Jaymes

When I come out of the spa treatment room, I’m led to the lounge with the hot tubs and these cool room experiences like a salt room and a chilled room. I’m also handed a cup of coconut water on the way. It’s so decadent here, I wish I had more time.

In the hot tub room, I spot a familiar face. “Rochelle, hi. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yes, Holli and I snuck away since the guys have the kids with them.”

Dropping my robe on a lounge chair, I step into the large whirlpool. “Derrick has Ace.”

“Yes, I saw them on their way out. Jamie, this is Holli Hughes.”

The woman with Rochelle swims a little closer with a smile. “Dalton. I did change it, but I go by Hughes. I’ve heard about you.”

“Oh really?”

“You’re prettier than they let on and they said you were gorgeous.”

Touching my hands to my cheeks, I remark, “I probably have marks on my face from the massage and look awful, but thanks. You’re with Johnny, right?”

“Yes.” The smile on her face says it all. She knows how much she’s loved. “How’s being out on the road treating you? Or more importantly, how’s Derrick treating you?”

My face heats and I try to play it off like it’s the steamy room, most likely to no avail.

“He’s good . . . We’re good,” I reply shyly. “It’s moving fast, but it’s good. We have a million things to talk about and not enough time it seems.”

Rochelle says, “Well, he’s so smitten that I think you’ll have years to come. Not to be nosy, but how are you feeling about things? The crazy that surrounds the band can be overwhelming.”

“I don’t know how you guys do it. I just had a small taste last night and I’m amazed by how well Derrick handles all the attention.”

Holli leans back, resting her arms on the side and kicks her feet up. “It comes with the job. They know that, but there’s an aspect, their egos, that thrive on it too. Derrick’s really come into his own in the last year. I think he struggled the first year, but he understands what they trade to be at the level they’re at.”

“What about you?” I ask.

“I owe nothing to the public because of the band. I don’t owe them photos of my family or personal memorabilia. I share what I want, but I control it. I have to. No one will protect my family like I will. That goes for Dalton as well. If he’s on that stage, he’s fair game. When he’s home, he’s mine.”

Rochelle is nodding, and adds, “You have a child to protect. You don’t owe the press any answers when it comes to Ace. If they ask about Derrick, that’s up to you what you share.” I hadn’t thought about that. It must have been hard when Rochelle first started dating Dex. How fortunate am I to have someone to help me feel the way?

“There is more to think about than I thought.”

Climbing out, Rochelle wraps a towel around her and sits on the edge with her feet in the water. “We’re not trying to scare you, but I know you’re not used to the attention. It can be intense and aggressive. Both Holli and I have been there. If you ever need to talk to someone, we understand, and we’re here for you. Just like the guys are experiencing their fame together, as the women behind the band, we share a similar experience. Have you met Lara?”

“No, not yet, but I’ve heard about her.”

“I’ve known Lara for years. She’s great. You’ll meet her tonight.”

“What’s tonight?”

Holli climbs out and suddenly after seeing her incredible body, I want to remain hidden in the water until they’re gone. Holli says, “The concert. The four of us are going together.”

“Oh I can’t,” I reply. “I have Ace, my five-year-old with me.”

This time Holli, standing in a bikini, towel dries her hair, and smiles. “We have two nannies to watch the kids. They’re great. Ace would love it. I heard he’s a wonderful boy.” Walking toward the changing area, she adds, “Come on. Let’s get some shopping in.”

Rochelle winks. “Don’t worry. I’ve got Derrick’s credit card. Let’s go spend some money.”

I would ask how she has it, but somehow, I know he won’t mind. He might have even given it to her. I’ll find out soon enough. I climb out and start drying off because there is no way I’m missing this opportunity. I have my friend, Leah, at home, but I’d love more girlfriends, especially ones that Derrick trusts and adores, and I know he does with these two. And they him. Perhaps I’m a little biased, but how could they not?

---

“At what point do you throw in the towel?” Holli asks lounging on a red leather chair just outside the dressing room, where I’m trying on probably my thirtieth dress.

“I’m not sure because you guys refuse to let me.” I can hear them laughing from the other side of the curtain currently dividing my nakedness from the entire fancy schmancy store. They told me to not look at the prices, but I did. Once, and then about had a heart attack and took their advice.

A black dress is shoved through the crack between the curtain and the wall and Holli says, “Try this last one on. I think it’s going to be our winner.”

“Why do I need a dress and heels? I have flats and jeans and blouses.”

They burst out laughing again. Rochelle says, “Which is fantastic most of the time, but tonight we’re going to knock Derrick right on his ass when he sees you.”

I pull the skin-tight dress on and adjust the straps on my shoulders. Bending forward I cup my left boob and lift it and then repeat with my right. I back out of the dressing room and ask, “Zip?”

Holli is right there ready to help. When I’m zipped, I turn around. “Ta-da!”

“Wow.” She steps back and looks me over. “Wow, Jamie. You look just . . . Wow. He is going to die when he sees you. Spin for us.”

Rochelle comes out of her room with a dress hanging off her shoulder and tags in her hand. “I found this one—Wow, Jamie.”

