally reach into her. She had the cutest frown on her face, and I wanted to know what she was dreaming about. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to get inside her mind until I was given the opportunity.

Why was he calling me? Did he not get the point where I said we needed a break? Friendship. That was what our relationship was going to be. Sure, we never really did friends. Maybe when we were kids, but as soon as we got hormones and he found me attractive I couldn’t stop him.

I ignored his call. When he burst through my bedroom door!

“Blake, what are you doing here!”

“You’ve been ignoring my calls.”

“I saw you last night? What could be so important you have to see me today? We have school in like a few hours. Couldn’t it wait until then?”

“No.” He closed my bedroom door. “You and me, we need to talk.”

“I told you last night I can’t be that girl anymore. I can’t have that friendship with you anymore.”

“Because of him!”

“Because I love him, and it would kill me if he was doing that to me. Having that sort of relationship with Ebony or another woman!”

Blake moved across the room until he was standing in front of her. “You said you hadn’t made your mind up about leaving even though he had marked you, right?”

“Yes, it will kill me to do it, but I still think I should go.”

“Well, I’m coming with you.”

“NO!”

“Allie, hear me when I say it. We both have mates we want to forget, and I’m leaving when you are. You always planned on Europe, well, I’m coming.”

Allie's hand went to her temples. “I can’t have this conversation right now.”

“Your head still aching?” Blake’s voice was softer, and he lowered himself down in front of her. “Have you taken anything for it?”

“No, it went away when I was with Zane, and now it’s back, and nothing is touching it.”

A sour expression captured his face. “You should stay home for the day. Don’t come to school.”

“I have to. If I don’t, Zane will think I’m avoiding him.”

“Zane can fuck off. Put yourself first, Allie! You need to rest.”

She started nodding her head. “Yeah, I guess you are right.”

“I know you turned me down last night, but I’m not taking it personally.” He smiled, and his hand went to cup her face. “Cause I know you aren’t thinking clearly right now.”

“Blake, I meant it when I said our unhealthy friendship is at an end. I’m not leaving with you.”

“So, you’re staying here then? With me?” he challenged her.

“No.” She pursed her lips.

“Like I said, I’m coming. If you are running from him, I’m coming.”

“I can’t, no, I can never love you like I love him. Do you get that?”

“I don’t care.” Blake leaned forward and planted a kiss on her lips. “I know you love me as much as you can, and I’ll settle for that.”

“I still don’t know if I can do that. Leave him. I don’t think I can do it.” She started shaking her head getting nervous. “Even though everything is telling me to run, I don’t want to.”

“Sleep today. Think about it. I’ll come back tonight, and we can talk.” He kissed her forehead. “Just rest today, and don’t make your headache worse by dwelling on it.”

She sighed. “Ok.”

My mind snapped from hers. Her words. It’s made what I do next a hell of a lot easier repeated in my head. That’s what she said before she left me. Fuck. She was still thinking of leaving me.

All over him!

All because I said one thing, she then thinks that the solution is to go! To run from me. Didn’t she know how she had me? All of me. Forever.

She had my mark on her neck. There was only one woman I was going to care about for the rest of my life, and that was her.

My heart started aching just at the thought of not seeing her again.

I wouldn’t let that happen.

“Allie?” I whispered in her ear. I knew waking her up was selfish. I also knew I promised I wouldn’t do it, but I had to talk to her. I couldn’t let her keep planning about leaving me in her sleep.

She stirred.

“Allie?”

“Blake?” she mumbled and that immediately pissed me off.

“No, Allie. It’s Zane.”

Her eyes fluttered open, and she frowned, still waking up. She twisted on my arm. Her hand going to my face as if testing to see if I was real.

“Zane.” She frowned. “Why are you here?”

I answered her question by kissing her lips, and I had planned on pulling back but I couldn’t. Not once I got a taste of her. I was a dead man, and I was stupid to think I could just kiss her without wanting more.

Her lips were still against mine at first and I knew after that memory of this morning she just relived she was fighting me.

‘Come on, sweetheart, kiss me back,’ I said into her mind.

She was still waking up. I reached into her mind needing to know what she was thinking.

Don’t do it. Do not kiss him back. He was the one thinking I would sleep with Blake after being with him. Like I would want Blake after being with him. Nope. Don’t kiss him. I should get away from him.

