Chapter Nineteen
Shane
“I fucking knew it,” I said as soon as Brooklyn opened the door to the gym. I’d knocked, half hoping I was wrong and half hoping I was right, and at least she’d had to unlock the door, but still. Almost ten o’clock at night and she was sitting here alone, the lights from the place a beacon to passersby who were up to no good.
Her mouth hung open as her mind spun for an excuse, but we both knew she was busted. Finally she just shrugged.
“Mm-hm.” I extended the Big Gulp of Mountain Dew I’d stopped to get on the way over.
She gave a little squeal and hugged me, and I decided I’d bring her soda every damn day. “Thank you,” she said, and I wrapped my free arm around her, giving her an extra squeeze and wishing I didn’t have to let go. So far, taking it a day at a time was…torturous. I wanted to ignore the reasons we’d agreed crossing lines would be bad, throw caution to the wind, and kiss the hell out of her.
“Now,” I said—I’d told her I would let her know when I’d kiss her if I had my way, and with her lips so close it was all I could think about. She pulled away, her eyes going wide. Then she ducked her head and swiped a strand of hair behind her ear. Without a word, she headed back to her desk, and I followed. Since I’d put the weirdness in the air I figured it was my job to clear it. “So, how’d the last half of your day go?”
“Not great. My dad and I had another thing because he’s too stubborn to listen to reason.”
“Hmm. Sounds like someone else I know.”
She shot me a dirty look that was ridiculously cute. Now, I thought but forced myself to not say it aloud. She gave me the rundown of their argument.
“And then he…” She shook her head. “Never mind.”
“What?”
“Just said something that hurt my feelings, even though I don’t think he meant for me to hear, and…yeah, not going there, so let’s move on.” She lifted her drink and wrapped her bright pink lips around the straw. “Mmm, this is extra strong, just the way I like it. Are you sure you don’t want any sugary, syrupy goodness?”
I dragged a hand over my face. “You’re killing me on two levels.”
She tipped the soda my way, one eyebrow arching higher than the other, and I slowly leaned forward and took a swig.
“You’re a bad influence,” I said, and a victorious smile spread across her face and lit up her eyes. The smallest things made her so happy, and I wanted to find out more of her favorite things so I could bring them to her and she could tempt me to enjoy them along with her.
Yeah, I’ve officially lost my mind over this girl.
We made small talk as she packed up, although talk with her never seemed small, each word impacting me more than I should let it.
“Aren’t you gonna be up all night now?” I jerked my chin at her nearly empty cup.
“Nah. I’m practically immune to caffeine now. I can drink a Big Gulp and go right to sleep.”
Too bad, because I could think of a lot of things I’d like to stay up all night doing with her. In further proof I’d lost my mind, while some of those things were definitely on the dirty side, if all we ended up doing was talking and laughing until the sun came up, I’d still consider it a win.
I walked with her as she checked the front door and shut off the lights, painfully aware it meant parting ways soon. The closer we got to those last grains of sand slipping through the hourglass, the more leaden my lungs felt. When we were mere steps from the back door, I could hardly stand it, the need to touch her grew so strong.
I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her back to my chest.
“Shane,” she said, her voice as shaky as my resolve.
“Just let me hold you for a minute.” I lowered my lips to the top of her head, not kissing her like I wanted to but resting them there and breathing her in. My hand hit the top of her jeans and I splayed my fingers, just enough that my thumb and index breached the hem of her shirt. I groaned at the feel of her soft skin and her sharp inhale of breath.
For a moment we remained that way, not talking, barely breathing, desire building and intensifying until it threatened to consume me.
“Why do you have to be all thoughtful and easy to talk to?” she asked, her hand covering mine. “It’d be so much easier if you were the cocky player I pegged you as in the beginning…”
“If it makes you feel better, I’m thinking about how amazing it feels to be pressed up against your ass, and the word peg is giving me dirty flashes of pinning you against the nearest wall.” All true, but now that I’d voiced them they were multiplying, and there was no use trying to hide my body’s reaction. My hard-on strained against my zipper, the tight fabric getting more uncomfortable by the second.
“Not helping,” she said, the rasped words only sending more desire pumping through my body.
“And you’re sure we can’t—”
“I’m sure. I’m not going to pretend I’m not tempted, but nothing’s changed. I still have a boyfriend and will be leaving at the end of the summer, and you’re still focused on training for your next fight—a fight you have pretty much everything riding on. The timing’s just…” Her chest rose and fell with her shallow breaths. “Shane, I just can’t.”
“I know,” I said, and using every ounce of my willpower, I dropped my hand and took a large step back.
Her gaze stayed straight ahead as we pushed through the exit, and she remained very methodical as she climbed inside her car and fastened her seatbelt. I leaned my forehead against the cool metal of the top of her Mustang, not that it helped—at this point, only one thing would, and it was the one thing I couldn’t have.
I wanted to look down at her one last time before I wished her a good night, closed her car door, and let her go. But I knew if I did, I wouldn’t let her go.
So I closed her door, then spun on my heel and climbed on my bike, and watched in agony as she drove away from me.