Chapter Twenty-Two
Brooklyn
Obviously I’d lost my temper and my control and pretty much anything else you could lose. I hadn’t expected to run into Conrad here, but I should’ve known once I’d seen his BFF behind the bar that he’d rush to tell him I was here.
The Fainting Goat was notorious for fighters. I’d been coming for years, even before I could legally drink. At seventeen, I’d felt like I was old enough to break the rules and imbibe a little, but not a single one of the guys would sneak me so much as a beer. Funny enough, that was around the same time I’d met Conrad, proving I’d made a lot of sketchy choices that year.
I should’ve seen this coming. Old habits died hard, especially when you forgot why you’d started to avoid a certain place, regardless of the good memories you had there.
“You okay?” Shane asked, stopping me with a hand on my arm.
My cheeks heated as I remembered being plastered against Shane’s hard body, his intense gaze on me like I was the only thing in the world that’d existed in that moment. The brush of his scruff against my neck and the scrape of his teeth on my earlobe… Goose bumps spread across my skin, the way they had when he’d executed the move. It was supposed to be a quick act, one that motivated Conrad and his big ol’ fragile ego to agree to take on Shane in the cage. Shane deserved a chance at a big fight after all he’d been through, and I’d seen a way to make it happen that didn’t involve groveling to the asshole who’d cheated on me.
The guy who’d treated me like a possession. If my brothers knew how rough Conrad had been with me, they would’ve beat the shit out of him and most likely lost their careers in the process. He had never hit me, thankfully. Just a lot of possessive grabbing that left me with bruises around my wrists or upper arms and some borderline verbal abuse I didn’t recognize until after I’d gained some perspective, and I wished I’d ended it before he’d cheated on me.
Despite his volatile moods, I’d still been crushed when I told him that I didn’t forgive him and that we were over. He was my first love—at least I thought I’d been in love—and I used to believe that we were one of those super passionate, destined-to-be-together couples.
I was so stupid, giving up everything I wanted to try to keep him happy. That was why I couldn’t get too comfortable in this world again. The ups and downs were too much, and worse, I lost sight of myself along the way. At the end, all I’d been left with were pieces of the girl I used to be. It took so long to put those pieces back together. So many days and nights of wondering if I’d ever be whole again.
“Hey,” Shane said, placing his hand on the side of my neck and yanking me out of the past. “You’re scaring me.”
“I’m okay. Just a bit shaken up is all.” For a second I got lost in the way Shane was looking at me, tender but with a fierce, possessive edge that bordered on something else entirely, and I had to remind myself I wanted levelheaded and reliable. I wanted steady and calm and there for me when I needed him. I had that with Trey.
I’m such a shitty girlfriend. The act had gone too far, and I’d be pissed if the situation was reversed, supposed friend or not.
I crossed my arms, adding a much-needed boundary between us. “Dude. The ass grab? Really?”
Shane shrugged, a cat-eating-the-canary grin on his lips. “What? You said to go with it.”
My brothers caught up to us before we reached the table with the rest of the guys, who all looked like they were on the verge of shooting out of their chairs if the situation called for it.
I almost got our whole team involved in a stupid bar fight. Great. Maybe now Dad’ll finally say good riddance instead of trying to convince me to stay.
Finn glanced back at the bar, where we’d had the fun little altercation. “He’s gone.”
“Good,” Liam said, then he gestured a finger between me and Shane. “As for this? Not happening.”
I rolled my eyes. “Jeez, Mom. Not only do you not get to tell me what to do, but I have a boyfriend. That whole display was just an attempt to land Shane a big fight. You’re welcome.”
“We didn’t want you to have to deal with him, which is why we vetoed the idea of you going to him.”
“You and Finn did, but Dad made it clear he didn’t care if it was beyond my comfort level. So the opportunity arose and sure, I did it my way instead of his, but I bet it’ll work. By tomorrow morning Conrad will have called his manager and his coaches and told them to set it up. That means Dad’ll ease up, and we can all go back to pretending he wants me here for more than to be his bookkeeper and the pawn he moves into bad territory when he wants a fight arranged.”
