Derrick

Two months later . . .

“We’ll go over it again when we get home. Don’t worry.”

Looking in the rearview mirror, I see my son in the backseat. He’s in his car seat and worrying about a science project he has due in a few days. Blood types. We’ve been working on it all week. His attitude is better than mine considering he’s in kindergarten. This private school we enrolled him in is way more advanced than the school I went to.

I can hear him singing a song that might be weird to some, but I kind of love. “A plus AB equals me.”

It does.

I could get hung up about losing five years of his life, but I get the distinct pleasure of calling him mine for the rest of it. I can’t turn back time, and sure as shit don’t want to speed it up. I finally feel good, at peace, and since the tour ended, I even miss performing live.

The embrace of my love, my lover, and my forever warms my arm when Jaymes reaches over and rests her hand on my leg. Tom Petty comes on and Jaymes sighs, and starts to change the station, but I stop her. “It’s my favorite song.”

“It’s your theme song. All the girls always felt so special when Derrick Masters used to sing this song in the school parking lot.”

“Is that what you think? Oh baby, you’ve got it all wrong. I only ever sang it for you. You’re my girl. My only girl.”

“Come on. You’re pulling my leg.”

“Nope. Full truth. I never sang it for anyone else.”

“In that case.” Leaning back in the seat, she turns the song up and we sing it together.

When we round the corner to my mother’s house, I say, “Ace, remember what we talked about?”

“About the surprise for Mommy?”

I glare into the rearview mirror. “Nooooo. I meant you being on your best behavior. CJ said you took his drumsticks last time and wouldn’t give them back. You know how attached he is to them.”

Ace’s face scrunches in annoyance. “Yeah. Whatever.”

“Not whatever, buddy. Don’t take them this time. Don’t even touch them.”

“But I want to play the drums. It’s not fair he gets to.”

My eyes flash to Jaymes. Our minds in sync. In a much calmer voice than I’ll be able to put on, she asks, “Buddy, don’t you want to play guitar? Daddy’s been teaching you, and you play so well.” She pats my leg.

“No. I want drums.”

Damn. “Why do all kids want drums?” I ask rhetorically.

She answers with a laugh, “Because they get to bang on them. Don’t worry, he’ll come back around.”

“Let’s hope. I’m really not wanting to lose street cred by raising a drummer.”

That makes her laugh harder. “I think your Hollywood Hills street cred is safe.”

---

We’re late, but we’re the guests of honor so everyone lets it slide. My mom is the first to hug me . . . after she hugs Ace and Jaymes. I’ve been relegated to third in the lineup. But third place to them is a beautiful place to be.

The wedding celebration is in full swing and Lara has given us the tour of my mom’s newly furnished home, and this time no one’s in a hurry to leave. She’s got a new roommate. Jaymes’s mom moved in a month ago. They have so much fun together.

The band is here, their families, Leah and Jose from the dealership, too. I turn him down on a “Cherry-red Ford Minivan with only 70,000 miles on it,” but I like his determination. He got me once. Not going for another. I found out later that Kaz got suckered into a lime-green 2006 VW Beetle that Lara fell in love with for tootling around on the weekends. Kaz was not amused by the car or the tootling part, but he bought it anyway. For her. Apparently. But thanks to Jose, I’ve been given a whole lot of teasing material.

I come in from outside and see Jaymes talking to Katerina, Kaz’s sister. Swerving left into the kitchen, I’m caught before I have a chance to duck behind the counter. “Derrick?”

I pop up above the deviled eggs with a plastered smile on my face. “Yes, dear?”

Her head tilts and a hand goes to the hip. Busted. “Come over.”

Deadman walking. I make my way over with a deviled egg in each hand and pop one in my mouth, hoping to not have to talk much, or avoid it altogether.

Katerina laughs. It’s not her fault. Well, it kind of mostly is, but what’s a guy to say to a hot chick dragging you to bed? Exactly. She says, “Jaymes is lovely. Congratulations on the marriage.”

With a full mouth, I nod. Jaymes thanks her and then says, “Katerina tells me you two used to date.”

Egg bits fly from my mouth . . . oh wait, did she say date or fuck? The relish in this egg is crunchy. “Derrick! Gross,” Jaymes exclaims stepping back, making sure none landed on her.

Katerina’s laughing, but all in good fun. “Relax, she knows, but I told her that you always only had a heart for one woman—her.” Turning to Jaymes, she adds, “I never stood a chance, but life works in mysterious ways. I met someone recently that I’m quite intrigued by. Kaz will scare him off soon enough so I’m keeping him a secret.” She moves to leave. “Congratulations again. I’m truly happy for you both.”

Jaymes turns my way, with questions in her eyes, so I go ahead and spew it, not the egg, “That’s another story from the past that doesn’t need to be dredged up. My favorite story is ours. Deviled egg?”

Lifting up, she kisses my cheek. “No, it’s all yours. Just like me. Now about that surprise Ace spilled the beans over.” She waits expectantly.