I can’t think with his mouth on mine. God, and his hand on me. Did he know what he did to me? Did he know he made thinking impossible? Because that’s what he was doing. Making it impossible to think!

Ok. Facts. He thinks I’m a common slut. Fact. I love him. Fact. This is going to end terribly and with my heart broken. Fact. Push him away!

Her hands gripped my shoulders, and I thought she was going to.

But I love him, and haven’t stopped thinking about him since I left him. God, I need him. Fuck it, just kiss him back.

I grinned as soon as I heard her think it and, within a second, her lips were kissing mine, and instead of pushing me away, she pulled me down closer to her.

Her hands started to push up my shirt, and I knew I would have to be the one to bring us back to reality even though I had started it.

I pulled back from her. We needed to talk and, if I let this go any further, we wouldn’t be talking and, by her thoughts, talking was the last thing she wanted to do.

“Allie, we need to talk,” I said, unsteady after just getting an overdose of her. “About you leaving with Blake. We need to talk about that.”

She opened her eyes up. “Did he tell you that?”

I shook my head.

She rolled her eyes. “I told you, didn’t I?”

I nodded my head and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Why do you feel like you have to run?” More importantly, why did she want to leave me? Hadn’t I proven to her I wanted her? I wasn’t turning my back on her. I’m not changing my mind.

Her.

That was all I wanted.

Just her.

‘I’m not going.’ Her voice floated into my head, and my eyes widened. She was in my head! Did she hear what I was thinking a second ago? She never reached out for me. I always reached out for her.

Still, I had nothing to hide.

She said she wasn’t leaving, but she sounded so set on the idea this morning with Blake. What really pissed me off was him wanting to run away with her. Stealing my mate. Taking her away from me. I wanted to kill him.

‘No-one is taking me away from you.’ Her voice was the only calmness in my head right now.

I still wanted to kill him. Maybe that could be my first order when I take over Alpha. I couldn’t kill him, but I could forbid him from speaking to her.

My word was law, and he would have to follow it. Or leave. Yeah. He could leave. Without my mate.

‘Zane. Stop it.’ She was in my head again. I looked down at her. She was smiling. So sweetly.

“You really aren’t leaving?” I said to her. “Because I can’t just wake up one morning and find you gone.”

That would kill me. Literally.

“I already decided this afternoon I wasn’t leaving.” She leaned up and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. “Before your dad came and saw me.”

“What?” Why the hell did he come here!

“Don’t go into panic mode.” She frowned. “Your face is telling me you are panicking.”

“Did he scare you off? Is he the one that made you want to leave?” My father and his stupid fucking rules.

“No, I decided I wasn’t leaving before he came.”

“And what? He threatened you?” I told him Allie was off limits. She was mine. I would handle her progress back into the pack. She wasn’t his concern. “He made you want to go, didn’t he?”

“No. God, you are really jumping to conclusions.” She smiled. “Ryder told him about us.” She frowned. “Not that I’m sure if there is an us.”

“There is an us.” Her and me. That was it. Us. We were a couple. She did realize that, didn’t she? God, I just marked her, she didn’t need me to make it clear she was my girlfriend. Heck, she was a hell of a lot more than a girlfriend.

Me marking her meant I was hers. Her marking me meant she was mine. We were past simply being a couple.

She frowned again. “Still not sure about that, but anyway, Ryder told him, and he also heard I had the day off school so he came around.”

My eyes hardened. “To tell you off? To threaten you? To list all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together?” God, I had heard the reasons. The reasons were the source of my pain. When Allie said she wasn’t fighting it anymore, the reasons were why I didn’t make a move on her.

It was when she had the accident that I realized I didn’t give a fuck what dad thought, or what was best for the pack. All I cared about was her, and it took me too bloody long to figure that out.

“No, to offer his support.”

I frowned at her. That wasn’t possible. I shook my head. “No way.”

“He did! He was really kind and nice. I totally wasn’t expecting it.” She put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me over, rolling us, so she was on top straddling me. “He had a feeling I was going to ask to be released.”

I groaned. “And he released you, didn’t he?”

She laughed. “You really aren’t thinking much of him right now, are you?”

“I know him.”