“Wait. What?” Shane glanced from me to my brothers, then back at me. “What the fuck is going on?”
Finn clapped Shane on the back. “Conrad is Brooklyn’s ex-boyfriend. Obviously he still has issues with letting go, and I’m guessing she just secured you a fight with him. Congrats, dude.”
Shane didn’t appear to be very excited about the news. He turned to me like he wanted a different answer—or perhaps something more—but I didn’t want to get into it. My stomach roiled, either from the alcohol or the stress of dealing with my ex, or possibly even from the rock of guilt that’d taken up residence in my gut and grew heavier by the second. “I’m actually feeling kind of sick,” I said. “I just wanna go home.”
“I’ll take you,” Shane said, placing his hand on my back. As much comfort as it provided, I knew leaning into it like I wanted to would up the guilt factor, and I already felt like a horrible person.
Before I got the chance to tell him that wasn’t a good idea, Finn took in Liam’s glower and stepped up to me on the other side. “I’ll take her.”
Even though I’d come to the conclusion that I couldn’t go with Shane, I missed the heat of his hand immediately.
You’ve really made a mess of things this time. In less than a month, too. That had to be a new record.
…
First thing on Monday, I received an urgent text from Dad, giving me a whole hour’s notice about a meeting he needed me to attend in his office. I’d contemplated skipping the meeting and showing up late for work to show I wasn’t his puppet, but I decided it’d be easier on both of us if we just pretended to have an employee/employer relationship. Then I wouldn’t hope for more, and it’d be harder for him to disappoint me.
When I strolled in, a Big Gulp of Mountain Dew in hand, Dad and Finn sat on opposite sides of the couch—not like they were in a fight or anything, but guys had some unspoken rule about sitting too close if there was another option, like how they’d leave a movie theater chair between them if they could.
I glanced at Liam seated opposite the couch in the roller chair. “Ooh, are we finally having that intervention to get Liam to call Chelsea and make things right so we can actually bear to be around him again?”
Nearly identical scowls twisted Liam’s and Dad’s faces, while Finn hid his grin behind his hand.
“Okay, guess not. Tough crowd, tough crowd.” I stepped over Dad’s legs, choosing to bypass the middle couch cushion in favor of perching on the armrest next to Finn. It seemed like the safer option. Bonus, Finn fist bumped me for my hilarious comment. “Are we expecting—?”
“Morning,” Shane said as he stepped into the room. His gaze snagged on mine for a moment before he leaned back against the wall, one ankle casually crossed over the other, his arms folded in a way that brought out every muscle in his arms, from his bulging biceps to his defined forearms.
Finn nudged me, and I noticed Dad was suddenly paying super close attention to me. I wasn’t sure if it was for ogling Shane, or for…whatever bug had bit him. At this point, it was anyone’s guess.
Dad ran his fingers over the stubble on his chin. “I heard there was an incident Friday night at the Fainting Goat.”
My stomach bottomed out. “No one threw a punch. If anything, I started it, but Conrad was the one who showed up after he heard I was there.”
“I thought you didn’t care if Knox got the chance to fight him,” Dad said, blunt and tactless as usual.
“I never said…” My temper flared to life, and Finn put his hand on my knee like he planned to hold me back if I lunged at Dad. But damn, did he have to make me sound so cold and heartless? He didn’t even understand what he’d asked me to do in the first place, or why it was so hard for me—that or he simply didn’t care, and while I knew our relationship was rocky, I didn’t want to believe it was quite that destitute.
I looked at Shane, afraid I’d see hurt, but he’d thrown up his emotionless mask. “Out of context, I know that sounds bad,” I said. “I want you to get the chance, if not with him, with another fighter at his level. That’s why I taunted him at the bar.”
Dad’s stern expression cracked, and then he grinned, ear to fucking ear. “It worked. Conrad insisted you fill the open slot, Knox. You’re back in the game. I could hardly wait to share the news.”