I kiss her cheek this time. “Give me a few minutes. I’ll be right back.”

Heading to the guest bedroom, I find the guitar where my mom hid it for me. I double-check that the scratches are gone and strum a few times to tune it again. I want it to be perfect, like her. Something about this guitar—it’s resilient, like her . . .

“Come on, Tank,” I haggle. “You know this is for Jaymes. It’s something good when she’s been through so much bad. Cut me a deal.”

“This might have worked on me once when you were a scrawny-ass punk, but now you’re a freaking man. No deals today.”

“That’s a lie. I was never scrawny.” I slap five big bills down on the counter. “She’s worth it.”

He shakes my hand. “It’s a pleasure doing business with you. And take my advice, learn to play the drums. Chicks dig it.”

“I think I’m doing all right in that department.”

“You’ve made us proud, man.”

He hands me the guitar just as some teenager walks in. “Oh man, you sold it, Tank? I got the two hundred you wanted and everything.”

I send darts with my glare to Tank. “You overcharged me?” Covering my heart, I say, “I thought you loved me, man.”

“I do. I just love a sucker and his money. Deal’s done, sucker.”

Laughing, I look back to the kid, and then behind the pawnshop counter at the last guitar hanging there. “It’s not acoustic like this one, but it’s a nice electric.”

“That’s three hundred. I can’t afford that one. It took me two months to save up for this one.”

“Solid fretboard from what I can see. You play?”

“I play. You?”

“Dabble.” Tank chuckles. I add, “What’s your favorite band?”

“Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. He’s the best.”

Smiling, I say, “Get ’im the guitar, Tank. On me.”

“No way!” The kid runs to the counter with his hands out as Tank passes it over. “No freaking way.” Looking at me with his mouth open, he says, “Thanks. This is the best gift ever. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Just keep playing and don’t ever let anyone stop you from dreaming.”

“I won’t. Thanks, mister.”

The music softly playing in the background is familiar. It’s a song I play every time I play live. “Hey, turn it up, Tank,” I say, walking to the door. He obliges with a knowing nod.

I overhear the kid say, “That band sucks,” and laugh while pushing through the door. Shrugging, I know—can’t please everyone.

. . . I cover Jaymes’s eyes hoping to please her. We walk forward until she’s positioned right where I want her. When I remove my hands, her mouth drops open and she runs to Ace. “Oh my God. How did you get this?” She immediately puts the strap over her head and starts to strum as if it’s second nature. “Ace? Where did this come from?”

“Daddy.”

Everyone turns toward me. Yup, they know I’m Ace’s dad, but this just might be the first time they’ve witnessed him calling me one of the two best names in the world—Daddy and husband. Rebel can fuck right off. Although, even that name has been tempered a bit. It’s a remnant of a past life, but one that led me here. My own personal rebellion that turned into a transformation. So maybe it doesn’t need to fuck off. Maybe I just need to see how it fits into my life now.

Jaymes comes to me. “How did you find it?”

“I went to the most obvious place. Tank’s Pawnshop.”

Her smile is prettier than blue skies and sunshine, and better than a stadium full of screaming fans any day. Okay, not better, okay, yes, better. For sure better. I do miss the chant of my name sometimes. Maybe she’ll do it for me later. “Thank you.” With the guitar between us, I bend down and kiss her. “I didn’t get you a wedding gift.”

“Are you kidding me? You made me a dad. Best gift ever. Hey Ace, c’mere.” Ace runs over and I lift him up into my arms. “I got you something too, buddy.” The troublesome twosome and mischievous matchmakers themselves, the grandmas, come outside carrying a big box. It’s wiggling and eventually barks and pushes the open flap back and pops it’s head up. Ace screams, “A puppy.”

The kid’s got some vocals. Maybe we should get him singing lessons. Beats drums. The golden lab puppy was too cute to pass up outside of the grocery store, crying in that box to get out. They had five in the litter and we got the last one. He was the runt, but I don’t see it. He’s a big puppy. “What should we name him, buddy?” Ace is on the ground with the dog, who is currently licking the crumbs from his face.

Ace looks up as if he’s known the answer his whole life. “Rebel, like your back.”

My brow furrows as I process what he just said. I glance to Jaymes who’s about to tell him to pick something else, but I stop her. I wasn’t exactly thinking this was how the name would fit into our lives, but the more I think about it, the more I like it. “I think that’s a great name, son.”

Ace smiles, and then pets Rebel.

Jaymes leans on my shoulder, and says, “Well, that’s one way to turn it into something good.”

Something good. A stupid tattoo doesn’t define me. It came close, but it’s not me. I’m the dad in the pickup line on the mornings when my wife stays up studying too late. I’m the guy who now buys tampons because my wife promised me sexual favors in return. I’d do it anyway, but I’m not going to say no to sex with my wife. Have you seen her?

Damn luckiest guy in the world. I wrap my arms around her shoulders and hold her to me. She whispers, “How do you like being a dad?”