“He made some excellent points, but he asked me a question I didn’t have an answer for. I told him to ask you.” She looked guilty.

“What was the question?”

“If this was a fling or something serious because if it is serious, he wants to get involved, but if it is a fling and we are going to, well, do what Blake and Ebony do, then he thinks we should let it play its course until we either kill each other or separate, or he’ll release me.”

“It’s serious.”

She rolled her eyes. “You could at least think about it some more before you give an answer.”

I locked my hands with hers. “It’s serious.”

She started chewing her bottom lip. “You sure about that?”

“I marked you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but you could have just done that because you were overwhelmed with the thought of having sex with your mate.”

“Is that why you did it?”

“No.”

“Good.” I pulled on her hands, forcing her to come down so I could kiss her lips. I made sure to pull back just before the need of her overpowered me. “So, we are serious?”

“Is that really what you want? We barely had a conversation before this. You don’t even really know me.” She took an uneasy breath in. “Maybe we should try and be friends.”

“Skipped friends.”

“Dating then?”

“Skipped that.”

She sighed. “Well, what do you think we should do?”

“I think we should just be what we are.” I rolled her over, her legs wrapped around me. “Mates.” I kissed her neck. “Which means I can be with you, I can touch you whenever I want, in front of whoever I want, and I can fuck you whenever I feel like it.”

She giggled, and her hands cupped my face, bringing it to hers. “You sure you want that?”

“Fucking right I want that.”

“You won’t be able to just ignore me when you feel like it if we go public?”

When will my past stop haunting me? “I’m never ignoring you again.”

“Good, because I think it’s my turn to ignore you.”

“You are joking, right?” She wouldn’t do that to me, would she?

“Like I could if I wanted to. You know for a fact you run deep in my veins, Zane. I swear you spend more time in my head than you do your own.”

She had a point. “So, mates?” I kissed her mark.

She inhaled sharply, and I could feel her need for me. She was pulling on everything inside me, wanting to please her, needing to please her, but she hadn’t agreed yet.

‘Say yes, sweetheart,’ I said into her mind and slowly licked her mark, knowing how sensitive it was to be touched.

“Yes.”

I smiled and pulled back. “Now that is settled, how’s your headache?”

She frowned. “Gone.”

“So is mine.”

“You’ve had a headache?”

“Yeah, and I’m starting to think it was yours to begin with.” All day I had dealt with this headache, and I should have realized it was hers. It only got worse every time I reached for her.

“Sorry.” She looked extremely guilty. “I don’t know how I feel about you feeling my pain. Or reading my thoughts for that matter.”

“Stop looking so guilty. I don’t mind.” I kissed her forehead. “And I love that I can read your thoughts.”

“Could you read them last night?” She wouldn’t look me in the eye.

“No.” I looked at her a bit longer. There was a reason behind her question. “Should I have been?”

She shook her head. “Nothing you would want to know.” She pushed herself up. Sitting in the middle of the bed.

I knew instantly. “Something happened with him, didn’t it?” There was a reason why he was looking so smug when he looked at me earlier. I thought it was because he had the upper hand again, knowing where she was. It was only now that she asked if I had been in her head, that something was off.

She wasn’t going to tell me.

I reached into her thoughts, only to hear her chanting lyrics over and over. She was doing that on purpose.

“Allie, tell me what happened.”

She groaned. “It’s like you both want me to pick between you!” She dropped back on the bed. “You are both pulling me in opposite directions.”

“So, he wants you to what? Turn your back on me?” I never fucking liked him. Why couldn’t he just focus on his mate!

Allie was covering her face with her hand. “I thought he just wanted me because I was safe. Now I don’t know.”

It was going to kill me to ask, but I knew I had to. “Well, what do you want?” If she really wanted him, I’d somehow… fuck it… there was no way I could let her go.

“He thinks I’m making a mistake with you.” She sat up, sighing. “Like we could never work.”

“That’s what he thinks. What do you think?”

“I think he knows me, and he knows me very well. He is right in saying I’m making a mistake.”

And there was the truth. She saw me as a fucking mistake.

“Because I know you. You mightn’t know me very well, but I know you. I know Zane Harris. You can’t do a commitment like this. I’m setting myself up for heartbreak.” She blew out. “I’m such an idiot.”

