CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CALDER
I wait until both Lily and the baby are asleep before I decide to sneak out. As much as I want to sit here with her in my arms forever, our conversation about her mother reminded me of a call I need to make.
I look down at her before I leave. Her brown hair is in a messy bun on her head, and she doesn’t have a stitch of makeup on, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look so beautiful. I lean over and press a kiss against her forehead as I lift our sleeping son out of her arms.
He’s so tiny that I’m afraid I’ll break him. But even though he was born a little early, the doctor told us he’s perfectly healthy—and after hearing him scream this morning, I’m tempted to believe him. This little guy has quite a pair of lungs on him.
I settle him gently in the bed the nurse wheeled in for him. I can see so much of Lily in him—and so much of myself. I knew I would love my son, but the intensity of my feelings is startling. When I think of how close I came to losing both of them, my entire body tenses.
My son. His eyelids flutter as he sleeps, and I give him a final touch on the cheek before stepping out of the room.
I haven’t left the hospital since we arrived two days ago. I spent last night in a chair next to Lily’s bed. My sister and Ward weren’t able to come in the air ambulance with us that first night, but meanwhile, they’ve been handling everything at the estate. When the water lowered again late yesterday afternoon, they organized a tow truck to get my car. And they brought us some clothes and other supplies from home—including, by some miracle, my cell phone. Apparently they found it on the front seat of my car. The water wasn’t high enough there to sweep it away, and the branches of the fallen tree must have protected it from the worst of the rain.
I had a handful of messages waiting for me on the phone—one from the credit card company, one from my work, and one from the private detective who I hired to look into Taran Harker. I ignored all but the last one.
The detective finally managed to locate Mr. Harker. He was even able to give me his new phone number. Though I’ve had plenty of other important things to think about these last two days, in the back of my mind, I’ve been mulling over what to do about this.
But the more time I spend with my new son, the clearer it becomes to me that there’s only one course of action. And that conversation with Lily about her mom only solidified my decision. I pull up the number the investigator gave me and give it a call.
I clench and unclench my fist as the phone rings. My back aches—I know I’m going to need to see a doctor eventually—but there are more important things to do first.
Finally, just when I think my call is going to be ignored, someone picks up.
“Hello?”
His voice is familiar, even after a year. I clear my throat.
“Hello, Taran. This is Calder Cunningham.”
“No,” Taran says immediately. “No fucking way. I’m not having this convers—”
“Just hear me out,” I say. “I know things started off on the wrong foot between us, but I want to make things right.”
“Look, man. I don’t want your charity,” he says. “Why don’t we just skip all the small talk and jump to the part where you have me arrested again?”
I don’t blame him for being resentful about the way things played out before, but I remind myself that he handled things just as poorly as I did. I take a deep breath.
“I’m not offering charity,” I say. “I’m just offering us both the chance to know the truth once and for all. I think we should take a DNA test.”
He’s silent for a long moment before answering. “I’m Wentworth Cunningham’s son. I don’t have any doubts about that.”
“Then a DNA test will only prove it. And erase any doubts anyone else might have.” Part of me still doesn’t want to believe my father could have been unfaithful to my mother, but there’s only one way to settle the question.
But apparently Taran is still thinking this over.
“What happens when the test reveals that we’re brothers?” he asks.
“Then we figure out from there what we want to do, if anything.” It might take us some time to move past how things started between us, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. I glance back through the window into the room where my wife and son are sleeping. Life is too short, too precious—and family is too important.
Taran is still silent.
“I’m not my father,” I tell him. And Lily isn’t her mother—but that doesn’t mean our parents haven’t shaped us into the people we are. Now we have the chance to do better than them, to be stronger. All of our family trials have led us to this moment. They’ve taught us how to be the best parents for our son.
“Okay,” Taran says finally. “Let’s do this.”
* * *
A couple of hours later, Lily is awake again. I’m sitting at her bedside, watching our son sleep, when I hear her stir.
“Good afternoon,” I say. “Feeling rested?”
“I could sleep for another ten hours,” she admits. “But I’m not sure I can go another minute without holding our son.”
I smile, rising. “Let me get him for you.”
She props herself up against the pillow while I bring him over to her. He stirs in my arms, starting to wake, then lets out a tiny little wail.
“Hush,” I say gently. “Don’t worry. Here’s your mother.” I pass him down into Lily’s arms.
She coos to him and rocks him gently, trying to pacify him. But his wails only grow louder.
“He’s probably hungry again,” she says—and I detect a bit of anxiety in her voice. She’s still getting the hang of nursing, and her last attempt didn’t go so well.
“Do you want me to call the nurse?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Let me try first.”
It takes a little effort—and I can see her starting to get frustrated—but finally both mother and son seem to figure it out. She lets out a sigh and leans back against the pillow.