“It’s the best.” Kaz hands me a beer and we tap our bottles together and drink.

Jaymes asks, “How do you feel about two?”

Two minutes later I’m still cleaning the beer I spewed on Kaz and Lara. “I’m sorry,” I say, laughing.

Jaymes is laughing harder. I toss them a roll of paper towels and turn to take my wife off to the side. Once we’re alone, I ask, “Are you pregnant?”

“I am.”

Sweet pink cheeks, bright green eyes. My heart skips a beat just looking at her. Grabbing her into my arms, I hold her. The guitar on her back makes it a little awkward, but we manage. “I thought I was lucky before, but you just topped that.”

“I was thinking you might want to name the baby.”

“Oh man, too bad Rebel is taken by the dog.”

“Your sarcasm is duly noted.”

Laughing, I reply, “Good to know.” With my arm around my wife, we start walking back toward the other guests. “So how do you feel about Spade?”

“Ha. Ha. Very funny.”

“In all seriousness, I think we should wait to see what the baby looks like.”

She stops in her tracks. “Then they’d all be named Winston or Maude.”

“I think we’ve got time.”

“We do have time on our side.”

Before we get too far into the party again, Rochelle pulls us aside. “How does your schedule look next week for lunch?”

I cross my arms over my chest and shrug. “Good.”

“I meant Jaymes. I want to go over the contract for the song and do a test recording.”

“Wow, it’s moving fast.”

“The guys are off to Australia in a few weeks. If we’re incorporating the song, we’ve got to get the legal stuff handled.”

Jaymes looks to me. “It’s your song. What do you think?”

“It’s your song. It was a gift for your birthday. Anyway, it was always written for you to sing. I’ve seen the contract. It’s a good deal.”

Turning back to Rochelle, she says, “Tuesday works.”

They hug and Rochelle says, “Get ready for the time of your life.”

“Wait, it’s only one song, right?”

She shrugs. “Guess we’ll see.”

Later, we leave a party of guests who were yo-yoing for prizes, but I had to steal my family away. I have more up my sleeve and it’s late afternoon. I watch the sky turn from blue to orange then pinks and yellows as I drive. Ace says, “It looks like the sky is on fire,” right before he’s giggling from puppy kisses.

The setting sun is getting lower and radiates beauty from its core. Reaching over, I hold Jaymes’s hand, never happier than this moment right here. She asks, “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

She does soon enough, and a smile rivaling the sun shines, and she gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “I haven’t been here in years. Not since I was here with you. Is that why you bought this truck from Jose?”

“I needed a truck bed.”

Our hands rest in Ace’s lap, who’s situated between us on the bench seat, and he couldn’t be more pleased. The puppy sticks his head out the window and my raven-haired beauty smiles into the wind. I park in our old spot and we pile out. In the back, I take off the tarp and straighten the pillows. Chase and Jaymes are chasing the puppy. I bring out her guitar and set it next to mine before I climb up. Ace runs in the grassy area while Jaymes leans against the side of the truck. She’s smiling when she says, “We could be arrested for trespassing.”

Hopping down over the side, I land next to her. After a swift kiss, I waggle my eyebrows. “That’s what makes coming up to the Observatory fun.” I paid the guard off last night when I said I was going out for ice cream. I brought her three flavors home and she never asked why I was gone so long. Trust is good like that, or maybe she’s onto me. Either way, it worked out.

I lift her up into the back of the truck and then chase the puppy and then Ace until he lets me catch him and set him up there too. I hop back up and take my guitar in hand. Ace has a kid’s guitar now and is getting pretty decent. For a five-year-old. By fifteen, those wrong chords aren’t gonna fly in our house. I start to rethink my stance on that as I strum. I’d rather him play guitar than drums though, so I guess I need to learn patience. He’ll get there one way or another, just like his dad. I’m just glad he doesn’t have to spend fifteen years fighting his way out like I did. He’s slept soundly through the night since we told him the mean man died and that he’ll never come around again. He’ll never have to be scared again, especially not with me around. I’ll always protect my family.

Rebel settles down on one of the pillows and the three of us play a song together. Eventually, Jaymes cuddles with Ace and they watch me play another. When I finish, Jaymes says, “I notice when you’re home for more than a few weeks, you start missing the stage and the fans. Your name being screamed—”

“And the pulse,” I add. “But I miss you guys more when I’m away.”

“We can’t chant your name here or we might get caught, but know we’re always cheering for you, even when you can’t hear us.”

She looks to Ace and it seems they are in on a plan together. With their hands fisted, they start whisper chanting, “Derrick. Daddy. Derrick. Daddy.”

I have to admit, this beats any concert I’ve ever played.

Best fans ever.

Lying down, I rest my head on her lap next to Ace who is sprawled out the other way. We don’t get many clear nights here, but tonight, as if it heard my wish, we can see beyond the universe. I’m about to point out the constellations, but when her fingers run mindlessly through my hair, she whispers, “Derrick and Jaymes.”

“Forever destined to be together.”