My hand went to her face. “I’m not going to hurt you.” I looked into her eyes, seeing her feelings. She really thought I was going to.

“History would tell me otherwise.”

“The past is just that, Allie. I can’t turn back time and make it up to you.” I ran my thumb over her bottom lip. She looked so scared. “But I will try anyway.” Somehow, I’ll make it up to her. Everything I did. I’ll make it up to her.

Her phone started vibrating and she pulled her eyes from mine. She didn’t answer it.

“I guess there is blame on both sides,” she mumbled, rejecting the call. “I did lie to you about getting my memories back.”

“Nah, sweetheart, compared to the shit I’ve put you through, that is nothing.”

Her eyes fluttered back to mine. “You, um, should go.”

“Why?”

“Because Blake is coming. I know him. If I ignore one of his calls, he will be driving here now.” She flicked her phone over. “There is a thing on tonight. He wants to go.”

“What? On a Monday?”

“University pub crawl. They just finished finals.” She sighed. “We normally always go and end up, well ….” She looked at me guiltily, and then looked away. “I guess that won’t be happening this year.”

“Don’t go.” Could I ask that of her? Hell, she could ask me anything, and I would do it.

She pursed her lips. “Ok.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Zane, really.” She rolled her eyes playfully at me. “I really don't feel like hitting the liquor anyway, not after this headache.”

My phone started ringing, and it was Ebony. I ignored it. “Ok well, how about you come to mine at say seven, and we can keep watching Misfits.”

She laughed. “Yeah, I'm sure that's what we will do.”

“Well, I can promise it will be on, but I'm not going to lie and say my attention won’t be on you.” Her naked and in my bed, that’s what I was planning on tonight, and getting to explore every inch of her.

“You should go. Blake’s here.” She pulled away from me.

Didn’t he have a fucking life? School would have just finished, and he was already here.

“So, seven, you and me?” I got up, my hands still locked with hers.

“Yep.” She nodded her head, smiling and moving to the edge of the bed. “Although I doubt we will be watching TV.”

So maybe she did know what I had planned for tonight. I grinned at her. “Guess you’ll have to wait and see.”

“I’ll walk you out and don’t say anything smart to Blake. He is already in a bad mood.” She let me pull her up off the bed.

“That man is always pissed off.”

“Well, I don’t blame him, having Ebony for a mate would be awful.”

“Ebony’s not that bad. I think Blake is the problem.”

Her eyes hardened. “I hate her.”

“I hate Blake.” And that was downplaying it. “I hate how he looks at you. I hate how he wants to run away with you. I hate the relationship you have with him, and hate how he knows you so fucking well.”

She laughed. “Don’t hold back now.”

I stopped her from opening the door. “You and me, at seven. Don’t think about canceling on me.”

She smirked, her hand on the door handle. “Keep speaking like that, and I’ll start to think you are going to be a clingy boyfriend.”

Boyfriend. I pulled on her hand quickly, making her stumble into me. She was shocked for a second before I kissed her.

I was happy to take her back to her bed and finish what she started, in fact, I was already moving her back to the bed when she pushed me away.

“Zane, stop it.” She gave me a look, telling me to just do that. “Blake’s here, and you have to go so what you’re thinking isn’t going to happen.”

I groaned. “Can’t you just tell him to piss off?”

“Nope, because Blake and I have to finish our conversation from this morning. Unless you want me leaving with him?”

No, I fucking didn’t. “Fine, but if he makes one more move on you, I’ll personally re-shape his face.”

She gave me a final kiss. “Tonight at seven. I’m all yours.”

“As of seven, you’re mine for the rest of your life.”

She laughed. “Uhuh.”

“You are.”

“Well, then I guess I should enjoy my last few hours of freedom.” She smiled. “Now you have to leave.” She groaned. “I can already hear Blake getting out.” “One more thing,” she turned to look at me seriously. “I don’t trust people, period, but I am trusting you.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Don’t make me regret it. Hell, everything is telling me not to trust you, but I’m going to anyway.”

She opened the door, walked out, not giving me a chance to say I wouldn’t be breaking her trust. I had to follow her. Come seven I was going to make sure she was all mine. She might have been joking about only having a few hours left of freedom, but I wasn’t. As soon as she handled Blake, she was all mine.

And this trust she just gave me, I wasn’t going to break it.