I placed a hand over my rapidly-beating heart. “But what? You thought you should give us all panic attacks first?”
“I thought this would be more fun. Make you all worry for a second or two and then surprise you with the good news.”
The man really had no idea how to have fun. Making me sound shitty and then saying the equivalent of but eventually you came through, so yay, you’re useful again.
Everyone looked at one another as if they were afraid to believe it. As I thought about the reality of Shane in the cage with Conrad, my emotions whipped around in a confusing tornado. Worry, relief, fear, excitement. Since excitement was what Shane needed, I grabbed hold of that one and held on tight. “That ego of Conrad’s is going to get him in trouble, but I’m glad it worked.”
“It’s all set?” Shane asked, and I could hear the barely-contained enthusiasm in his voice. “For real?”
Dad nodded.
“And if I’m not mistaken, we’re talking the same night and venue that one of my all-time favorite fighters, Tyrone “Cyclone” Jones, is going to attempt to regain the middleweight belt.” Shane looked almost scared to say it aloud, like that would make it no longer true. “That’s the night I’m set to fight Conrad Rochenski?”
“The same night, same venue, in front of the same huge crowd,” Dad said. “That means we’ve only got a little more than six weeks to get ready, so I wanted your team all here. We’ve got to make a plan and get to work.”
I dragged my thumb over the beads of condensation that’d formed on my cup. “What am I going to do? Threaten to go over paperwork with anyone who doesn’t hit their marks?”
“You just proved what an asse—” Dad seemed to remember that we’d had a fight about him treating me like an asset instead of his daughter. “We need you on our team, Brooklyn. The gym runs better now than it has in a long time, and that’s thanks to you. We’re better with you here. Right, boys?”
At least they were as afraid of me as they were of Dad, because no one enthusiastically chimed in. Not for several beats anyway.
“Of course we’re better with her here, but she’s not better,” Liam said, shocking the hell out of me. “She’s exhausted and trying to catch up on all the shit that fell between the cracks, and that’s an unfair amount of pressure to put on her. Especially when you add ‘promoter’ into the mix.”
Dad cleared his throat, as if to say, hey, we have company. Let’s not air our dirty laundry.
Liam ignored it and looked at me. “When’s the last time you picked up a paintbrush?”
I shrugged. “Not sure. Not in the three weeks I’ve been here, though—I haven’t had the time.”
“That’s not okay. Take some time off to do that, and sooner rather than later—that’s an order. I’ll do however much laundry I need to, and I’ll even file fucking invoices if that’s what it takes.”
Now I felt bad about that intervention joke. I missed my hobby, and he missed his, even if his was a person instead of an activity.
“We’re getting off topic,” Dad huffed. “We need to get a plan in place to get Knox ready for the fight.”
They talked strategy, and when my dad and brothers were wrapped up in talk of drills and schedules, Shane caught my eye, placed his hand at on his chest, and mouthed “Thank you.”
Come on, heart. Stop fluttering like that. Don’t you remember the last time you fell for a fighter? I’d tried to talk myself out of my attraction for weeks, but it was no use. A part of me wanted him and had from the first day I’d walked into this gym. A big part that didn’t want to remain quiet anymore. At the bar, he’d asked if I would really want to help him land a girl for the night, and while I’d experienced a pinch of jealousy when I saw him talking to the brunette, that thought sent waves of it through me.
It wasn’t fair for me to ask him not to date or to hook up with other girls, and it wasn’t fair to keep dating Trey when my attraction to Shane refused to stay buried. No matter how much I justified my actions at the bar, guilt still weighed me down. I’d been relieved when Trey told me he’d be up in the mountains at his family’s cabin all weekend, with very limited service. It gave me more time to sort out my emotions. Not that I’d been successful, but there’d been a moment when I’d begrudgingly admitted to myself that my attraction ran deeper than simply looks and a healthy dose of lust. I liked Shane, and in way more than a friends-ish way.
But this fight changed everything. It meant the small bubble of free time we’d had was about to pop, and I was afraid if I didn’t slowly drift away, I’d find myself on my ass when it did.