Chapter One
He’s my best friend, he’s my best friend, he’s my best friend…
I inhaled another gulp of the ocean-scented air that’d welcomed me home and pushed inside the MMA gym where I’d spent countless hours sitting on the sidelines, forever suspended between whatever literary world I’d escaped into and a world of striking drills, sparring, and ripped guys talking about past or upcoming mixed martial arts fights.
My breath leaked out of me like a balloon that hadn’t been tied, complete with the screechy noise.
Liam stood in the middle of the caged-in area with no shirt on, the sweaty sheen coating his body accentuating all the muscles upon muscles. Really, universe? Couldn’t you at least hook a girl up and help make my goal a little attainable?
I hadn’t been back to San Diego in six months, and goal number one was to only think of my best friend in the most platonic of ways. No more having romantic-type feelings for him. Nope, I was over that. Done being a slave to unrequited love. Of course, it was much easier to keep on track from hundreds of miles away.
The instant I stepped inside the gym that’d once served as my second home, the scent of rubber and worn leather invaded my senses and the familiar tap, tap, tap of gloved fists made me yearn to settle into my usual chair and turn into the girl I used to be. The one who spent hours avoiding her actual home by watching her best friend train for hours. Past Chelsea hadn’t had much of a life besides that, but since it meant being around Liam, that version of me hadn’t cared about a social life.
Current Chelsea was working on caring, although she still preferred nights in more often than not. I’ve been doing so well, though. I went out on that date last month. And sure, maybe I accidentally compared him to Liam, and naturally he fell short, but I’m trying.
Vaguely I noticed no one was seated behind the front desk. I talked to Liam on the phone here and there—although prying information from him was like convincing a baby to release their death-grip on a sucker—so I knew that Brooklyn only occasionally worked at the gym, but still came in a lot since her new boyfriend was also part of Team Domination. As much as I wanted to see Brooklyn, I was kind of glad no one sat behind the desk right now because it made it easier to hang back and soak in the action. AKA, ogle the fighters, and I had my eyes on one in particular. The very same guy I’d watched strike and hit more times than I could count through the years, and my heart skipped to the rhythm of his motions.
As usual, a buzzer counted down the time the fighters had left in this training round—three minutes to go, which meant they’d started these drills two minutes ago.
The professional fighting world had been completely foreign to me when I moved next door to the Roths at age twelve. Liam was closest to my age, and totally the strong silent type, which complemented my frantic, random-fact-spewing self quite nicely. I’d seen him out in his front yard the day we’d moved in and, determined not to be the sad new girl with no friends, forced one foot in front of the other until I was standing right in front of him. He was even bigger up close, and while I’d wanted to abort, his electric blue eyes locked on to mine and I’d stared way past the polite range.
Once I found my voice I informed him we’d just moved in—as if he wouldn’t have realized that what with the fact that I’d come from the house next door, the moving van still parked at the curb. I threw in some “fun facts” about both Yucca Valley, where we’d lived before that, and myself, and I cringed at the memory of how I’d gone on and on about my collection of unicorns and how it’d filled two boxes. If there was anything I excelled at, it was embarrassing myself.
Liam simply let me talk, nodding a whole lot as I rattled on and on, and when my brain finally got the signal to my mouth to stop talking already, he said he was walking down the road to grab food. I’d slowly backed away, hearing what I assumed was a hint to leave loud and clear. Only then he’d added “You wanna come?” and that was that. Like a trusty dog, anytime he was going anywhere, I’d jump at the chance to go with him.
I could hardly remember a time when we weren’t friends, and even though things were currently more complicated than they used to be, he was still my closest friend and my absolute favorite person in the world. For years we’d fended off assumptions and accusations of being more than friends. Again and again we’d explain that we were just friends and why was that so hard to believe? Back then I’d even meant it, and I had no doubt he did, too.
About six months ago, my feelings went rogue on me. I’d tried to stop them. But hello, he was tall and buff and he had this longish forever-tousled blond hair that made him look like that Greek god who wielded a hammer. While I’d always noticed he was hot, suddenly I couldn’t notice anything but that.