Holli smiles, taking pride in her work. “That’s what I said. That’s definitely the one.”

With her long brown hair off to one side, Rochelle, says, “You look incredible. How do you feel?”

“Incredible.”

They both smile.

At the counter, Rochelle slaps down Derrick’s credit card. “He gave it to me and told me to make sure you spend lots of money.”

“Why would he do that?”

“Because he knew you wouldn’t.” The clerk takes the card, the dress from me, and some lingerie the girls insisted I get for later.

Leaning on the counter, I say, “He knows me well.”

“You’ve got a good heart, Jamie. I can tell from spending time with you and with Ace. I also know a little about your background, Derrick’s shared background. I’m not going to pretend to understand what you’ve gone through, but he says you work hard and are going to school. That’s amazing. So try to enjoy the few days here if you can.”

“Derrick makes it easy.”

“Ace has really taken to him. When Derrick came and got him this morning, he ran right to him. It was like they’ve known each other forever.”

“What time did he pick up Ace?”

The clerk hands the receipt back for me to sign. I catch a glimpse of the total and gasp. “I can’t spend that.”

Rochelle takes the pen and scribbles Derrick’s name. “You’re not. He is,” she replies all sassy. I’m handed the dress, which is left on the hanger and a nice bag with fabric straps. I’ll save it and carry my lunch in it when I return home.

Holli’s already in Christian Louboutin when we leave the dress store. Rochelle says, “Derrick got him around six a.m.”

I stop. “What? Why?”

Eyeing me, she asks, “He didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“Well, I’m only telling you. Please know I’m not making any judgments.”

“Okay,” I reply even more worried now.

She goes on to tell me how she found Ace in the closet crying. My heart hurts and I feel sick to my stomach. “I need to sit a minute.”

We sit outside the shoe store. Holli is inside trying on a pair of red-soled shoes, and Rochelle sits with me. “Look, there’s a story there. Obviously,” Rochelle says. “If you need help, I’m here for you and Ace. I’ll help however I can.”

“There’s no helping us. It is what it is.” My son is damaged because of me. “Derrick and I spoke earlier. This is why he offered to help us. He knows some stuff.” Angling her way, I say, “Ace’s father is a very bad man. That’s all I can say.”

Her hand covers mine. “Derrick has been through a lot. I’m sure you might have heard the same about Dex. They’re a lot alike, those two. Not just the past partying, but their hearts are gold and when they love, they love with their entire soul.” She stands, rearranging her shopping bags on her arm. “That man loves you, which means he’ll do anything for you. All you have to do is let him in.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“Not easy, but worth the effort.” Walking toward the store, she turns back when she realizes I’m not with her. “Well, come on. Holli has ten pairs of shoes for you to try on. Let’s complete that outfit.”

Two pairs of beautiful shoes, a designer handbag from another store, and a sparkly clutch later, we are done shopping. I didn’t bother going to the counters. I knew I’d never be able to sign the receipt. Rochelle looks at her watch. “Sound check is almost over. Let’s go sneak a peek.”

We work our way through the maze of back hotel hallways and Rochelle flashes her badge to get backstage. My breath lodges in my throat when we enter through a set of doors and I see the band on stage, when I see Derrick on stage. I watch, mesmerized by what I’m seeing. I’ve seen footage online and videos, interviews and performances on shows, but never in person. I move to sit in a seat hidden in the darkness of the arena.

I’m about to sit down, but Holli says, “We should go say hi. Dalton will figure out I’m here if I don’t. He has a sixth sense.”

Rochelle laughs. “He has a Holli sense.”

The band stops mid-song and Dex stands. “I’m getting water. You guys figure out your riff shit.”

Johnny walks to Derrick and they both start playing. Derrick says, “That’s where I come in and then sing the chorus.”

“That’ll work,” Johnny replies. “One more time.”

They sync up their guitars and go through the part again. Derrick adds, “That’s it.”

“Hey,” Holli says, leaning against the edge of the stage. “Look who I brought with me.”

The three guys look over her head and right at me. Derrick’s expression lights up and I love that a little too much. “Hey, babe,” he says, walking to the front of the stage and kneeling down. “Ace is with Tommy.”

I love that he tries to ease my worries first. “And Tommy is?”

Rochelle says, “I’ll take you back to the dressing room. Dex is back there too.”

Johnny lifts Holli onto the stage and they kiss under the spotlight. I’m such a voyeur, but I can’t stop myself from staring. I’m not sure if it’s relationship goals I’m jealous of or that their lives just seem so much easier and freer than mine. Either way, I want that.

Derrick has set his guitar down and hops off the stage. “Hey, beautiful.”

“Derrick?”

“Yeah?”

I’m overtaken with emotion—I think all that shopping has made me lose my mind. This is not my world and has never been my world. Holli and Rochelle are so lovely, and although I feel bonded with them, I still feel out of my league. This is outside of my norm. I don’t want to embarrass myself, but I especially don’t want to embarrass Derrick. Leaning against him, I whisper, “Do you think I’ll fit in your world?”

“What? Of course, but you don’t need to fit in. You are my world, my love.”