There’s nothing quite as beautiful, quite as wondrous, as watching Lily nurse our son. And she seems just as enamored by the act as I am. She stares down at the child with all the love of the world in her eyes.
“I’ve thought of a name,” she says finally. “What do you think of Noah?”
Noah. I look at him, getting a feel for the name, and the side of my mouth creeps up. “Because of the flood?”
“It’s a little on the nose, I know,” she says with a laugh. “But I’ve always liked the name. And though part of me just wants to forget the night he was born, another part of me wants to celebrate it. We survived it, Calder. We survived, and I’ve never felt more joy or more hope.”
I sit down next to her on the bed, pulling her close. “I love it. I think it’s the perfect name.”
She strokes Noah’s hair. His fingers curl against her breast in response.
“I have an idea for a middle name, too,” she says. She looks up at me. “What do you think of Calder?”
“I…” The thought of giving our son my name makes my chest swell with pride. I brush my lips against her temple. “I love it.”
“Noah Calder Cunningham,” she says softly. “I think it suits him.”
It does. And there’s never been a more precious child in all the world.
* * *
Later that afternoon, we have some visitors. Lou and Ward show up with Ramona, and their daughter seems fascinated by her new cousin.
“Ba!” she cries, reaching for him.
“Yes, it’s a baby,” Lou says to her. “His name is Noah.”
“Ba ba ba,” Ramona says. She looks so big next to Noah, and I pray that my son doesn’t grow as quickly as my niece seems to. I’m not ready for that.
Honestly, I’m not sure I’m ready for fatherhood at all, but it’s too late to worry about that now. Noah is here, and I’m going to love him and protect him as fiercely as I love and protect Lily.
I step back to give my sister room to sit down on the bed. While she coos over Noah, I go stand next to Ward.
“How does it feel to be a dad?” he asks me.
“It’s indescribable,” I say. It’s still hard to believe that he’s finally here. “It’s… wonderful, of course. But also…”
“Absolutely terrifying? Yeah.” He grins at me. “I’m warning you now—that feeling never really goes away.”
“I can’t imagine it would.” I look over at my wife and my son. I’m going to spend the rest of my life protecting those two—and there’s no job I want more in all the world.
“Don’t worry, though,” Ward continues. “A few things get easier. You’ll get used to living on no sleep pretty quickly.” He follows my gaze toward the bed. “And if you and Lily ever need any help with anything, you know you only have to ask.”
“I appreciate that,” I say sincerely. Ward and I didn’t exactly get off to a great start—that seems to be a pattern with me—but I’ve come to respect him deeply. He’s a good man—and the husband my younger sister deserves.
But I owe him more words than that.
“I never got a chance to properly thank you for the other night,” I say. He risked his life to come find me in that storm, and I want him to know that I recognize that fact.
He just shrugs. “I know we’ve had our differences, but I wasn’t about to let you drown. Besides, Lou would have killed me if I came back to her empty-handed.” His grin widens as he rubs his jaw. “But you owe me for that punch, man.”
“Yeah, I’m very sorry about that.” I clasp his shoulder. “Why don’t you let me get you a couple of drinks later to make up for it?”
“I wouldn’t turn that down.”
“Ward,” Lou says from the bed. “Come look at what Noah’s doing. It’s adorable.” She turns her smile toward me. “You did a good job with this little one, Calder.”
“Don’t look at me,” I reply. “Lily is the one who did all the work.” I meet my wife’s gaze, and the smile she gives me takes my breath away.
Before she can say anything, though, our little family party gets even bigger.
“Is this a good time?” comes a familiar voice from behind me. Lily’s father has arrived with his fiancée in tow. He stopped by briefly yesterday, but this is Regina’s first visit with the baby. She has several big “It’s a Boy!” balloons with her.
“Dad!” Lily says with joy. “You’re welcome in here whenever you wish. And Regina, it’s so good to see you.”
I stay by the door as Lily welcomes the new arrivals. Both Regina and David make a big fuss over Noah, and I’m grateful that, after everything that’s happened with her mom, Lily has such supportive people in her life. Grateful that we all do.
Over the next half hour, there’s much laughing and chatting and fussing over the baby. After a little while, Noah wakes up and starts whimpering.
“Here,” I say, stepping toward the bed. “Let me have him for a while.” I take my son into my arms and rock him gently.
For a moment, the rest of the room disappears. There’s only me and Noah. My eyes soak up every inch of him.
My son. My little boy.
I look up, taking in the joyful smiles of the people around me.
My family.
Finally, my eyes find Lily’s, and in her gaze I find all of the love I could ever need. Everything in my life—every pain, every struggle, every challenge—has led us to this moment, and I wouldn’t trade any of it.
And as I look back down at Noah, as I think of all the new joys that await us over the coming years, I know that this is only the beginning.