One night I’d come dangerously close to kissing him and ruining everything, and since I didn’t have many friendships, I couldn’t risk messing up ours unless he felt the same. Liam had never been what you’d call forthcoming with the emotions, so I didn’t have much to go on. His brother and sister always insisted he cared about me, and I knew he did, but he’d shown no signs that his feelings for me went deeper than friendship.
In order to keep myself from screwing up our relationship, I’d resorted to drastic measures. Not that I was testing him or anything, because an amazing job opportunity did come up, and in a lot of ways, it seemed like just the escape I’d been looking for. If it hadn’t been for Liam, I would’ve put more space between me and my toxic family the second I graduated high school. So when I’d mentioned the job opportunity and told him it included having to relocate to Denver, I’d watched his face, hoping to see anything that might lead me to believe his feelings ran deeper. I could stay for more, but I couldn’t keep waiting and hoping and wrecking my social life waiting on something that’d never happen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to date when you have a ginormous, overprotective best friend? The few guys who’d actually hit on me ran in the other direction once they met Liam.
Instead of asking me not to go, or even saying he didn’t want me living that far away, Liam told me it’d be good for me to get away and that the job sounded perfect, and the fact that he was so blasé about it made it clear I needed some space before I went and did something that’d ruin everything. The time and space had been good for me, too. I’d grown a lot over the last six months. I’d learned how to be bolder, how to make new friends, and how to erect boundaries when I needed to go that route.
But standing here now, I didn’t feel bold, and I didn’t want boundaries, even though I should set some for my own protection. After all, I wasn’t back permanently. The company I worked for wanted to expand to the west coast, and since I was from San Diego, my boss had added me to the team that would be opening a branch here. I had six weeks to get in and out and spend as much time as possible with Liam without falling for him all over again.
Six weeks. No big deal. I’m the picture of self-control.
Just ask that box of donuts that I plowed through on my drive halfway across the country. Okay, so I’d meant to only eat a couple, but that was different. Donuts obviously loved me back.
My gaze remained locked on my guy—er, my guy friend—and my rapid pulse rushed through my head in that way that made it hard to think straight, and I just… Well, I was right there with every girl who’d ever swooned in Liam’s presence, which was a lot. I used to watch in amusement as they would turn into babbling idiots around him, and I’d even teased him about all of his groupies, but right now, it didn’t strike me as funny. I had all the empathy for any girl who went and fell for Liam Roth. Especially since he was so damn hard to get over.
The five-minute buzzer sounded, Liam’s unwavering focus on his training broke, and slowly—like serious slow-motion-type shit that you see in romance movies—his eyes scanned the area and landed right on me. My heart stopped for one second. Two seconds…
A grin curved his lips, and then my feet were propelling me forward and he was rushing down from the caged-in training area, and a floaty, fuzzy sensation took over my body.
Right when the hugging I desperately wanted to commence was finally within my reach, Liam stopped short. His arms dropped to his sides, and he frowned as he glanced down at himself—since he was looking at his muscles, I figured that made it okay for me to follow suit. You know, in case he had any questions. Why, yes, your abs do look crazy amazing and I’ve thought about licking them. I thought you’d never ask.
“I’m all sweaty from training.” He glanced over his shoulder, in the direction of the locker room. “I’ll hit the showers real quick and then—”
I flung myself at him, not caring. Needing my arms around him, and his arms around me, because conflicted feelings or not, I’d missed him with a nearly-consuming longing that begged to be appeased. “You look… I mean, training is obviously… And I’m so happy to be…”
Great. Now I was the babbling idiot in his presence, something I hadn’t been since I was twelve. Guess that was karma, paying me back. In addition to being a bit flustered by his hotness, it went deeper than that, though. This was my Liam, my rock, my friend who’d always been there for me. The guy I could have fun doing absolutely nothing with.
He tightened his grip, hugging me so tightly my toes left the ground. “Damn, I missed you.” His deep voice rumbled through me, sending a swirl of heat through my gut, and just like that, my goals turned hazy all over again.
He’s my best friend, he’s my best friend, he’s my best friend…
…